The Housewife Assassin's Horrorscope

by Josie Brown

  Housewife assassin Donna Stone must be more than just ready for her close-up if she's to infiltrate a television reality show in order to stop the broadcast of a live terrorist act.

  The Housewife Assassin’s Deadly Dossier (Book 15 - Series Prequel)

  In this full-length prequel to the series, Acme Industries' black-ops agent, Jack Craig, is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization's most prolific hit man, Carl Stone--only to fall in love the the dead man's wife, Donna: a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance. When Acme approaches Donna to join the organization as an assassin, Jack takes on an undercover mission that will change both their lives forever.

  The Housewife Assassin’s Greatest Hits (Book 16)

  As housewife assassin Donna Stone Craig’s life hangs in the balance, a deadly bet with the Grim Reaper brings forth a cavalcade of ghosts from her past: those whom she loved and lost, and those whose lives she took. Their sometimes chilling but always insightful points-of-view on Donna's life leave her with a few regrets, and at the same time grant her the redemption she needs to keep living. But first she must beat the Reaper at his own game.

  The Housewife Assassin’s Fourth Estate Sale (Book 17)

  Donna and Jack must infiltrate a major media conglomerate's newspaper, television, and radio divisions in order to stop a foreign state's covert attempt to initiate a global war.

  The Housewife Assassin Gets Lucky (Crossover Standalone Novel)

  When two hot, haute heroines team up to solve a murder, neither can afford to be fashionably late.

  No one expected to find a dead girl in the Royal Suite at the Babylon’s posh London club. Who would kill her? And why?

  With little to go on and no friends to rely on, Lucky O’Toole, the Babylon’s Chief Problem Solver, is dispatched to…well, to solve the problem.

  But she needs to be in Paris. Her fiancé—and, worse, his mother—are counting on her presence at a party in her honor in seventy-two hours, more or less. With a personal-life time-bomb ticking, Lucky hopes for a quick solution.

  A mystery woman, seen leaving the Royal Suite just before the girl’s body is discovered, attracts Lucky’s attention. She has to be the key…

  On loan to the CIA, assassin Donna Stone Craig and her crack black-ops team have stepped into a viper’s nest. First, they darn near get out-bid and overwhelmed at an auction to acquire a vintage purse hiding some critical intel its lining. Then a very important source Donna is to meet at the Babylon London Club winds up dead. And the young woman’s intel—bearing incredible global consequences—is encrypted. She was the only one who could give Donna the cipher, and she’s dead. Surely someone else would know. But, who?

  It’s easy to see why Acme’s prime suspect is the tall brunette who acts like she owns the place. Lucky O’Toole shows up at the wrong time, and in the wrong place.

  But before Donna and Lucky can find the right answers, they’ll need to overcome their reservations, and resolve their differences. But can they learn to trust each other before the real killer gets away?

  They have to. Their lives—and world peace—depend on it.

  The Housewife Assassin’s Horrorscope (Book 18)

  Donna Stone, her mission leader Jack, and their covert ops team must decipher horoscope tips that contain clues to the names of twelve suspects whose acts are treason could bring the world to the brink of war.

  The Totlandia Series

  DOWNLOAD THE FIRST BOOK FOR FREE

  TOTLANDIA: Book 1 (The Onesies/Fall)

  In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina Connaught Cross, leader of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in all of San Francisco. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year’s admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle. But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son’s life. Jillian’s husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husband—just a sperm donor—and she’s hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs… just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club. Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chances—and their private lives—go up in flames?

  TOTLANDIA: Book 2 (The Onesies/Winter)

  In this second book of the Totlandia series, five mommies are just one misstep away from entry into the elite Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Everyone has a scandalous secret to hide, but who will be the next to fall? With just four spots remaining, will the five remaining ladies turn cutthroat? Or will their newfound friendships be strong enough to help them band together?

  TOTLANDIA: Book 3 (The Onesies/Spring)

  The surviving moms are ready to reap the rewards of membership, but none of them counted on club founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, needing a pick-me-up from a bitter betrayal, whereas the new Onesies moms are trying to stay out of her sightlines long enough to deal with their own issues: Lorna wants to tell her family about Dante’s autism, but keeping it on her own terms could be difficult when her hippie mom and socialite mother-in-law meet for the first time. Jillian fights to regain her financial footing and confront her own insecurities, finding comfort in an unexpected place. And Ally can’t bear the thought of hurting Jade, so she continues to bury her feelings for Brady. But when another desperate housewife stirs the mix, Jade could become a pawn in an even more devious game.

