A Quest for Chumps (Departed Dimensions Book 1)

by G. M. Reinstra

  “Right…” Remmy said sheepishly, and he took his tome. “Er, before we begin the lesson, may I ask you something?” Remmy asked.

  “You need not ask permission to ask a question. It is foolish and redundant. I will either answer you or I will not.”

  “Uh—okay. It’s just that I’ve heard that there’s quite a disparity in skill among clerics. You know… apparently some clerics find certain spells difficult, while others do not. Some are able to cast spells of a certain variety with much more potency and effectiveness than others. So…” He trailed off, having difficulty in framing his question.

  “So what?” snapped Gregor.

  “Well, so why is that? Are some clerics just, I dunno, defective?” He felt a fast-rising dread well up within him as he anticipated the answer to his question.

  “No,” said Gregor. “A cleric’s skill is like any other skill. Some carpenters are renowned for their competence and artistry, and they therefore command outrageous fees for their work. Others can barely handle a hammer, and as a result, they earn little. There are many reasons for why one enjoys success and the other does not. Aptitude is important, of course, but much more important is the determination to become better—a thirst to learn and to never cease learning. Practice is paramount, of course. The masters of any craft have practiced it for tens of thousands of hours. And of course, there are affinities for specific types of work—”

  “I mean am I still a cleric? Are my blessings actually doing anything at all?” Remmy blurted out.

  Gregor considered Remmy for a moment, his eyebrows narrowed. “Of course you are, and of course they are,” he said. “And what do you mean, still?”

  “I—I,” Remmy began. His jaw began to quiver, and there was an uncomfortable heat rising under his cheeks. “When I was a kid, I was neutralized,” he finally managed to say.

  “No such thing,” Gregor said at once.

  “What?” Remmy said, his eyes widening. “But it happened. They had a potion made by an occultist, and they forced me to drink it, and—”

  Gregor cut him off with a derisive laugh as he rolled his eyes. “There’s no. Such. Thing. Son.” he said. “What you drank was nothing more than the swill of a snake oil salesman who probably threw some mud, leaves and, water into a bottle so he could scam someone out of a few coins. There is no magic—and I mean no magic, that can take away your status as a cleric. I can sense it within you. You’re as magically endowed with the presence of the gods as you’ve ever been. You’re just a bit sloppy in the way you wield those powers. Well, very sloppy, actually.”

  “But when I was a little kid, I used to be able to make small objects levitate,” Remmy said. “I was able to heal cuts and wounds, and do everything else, not just blessings!”

  “And you still can,” Gregor said with a shrug.

  “No I can’t!” Remmy said, and tears of frustration began to stream down his face.

  “You can,” Gregor said quietly. He searched the grass for a moment, then bent down to fetch a stray stone from the ground. “It’s just like I told you, boy, there’s no magic that can take the power away from a cleric. Now focus on this stone, and make it levitate. Do it just like you used to do before you were forced to drink that so-called potion.”

  “I can’t…” Remmy repeated.

  Gregor sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, apparently lost in thought. “Do you know how traveling merchants’ elephants are trained on Raorik, Remmy?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “It was a simple question. Do you know how a traveling merchant’s elephant is trained?”

  “…No?” Remmy said as he wiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

  “It’s terribly cruel. You see, when the elephant is just a baby, they tie a great, heavy collar around its neck. They keep that collar anchored into the ground with a short length of rope. The baby elephant—being just a baby—quickly learns that it is powerless to escape from the collar or the anchor in the ground, so it eventually loses the will to even bother trying. And here’s the rub—the elephant isn’t stupid. It sees that its master was the one to set up the collar and the anchor. It learns to surrender its will to its master, for it has learned that the master is in control, and the master’s will cannot be disobeyed.”

  “…Okay,” Remmy said, confused.

  “One day the elephant grows up,” Gregor continued. “Over the years, the elephant has grown to be several times the size of his master. He is an immensely powerful beast. At any time he likes, he could easily tear his anchor out of the ground and trample his master to a pulp, and he would be free to go and do whatever he pleases.”

  “So why doesn’t he?” Remmy asked.

  “Because the mind is an absurdly powerful thing, Remmy,” Gregor said, and now his deep voice was barely more than a whisper. “And what it perceives as impossible shall be impossible. Conversely, what it perceives to be possible…” He held out the stone once more.

  “Breathe, son,” Gregor said in a low growl. “Go back to a time and find where your mind was before this neutralizing nonsense. Remember how it felt to control your magic. Let that feeling wash over you. Breathe. Just breathe.”

  Remmy reached out a trembling hand, and held it open a few feet away from the stone. He let out a long, low sigh, closed his eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths. Soon his thoughts lingered on his breath, and his conscious thought seemed to fade away, as if some part of him had gone to sleep. And suddenly, in the depths of his mind, a vision came to him. It was a bright, summer day. The window was open, and a sweet, warm air flooded in through the windows. He was on his bed playing with toys. With a wave of his arms, he could effortlessly send his little figurines flying about the room. He smiled as he watched them whiz from side to side, each toy perfectly responding to his slightest whim.

  “Perhaps you ought to open your eyes, Remmy.”

  Remmy opened his eyes, and his heart leapt in his chest. His hand was bathed in a subtle green aura, and the stone was likewise shining a pale green as it hovered a few inches above Gregor’s open hand. Remmy stared wide-eyed at the stone for a moment before an enormous smile broke across his face.

