‘I knew about it,’ Sally replied. Sally knew everything that went on at the Hall, so I wasn’t surprised. ‘You know what you’re going to do with it?’
‘I do. If Izzy is okay with it. You wouldn’t mind if we became a permanent fixture around here, would you?’
She smiled. ‘It only took you ten years, eh?’ She gave me a swift, tight hug. ‘It’s the right thing for you both.’
‘Thanks, Sally. As long as you promise not to go anywhere, then we’ll be fine.’
‘Don’t worry, I know how much more I’ll be needed with you two causing chaos around here.’
I chuckled, knowing she was probably right.
‘Ready!’ Izzy reappeared, wrapped up, so I pushed open the back door and led her outside into the garden.
‘I only just remembered this last night. I was thinking about when I was your age, living here,’ I said as we walked down the lawn towards the trees. ‘This garden and the house felt like my castle.’
‘I can’t imagine you thinking you were a princess,’ she replied.
I smiled. ‘Not quite, no,’ I replied. Izzy knew I was a tomboy growing up, much preferring climbing trees to sitting with my mum in a dress drinking tea, which constantly disappointed her back then. ‘But I felt like all of this belonged to me and I wanted to leave my mark on it. Then, one day, I found this tree and realised that I wasn’t the first person growing up here to feel that way.’
I steered us towards a towering oak tree. I looked up at it and so did Izzy. It was huge and ancient. Standing there well before any of us, and it hopefully would keep on standing long past us, too. Walking around the thick trunk, I found what I was looking for and pointed to it. ‘Look there,’ I said. Izzy stepped over to look at the carvings. There were three sets of initials carved into the trunk.
MM
CW
BW
‘Was this you?’ Izzy asked, tracing her fingers over the final set of initials.
‘Yes. That’s your great-gran, MM for Margaret MacKenzie, then granny, CW for Caroline Williams, and then me. All three of us grew up here, and we carved our names into the tree. How would you like to do the same?’
Izzy turned to look at me. ‘What do you mean? Carve my name or…?’ she let her question hang in the air.
‘Both. But only if you want to.’
‘You want us to stay here?’ Her voice had turned a little squeaky, which it always did when she was excited or shocked. I wasn’t sure which she was right then. Likely both. Same as me.
‘I do. I think it’s the right thing for us. I know how much you love it here, and it means we can be here for granny. I can find a new job; I might even go back to studying. Maybe even try gardening, which you know I always wanted to do.’
‘What about money?’ Izzy asked, instantly anxious. I hoped she would be able to worry less about things soon.
‘Your great-gran left us money in her will. We don’t have to worry about money any more. And there’s more – she also left us Glendale Hall.’
Izzy turned to look back at the house, her eyes wide. ‘This is all ours? Really?’
‘Really. But we can go back to London if that’s what you want. I want us both to be happy. What do you think? Should we stay?’
‘Yes, please! I love it here,’ she replied, grabbing me and giving me a tight hug. Relief washed over me seeing how excited she was. It was definitely the right decision for all of us.
‘In that case…’ I took out the wood carving knife I’d borrowed from John from my pocket. I helped Izzy carve her initials below the others on the tree.
‘Now I’ve left my mark here too,’ Izzy said, standing back to look at her name under mine.
‘That’s right,’ I replied, feeling a little emotional at seeing her name there and wondering if one day her child would add theirs too. I wrapped an arm around her waist.
‘You know what this house has been missing all these years?’ Izzy asked then, looking at me.
‘What’s that?’
‘A library.’
I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head. ‘Come on, let’s see if Sally will let us taste her curry.’
I glanced behind us as we started to walk back to the house, and I saw my mum walking through the trees towards John’s cottage.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Heather looked fit to burst when I let her into the Hall. ‘You’ll never guess what happened?!’ she said, grabbing my arm as the door shut behind her, her hair bouncing along with her excitement.
‘No, what?’ I replied with a smile.
