Desensitizer

by Kaero Davis

  Upon Prying A Maddened Mind

  When you choose to pry inside my mind,

  You’ll leave the world you knew behind,

  And you will draw ever closer near,

  To insidious things you’ll find you’ll fear,

  Invocations and mantras for disaster,

  Masked with manic, lunatic laughter,

  Hazes, mists, fogs, smoke and steam,

  Disguising all causes of the piercing screams,

  Only fools would unwittingly dare,

  Infiltrate such a blatant nightmare,

  Darkness of every imaginable sense,

  And what it represents all too soon commence,

  Poison, bullets, blades, fire,

  Massacre mayhem that never tire’s,

  And why not do it all over a drink?

  Comply and allow me to be the one to think,

  All the riches you could thieve,

  All the smoke you could breathe,

  And all kinds of excitement amidst the crisis,

  Anything, everything you find entices,

  One might call it an endless living hell,

  No place safe enough for anyone to dwell,

  But mind you tread carefully all through these allusions,

  Or else befall the prey to my deviant amusement,

  You may stay as long as you like,

  Or you may very well run for your life,

  But should you reveal that you despised,

  Remember you pried to see what comprised…

  Exit Scenario

  “It’s perhaps why I spend more time in my head than involved in anything else with other people. I entertain myself better than anyone else can entertain me – and I fucking hate being bored. Bored and annoyed or pissed off. I find bliss in ignorance – as so many have previously said and felt before me. huh, guess I understand that term now…So, I shut off, and do my own thing elsewhere. Beats facing indifferences with plenty other people. God, I hate it when they have to know and just push and push and push because they just simply cannot take ‘NO’ for an answer. And then when they get an answer out of me there’s another battle because I offended them or upset them with the answer I gave. They can’t handle it – they never do but they never learn. It never fucking ends. I have to be by myself when I get into these moments – I can’t be around anyone when I’m like that because more often than not I can’t contain myself enough from saying something they’re not going to want to hear – I end up doing it anyway because you think it’d get them off my back, you’d think it’d put space between me and them. One would naturally think so but no. I need peace – and I have to be at peace when I’m in need to face what generally bothers me or else it’s just going to be a fucking hell of a time. I need to be at peace – to peacefully rationalize through what the fuck’s going on and I need to be alone through those moments because it’s the best and most effective way to work on the things I need to get me through each of what stressors. Some fucker’s just blow it all out of proportion and can make it sound worse than what it really is – God knows I feel it deeper than others show they do, (I am aware I have done this myself at times) but if it’s not a big fucking deal – and half the time it’s not – why make it a big fuckin’ deal? If it can wait – then It can fuckin’ wait…” – Netheil.

  Enter Scenario

  “Irreparable damage. The damage done that renders someone, something incapable of ever being the same, nor any better off ever. A kind of damage that can’t be reversed after defected. It’s extremely rare that once beyond a certain point – any kind of repair can be made. So very rare. We’re living in a throw-away society, that when somethings broken, fucked beyond use, we chuck it out and upgrade to something else. Something not necessarily new on occasion but not fucking far off working. People are the same. Once beyond broken, often we die off. Some lives aren’t as worth to some compared to others (in some eyes), and it’s sad but anyone surviving irreparable damage to the mind or body – requires kind care and patience, unless otherwise requested. There are a lot of people out there that feel like they don’t have anything out there to continue to live for. And there are people out there whom are willing to sell others out for profit, or for some kind of gain. A lot of it happens at the expense of another. And there are some out there that would waste entire races. You might say there’s something genetically wrong in the minds of those some, yet they’re plenty still capable of walking around playing as though nothing’s wrong. It’s not them – never is, it’s everybody else. The disaster that plagues a mind of nightmares, still living through a nightmare, the kind you only ever thought to exist and witness in a theatrical feature film. Some people cannot repair themselves after a time and can quite literally make it permanent. We’ve seen in movies like, virus’s wiping out humanity – where in order to survive, you have to really put all you once were behind you – the life you had and knew and enjoyed is gone, and so inspiring so to have interpret thousands of many genres of literature – and mine.” – Mugdowie.

