Breakers

by Doug Johnstone

  She was propped up higher than before, her eyes closed. There was a book open on her lap, something thick with an embossed cover. That meant she wasn’t in a coma anymore, either that or the book was someone else’s. He looked around but there was no one else in here. He turned back to her. She looked a damned sight healthier than Angela.

  He came round to the edge of the bed and stood there, his hands by his sides, his fingers almost touching the covers. Her breathing was shallow, her eyes flicking left and right beneath the lids. Her hair was just as shiny as he remembered it that night, someone must’ve washed it for her. Must be nice having someone look after you like that. He thought about his mum’s hair.

  She opened her eyes and stared straight at him. He took a shaky breath but didn’t speak. To begin with he thought she didn’t recognise him, then something seemed to change in her face, a realisation. He was ready for her to reach for the emergency button at the side of the bed. He glanced at it, only a few inches away from her fingers. He was ready to hear her scream out for someone to come.

  But she just blinked heavily, keeping her gaze on him. He wanted to look away, to run away, to be anywhere but here, but he made himself stay.

  ‘You were there,’ she said. Her voice was croaky and dry, but it was definitely the same voice that shouted at Barry that night.

  Tyler just stared. Eventually he gave the smallest nod. His eyes flitted to the button, and she noticed.

  She shook her head, a tiny motion. ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Why not?’

  Monica swallowed and sighed. ‘It wasn’t you.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You didn’t stab me.’

  Tyler stayed silent.

  Monica swallowed again, it looked like hard work.

  Tyler reached for a glass of water on the bedside cabinet and held it out for her.

  She took it, leaned forward and put it to her lips, then her head fell back onto the pillow. She handed the glass back.

  ‘Is he your friend?’

  Tyler shook his head.

  ‘What then? Brother?’

  Tyler nodded.

  Monica looked around the room then at the doorway. Tyler turned but there was no one there. He could hear his blood roaring in his ears.

  ‘You’re in trouble,’ Monica said. ‘You know that, don’t you?’

  Tyler was still holding the glass of water, tremors on the surface as his hand shook.

  Monica looked at his hand. ‘When Derek finds you, I mean.’

  Tyler rubbed at his thigh, breathed in and out.

  Monica stared at him. ‘Did you know?’

  Tyler looked puzzled. ‘Know what?’

  ‘That it was our house. Was it deliberate?’

  Tyler shook his head again, that’s all he ever seemed to do.

  Monica let out a breath. ‘Just bad luck.’

  Tyler offered her the glass again but Monica waved it away. He put it on the cabinet.

  Monica’s hand came to rest nearer the emergency button. Tyler glanced at it.

  ‘Why are you here?’ Monica said.

  Tyler shrugged. ‘I wanted to see you were OK.’

  A cough slipped out the side of her mouth. She looked him in the eye for a long time. ‘Someone called an ambulance.’

  Tyler didn’t answer.

  ‘From my phone,’ she said.

  Tyler remembered picking it up from the floor in her house, her eyes flickering open and closed as he shut the door behind him.

  Monica was still looking at him intensely.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Now go.’

  29

  He came out of the main entrance of the hospital, went round the corner and stopped. The sun was out and he stood still, eyes closed, face raised to the warmth like a gecko. He imagined his skin catching fire, the smell of pork as his face cooked and melted away. He rubbed his hands against his scalp, cricked his neck and breathed in the oddly gassy smell that drifted on the wind across the hospital grounds. Some researchers somewhere, mixing up chemicals.

  He’d left Monica and gone back to his mum, but there was no change there. He’d sat for a few minutes then realised he had to go get Bean from school. He could walk back over the derelict ground to Niddrie quickly enough, then up the hill and over to Craigmillar Primary, shouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes.

  ‘Hey.’

  He knew who it was just from that one word.

  He kept his eyes closed for a few seconds, reluctant to face this.

  ‘I’m talking to you, retard.’

