by Tam King-fai
Wings on your shoulders are not the same as shoes on your feet:
When shoes grow worn, you can always ask your mother for another
pair, but not so with wings. A feather broken is a feather lost, and there’s
no way to replace it. What’s more, merely having wings does not alone
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yourself to get fat, your wings may become too weak to pull you up.
Now, that would be a problem, wouldn’t it? How ludicrous it would be
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_W]TL KWUM NWZ XMWXTM W KITT W] W aW] ¹5a NZQMVL TM¼[ OW JIKS
_PQTMIX]ZXTQ[PP]MQ[[QTTPMZMQVPM[SaºAW]_W]TLPMIZPMQZ_QVO[
Æ]\MZQVO QV PM IQZ IVL [MM PW_ PM [XZQVO KTW]L[ [MMU W R]UX W^MZ
to support their shoulders as they set their eyes toward that glorious
3
A land measure that varies from place to place, but is generally regarded as the equivalent of one-sixth of an acre. The variance may indicate differences in
productivity.
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100
A Garden of One’s Own
place they came from. Then they would fade from your vision like mist
wafting and drifting, leaving, just like the skylark, only a shower of
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PIUWUMVaW]_W]TLJMTMNÆW]VLMZQVOWVMIZP0W_QV[]NNMZIJTM
how regrettable, how humiliating! Take good care of your wings, my
friend, before it is too late.
* * * * * * *
aggravating it is to be crawling about on earth all the time, to say
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Head for the clouds, for the clouds! Which of us does not think about
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IVLÆWIIZW]VL]XPMZMTWWSQVOI\PM_IaW]ZXTIVMZWTT[IJW]TQSM
a tiny ball in the universe. Our gaze will wander from the land to the
ocean and then from the ocean back to the land. Let us take a good
look in mid-air—only then will we experience the joy of being human,
the power of being human, the responsibility of being human. If this
UWZIT^M[[MT WN W]Z[ Q[ WW PMI^a TM][ LQ[KIZL Q 1N _M KIV TM][ Æa
away from it all, from it all!
* * * * * * *
When human beings first discovered stoneware, they already were
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walls of the caves of primitive people has wings on its back. When they
depicted themselves chasing other animals with bows and arrows, they
also equipped themselves with wings on their backs. Cupid has a pair of
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QV PM PQ[WZa WN ÆaQVO
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These wings changed over the years, too, as one can see from Western
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PMJIKS[WN IVOMT[TQSMJ]\MZÆQM[
all the appearance of true wings. Gradually, the wings grew larger, their
position more stable, and their feathers fuller. On the backs of angels
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time, the human race had brought the concept of wings to reality, and
4
8*;PMTTMa¹
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Xu Zhimo
101
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returns again and again, making it the greatest mission of human beings
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of ideals, and the extremes of imagination; in doing so, we transform
ourselves into gods. Poetry grows forth from wings, and philosophy
circles in the air. To fly! Flying transcends everything, encompasses
everything, sweeps aside everything, devours everything.
* * * * * * *
Try to climb up that peak over there. If you can’t make it all the way,
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J]ZQML PMZM ¹
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all praise and bringing glory to the eternal resting place from which he
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*] ZMITTa W Æa' 1[V¼ Q Z]M PI [QVKM 1KIZ][ Q PI[ JMKWUM PM
task of human beings to make wings? And could this pair of wings
actually take off, carrying as they do the weight of civilization? All of
][KIUMPMZMJaÆQOPJ]_QTT_MZMITTaJMIJTMWÆaJIKS'+TIUXML
welded, crushed—will there ever be a day when this human-shaped bird
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* * * * * * *
All the while, that dark spot has been getting closer and is now above
my head. It turns out to be a bird-shaped machine. Suddenly, it swerves
to one side and a ball of light falls downward, and bang! explodes—
UaLZMIUWN ÆaQVOQ[[PI\MZMLIVLINM_KTW]L[JZWSMVQVXQMKM[IZM
added to the sky.5
5
The reference of this passage is unclear. One critic interprets it as the explosion of sunspots, although on a more literal level, a description of a bombing is a UWZM TQSMTa QVMZXZMIQWV 8MZPIX[ OQ^MV PM ÆQOP[ WN QUIOQVIQWV QV _PQKP
the author is indulging, this passage should best be taken surrealistically. The main point, at any rate, is that the author is awakened from his reverie by the sound of an explosion.
