Avalon Expandable Heart: The Wild Heart Series

by Shantelle McKinnon

  My nose crinkles as I sniff at myself, I stink. Frank or the dogs, most likely, must have rolled in something in that horrid, slimy stage of death and transferred every last rank filled cell to me. Bugger it, a quick dip in the trough, and I’ll be fresh as a daisy, and the added bonus is Sam was in this one earlier so can’t say a damn word.

  I strip off my clothes and slide into the trough, glad that I scrubbed it the other day and roughness of the cement itself greets me and not its slime attire from before. What was Sam complaining about?

  It’s moan-worthy. I lie there longer than I anticipated and listen contentedly as the boys finally roll to a halt. I position my head on my arms hanging over the edge of the trough to see how it all went. I hope Noah survived the ordeal. He better have.

  A car door clicks open softly; Nathan’s voice filters out as he alights. “… I tell you, flirting will not only double your base but will halve their result time. It’s win-win.”

  “There’s no fucking way I’m sleeping with old chicks!” Sam grinds out, horrified. “Not even for ten million bucks! I’d never recover!”

  What in the world?

  “Just close your eyes,” Nat advises jokingly.

  “Piss off! Even if I did that, I would still feel their… their oldness!” Sam exclaims. “I wouldn’t be able to even get it up.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t be listening, gross.

  “Hey, well, maybe you get to a certain point and then let Noah take over, he doesn’t mind getting jiggy with the old girls,” The grin in Nat’s voice is unmistakable. I don’t hear the reply that makes Nat cackle delightedly.

  He turns back to Sam who has pushed his way out, “You don’t have to sleep with people you flirt with, dickhead.”

  “Yeah, seriously, I don’t know if I can pretend even that much,” I feel Sam wince in the dark. It’s the kind of cringe that I imagine takes over his whole body like a giant worm shiver. I wonder if Noah is wincing from his mouth to mouth hospital memory. He better not wince at the other memory. That was very noice.

  “Dude, anyone can flirt with anyone,” Nathan moves out of the way, letting Chops emerge from behind the seat, his huge figure blocks out the dash light’s glow. When he’s taken a few steps, I find Noah illuminated softly on the other side of the car. Everything about him screams exhaustion. I wonder what happened at the cemetery.

  Sam laughs suddenly. I don’t like the sound behind it.

  “What?” I can hear the frown in Nat’s voice, echoing the one on my face. “It’s true, it’s just in your eyes, those ladies will have something to muck with. Get over yourself.” Yeah, get over yourself.

  “I’m not laughing at them,” Sam replies smugly, “I’m just remembering a time in which I’m damn sure your little sister was attempting to be sexy. Well, I think she was, it was hard to choose between that or she really was constipated. I went with the first due to context.”

  I refrain from growling. I was not that bad. Noah’s eyes narrow.

  “Oh gawd,” Nathan scratches out in a forlorn tone. “Don’t enlighten me. But, hey, I have faith that she could do it if the need were dire enough; like I was lying there fatally wounded and required her to lure a guy closer to extract his blood or heart or something... what’s your blood group again Noah…”

  “Fuck. Off. Positive,” comes the short response. I smother a laugh. Ooohhh, someone’s grouchy. But hell, he looks so good, the way that soft yellow light plays along his face. Man, I hate becoming a teenage girl.

  “Err,” hedges Sam, clearly not seeing my potential. “I wouldn’t hold my breath. In fact, I bet you fifty bucks that Av can’t pull off sexy when she actually means to.”

  “Done,” Nathan replies instantly.

  “Hold on.” Sam raps on the top of my monster’s car, I’m guessing shocked at the conviction and response time of Nat’s reply. Take that, Sam! “Can she or what, Noah?”

  In the dim light, I see Noah grin for just a second, it lights up his whole face, and I practically start to boil the water, that bloody octopus. I know exactly what moment he’s thinking about, at the camp after the fake breakout. Where he literally asked me what I was doing.

  “She doesn’t need to, and God help us all if she learns to,” he says in very Angus-about-Dell type of voice. Unexpectedly, I feel the need to acquire skills in this flirting business. It does indeed sound like it could be rather fun-filled on my end.

