My mum thought for a moment. ‘It’s a generous idea but have you thought about your long-term future. What if we lost the money we invested?’
‘I don’t think we will. I think Glendale can be successful again, but if it didn’t work out, we could just sell the premises down the line to a company like New Horizons. I really don’t think it will come to that. Look at how everyone came together when we asked for help. I think it’s in everyone’s interests for this to be successful.’
‘As the shops made more, they could pay us more,’ Mum said slowly. ‘As you say, it would be like a profit share scheme. I do think the council are coming around to our way of thinking. And I think the village could thrive again but…’ she turned to me. ‘It’s a lot of work, a massive project. I couldn’t do it alone, Beth.’
I nodded, relieved that she thought it could work. ‘I know. That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.’ I took a deep breath. I was uncertain how she would take the other part of my plan. Our relationship was already so much better than it had ever been, but it was still early days. ‘I’d like to move here for good with Izzy. Izzy loves it so much up here, and I think it will be great for her, for both of us. Being here means I can work with you on this project, but I’ve also been thinking about how much I’ve loved working out here again,’ I said, gesturing to the garden. ‘I’ve decided that I’d like to go back to college, too.’
‘You would?’ Mum looked a bit stunned as she tried to take in everything I had told her.
‘I want to study gardening like I always wanted to. I couldn’t just leave Izzy in the evenings if we were in London to study, but here, I have a free babysitter.’ I grinned at her. ‘Only if you’re really okay with us being here though?’ I looked at her timidly, then, crossing my fingers in the pocket of my coat and hoping that, despite the past, we could be a family once again.
Chapter Fifty-One
Mum’s face lit up, and she stopped and grabbed hold of my hands. ‘Beth, I am delighted!’ She pulled me in for a hug, something that still felt strange for us to be doing. ‘But are you really sure this is what you want?’
‘If you had told me when I came up here before Christmas that I would want to stay, I would have laughed but this just seems to make perfect sense. This feels right for me and Izzy and just seems like the best way to use what Gran has given me. Well, given us. But only if you’re on board as well? I want us to do this together.’
‘Of course I’m on board! Beth, this is something I could never have dreamed would happen either, but I feel like this is the right decision for all of us.’
‘What about Dad?’ I asked her then, biting my lip.
‘I think I have to accept that he doesn’t want to be with me any more but he will be thrilled that you’re moving up here. He’ll be cross if the council don’t accept his company’s bid, but I would hope he would be pleased for us as well.’
‘I hope so too.’ I was sad that my mum felt that their marriage was over, but I hoped that my being there for her, for both of them, would help.
‘Your father will be here soon to go to church,’ Mum said when we started walking back towards the house.
‘After that we need to plan a brilliant pitch to the council for our meeting on Monday. I could ask Heather to come over later, but I don’t know if we’ll be up to that?’
She glanced at my concerned face. ‘It’ll be okay. I mean, it’ll be hard to say goodbye to my mother, but she was suffering for a long time; it was time for her to go. And she has brought us together, so there are a lot of silver linings to all of this, aren’t there?’ She smiled at the face in the doorway of the back door as we approached it. ‘And now Sally is back, thank God.’
Sally waved at us. She hugged me tightly when we walked in, and she gave my mum a kiss on the cheek. It hadn’t felt quite the same at the Hall with Sally in London for New Year. I couldn’t wait to tell her my plans. ‘I’m so sorry for you both. Now, come into the warm, I’m making breakfast. Izzy was having cornflakes, poor thing,’ she said with a brisk shake of her head, rushing back off into the kitchen.
I smiled. Sally liked to feed everybody, and I was not sorry about it. I took off my coat and boots and went to kiss Izzy. ‘Will you have room for Sally’s bacon sandwich though?’ I asked, nodding at her bowl of cereal.
‘There’s always room for bacon, Mum,’ she replied.
‘That’s my girl.’ I looked at Izzy and hoped that she would be as excited by my idea as I felt. I wanted to get through visiting the church with my parents and then I planned to talk to her about it all. I just knew, though, that she would be thrilled: it was written all over her face how happy she was at the Hall.
‘Room for one more?’ My dad hesitated in the doorway. He was wearing a suit and tie and hovered with unease.
‘Sit down, David,’ Mum said, formally, joining Izzy at the table. She did give him a small smile though. It was hard to see my parents so estranged. They’d been together for thirty years and you got used to your parents as a unit, not always seeing them as people in their own right with their own hopes and dreams. My mum was doing really well considering everything; I was really proud of her. I knew she was putting all their problems aside so we could say goodbye to my gran but, after that, I knew it would be crunch time for the two of them.
Sally brought over to the table bacon sandwiches, juice and coffee and a basket of freshly baked pastries, and we all tucked in having missed her delicious cooking over the past few days. ‘So, did you make any New Year’s resolutions?’ Sally asked us.
Mum and I shared a look, unsure what we wanted to say about our plans just yet with my dad there with us. Dad looked equally as nervous, and the silence dragged on a little bit too long.