  Tyler opened his eyes. There was Ryan Holt with his dad and another man the same age. Deke was in a smart business suit like he’d just come from court, his thick neck and shaven head pure bouncer. No tattoos visible, which was unusual these days. The other man was taller, a trimmed beard, a slight quiff, wearing a black bomber jacket and jeans with cuffs turned up. It might’ve been a hipster look if he wasn’t so muscle-bound. Ryan was striding ahead of them towards Tyler, flicking a cigarette butt into the gutter.

  ‘The fuck are you doing here?’ Ryan said.

  Tyler took a deep breath in and out. He pointed as calmly as he could at the entrance. ‘Seeing my mum.’

  Ryan was in his face now. He didn’t have any other gears, just straight intimidation. ‘What’s the matter with her?’

  Tyler looked past Ryan at the older men, watching him silently.

  ‘Drugs.’

  ‘Which drugs?’

  Tyler swallowed. ‘Heroin.’

  ‘Fucking junkie,’ Ryan said. He turned to the other two. ‘This is the cunt I told you about, asking about Mum.’

  Tyler held a hand out. ‘I was just saying how sorry I was about what happened.’

  Deke’s eyes were narrow, maybe against the sunlight bouncing off the white wall behind Tyler. ‘Why?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Why bother speaking to Ryan about his mum?’

  ‘Seemed like the right thing to do.’

  Deke nodded. ‘Uh-huh.’ He didn’t sound convinced.

  Tyler was ready to run. He was pretty fast but he wouldn’t outrun these three all the way to Niddrie.

  Deke threw a thumb in the direction of the other guy. ‘This is Sonny, my brother-in-law.’

  ‘OK.’

  ‘That’s his sister inside there with the stab wound. My wife.’

  ‘Sorry to hear that.’

  Deke rubbed the stubble on his chin, then pulled at his earlobe. ‘It’s a bit of a coincidence, us meeting you here.’

  ‘Not really,’ Tyler said. ‘If you knew my mum. I’m here a lot.’

  Ryan sneered. ‘Junkie bitch.’

  Deke looked at him, and his snigger died. ‘That’s the boy’s mum you’re talking about. Watch your fucking tongue.’

  Ryan’s head went down. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘How would you like someone talking about your mum like that?’

  Ryan didn’t answer.

  ‘Well?’

  ‘I wouldn’t.’

  Tyler felt like he was rubbernecking a road accident. Then Deke’s eyes were on him again.

  ‘What did you say your mum’s name was?’

  Tyler hadn’t said and they both knew it. ‘Angela.’

  ‘Angela what?’

  ‘Wallace.’

  Deke glanced at Sonny. He was obviously going to check at reception that they had an Angela Wallace in for a drug overdose, so no point in lying.

  ‘You got any brothers or sisters,’ Deke said.

  ‘Older brother and sister,’ Tyler said. He deliberately didn’t mention Bean, they didn’t need to know about her.

  He wondered briefly if Barry’s reputation stretched as far as the Holts. Maybe not, the Wallaces were small time, the krill at the bottom of the food chain, and the Holts were the sharks.

  Deke was nodding to himself. ‘Well, look after each other, family’s important. What happened to my wife, it puts everything in perspective.’

  �
�OK.’

  Silence for a moment, Ryan looking from one to the other of them, trying to work out some leverage.

  Eventually Deke looked away, up at the large sign above the main entrance. He turned to go inside, the others following like pack animals. ‘Look out for yourself, Tyler. And look out for your family.’

  30

  Tyler cut around the back of the hospital and up the hill past the helicopter landing pad. Hannah Peel was playing in his ears, a trippy soundtrack to a sci-fi movie that hadn’t been made. He skirted the edge of the trees that ran along Craigmillar Castle Road, the open field to his right, the Barratt building site beyond. So much open space around here still, gradually getting swallowed by houses and offices. To his left he could see the highest crennellations of the castle, remembered being up there in the dark with Flick, staring out over the sleeping city. He wondered what she was doing right now.