  “I’m going to be worse than bloody Avalon doing whatever he just remembered, and I don’t think they’ll believe it anyway. That fricken Sparkly Cupcake skeleton has a better chance of acting up to them than I do,” Sam kicks at the dirt. Outlaw probably did. Sam and his hang-ups about body parts. It’s actually a good idea because maybe he’ll start seeing through looks and discover what amazing fireworks are contained inside people.

  “Watch it.” Nat reminds him to tread carefully around my ponies. He must like Sam. “But yeah, he would because he doesn’t give a shit about what people look like.” Nathan, I know, is crossing his arms. Noah shuts the door and my heart beats funny, hoping that means he’s staying. I wave my hands in the darkness hoping he’ll sense me. I’m pretty sure the tentacles just orchestrated that.

  “Bloody hell.” Resignation saturates Sam’s curse. “I know you reckon that it will help my business, but I don’t see how,” even I can hear the accompanying sigh. Giving in, Sammie Bear!

  “Because you could call it, ‘Cougar Vertical and Horizontal Workouts’,” Nat sniggers.

  Something is thrown.

  “Because they will have fun, Dork! Hard work never feels hard when it’s fun. And you’ll get them to remember what flirting and having that type of amusement feels like, how to get that sexy back and they will love it and tell their friends why they are so happy and smiling more and shit. They will also be more confident which gets results quicker because they like their new confidence… it will filter right through to diet. You just have to light those pilot lights, Sammie. It’s power!”

  “Light those pilot lights? Power? You and your sister… for fuck sake, I swear the stuff you guys come up with…” Sam utters exasperatedly.

  “Yet here you are, stalking around cemeteries with moi in the dark of night. We are incredibly awesome though; I won’t deny that whole thing could be intimidating or hold your dripping envy against you. Anyway, as a higher being, I will bless you with my presence and guidance and will demonstrate in the next sesh you have with them.”

  Unless they hit a secret lady library as well as the cemetery I’m mystified by how and when Nathan gained this much knowledge on middle-aged women and the ripples flirting makes in their lives, then again, Nat does possess a knack at motivating people in training, maybe he’s applied the same principles to this sitch. I bet that matron would do anything he asked! The whole pilot light thing, however, I do get. That’s one of Nan’s sayings – that all people are ready to be fired up, you just got to know how and just what to use. And fire is power if you can wield it.

  “But you won’t be here,” Sam mopes as he leans against the car. Noah steps around to the front of the car, his gaze trying to sweep away the darkness in Frank’s paddock, searching. I wave again and debate just standing up. I’m positive parts of me would glow white. Avalon!

  I sure don’t want Nat to go. There is nothing I would love more than for him to stay. Well, maybe, Noah tickling my arm as I lay here. That would be heaven. And the death of my mind and body controlling octopus that is devilishly allowing little ideas and sensations to bloom like a naughty hobbit has found Gandalf’s factory of fireworks and going for broke letting them spark and burst in my body. I struggle to ignore the little bugger.

  Nat scoffs, “Please, I’m not going until Av goes,” a grin splits my face at war with the Uh-oh feeling that swirls in my stomach. Dad will go ape.

  “But your Pop said you’re only here for this week,” Sam sounds like he’s trying desperately to hold his hope at bay.

  “Dad won’t set foot in
the city, so really, the only other person that could make me leave is Harry, and I’m damn confident after he sees me and Av work that he will be happy for me to stay on. I am twenty-four, Sam,” he adds wryly. Doesn’t mean anything to Dad. I feel sorry for Pop as he will be shoved in the middle of this but wow, is the most awesome chance for me and Nat to let loose before we set in at home or what?

  “Not in the head,” Sam mutters. I’m wondering where Sam’s new capacity to talk has come from, maybe whatever they got up to at the cemetery thing provided an adrenaline rush or something. Or maybe he feels free away from Seth’s umbrella of a personality?

  “I hope he never will be either,” Chops adds.

  “Will being away from home affect you like it does Av?” Noah asks softly. I swallow not realising how strongly I must broadcast my homesickness, not that I’m feeling it now. That acidic hand that grasped my heart like King Kong with the last banana on Earth is all but disintegrated. I miss them but it doesn’t cause physical pain now.