  Virus

  Dis – ease,

  Sweeps society,

  Conspiracy,

  Civilization down,

  Down on their knees,

  Crawlin’

  Searching for a sanctuary,

  Populous,

  Decimating, dropping,

  Number’s decreasing,

  It’s like a plague,

  Takes on a rotting state,

  Putrification,

  A dominating viral decay,

  Dis – ease,

  Sweeping Society,

  Conspiracy,

  Civilization down,

  And still dropping,

  Crawling,

  Searching for sanctuary,

  Populous,

  Decimating, declining,

  Number’s ceasing,

  This plague,

  Taking on a rotting state,

  Putrification,

  The dominating viral decay,

  Exit Scenario

  “As insane as I’ve felt I’ve been driven – I have somewhat managed to keep them all intact, all 17 of them. As often as we died inside, something else had been birthed back, something I wasn’t ever before, and always different. There have been pieces of me killed off and rot away that I doubt just some of those things would once again return and average me back out. We bury the dead, and I mean that in all senses. We find ourselves at times reflect, on certain things we may have previously surpassed. The passing and deaths of old friends/ friendships based around say, a conflict of each other’s memory – their character in the now, not necessarily resembling something in the now, not resembling as you remember. You change, everybody else changes, memories are there, and you can appreciate them, or let the seed turn bad and into a nasty weed noxious to everything and everyone around it. Toxic. Some people become toxic having never learnt safe strategies of releasing torsion, the tension – and sicken the air around them and everybody else. Rot and decay sour it. The problem with attitude is it’s infectious, just like a virus. We might as well already be as good as drugged up, doped up, obedient and complying. Like zombies. We get as good as we gave and vice versa, the infecting attitude radiating off one will surely send a sense of a likewise effect in response. It goes from shit to just plain fucked.” – Mugdowie.

  Enter Scenario

  “Man, I’m just barely scraping by eh,”

  “I know mate, hang in there – you’re doing great,”

  “It might look like it but I’m barely keeping my head together,”

  “Be patient dude – it’ll happen, you’re working at it aren’t ya?”

  “Yeah but –”

  “Hey man, chill – this shit doesn’t happen over-night – just keep puttering away at what you’re doing mate and have some faith,�
��

  “Ya really think folk might go for all this?”

  “Well. It’s hard for me to say precisely – it’s probably not going to be for everyone – but you’re way smart dude, all this work, it’ll pay off – I just can’t believe how good you are at what you’ve done already – and you’re only getting better man…”

  “I hope so man because – shit, you’ve seen how hard it is for me from time to time – I need to be able to really live – I mean, I want to live comfortably – but I fuckin’ need it as bad man…”

  Wanting More (And Needing It as Bad)

  I want a skyward vision,

  Wanna make it my position,

  Wanna make folks listen,

  Begin my true mission

  I wanna stand tall,

  Not be down anymore,

  I wanna be successful,

  Not fighting for a dime ’cause I’m poor,

  I wanna focus and move forward,

  Never bored or awkward,

  Nevermore haltered,

  Or set backward,

  I need succession,

  Mastering my profession,

  Gaining affection and attention,

  Clawing, climbing at ascension,

  I need a better life,

  Not fall on my own knife,

  Never feel spite, never skite, fight or smite,

  But try in all my might to make my future bright,

  My wants are my needs it seems,

  Gotta work as hard as I pray to reach my dreams,

  It’s detrimental to my health and self-esteem,

  Cause I could rip out hair in a bellowing scream,

  I find myself wanting more,

  And needing it like never before,

  My grace awaits the end of this war,

  Chapters yet to write beyond the door,

  I’m trying to appreciate what I have,

  Find what I’ve lost and lack,

  But this requires looking back,

  But I don’t wanna look back,

  Transformation can’t come quick enough,

  I’ve got potential, I’m made of the stuff,

  So why’s it gotta be so tough?