  He stepped away from the road and followed the rough path through the trees to the edge of his school, then out onto the road and down to Craigmillar Primary. They’d got out twenty minutes ago so there were just a few mums left blethering outside the gate, their kids mucking around in a muddy puddle next to the bushes. But twenty minutes wasn’t too bad, Miss Kelvin would have kept Bean in as usual. He tried to think how he would explain to Bean what had happened to Angela.

  He got to the classroom, knocked on the open door and went in. Miss Kelvin was putting the little chairs up on the desks, clearing the place for the cleaners. Tyler glanced around then caught the teacher’s eye, and the look on her face made his stomach sink.

  She stopped with a chair in her hand, her fingers gripping the plastic. ‘She’s gone.’

  ‘What do you mean, you just let her wander off?’ Tyler looked around the room as if Bean might pop up from under a desk and surprise him.

  ‘She said you were outside waiting,’ Miss Kelvin said, her voice wavering. ‘I presumed that if you weren’t there she would come back in.’

  ‘You didn’t check?’

  Miss Kelvin was on the verge of tears. ‘The playground’s busy at home time, you know that. I’m sorry, but it’s not really my job. There are thirty children in this class.’

  Tyler stared at her and wondered how old she was. Maybe about the same age as Barry. He tried to imagine her and Barry having a conversation, but he couldn’t bridge the gap in his mind, they were from different universes.

  Miss Kelvin put the chair down and stood there, arms by her side.

  Tyler looked around again, tried to think. ‘I’m sorry, it’s my fault.’

  ‘Would she just have walked home?’ Miss Kelvin said.

  Tyler nodded, Bean was a sensible kid, she wouldn’t walk off with strangers. He thought about the Holts outside the hospital. Deke had said, ‘look out for your family’. Half an hour later his little sister was missing.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘She’s probably on her way home.’

  If only he’d come the other way from the hospital, he would surely have walked right into her.

  ‘Maybe her mum came for her?’ Miss Kelvin said.

  Tyler let out a laugh, picturing Angela in the hospital bed. ‘No.’

  ‘Is there anyone at home when she gets there?’ Miss Kelvin said. So many questions and Tyler didn’t have any answers.

  ‘I’d better go find her.’

  He was already halfway out the door when Miss Kelvin called after him.

  ‘Let me know she’s safe.’

  He ran out of the playground, picking up speed as he turned along Greendykes Road, the downward slope forcing him forward, his trainers slapping on the concrete, mums with little kids staring at him as he passed. One he recognised, Aisha with her mum, holding hands, their arms swinging in unison. He slowed as he reached them.

  ‘Aisha.’

  Her mum jumped at his voice, pulling her daughter closer.

  He was breathing hard from the exertion. ‘Have you seen Bean? Bethany?’

  He was talking to both of them, looking from one to the other.

  Aisha looked confused. ‘Not since class.’

  He stared at her mum, who was beginning to realise he’d lost her. ‘Sorry, I haven’t seen her. Can I help?’

  Tyler swallowed and shook his head. ‘If you see her, bring her home. It’s Greendykes House.’

  He ran on, round the building site until he was at the tower. She wasn’t waiting outside. She didn’t have keys but maybe someone let her in.

  He went inside and jumped in the lift, tried to get his breathing back as it chugged up the floors, frustrated at suddenly being motionless. He burst out of the lift doors and into the flat, went through every room, even checked under the beds, no sign of her. He went next door, his heart racing, and thudded on the door. Just the dogs barking, no answer. He thumped again but that just got the dogs more agitated. Still no answer.

  ‘Barry? Kelly?’

  She couldn’t be inside, surely, it didn’t make any sense. He thought about trying to hammer the door down, but that was a non-starter. He tried to think. She wouldn’t be at a friend’s house, would she? No mum would take her and not mention it. Maybe Barry or Kelly had her somewhere else. But why? And it couldn’t be the Holts. If they knew anything, they would’ve killed Tyler at the hospital. The dogs were scratching at the inside of the door, slobbering and barking, yelping as they fell over each other. He couldn’t think. Then it came to him. The dogs.