  Nathan takes a moment before answering, I can sense the anger that exudes from him for a full few seconds. “There’s home, and there’s home,” he states like it sums up everything and all the guys peering at him in the darkness should understand it. Chops does: he breathes out his agreement. “I felt exactly like she did when she was away. It’s better for everyone when we are together.” Heat dabbles at the back of my eyes.

  “Pop is gonna go nuts,” I grin from my trough causing everyone to jump, someone stumbles, Sam curses, “but, so are we!” I fling some water into the dark for emphasis. They move to the fence line. “And I just got the best idea for the next Naked Chef! Salt and Pepper!” I grin. Nat’s white teeth flash in return, it’s totally us. Partners. Always.

  “And now you’re awake?” Sam whimpers. “In case you’re wondering, Avz, that’s not sanitary for bathing in,” he pings the fence. “See? Believe me, zero interest. God, look at her in there,” he groans in Noah’s direction.

  “I’m really trying not to,” he replies lowly with amusement.

  “You were in here,” I flick water at Sam, some must go in his mouth because he freaks outs and chokes for a few seconds. Noah goes to shimmy through the fence. “Don’t,” I warn knowing full well my beast of a bull is lurking only metres away. “Frank is prowling… ready.” Noah gulps and beckons to me to get out.

  “Can I have your shirt?” I ask. “Mine reeks.”

  “Finally, her nose works,” Sam scoffs.

  Noah pulls off his shirt and throws it to me. It lands without me even raising a hand to grab it, the stupid octopus is governing my eyes. Those muscles.

  “Turn around,” Nat demands, whacking Sam and Noah across the back of their heads. I lean over and grab the soft, grey material, stand and pull it over my head, smoothing it down my wet body. God, I love the smell of him.

  “All good,” I say as I step out of the trough, gather my clothes and hop through the wire straight into Noah’s side. His arm snakes around me, and he inhales deeply.

  “Liar! Nothing will be ‘All good’ for us lot again,” Sam grunts. “Just the thought of you guys ‘going nuts’ is making us all shit our pants.” Sam definitely has let go of any barriers stopping him talking. I’ve never even heard him like this, definitely not with Seth. Maybe it was getting naked in front of everyone that has him letting his real-self hang out.

  Noah chuckles and twirls my damp hair into one big strand. I shiver.

  “I’ll buy you a pack of man nappies in preparation,” Nat slaps Sam on the chest. He waggles dark brows at me, “Pop, the sly dog, has his eye on one of those ladies from the Hostel,” I raise my eyebrow, say what now? “He’ll want to stay just as long as we do, we just have to plan it.”

  “I’m exhausted,” Noah whispers wearily as we slide into my bed. Alby and Mangles circle for a few minutes at our feet before finally getting comfortable over my legs already tangled in Noah’s. Nat’s in the stable with Chops. Sam’s on the lounge.

  “That’s great because I have discovered you are more pliable to my manhandling when you’re buggered,” I snicker sidling along his body and resting my head on his chest.

  “That fruit thing was bad,” Noah yawns ignoring my playfulness, “but the cemetery… hell… your Pop was… right about… aging years… in… weeks…” his voice plummets and restarts.

  My monster is almost on the verge of sleep, and I’m happy to snuggle with him. His breathing evens out.

  “Least you came home from there, I half thought Nat might have had a practice run using your still breathing but badly wounded body for a prop. I was going to slip a bell into your pocket, just in case.” I’m not really joking; it literally did cross my mind when we were planning it. But Nat had been different with Noah all evening. I’m thinking now that he has voiced his plans to stay it may have something to do with just going with the flow and enjoying it since he believes he’s around to oversee anything that might go wrong. And knowing he felt that acidic hand just as much as I did might just mean that he is happy to be around me no matter the obstacles, I would be if the situation were reversed.

  “He probably would have if he didn’t hit me with the talk earlier,” Noah yawns against my hair and one of his hands comes up to twirl a strand of my hair. I shiver, again. How can I love that this much? My hand carefully slides over his bare abs, I feel him tense but take a deeper breath, at least he doesn’t flinch.