‘I am definitely going to eat more of these,’ Izzy broke the awkwardness, waving a muffin in the air. Sally burst out laughing, and we all joined in, relieved that the tension had been broken.
‘I think I’ll make that my resolution as well,’ I told her.
‘When do you think we’ll hear from my dad?’ she asked me then, and my smile faded a little. Drew had phoned us from the airport before his flight to say another goodbye to Izzy. I hadn’t been able to ask him anything, but he had mentioned that April was there too – so they had flown back together. What happened between them after that, I wish I knew.
‘You can phone him tonight, he will have landed by then,’ I replied, going back to my breakfast, feeling my mum’s gaze on me. I had told her what April had done. I had no idea if Drew would forgive her. I knew myself what a forgiving person he was. I was angry with April and how much she had hurt not only Drew and me but Izzy by keeping them apart even if she hadn’t known what my letter said.
But I also knew what crazy choices you could make when you loved someone. It didn’t excuse what had happened, but I could understand it. And I wanted Drew to be happy, whoever he chose. I hoped though, I wished, that he felt the same way I did, but if he didn’t then there was still so much to be grateful for. Coming back to Glendale had already changed so much, I hoped that it would continue to work its magic on us all and everything would work out in the end, one way or another.
* * *
After breakfast, Izzy stayed with Sally chatting nineteen to the dozen with her, and my parents and I drove to the village church.
It stood at the end of the high street in Glendale, it’s tall steeple visible for miles around. Gran used to make us go to Glendale church every Sunday when I was growing up, and as I became a teenager I hated it and sulked so much that in the end my mum told me I didn’t have to go any more. In London, Izzy and I had only stepped foot in one once for a wedding of a colleague.
I had grown up believing I’d get married in that church, though, fantasising when I was with Drew that one day I’d walk down the aisle in my white dress to him at the altar. But I’d stopped daydreaming about getting married a long time ago. There hadn’t been anyone special enough in my life. And, if I was br
utally honest with myself, I hadn’t believed that anyone could capture my heart as Drew had. And seeing him again had only confirmed the truth – I had never really got over him to begin with.
The minister welcomed us warmly. Despite the reason we were there, I was taken aback by how young and good-looking he was. Certainly nothing like the minister we had when I was growing up, who had passed away. The Reverend told us to call him Brodie and shook our hands and said how sorry he was that my grandmother had gone. ‘Mrs MacKenzie was a real character,’ he said with a slight grin. I could well imagine her surprise at him taking over Glendale and was certain she had given him a hard time. But she had continued to go to church until she had become too ill, and I knew he’d visited Gran a couple of weeks before she died, so he must have won her over in the end.
Mum and Dad sat with him in a pew to look over hymns, but I got up and walked over to the altar. I really had no clue about hymns or readings but wanted to be there for moral support. I stopped by the candles that people lit for loved ones. My grandfather had been the only death that I had had to deal with when I was younger. We had never been all that close. Like my dad, he had often been an absent figure from the Hall, working a lot and leaving my gran and mum to run the house and attempt to run me. I thought then about how generations often seemed to do exactly as their parents had. My grandparents had just one daughter, as did my parents and then me, too; although I was a teenager, and out of wedlock, so at least I was doing it my way I supposed.
Picking up a tea light, I struck a match, setting the wick alight with a steady flame, and added it to the row of lit candles. I wasn’t sure that I had any kind of faith, but Gran had so it felt like the right thing to do. ‘Thank you, Gran,’ I whispered into the quiet church. She had guided me home after all and was giving me the chance to change my life. Despite what had happened between us, I was grateful to her for that. I’d had to find my own way in the world away from my often-oppressive family and all the comfortable trappings of Glendale Hall. I was a survivor. I was independent. I was a good mother. All the things that maybe I wouldn’t have been if I had stayed with my family ten years before.
But now, I was ready to come back home.
‘Would you like to say something?’ Dad asked me then after calling out my name. ‘Margaret picked out a couple of Bible passages in her will that she wanted to be read. What about this one?’ He showed me the passage in the Bible.
It was, of course, about the power of forgiveness.
I allowed myself a small smile. Gran had been consumed with thoughts of forgiveness, and regret, in her final days. She’d asked for my forgiveness, and I had given it to her. I thought of Drew again. He had told me that he forgave me for not telling him that I was pregnant with Izzy all those years ago. He had told me that I needed to forgive myself for it, too. And now it felt like Gran, too, was telling me to do that.
I nodded. ‘I’ll read this one,’ I told them. And I felt myself let go of the past. It didn’t matter any more. It had happened. We couldn’t change that. And it had made us who we were.
What really mattered was what we were going to do next.
Chapter Fifty-Two
When we came out of the church after organising the service, the light seemed bright compared to the dimness inside. I saw a familiar figure walking towards the library and called out his name. ‘Rory!’
My parents continued walking towards the car, but I changed direction to meet up with him. ‘Hey,’ I said.
‘Hi, Beth,’ Rory said. ‘I’m sorry about your grandmother.’
‘Thanks. We just came from church organising the funeral.’
‘Drew’s coming back for it, isn’t he?’