  He ran down the stairs and burst out of the front door, running again, feeling the dampness in his armpits, the breath in his lungs burning as he gulped in air, along the road again to the derelict house. He slapped the wall with his palm as he headed round the back. The cardboard sheet was still in the window frame, which made him frown. He ripped it out and peered in. Too dark, couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything over his own heartbeat and breathing.

  ‘Bean?’

  He clambered in, careful of the broken glass in the frame, and landed inside with a thud and a puff of masonry dust. Opened his eyes wide to get used to the dark, then spotted Snook over in the corner by the dog basket. He heard a whimpering noise.

  ‘Bean?’

  He walked over, saw the dog and her pups more clearly, but no sign of Bean. He leaned down and scratched behind the dog’s ear. ‘Where the fuck is she?’

  He straightened up and looked around. Went to the window and stared out over the waste ground at the back of the castle.

  Then his phone rang.

  He swallowed as he took it out of his pocket.

  On the screen was the alias he’d plugged in for DI Pearce’s number.

  He answered. ‘What?’

  ‘Guess who I have with me?’ Pearce said.

  ‘You bitch,’ Tyler said. ‘I was worried sick.’

  ‘She’s fine,’ Pearce said. ‘Come and meet us for a coffee.’

  The Starbucks at Fort Kinnaird was new – dark wood and uncomfortable plastic chairs, overly cheery staff, huge glass frontage looking out at a traffic jam and Primark.

  Pearce sat at a window table with Bean, who was halfway through a syrupy caramel milkshake. She grinned when she saw him, a cream moustache across her upper lip. ‘Hi.’

  Pearce gave him a knowing look as he sat down.

  ‘What have I told you about going off with strangers,’ Tyler said to Bean.

  She frowned and sucked milkshake through the straw. ‘But she’s a policewoman. She showed me her badge.’

  Pearce put her hands out in front of her. ‘I’m here to serve.’

  ‘How dare you,’ Tyler said.

  Pearce widened her eyes. ‘What? It’s lucky I was there. No responsible adult to pick her up from school. She could’ve got into all sorts of trouble.’

  Tyler shook his head. ‘Leave us alone.’

  Pearce leaned forward. ‘This is just the start. I want Barry.’

  Bean perked up. ‘What about Barry?’

  Tyler frowned and looked at her. ‘Nothing. Go get a napkin from the counte
r, you’ve got cream all over your face.’

  She took the straw from her cup and sucked it as she traipsed across the café.

  ‘You’re fucking unbelievable,’ Tyler said.

  ‘Give me what I want and you’ll be safe.’

  ‘You can’t keep us safe.’

  ‘The police are the best chance you have.’

  ‘You don’t believe that any more than I do.’

  Pearce leaned back. ‘Maybe I’ll take you in for questioning right now. Get social services to look after Bean.’

  Tyler narrowed his eyes. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’

  ‘Wouldn’t I?’

  ‘You say you’re trying to help us, but it doesn’t feel like that.’

  Pearce shrugged. ‘I can only do so much if you don’t cooperate.’

  Bean came back, making exaggerated swipes at her face with a napkin.

  Tyler stood up. ‘Come on, Bean, we’re going.’

  ‘Can I bring my milkshake?’

  Pearce lifted the cup and handed it to her. ‘Of course, dear. You look after your big brother, you hear?’

  Tyler stared at her for a moment then took Bean’s hand and left.

  The cardboard sheet was still away from the window frame, Tyler hadn’t replaced it in the rush to head to Starbucks. He lifted Bean through the opening and placed her carefully on the floor inside, heard Snook whine.

  He looked around, breathing in the fresh air, then pulled himself through the opening and dropped into the darkness. It took his eyes a few moments to acclimatise. Bean ran over and sat down next to Snook on the mattress, picked up one of the pups and stroked it in her lap.