Breakers

by Doug Johnstone

  ‘Bean?’

  He went over. She looked up with tears in her eyes. In her lap was the sick puppy, motionless and curled into a ball.

  ‘She’s dead,’ Bean said. ‘Peach is dead.’

  Snook let out a keening noise and licked at the pup in Bean’s lap, who didn’t respond.

  The other two puppies shuffled nervously around their mum, sensing something was off.

  ‘Why did she die?’ Bean said.

  Tyler crouched next to her and stroked the puppy’s head. It already felt cold, or at least not as warm as a living thing. He brushed tears away from Bean’s cheek.

  ‘There’s nothing we could do,’ he said. ‘Sometimes little ones just aren’t strong enough.’

  ‘We didn’t look after her properly,’ Bean said, her voice hard.

  ‘No,’ Tyler said. ‘It’s not our fault.’

  ‘Then it’s Snook’s fault,’ Bean said, staring at the dog. ‘She wasn’t a good mum.’

  Tyler put a hand on Bean’s shoulder. ‘Look at me.’ He waited until she held his gaze. ‘It’s not anyone’s fault. Snook is a good mum. Look at the other two puppies, they’re fine, aren’t they? Sometimes these things happen. It’s just life.’

  Bean stared down at the dead puppy in her lap, played with its ear between her thumb and finger.

  ‘Then life’s not fair,’ she said.

  31

  Snook sniffed around the corners of the living room then into the kitchenette, licked at some toast crumbs on the floor there. She padded about, checking out the new territory, the two pups lolloping behind and beside her, getting in each other’s way. They seemed not to notice that the third one was missing. Was it that easy to move on?

  Bean had insisted they bury Peach, so Tyler had gone into the allotment at the back of the tower block, busted into a shed for a shovel, and dug a hole away from the rows of runner beans and onions. He laid Peach in the hole, said a few words about doggy heaven, and Bean placed a Polaroid picture of Snook on top of the body. Tyler began covering her over. Bean stood impassive, staring into the hole as the dirt landed on top of Peach’s fur.

  Bean had also insisted they bring Snook and the puppies to the flat to keep a closer eye on them. When they’d come out the lift door into the hallway, Ant and Dec went crazy barking and yelping in the other flat, scratching at the door, making Snook cower into the opposite corner. Tyler expected Barry to come barrelling out, maybe let his dogs have a go at them, but the door remained closed.

  Tyler lifted Snook in his arms and brought her inside, Mario and Luigi flopping in behind. They were too young and stupid to know the danger behind the other door, tails wagging at their new adventure.

  Bean threw some cushions from the sofa onto the floor, making a nest for Snook to settle in, which she did after circling the room a few more times. Tyler got out food and water out for her and she ate greedily, gulping down mouthfuls and raising her eyes between bites. She lay down and the puppies began to suckle, more room now there was just the two of them. Survival of the fittest was brutal.

  Tyler put the television on and Bean flumped into the sofa.

  ‘Is Mum in bed?’ she said.

  Tyler pushed at his eyebrows. ‘No, she’s in hospital.’

  Bean turned away from the screen, flickering light on her cheek. ‘Is she sick?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s very sick.’

  Bean considered this for a long time. ‘Is it drugs?’

  ‘What do you know about drugs?’

  ‘We learned all about it in school. How they’re really bad and can make you ill.’

  ‘That’s true.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Bean said. ‘Why do something that makes you sick?’

  How to get into this? He wondered if he could just stay quiet, if she would be distracted enough, but she turned to him looking for an answer.

  ‘Well?’

  ‘It’s complicated,’ Tyler said. ‘If you feel sad, sometimes drugs make you feel better but only for a short time, then they make you feel worse.’

  Bean pursed her lips. ‘That’s stupid.’

  Tyler looked at the TV screen. It was a clay animation about a bunch of kids who had all swapped bodies somehow. If only it was that easy to switch lives.

  ‘It is pretty stupid,’ he said.

  ‘And Mum’s stupid too.’

  ‘Hey,’ Tyler said.

  She turned at the tone in his voice.

  ‘Don’t say that about your mum,’ Tyler said. ‘It’s not her fault. Some people just aren’t as strong as others, they can’t help it.’

  Bean stared at him, then glanced at Snook and the pups. ‘Like Peach?’