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qr
Yu Dafu
Yu Dafu (1896–1945) received a traditional Chinese education from
different schools in Hangzhou in his youth. After he was expelled
from Hangzhou University for participating in a student movement,
he went to Tokyo University to study economics. It is during this
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befriended other Chinese intellectuals who were in Japan at the same
time, including Guo Moro, Zhang Ziping, and Tian Han, with whom
he founded the Creation Society, an important literary group in early
twentieth-century China. When he returned to China, Yu served as
the editor of the Society’s journal and became an active voice in the
development of modern Chinese literature.
Yu spent his time during the Second World War in various places in
Southeast Asia. It is believed that the Japanese executed him toward the
end of the war.
¹5a 0]UJTM ;PMTMZ NZWU ?QVL IVL :IQV" ) +PZWVQKTMº Q[ I XTIaN]T
account of the process through which Yu acquired his home in
Hangzhou. Its whimsical tone is a far cry from the somberness of his
other works, which are better known for characters ridden with self
-
doubt and angst.
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104
A Garden of One’s Own
My Humble Shelter from Wind and Rain:
A Chronicle (1936)
The wish to own a house has been on my mind for a number of years.
Although I understand fully that the desire to create is good, whereas
the urge to possess is bad, when it comes to one’s own self-interest, I
have always felt that possession of the minimum implements of life’s
four major needs—clothing, food, lodging, and movement—should not
be left unsecured. I don’t wish to be clothed in brocade and am quite
content to eat the coarsest kind of food. But when it is a question of
having a house for lodging and a rickshaw—or at least a pair of socks
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say on anything unless one is equipped with them. A friend of mine also
once advised me that as soon as one is born into this world, one cannot
do without a piece of land. When one is alive, one needs the space, if
for no other reason than to hang around, sleep, or sit in it. Then, when
one dies, one needs to have a hole dug some place for burial. That,
of course, was the case before the introduction of cremation and the
existence of public cemeteries.
Thanks to my friends, after I moved to Hangzhou, I quite
unexpectedly came into possession of a piece of land, and the problem
of my burial was thus taken care of. As for living, however, I am
still living in somebody else’s house. Last spring, I wrote in a short
composition that I only wished to have a little place of my own. The
essay was a light piece written for a particular occasion, and I did not
expect anything to come of it. However, a response came soon after it
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_IV W J]QTL I PW][M _M _QTT JM I aW]Z KWUXTMM LQ[XW[ITº ) NZQMVL
WN [WUMUMIV[IT[W[IQL ¹1N aW]IZMVWI[SQVO NWZWWU]KP XMZPIX[
1KIVPQVSWN I_Iaº?QPPMTXNZWUITT[QLM[PMXTIVWJ]QTLI[PML
that would provide me with a shelter from wind and rain was thus
eighty percent realized. People who didn’t know me thought that I must
have grown rich; those who did said that I was taking a risk. Be it rich
or risky, what had started as a mere joke had by twists and turns become
a reality by autumn. The pounding began next to my present residence,
and the construction of the house was underway. The whole thing may
well be a result of my own folly,1 WZ WN Ua NZQMVL[¼ W^MZKWVÅLMVKM QV
1
¹.WTTaºIXXMIZ[QV-VOTQ[PQVPMWZQOQVIT
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Yu Dafu
105
me. In any case, from now on, my tattered books, army cot, old night-
stool, and other such things will not have to take after the wandering
Confucius and travel from place to place. In these ways, there is
something to be said for the desire to possess, after all!
Since I came into this project with nothing but my bare hands, of
course I knew better than to entertain unrealistic hopes. Initially, I only
planned to use hay where tiles were called for, and mud for the wall. I
MV^Q[QWVML Å^M ZWWU[ PI _MZM VMQPMZ WW JQO VWZ WW [UITT ITT TQVML
up in a row, just so that my yearning for my own place of residence
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WXMVML]XVM_XW[[QJQTQQM[5aZMTIQ^M[IQL¹?PMVaW]J]QTLIPW][M
you should at least pick a good day, and check out the bearings of the
site. There is a lot to be said for the ancient art of the I Ching 2 and
PM UWLMZV []La WN KW[UWTWOa IVL OMWOZIXPaº 0M PMV XZWKMMLML
to relate to me a number of verifiable examples of the efficacy of
geomancy, and the few friends present also gave their assent upon their
honor. More interestingly, the person they recommended, a worker of
miracles equipped with the power to divine heavenly wishes, was just
like us—a graduate of a modern institution of higher education who
had learned his ABCs and studied algebra and geometry.