  It just better not end so abrupt,

  God I hope my work pays off,

  Cause I desire more than what I’ve got,

  I don’t wanna lose and begin to rot,

  Before I begin to scheme the plot,

  Oh lord almighty,

  Please don’t spite me,

  I beg you help me,

  Let me be all I need to be,

  I’m wanting more and needing it bad,

  Wanna be happy not sad nor mad,

  Need to get passed this little fad,

  Of feeling drab to being glad

  Exit Scenario

  “All I wanna say man is, don’t give up – don’t give in because there ain’t no one like you man – and you’re smart enough to put in a unique perspective – genuine and authentic – you’ll get there man, I know you will, but I have one question,”

  “Thanks for your kind words brother – what’s the question?

  “Well, when you’re filthy rich – you won’t forget me will ya?”

  “Haha, of course not, you’re me bro – you’ve been there and witnessed me worse than alongside others, no way in Hell I’m not gonna let you soak in some of the glory,”

  “Hahaha – I was joking, but I appreciate you saying that man, means a lot – cheers,”

  “Too easy man, all good…”

  Enter Scenario

  “Man, I really don’t like what I’m seeing on the news – the new world order is on the verge of being kicked into place, and it’s scary stuff. I had almost hoped it wouldn’t happen in my lifetime, that I wouldn’t be alive to witness it but sure enough – it’s happening, and we need to do something about it. Shit, it’s almost too late – but I still had to say something, I wrote this, hoping to get a rising paranoid fear off my chest, get it out in the open. Our leaders will (and are) sending us all into perilous paths whether we like it or not – we all need to open our eyes – open our mouths and say something about it – do something if we actually have any power left to. Our rights are being violated and something needs to be done (Thanks Dave Mustaine) and… it’s getting serious people…” – Lugxeid.

  Warning: World Wide

  To Friends, Family, Foes, and all whom I’ve never had the pleasure to know;

  Lend me your ears,

  Let me speak to you my fears,

  Something sinister our way nears,

  Incinerating everything we hold dear,

  A hypocrite stirs the rifts,

  Land and Laws twist and shift,

  Minds’ adazed, blind, adrift,

  The kick up the rear wilt be swift,

  Learn now before too late,

  Take the time to contemplate,

  That we don’t really own our fate,

  We’re going down having taken the bait,

  He’s a wolf wearing a sheep outfit,

  Cunning enough to have us outwit,

  He’s digging us all out a pit,

  Closer to hell, bit by bit,

  Evil manifests a holy disguise,

  Blinding and binding are the lies,

  Prepare to kiss your world goodbye,

  Freedom itself meets its’ demise,

  …There is something in the air,

  And it will take its’ fare,

  It’ll scare even those who dare,

  So I urge thee, beware,

  There will be a war, that’s entirely for sure

  It’s the Government that opened that door,

  It’s dividing the rich apart from the poor,

  Unsettling, how they increase the score,

  Enough to make you just want to, rage and roar,

  They’ve got devices,

  They’ve got prices,

  Don’t comply and you’ve got a crisis,

  They’re freedom compromisers,

  Lying deceitful devisors,

  With control in horrific sizes,

  Double standard hypocrisy,

  Do you really think you want a piece of me?

  Warning: World Wide (Continued)

  I’m much more to handle than you conceive,

  Don’t you see? I’m not deceived,

  It’s a war you simply will not win,

  And I see right through your skin,

  I hope you can take it on the chin,

  When the Almighty punishes your sin,

  …A paranoid, selfish, pious little man,

  In position to carry out his demands,

  Will soon bury us beneath the sand,

  Of a foreign nuclear wasteland,

  I’d very much like to share my wisdom,

  To defeat a forming cataclysm,

  Relieve the dead-end scepticism,

  Repair a broken division,

  We really need to put things right,

  To stand together and bravely fight,

  And it may take all of our might,