  ‘Like Peach.’

  ‘Are we strong?’ Bean said.

  ‘Yeah, we’re strong.’

  Silence again, Bean thinking. ‘Will Mum die?’

  Tyler paused before answering. ‘No, she won’t die.’

  ‘You promise?’

  Tyler sighed and pulled at his earlobe.

  ‘Just watch your show,’ he said. ‘I’ll make us something to eat.’

  It was a sharp, cloudless night, stars like glitter glue spread across the blackness. Tyler felt Bean’s warmth against his chest and lap. They had the blanket wrapped round them both as Tyler told the story again, this time giving Bean Girl even more powers than usual, battling and easily defeating all the evil monsters of Niddrieville. He skirted over the bit mentioning Angela giving birth to her. They could see the hospital from here glowing in the distance, throbbing with life, and he thought about Monica in there too, trying to get better, using every ounce of strength to heal herself. He wondered if Angela had come round yet, if she was going through withdrawal. He wondered if they gave her anything to help her get through it, whatever she was feeling.

  Down below the lights from the building site reached into the sky like little fingers to heaven trying to commune with God. As if there was a big guy up there who could solve everything, just wave his hand and all the pain and hurt in the world would disappear.

  Tyler added a canine sidekick to the story, Bean Girl supported in her adventures by Little Peach, her trusty puppy, getting her out of scrapes when she couldn’t do it herself, saving the day more than once, and being rewarded with colossal hugs and doggy treats.

  The metal door from the hatchway crashed open, a shocking clang in the darkness, and Tyler felt Bean jump in his arms.

  ‘Fuck’s sake,’ Barry said, clattering out of the doorway and scuffing towards them.

  Tyler pulled Bean close, a signal between them under the blanket. He rubbed her hands then interlaced his fingers with hers.

  ‘You fucking cunts doing up here again?’ Barry said, lurching towards them.

  Tyler tried to breathe normally so that Bean wouldn’t get scared. He didn’t speak.

  Barry was at them now, standing over them.

  ‘I asked you a fucking question.’

  Tyler could smell whisky on Barry’s breath and sweat, something chemical to it, coked up again. He gave Bean’s hand another squeeze. ‘Just telling her a bedtime story, that’s all.’

  ‘Up here?’

  Bean shuffled in Tyler’s lap. ‘I like it up here.’

  Barry seemed confused that Bean had spoken and stared at her. Tyler could feel her muscles tense up. Barry shook his head, like he was trying to think straight.

  ‘What the fuck is going on with the dogs downstairs?’ he said. ‘You running a fucking kennel?’

  It took Tyler a moment to realise. Snook and the pups.

  ‘We found them,’ he said.

  ‘Street dogs, are you mental? Mangy little shites, full of disease.’

  Tyler felt Bean clear her throat.

  ‘They’re my pets,’ she said.

  Barry stared at her again like he couldn’t believe she was real. ‘Get rid of them. If you don’t, I’ll feed them to Ant and Dec, they won’t last two fucking minutes with a couple of proper dogs.’

  ‘Dogs shoul
dn’t be for fighting,’ Bean said.

  Barry ignored her and turned to Tyler. ‘I think they’ve almost got to us.’

  ‘The Holts?’

  ‘Who do you think?’

  ‘How?’

  ‘I was just at the casino with Gerry from Mussy. Says Wee Sam’s gone missing from the garage.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘So either the Holts have found the car and traced it to him, or he’s grassed us up and is hiding. Either way, we’re fucked.’

  ‘What does Kelly think?’

  ‘I can’t find her. You seen her?’

  Tyler shook his head and felt Bean straightening in his lap.

  ‘Mum’s in hospital,’ she said to Barry.

  He seemed confused for a moment. ‘I’ve bigger things to worry about than that junkie whore.’

  ‘You’re not nice,’ Bean said.

  Barry leaned forward and swiped the back of his hand across Bean’s face, knocking her off Tyler’s knees and onto the rough ground. Tyler sprung up and went to her, touched her arm as she lay there silent. Then the tears came, welling up in her eyes, a wail escaping from her mouth that drifted into the night. Barry’s sovereign ring had cut her cheek and her eye was starting to swell above it, dark red as the blood gathered under the surface.