  TOTLANDIA: Book 4 (The Onesies/Summer)

  Summer sizzles in Totlandia, emotions boil over. When Jillian's vindictive joke backfires, she learns the true meaning of forgiveness. Jade’s betrayal puts her in a dangerous downward spiral with no bottom in sight—until she finds friendship and redemption where she least expects it. Lorna faces the biggest trial in her marriage, and makes an important decision that may end it for good. While Ally may regret the choices made she to get accepted in the club, her exile puts new opportunities in her path, thanks to Brady and his ceaseless desire to win her over—with Barry's help, who is playing his own little game with the Top Moms Committee. But it's Bettina who suffers the ultimate punishment—one that changes her life, and the livelihood of the club, forever.

  TOTLANDIA: Book 5 (The Twosies/Fall)

  When Bettina Cross is faced with having to share the leadership of her beloved Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club with her sister-in-law, Lorna Connaught, she plays dirty—only to discover that her actions have aligned her two true enemies: Kimberley Savitch, and Kelly Overton. Bettina’s problems are compounded when Daniel Warwick, a Department of Justice prosecutor, wants to use her as bait to trap her soon-to-be ex, Art, into coming home and answering to long list of fraud charges. The fact that Art has scammed most of San Francisco’s wealthiest families has Bettina fighting desperately to preserve her most priceless possession: her social standing. When Brady lines up venture capital funding for Life of Pie, Ally must tamp down his gung-ho power ranger tendencies, while at the same time shore up Jillian’s insecurities that her pies won’t live up to Brady’s promises. And now that the once homeless Reggie is teaching the complete works of Shakespeare to UC Berkeley undergrads, Jade struggles with her fear that she’s competing for his affections with his younger, more beautiful students. Finally, an unexpected tragedy puts Jillian in the middle of her ex's life again—with consequences that will affect her future and those of her twins—forever.

  TOTLANDIA: Book 6 (The Twosies/Winter)

  Winter’s chill isn’t just in the air. It also runs through the veins of all the women in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Besides dealing with the politics of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, Lorna discovers a secret that will scan
dalize the members—and perhaps have one one them leaving in disgrace; As for Jade, her new part-time job on the UC Berkeley campus allows Reggie to see her in a whole new light—one that will either make, or break, their relationship; Jillian is juggling too much—not just the twins, the growth of Life of Pie, and the details of her wedding, but the guardianship of the infant, Scotty. Will her fiancé, Caleb man up to fatherhood—or will he be scared off by threats of a lawsuit from Rona, the mother her deceased ex-husband, Scott? And Brady’s frustration over Ally’s refusal to commit to marrying him leads him down a slippery slope–into her past. And finally, Bettina's idea for a new mobile may get her out of hock—but will it keep her in the good graces of Daniel Warwick—the Federal agent chasing down, Art?

  TOTLANDIA: Book 7 (The Twosies/Spring)

  For the women of Totlandia, spring brings new life and emotional renewal. The births of Lorna's twins brings depression—over Dante's future. The decision she makes will drive a wedge between her and Matt. As for Jillian, she's working harder than ever in launching Life of Pie. The good news: Caleb has taken to his new role as über-dad with gusto. The bad news: it's causing trouble in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Also, when one of Jade's darkest secrets is exposed, her past and future collide, forcing her to makes some hard decisions regarding her life—with or without Reggie. On the other hand, Ally is afraid that the truth about her father may be the end Brady's love for her.

  As for Bettina: will she succumb to an easy fix for her problems, or will she embrace the challenge that may lead to the financial and emotional freedom she craves?

  TOTLANDIA: Book 8 (The Twosies, Summer)

  The final book of the series is filled with surprising conclusions for the Pacific Heights parents you’ve come to love—and the one you love to hate:

  Stress from the club and motherhood puts Lorna into a tailspin that threatens life. Will Matthew make the right choice for her and their children?

  Jade’s past puts her career and her marriage to Reggie in jeopardy;

  In the hope of salvaging her friendship with Jillian, Ally makes a decision that will affect their lives forever. But can it also save her relationship with Brady?

  And finally: when Art’s funeral fails to end Bettina’s personal purgatory in San Francisco’s social circles, her new puts her back on top—but her successes come at a high price: the love and acceptance of those she loves most.

  Welcome to Totlandia's summer of love, lust, temptation, and redemption.

  The True Hollywood Lies Series

  Hollywood Hunk

  (Formerly published as “True Hollywood Lies”)

  Hollywood Whore

  Available in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand.

  * * *

  “The writing is laced with venomous humor…”

  –The Wall Street Journal

  "Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story.”

  –Publishers Weekly

  "A fine piece of literary work."