I nodded, dying to know if he’d heard from him. ‘That was the plan.’
Rory glanced towards the library. ‘Have you heard from Heather?’
‘She’s coming over later. Are you going in to see her?’
‘Ah. Yeah, I was hoping to see her. Maybe take her out to lunch but I don’t know…’
‘I’m sure she’d love to,’ I said, encouragingly. I knew that Heather hadn’t heard from him since they’d slept together at new year. ‘Why do you look so unsure?’ I pressed, hoping to help one couple get together at least.
Rory sighed. ‘I’m just hopeless at all this. And, I don’t know, I always thought she thought I was just this annoying guy who always took the piss out of her. Hogmanay was great, but she left in a hurry the next day. I guess I assumed she thought it was just a drunken mistake, you know?’
I wondered how many issues in relationships came down to miss or lack of communication: ninety-nine per cent, I imagined. ‘You should just talk to her, Rory. Trust me.’ I gave him a reassuring smile.
He looked relieved. ‘Okay, I will.’
‘Have you heard from Drew yet?’ I asked in what I hoped was a casual way.
‘Only a text to say his flight had landed.’
‘Right. Izzy will call him later then.’
‘He’s really going to miss her. He told me I had to keep an eye on you both.’
‘Well, you might find that easier than you thought as I think we might be sticking around Glendale.’
Rory raised an eyebrow. ‘Uh-oh, Beth Williams, is coming back for good? Run and hide people,’ he said, looking around and pretending to warn the village.
‘Can I remind you who used to win in all our arm-wrestling contests back in the day?’ I said, pretending to lurch towards him.
He backed up, hands raised in defence. ‘Okay, okay, I’m sorry!’
‘Just sort things out with Heather, and we’ll be fine,’ I called out after him, only half-joking. After all, he had warned me about Drew, so it was only fair I did the same. He grinned, and gave me a wave over his shoulder. I shook my head and turned to catch up with my parents, hoping that he and Heather would make a go of it. I had a good feeling about them.
I just wished that I had the same feeling about my own love life.
* * *
When we got back to the Hall, Dad left us again for his hotel. I looked at Mum watching him drive off through the window. ‘Do you want him to come back?’ I asked her.
‘I appreciated his support today. He’ll always be in my life, and I want him to be, but he’s chosen her, Beth. And I have to move on from that,’ she replied turning away. ‘I never thought I’d survive on my own, but I know now I’ll be fine. I don’t want us to stay together just because he feels he has to stay. I suppose, even at my age I still want to be loved.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with that,’ I told her, fiercely.
‘And what about you?’ she asked, arching an eyebrow.
‘I have a lot on my plate right now, I don’t need to add a new relationship to it as well,’ I said, lightly.
Mum didn’t buy that though. ‘You should still tell Drew how you feel. Even if he is working things out with April. Don’t regret not saying something. Don’t torture yourself with what ifs; Lord knows I have done that a few times.’
‘Really? About what?’
‘I have to have some secrets from my daughter.’ She patted my shoulder as she brushed past me.
‘Mum!’ Izzy appeared in the hall. ‘You’re back! Come and see what we made.’ She dragged me by the arm, laughing, and I followed her into the kitchen. Mum ducked out into the garden. I wondered what she had meant by her having her own regrets and ‘what ifs’. I wondered if there was anything that could be done about them. She deserved to have what she wanted.
‘Look,’ Izzy said when we were in the kitchen. She proudly gestured to the large pot of delicious-smelling curry on the cooker. ‘I helped make it.’
‘It smells amazing,’ I said, smiling at Sally who gave it a stir. ‘You’re really enjoying all this cooking, aren’t you?’
‘It’s fun,’ Izzy said. ‘Sally has taught me loads, so when we go back to London we won’t have to eat as many takeaways.’
‘Hey, my cooking isn’t that bad,’ I said, r
uffling her hair.
‘She’s been telling me a few things that have made me very worried for your health down there,’ Sally said. She glanced at me. ‘How was the church?’
‘It was okay. Mum and Dad pretty much sorted it all out, but I said that I’ll do a reading. I’ve never said anything at a funeral before.’
‘That’s good of you,’ Sally said. ‘Iz, please pass me some salt, will you?’
I watched Izzy rush to the cupboard and hand it to Sally, and I smiled at how much fun she seemed to be having. ‘How was London?’ I asked Sally, leaning against the counter.
‘Emily threw a great party as always. She misses you guys but she’s happy that you’re having a great time up here. She said she’ll call you. We had afternoon tea in Harrods, which was fun, but London is so packed I was quite happy to see the countryside again. I wish she’d come up here,’ Sally said.
‘We’ll see her soon though, Mum, won’t we?’ Izzy said, leaning next to me. She frowned a little. ‘It’s so weird to think about going back there.’
I smiled. ‘Well, actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. Go and grab your coat and shoes, I need to show you something outside, okay?’ Izzy gave me a curious look but went off upstairs to get her things. ‘Did Mum tell you about my inheritance?’ I asked Sally when we were alone.
Coming Home to Glendale Hall Page 26