  ‘Shut the fuck up,’ Barry said. ‘I hardly touched you.’

  Tyler looked up. ‘You’ve cut her face. Her eye’s bruised.’

  ‘She needs to toughen up.’

  Tyler stood up. ‘Don’t ever touch her again.’

  Barry swayed where he stood, raising his eyebrows. ‘Or what, fucktard?’

  ‘I’ll kill you.’

  Barry spread his arms wide. ‘I’d like to see you try.’

  Tyler lunged at him and shoved him in the chest. Barry’s movements were sluggish and he took the hit square on, staggering back a few steps so that he was only a couple of feet from the roof’s edge. Tyler pushed again but he had no run-up so there was no force behind it. Barry had regained his balance and sidestepped enough to make the blow glancing. He grabbed at Tyler’s wrist on the way past and held on tight, twisting it so that shards of pain shot up Tyler’s arm. He flinched and buckled under, Barry twisting his arm further so that Tyler had to turn and bend his knees in subservience, Barry rabbit punching Tyler in the kidneys then the back of the head, pulling at Tyler’s hair, yanking his head backward like he was the loser in a cheap wrestling bout.

  ‘You pissy little bitch,’ Barry said, pulling Tyler’s arm further behind his back until Tyler thought his shoulder was going to pop out of the socket, the pain burning through him. Somehow amongst the pain he realised his other arm was still free, and he flung his elbow round, catching Barry in the ear with a crunch so that Barry let go. Tyler staggered round and swung a punch at Barry’s chin. It connected but Barry didn’t flinch, his neck muscles straining as he threw a punch himself. Tyler ducked but not enough and it thudded into the temple above his eye, black sparks flashing across his vision. He crouched and threw himself forward into Barry’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him with his head as the pair of them lurched backward. Barry lost his footing and collapsed, Tyler falling on top of him, the pair of them at the edge of the roof now, fifteen floors of nothing below them on the way to the pavement.

  Barry heaved Tyler’s weight off him, thrashing like a madman as Tyler tried to hold on to his wrists. Barry got his leg free and dug his heel into the back of Tyler’s knee, making Tyler yell out and loosen his grip, then a fist came into his face from Barry’s left, rattling his jaw and making him dizzy. Barry heaved again and rolled, and he was on top of Tyler, then he staggered onto his feet, dragging Tyler by his shirt over the edge of the roof, holding him there with his head hanging back, a rush of wind from below playing with Tyler’s hair. Barry spat in Tyler’s face, making him wince, and released one hand from gripping Tyler’s shirt to slap him across the face. Tyler had no energy, beaten, and he wondered who would care for Bean when he was dead. He tried to look over to where she was but he couldn’t see her.

  ‘You fucking little cunt,’ Barry said. ‘After everything I’ve done for you. Both of you. I raised you when that junkie bitch wouldn’t and this is how you repay me.’

  Tyler couldn’t think of anything to say and couldn’t get his mouth to work anyway.

  ‘Don’t.’ This was Bean, now gripping Barry’s arm, trying to pull him away from Tyler. Barry swatted her away so that she fell backwards and hit the floor again with a yelp.

  Barry stared at Tyler and seemed to be considering his options through the coke haze.

  ‘I should just let go,’ he said. ‘Drop you over the edge.’

  Tyler could hear Bean sobbing and wanted to comfort her.

  ‘Barry, we’re family,’ he said. ‘Family sticks together.’

  Barry was still for a long moment. Tyler tried to work out what was going through his head. The family thing was bullshit of course but Barry had some faith in it, despite his attitude to Angela. Some bollocks about community, harking back to good old days that never existed.

  Eventually Barry shook his head. ‘I don’t have time for this.’

  He let go of Tyler’s shirt and Tyler’s head lurched back over the ledge. He scrambled with his legs until he was away from the edge, gulping in air.

  Barry straightened his back and stood with his legs spread, getting his breath back. He ran a hand over his scalp and looked from Tyler to Bean, both of them cowering on the floor.

  ‘If you hear from Kelly, let me know,’ he said, walking away. ‘And get rid of those dogs or I’ll kill them.’