  –New York Post, Page Six

  "Josie Brown does an outstanding job capturing the glitz and glamour of Hollywood living yet illuminating the stark loneliness present beneath the façade. Filled with good-natured humor and witty repartee..."

  –Romance Reader's Connection

  "With tongue-in-cheek dialogue, Hollywood Hunk provides a fascinating look at the jet set lifestyle of the rich and for-the-moment famous.... You will laugh, cry, and wonder if it's worth it to be rich and famous."

  –Romance Reviews Today

  Other Books by Josie Brown

  The Baby Planner

  The Nanny Diaries meets The Wedding Planner in this smart, dishy novel from the author of Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives—featuring a woman who runs San Francisco’s premier baby planning company and the mommies-to-be who seek out her services.

  Katie Johnson may make her living consulting with new moms on the latest greatest baby gadgets no parent should be without, or which mommy meet-ups are the most socially desirable, or whether melon truly is the new black, but the success of her marriage to her husband, Alex, depends on controlling her own urges toward motherhood.

  He's adamant that they stay childless. Sure, Katie understands that he's upset over the fact that his out-of-town ex-wife rarely lets him see their ten-year-old son, Peter. But living vicariously through her anxious clients and her twin sisters' precocious children only makes Katie resent his stance more deeply.

  While helping a new client—Seth Harris, a high tech entrepreneur who must raise Sadie, his newborn daughter, as a single parent after the tragic death of his wife in childbirth—maneuver the bittersweet journey from mourning husband and reticent father to loving dad, Katie’s own ideals about love, marriage, and motherhood are put to the test as she learns ones very important lesson about family: How we nurture is the true nature of love.

  "Josie "Brown takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together." —Publishers Weekly

  "We love Josie Brown. Plain and simple. We first fell for her when we read the impossibly delicious Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, and now we’re falling all over again after consuming her latest fun, funny and completely satisfying novel, The Baby Planner." -- Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke

  Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

  Suburbia is a jungle, filled with lots of vicious creatures.Take the Paradise Heights Women’s League board. Lyssa Harper should have warned golden-haired DILF du jour Harry Wilder what he was getting into when she invited him to meet the mommies who run their suburban, gated community. At least he brought cupcakes. Since meeting the former Master-of-the-Universe turned stay-at-home single dad, Lyssa has been his domestic Sherpa, teaching him the ins and outs of suburban life. She just didn’t realize her friends would show up at his house unannounced with casseroles, leopard-print bikini briefs, and plans to rearrange his kitchen cabinets. The truth is, if Harry and his wife, the neighborhood’s “perfect couple,” can call it quits, what does that mean for everyone else? Lyssa’s husband, Ted, is a great father, but he pays her Pilates-pumped momtourage more attention than he does his own wife. Her friends gossip about the neighbors while ignoring their own problems: infertility, infidelity, and eating disorders. When Harry sets boundaries with his new fan club, he is exiled from the neighborhood’s in-clique. But Lyssa refuses to snub him. What she never expects is the explosive impact her ongoing friendship with Harry will have on her close-knit pals—and on her marriage.

  The Candidate

  (A Political Thriller)

  Seduction and intrigue are rampant on the campaign trail when a political campaign adviser discovers that Washington's power broker elite have embroiled his presidential candidate in a plot involving an act of terrorism on US soil… Democratic political campaign consultant Ben Brinker can’t remember the last time he was excited by a candidate’s vision. He feels he’s lost his way, both emotionally and professionally. Worse yet, his show-me-the-money policy seems to have finally caught up with him. Two of his recent clients have been disgraced in one way or another: a senator is caught in lurid sex scandal, and a congressman is indicted in a kickback scandal. In no time at all the political pundits are calling Ben a "candidate cooler." Now Ben is desperate for any campaign gig he can get. As luck would have it, Andrew Harris Mansfield, the charismatic junior senator from North Carolina and former Marine pilot, asks Ben if he wants to run his soon-to-be-announced campaign for president. Little does Ben know what's in store for Andrew, or their country—Nor does he realize that the key to savin
g both have been placed in his hands.

  Praise for Josie Brown

  "Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading."

  –Jackie Collins, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl

  "Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heart wrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"

  –Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit

  "The Baby Planner is as a delight. I wondered, as I was reading it, how I every managed without a baby planner, and by the end I wondered how I ever managed without its author, Josie Brown."

  –Eileen Goudge, New York Times bestselling author of Once in a Blue Moon

  "Josie Brown’s writing is whip-smart as well as wickedly funny, and just as you are enjoying the ride she takes you on, she shatters your heart with her insight into modern lives."