‘I’ve just had lunch with Rory. He told me he thought that I thought what happened between us was a huge mistake. So, I said ‘yeah, I’m pretty much sure that it was but I liked it anyway’.’
‘You didn’t?’ I shook my head, wishing I could be as honest as Heather.
She grinned. ‘Yep. And he said that I’ve annoyed him for years and could I please never stop annoying him? I said okay, so we’re having dinner this weekend.’
‘I actually don’t know what to say to that,’ I said, leading her into the kitchen. ‘But if you’re happy then I’m happy.’
‘I mean, I never thought that Rory and I would actually happen, but he makes me laugh, and that should never be underestimated, even if he is a little short.’ She looked at me seriously for a moment. ‘But you don’t mind, do you? About us? About the fact he’s Drew’s brother? Because if you do…’
I held up a hand to silence her. ‘Why would I mind? It means Izzy will get to see more of her uncle.’
‘And her dad too, maybe, if Drew takes that job here.’ Heather gave me a sly look.
‘It’s a big if; and if he does, April might still come with him.’
‘Surely after what she did, he’d be coming over here alone,’ Heather said in a low voice as we approached the kitchen where Mum, Sally and Izzy were. ‘Can you imagine if you two got back together and me and Rory were a couple.’ She looked a little starry-eyed.
‘You need to pull yourself together,’ I told her, but I couldn’t help secretly wishing that as well.
Heather looked a little sulky as she said hello to the others, pouting that I had shut down her happy-ever-after fantasy. But when Mum and I told her our plan, and when she found that Izzy and I were planning to move back to Glendale, she let out a shriek of excitement that shattered all of our eardrums.
* * *
Izzy and I Skyped with Drew that evening. Izzy was bursting to tell him our news. She hadn’t stopped smiling all day, confirming that I had made the right decision in planning to move us to Glendale. Everyone was excited. It was hard to feel glum with everyone talking about our plans, but I was nervous to see and speak to Drew again.
When the call connected, the two of them both started speaking at once. I stared at the laptop, wishing my body didn’t react so obviously to him. My pulse sped up straight away, and my cheeks grew warm. His smile and auburn hair in a mess around his face were both welcoming and painful in their familiarity. ‘Hey, guys,’ he said, the American twang to his voice sounding stronger now that he was back in Boston again. ‘How are things over there?’
‘We have the best news!’ Izzy cried, bouncing in her seat.
‘Oh, yeah?’
‘We’re moving to Glendale!’ she cried, a wide smile on her face.
Drew grinned. ‘Really?’ He looked at me. ‘That’s amazing.’
‘I’ve been thinking a lot about it after finding out what was in Gran’s will. Izzy loves it up here and it means I could go back to school and study gardening, and we get to be with family. We are also going to try and use her money to buy the shops on the high street from the council ourselves.’
‘Wow, you are really changing your lives,’ Drew said, shaking his head in wonder. ‘That’s so great. You both look really happy.’ I wasn’t sure if I imagined a flash of pain in his eyes. ‘I’m really pleased.’
‘I can’t wait,’ Izzy declared.
‘H
ow are you though?’ I asked him, anxiously. I tried to see if there were any traces of April in his living room, but I couldn’t see anything beyond a sofa, and picture of a beach hanging up behind him.
‘I’m fine, just a bit tired from the flight. I’m back at the hospital in a couple of hours. I found someone to swap shifts with so I can take a couple of days off to come back to the funeral.’
‘Are you sure? Drew, it’s such a long way for you to come…’ Selfishly, I wanted him there, but he was so far away I understood if he couldn’t come back.
‘It’s good timing, actually, as I need to book in a meeting in Inverness at the same time.’ He glanced at me and I knew he was talking about his potential new job, and hope retuned to my heart again.
‘Oh, that’s healthy, doctor,’ I replied with a laugh. ‘It will be good to see you,’ I said, unable to stop myself. ‘And is everything okay apart from that?’ I asked.