  32

  Bean stuffed Panda into the holdall Tyler had thrown onto the floor in the middle of her bedroom. She put in other stuff, the jar of slime that a friend at school made her, some cheap plastic necklaces, an unsuitable make-up set that Tyler had stolen from a teenager’s bedroom in Comiston. She carefully placed the Polaroid, her stack of pictures and the remaining film in the bag. Tyler went through Bean’s drawers pulling out jammies, school clothes, underwear, leggings and tops.

  ‘Where are we going?’ she said. It was the third time she’d asked.

  ‘A friend’s house, I told you.’

  ‘Which friend?’

  ‘You don’t know her.’

  ‘You have a girlfriend?’

  ‘A girl who’s a friend.’

  ‘Isn’t that a girlfriend?’

  ‘No.’

  He went to his own room and threw in some clothes, then the bathroom to get their toothbrushes and toothpaste, shower gel. He went back to his room and dug under the mattress, pulled out the small wad of money that was there, stuffed it inside a sock in the bottom of the bag.

  His phone buzzed. She was downstairs. He looked out of the window but she’d parked round the corner like he asked. He couldn’t see her or the car, which meant Barry hopefully couldn’t either.

  He went back to the living room where Bean was stroking one of the puppies.

  ‘Shoes on,’ he said.

  She traipsed to the hall and came back, fumbling with them.

  ‘Do the laces,’ she said.

  He sighed. ‘You need to learn. I won’t be around to tie your laces forever.’

  He regretted saying that, given what’d just happened. His body was still shaking from adrenaline and shock. He tried to keep his voice level.

  ‘Now, you’ve got a very important job,’ he said. ‘You have to keep the puppies quiet, OK? When we leave.’

  She nodded gravely. ‘I will.’

  ‘Good.’

  He looked around, went to Bean’s room, emptied out a plastic box of beaten-up old toys and brought it back. Its sides were steep enough to prevent the puppies clambering out.

  ‘Put them in here,’ he said, handing her the box.

  She did it diligently, Snook sniffing around her as she moved.

  Tyler checked the food cupboards in the kitchenette, but there was nothing worth bringing. He went into a drawer
and pulled out the sharpest knife, pushed it through the belt loop on his jeans. He got the holdall, zipped it up and threw it over his shoulder. When he came into the hall Bean was already there with her jacket on, holding the puppies in the box, Snook at her side.

  He smiled. ‘Ready?’

  She nodded.

  ‘We have to be super quiet, remember? Barry can’t know we’re leaving.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘That means the dogs too. If Ant and Dec hear them, they’ll kick off.’

  Bean looked at the puppies, worried.

  ‘We’re going down the stairs. We can’t wait for the lift. Ready?’

  ‘You already asked that.’

  ‘OK.’

  He turned the latch on the door and opened it slowly. Put his key into the lock on the outside of the door so he could turn the mechanism and stop the door clunking shut. He pushed Bean out of the door and picked up Snook in his arms. She was lighter than he expected. Bean crossed the hallway towards the stairs, the puppies snuffling at their new surroundings. With Snook in his arms and the holdall on his back it was hard to get the key turned in the lock and pull the door shut. He kept at it and finally it closed silently. He slid the key into his pocket.

  One of the pups let out a tiny whine, nose over the edge of the box, looking for his mum. Bean twigged immediately and tipped the box so he could see Snook in Tyler’s arms. He panted and breathed, tail brushing the plastic of the box. Tyler looked at Barry’s front door and turned to follow Bean, Snook fidgeting in his arms as he went, then he had the stairwell door open and they were both out in the echoing concrete of the stairs. The door was on a cushioned hinge, and Tyler tried to pull it shut as gently as possible but it was slow. It wasn’t quite closed when one puppy yelped, a noise that reverberated around the stairwell like a gunshot.

  A pause of a second then Tyler heard Barry’s dogs barking and thudding down their hall.

  He pulled the door closed and turned.

  ‘Go,’ he said, pushing Bean towards the stairs.

  He overtook her as they went down the floors and had to keep stopping for her to catch up. He looked upward, expecting to hear the fire door swing open and Barry’s voice come roaring down to them, or the dogs clattering with their paws on the concrete. But it didn’t happen. As they approached the last few floors, he imagined Barry heading down in the lift with Ant and Dec, waiting for them when they reached the bottom. His heart thudded as he opened the door into the entrance, but it was empty.