Following my friend’s introduction and my conversion to the
mystical arts, the original building plan was changed. The thatched
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were originally arranged in a row like army barracks were now split up
and put into two small houses with two rooms in one and three in the
other. Connecting the two houses was a wall, from which a hole was
carved out to serve as an entrance. Moreover, on the two sides on these
two houses were added a number of small rooms whose functions were
yet to be determined. These changes of course added considerable
space to what I had originally planned, but at the same time, my debts
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of my debt is Mr. Guo Xiangjing, who even now is giving me advice,
[IaQVO ¹
vacant. As a remedy, I suggest you build a south-facing archway, and on
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By coincidence, what he said happened to touch upon a sore point
2
Often called Book of Changes in English, the I Ching is a treatise of mathematics and philosophy, often used for divination.
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106
A Garden of One’s Own
in my subconscious: All along, I had hoped to build something of a
tower at that empty corner, the name of which I had come up with
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tower has not yet been built, the cottage that I hoped would provide me
with a mere shed from wind and rain has now taken on a layer of red
paint, while its walls are now made of cement. It has even begun to look
like those houses in the poorest ghettoes in foreign countries. Although
I do not know anything about geomancy, when I think about Mr. Guo’s
recommendations on misty days or on mornings when the sunlight is not
all that strong, I can see that there is nothing mysterious in his proposal
that cannot stand the test of modern science. The reason that I have
to consider the plan when the light is not strong is that, after all, I am
still somewhat faint-hearted about the whole thing, and dare not appear
so self-assured as to use the best materials for my humble abode. This
consideration is not all that important, however; what is a bit troublesome is
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IVL ?QVLº¸LWM[ VW LM[KZQJM PM ZMITQa IVaUWZM 5a JZW_ N]ZZW_ML
in thought for a few days, and I came to realize that so-called mountain
recluses probably do not actually live in the mountains; I also saw that
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of the canine family. Things like this have been done before, and my
punishment, the death sentence. Besides, there by the West Lake stand
lofty mansions the size of the warehouses of big companies like Sincere
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have never heard of anyone coming forward to intervene. Best not to
think too much about it! I might as well hold to my original idea, keep
the old name that I came up with, and call this house my humble shed.
The placard bearing the name was written by Mr. Ma Junwu on my
behalf. Taking advantage of his recent trip to Hangzhou, I imposed my
request upon him, ignoring the searing pain he was suffering in his right
hand at the time.
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qr
Su Xuelin
Su Xuelin (1897–1999) was born to a late Qing bureaucrat who held
the view that a virtuous woman should be uneducated. Thus, from very
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to drown herself in a river if her wish were not granted, Su gained
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First Normal School for Girls, then went on to Beijing Women’s Normal
College in 1919, and concluded her formal education with three years
of study at Institut Franco-Chinois de Lyon. She was called back to
China by her mother and married the man that her family had arranged
NWZPMZJMNWZM[PMPILIKPIVKMWÅVQ[PPMZ[KPWWTQVO
Su began her career as a creative writer, and later became a literary
scholar. In her late years as a teacher in Taiwan, she published studies
of Chinese literature of various periods. She was known as a staunch
critic of the Communist Party and its cultural icon, Lu Xun.
As an essayist, Su is adept in manipulating the casualness of the essay
NWZU¹1V5a5WUMV[WN ,MRMKQWVºISM[WVIXMZ[WVITWVM_QPPM
reader; she suggests that an essay should be as spontaneous as a letter to
a close friend or careless doodling of one’s reading notes. The subject
matter is similarly pedestrian. Through contact with two ordinary
WJRMK[ _WWT IVL XMIZ[ ;] KWVMUXTIM[ _W [QOVQÅKIV QVKQLMV[ WN
her past. This associational technique—beginning with a moment
and ending with an account through memory—represents a common