Drew sighed. ‘It’s getting there,’ he replied, ambiguously. ‘So, Iz, I finished book two on the flight, so I’m starting book three now,’ he said, changing the subject neatly.
‘That one is my favourite,’ Izzy replied, enthusiastically. I listened to them talk about Harry Potter for a few moments, wishing I knew what was happening with April.
‘I’ll have to go soon,’ Drew said then, regretfully. He looked at me. ‘Do you need me to do anything to help, with the funeral, or anything?’
‘No. But thank you. It’s enough that you’re coming to be with us.’
‘I’ve known Mrs MacKenzie all my life, of course I wanted to be there. But, mostly, I want to support you guys. How is your mum doing?’
‘It’s not going to be an easy day.’
‘She has you guys, which will help a lot.’
I nodded. ‘Have you heard from your brother, by the way?’ I asked then with a smile.
‘No, he’s hopeless at staying in touch. Why?’
‘I think he and Heather have finally got together. They both seem pretty smitten.’
‘What’s smitten?’ Izzy asked me.
‘They like each other a lot,’ I told her.
‘Ew – gross,’ she replied.
Drew chuckled. ‘Well, it’s about time – he’s always had a soft spot for her, and I thought something was going on at Hogmanay. I’ll text him after this. Right, I better go and get ready for work now. It was good to talk to you both. And I’ll see you soon. Okay?’
‘I miss you,’ Izzy said.
‘I miss you, too. I love you, Iz.’
‘Love you, too!’
‘Have a good day at work,’ I said, touched by their goodbye. I ended the call and looked at Izzy beside me. ‘You okay, my love?’ I pulled her to me and stroked her hair. ‘He’ll be back with us soon.’
‘I hate that he’s so far away now,’ she admitted, cuddling up to me.
‘I know but he won’t be away for long.’
‘This time,’ she replied.
I really hoped that Drew would decide to take the job in Scotland, for Izzy’s sake. I just wished that I knew if he’d be moving here alone. I wondered if my mum was right and I should tell him how I felt, but surely if he had chosen to stay with April then there would be no point? It would just make things awkward between us, and we needed to be okay for Izzy’s sake. I wished the universe would give me a sign to tell me what to do.
‘How long before we can move up here?’ Izzy asked, breaking into my thoughts.
‘Well, we will have to go back to London for a bit after the funeral, you know that, right? I need to sort out work and a new school for you, and we need to pack up the flat and tell the landlord we’re going.’ It was strange because it felt as if we already belonged in Glendale, but we had to say goodbye to our old life first. ‘But as soon as possible, I promise.’
Izzy smiled. ‘Good.’
Chapter Fifty-Four
Mum and I tentatively opened the door to what had been Gran’s room. After all, it had been hers for her whole life, so it felt strange to be going in there without her. Like she might burst in at any moment to demand a reason for us being there.
‘She requested that she be buried with her pearls,’ Mum said as we went in. ‘I don’t remember a day before she got sick that she didn’t have them on.’ She walked over to Gran’s dressing table.
‘I used to think that if Gran took them off, it meant that the world was going to end,’ I agreed with a shake of my head. It was fitting that she should have them with her, even though I found it morbid to think about what she’d be wearing when she was buried. I perched on the made bed, all traces that she was in it for so long already removed, watching Mum as she opened up the jewellery box and carefully took the pearl necklace out, letting it slide through her fingers.
‘She always said that they would lose their lustre if you didn’t wear them regularly.’ Mum looked around the room. ‘I suppose we need to sort all her things out. Decide if there’s anything we want to keep.’
‘There’s no rush. We can wait until you’re ready,’ I replied, gently. We lapsed into a short silence.