  “What talk?” a shard of a strange feeling spears to the bottom of my abdominal region when I digest what he said.

  “He said basically if I fear you; I have to leave you. Your Pop said if I no longer think you’re good is good; I have to leave you,” he shakes his head stifling another yawn. “I don’t get any of it, I said yes to both of them just because I can’t ever see either happening.” He yawns.

  I’m silent. I can see it. If it happened to Nathan; it can happen to me. And if it hurt Nathan, the way I’m beginning to feel about Noah, it will crush me. And unfortunately, if I have to be honest, Noah doesn’t know the real me; I’m only learning about parts of me as well, but I do know I’m not the same as he is, not in the whole monster sense, which is what I’m positive Nat was referring to without actually saying it. I haven’t grown or acquired a monster to protect me from something terrible that happened in my life. I’ve been playing with the idea for a while now, especially since I’ve been here and interacted with kids my own age, the idea that I was born fused with mine. It was already there when my mother tried to rid the world of me. It was in the hospital that the thought hit me that maybe, just maybe, my mother saw it, and was trying to get purge it, but to succeed she had to get eradicate me altogether. I doubt it, but sometimes it’s nice to make up stuff deflecting the full aim of that night. That night of the bonfire when I talked to Noah, I was relating the old way I felt, and I remember as I thought through it later it felt wrong for me in the place that I am now.

  “You okay?” Noah moves his hand down my arm pulling me closer. He tilts his head as if he can see me in the dark. “There’s no way on Earth I’d be scared of you, Av.” He chuckles and kisses my hair. “Nathan, yes. You, no.”

  Nat and I are pretty much mirrors of each other, just in different gender forms. It’s why we get on super when we do and almost kill each other when we don’t. There are too many thoughts in my head to voice coherently. I’m not sure what exactly is getting to me, I had come to terms with all that. I didn’t really have a problem with it, even when the idea started to flitter and form in my mind. And when it only recently became fully corporeal, I just knew it for a fact. Accepted it. I accept me. All parts… except for the octopus… and the random hobbit infestation.

  Noah sits up and turns his phone on, highlighting both our faces. Concern mars his beautiful visage. My heart does a silly beat at the bare skin of his stomach and chest. “Av, seriously, it won’t happen. Please don’t stress about it. It was probably something they thought they should do.”

  My eyes rove o
ver his face, the face that has changed so much, from empty and cold to … loving. Hold the phone. Does Noah love me? Well, blow Mum down and belt her with a mannequin’s arm at this turn up maybe appearing on the cards. I have been known to read people incorrectly before.

  “Fuck,” he growls, and I snap out of imagining beating mum up with that arm. “Now I feel sorry for everyone I didn’t talk to. It’s torturous not knowing. Please, what are you thinking?”

  I sit up too and position myself across from him, our knees touching, the dogs only prick their ears in case we look like we are going outside. I feel the shirt sticking to my chest where I’m still wet. My octopus cottons on the fact at the same second. No! Don’t react there! I refrain from crossing my arms over my chest.

  Truth is, I am extremely capable of causing him to fear me, but it’s not because I could skin someone alive without a single bat of an eyelid or dig up a grave while chewing beef jerky but because I want him. Like really want him, like pull off this only piece of clothing I have on want to be against him. And that is what is scaring me… I have always said I will never want any of that jiggy jiggy until I find someone that is it for me. How’s this for another blow me down turn-up? I’m alarming myself speechless! Will definitely never judge anyone again.

  “Thornie, seriously,” he starts, his body tensing to define his muscles even more. Great. “I just went and helped find the graves – in a goddamn zombie suit, moaning like an elderly woman stuck in a sewer pipe – because you want to dig up the bodies and move them. You can’t scare me. I’m in.”

  I’m generally not one to not do what I feel like doing but, instead of ripping his shirt off my tingling and weirded-out body, I grin mischievously, “Not even if I try to pull off a sexy face?”

  “Oh my God,” he sighs, pulling me to him. “You little ratbag. You actually had me worried there for a second.” My hands instantly curving around his back to finger the smooth muscles. His salty, fresh smell wafting like warm gusts of heaven into my nose. His heart is beating rapidly.