‘I’m sorry,’ Mum said then. ‘If I was too hard on you when you were growing up.’ She came to perch on the bed next to me, draping the necklace across her lap. ‘I know that I was strict and you thought that meant that I didn’t care, but I was raised to think about how the world saw me and was expected to live up to that. I thought that you should go to university just because it would be something I could tell everyone we knew about, not because I really thought you should have a career. I suppose I just expected you to get married and have a family like I did. I thought that all the times you pushed back against what I wanted was because you wanted to spite me, not because you wanted independence. I suppose I tried to make you just like me, and I think that’s what my mother tried to do, too. We didn’t give you the chance to bloom. To be your own person. And I know that I can’t blame my mother for pushing you away all by herself. If we had been closer in the first place then you would have told me about the baby yourself; you wouldn’t have just believed your grandmother when she told you what I thought about it.’ Mum shook her head. ‘You left because we weren’t a supportive family, we weren’t… loving. I see the way you are with Isabelle, and I do wish I could have been more like that with you. But it just wasn’t in my nature, I suppose. It wasn’t how I was brought up, and I couldn’t see that I should have tried harder to be the mother you needed, not the mother I thought I was supposed to be.’ Mum looked down at the necklace and sighed. ‘I suppose I just wanted to tell you that I’m so grateful you’re giving me a second chance. That you’re coming back here. I know that I can’t erase the past but perhaps I can try to make things up to you? If you’ll let me?’ She turned to me then, hope and unshed tears in her eyes.
A lump rose up in my throat. ‘I didn’t make things easy either,’ I assured her. ‘I wasn’t very good at telling you how I felt. I thought that I had to fight back when I should have just tried to talk to you. Now I’m a mother, I know how tough it can be, and it was tougher because you had Gran here with her opinions on everything, plus my dad wasn’t around to support you. But we have a second chance now so let’s embrace it. And this time, let’s talk about things before they get to the point where one of us walks out.’ I smiled, and she snorted at my poor joke. ‘And, you know, it’s my house, so my rules,’ I added, nudging her with my shoulder. It was the argument that my family had used on me countless times in the past.
Mum shook her head. ‘I don’t know what we have let ourselves in for,’ she said but she smiled back at me.
* * *
It was a gloriously crisp and sunny morning, so I cried off a trip to the shops with Mum and Izzy and headed into the garden instead. I felt calmer than I had for a long time because I knew what we were going to do. I hadn’t realised how restless I had been for so long, running around trying to do everything, desperately trying not to have time to sit on my own and think about my life and how it wasn’
t shaping up to be what I had wanted it to be. Izzy had been the only bright point in it really.
But I was letting myself breathe again. It wasn’t easy, it scared me a little, but I knew that it was what I needed to do. Moving back home would be a gigantic step but it didn’t feel like a backwards one: it felt that for the first time in a long time, I was actually moving forwards and not just going around in circles.
I saw John was in the greenhouse so I walked over and let myself into the warmth. ‘Do you think I can do it?’ I asked him with no preamble. He looked up from the plant he was re-potting, one eyebrow raised, so I explained what I meant. ‘Gardening, I mean. Going back to college, studying again, starting all over.’
‘Well, of course you can. Gardening is in your blood, like mine. I remember when I first came to work here – you were only six and always running around the grounds, to your mother’s despair most of the time.’ He shook his head with a smile. ‘You were always begging to help me out here. Passion is all you need to succeed, Beth. I think I read that somewhere once.’
‘I let go of my passion for a long time.’ I kicked at the ground with my boot. ‘I pushed it down, I think, just focused on what I needed to do to survive, didn’t let myself think about it. But it’s like it’s suddenly come alive again. Like a plant, I guess, blooming again after a long winter.’
‘What’s worrying you then?’
I had always appreciated how direct John was. No need to say ten words when two would do. ‘That I’m not good enough maybe.’
‘If you’re not good enough, you just work harder and then you will be. The trail was pretty damn good if you ask me.’
I smiled. ‘I suppose change is exciting and terrifying.’
‘You did it once before and that turned out pretty good.’
‘What about you? Have you always followed your passion?’
He thought about that for a moment. ‘When I was able to then yes.’
I hesitated but then I turned towards him. ‘John, is there something between you and my mum?’
Coming Home to Glendale Hall Page 27