  “John!” Remmy shouted, his voice cracking. He was too excited to maintain the connection. His magic was dispelled at once, and the stone fell back into Gregor’s hand. “John! You’re not going to believe this!” Remmy shouted again, now turning back to the cottage. But Gregor caught Remmy by the collar just as he began to run toward the barn.

  “Hold on, Remmy. We have more to discuss.”

  “Like what?” Remmy asked impatiently. But despite his annoyance with Gregor, he could not stop beaming. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and his vision seemed to blur around the edges. His excitement at this incredible revelation seemed to overcome his every other concern.

  “Your blessings,” Gregor said.

  “What about them?” Remmy asked.

  “I simply wanted to inform you that your particular choice of words in your prayer of blessing was… poor.”

  “But you said my blessings work,” Remmy said with a frown.

  “And they do,” Gregor said. “But the words you use when praying for any particular blessing will influence the blessing itself.”

  “But why would it matter?” Remmy asked. “I was always under the impression that as long as you make your intentions clear, the gods will understand your prayers and act accordingly. What’s the point of changing up the prayer as long as you’re focusing on which blessing you want to use?”

  Gregor let out a low, cynical laugh. “Words have meaning, Remmy, but their significance to others—and, more importantly, to yourself—have an incredible impact on the strength and character of your magic.”

  Remmy frowned. “What do you mean, Gregor?”

  Gregor rolled his eyes. “I guess you need a demonstration then? Sure. I suppose you think I’ve got little else to do.”

  “Let’s not be dramatic,” Remmy said.

>   “Consider the basic blessing of agility,” Gregor said, ignoring Remmy’s remark. “You ought to know it. The spell which makes your allies quicker and more dexterous. What words would you choose when making such a prayer?”

  Remmy’s eyes searched the clouds above as he considered the question.

  “Well, there’s ‘run,’ ‘running,’ ‘quick,’ ‘quickly,’ ‘fast,’…” Remmy paused, lost in thought. “… ‘fastly,’ ‘fastish,’ ‘fasting,’…”

  “Stop,” Gregor interrupted, shaking his head. “You’re missing the point completely. Allow me to show you what happens when we do things your way,” he said, raising his right hand toward Remmy. “Run,” he muttered.

  A gentle light pulsed from Gregor’s hand and shot toward Remmy.

  Remmy was struck with a stiff breeze which seemed to swirl around his whole body starting from his head all the way down to his feet. When the blessing was complete, an itching, tingling sensation spread through the soles of his feet, urging him to move. Without waiting from instruction, he ran around Gregor’s barn as fast as he could.

  “Seems it worked just fine!” he shouted as he finished his lap around the barn and continued in a broad circle around Gregor.

  “Bah, ‘fine,’ you say. Stay still for a moment. Time to show you a thing or two…”

  Remmy took a few bounding steps to slow his momentum. He stopped in front of Gregor and waited as he raised up his hand again. Gregor drew in a deep breath. “By God’s grace, let him fly!”

  Remmy recoiled as a blinding light overwhelmed him. Suddenly, he was struck with a power unlike anything he had ever felt before. An abundant energy flowed through him, demanding an outlet. He sprinted around the farm at an unnatural pace, his legs barely able to keep up with the will of his mind to push Gregor’s blessing to its limit.

  “All right, that’s enough of that,” Gregor said. With a short wave of his hand, the blessing ceased. Remmy was mid-stride, and the blessing’s abrupt disappearance caused him to fall forward. He struck the ground and bounced several times before coming to an uneasy halt at Gregor’s feet.

  “Do you see what I mean now?” Gregor said, smirking down at Remmy.

  “I think so,” Remmy said, coughing out chunks of dirt.

  “Excellent. Just something to keep in mind when you and your little friends are off in that cave, eh?”

  “Yes sir,” Remmy moaned.

  “Glad you understand,” Gregor said. “When you’re able to get up, meet me in my cottage. You ought to have something to eat and a decent rest before you take off along with the others.”

  Chapter 25

  The Caves

  “Do you have everything you need for your journey?”

  Gregor was watching John, Rialta, and Lorenza as they packed their bags beside his cottage. They had just finished eating a very generous breakfast consisting of eggs, bread, cheese, and apples, and Gregor had even brewed enough coffee for each of them to have a large mugful.

  “I think so,” Rialta said. “Thank you once again for the food. We truly appreciate it.”

  “You’re very welcome,” Gregor said.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Remmy asked as he picked up his own bag.

  “Quite sure,” Gregor said. “I’ve seen quite enough strife for a lifetime, and I’m not keen to subject myself to more. But please do me a favor and send me a missive if you all manage to make it out of there alive.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gregor,” Lorenza said.

  Gregor smirked. “Are you sure you couldn’t do with a bit more food before you’re off?”

  “We’ve got plenty,” John said as he heaved his bag and one of the packed tents onto his back.

  “All right then,” Gregor said with a sigh. “Best of luck to all of you.” And with that, he turned to head back into his cottage.

  Rialta and the others wasted no time in beginning their trek up the hillside on the far end of the Plains. Although there was a dirt path for them to follow, the hill on this side of the Plains was so densely lush with trees and bushes that the path ahead often became difficult to see. Nevertheless, they pressed forward, making steady progress through the remainder of the morning.

  “I think I hear the waterfall up ahead,” Rialta said. She could hear the dull roar of crashing water in the distance.

  Sure enough, the path seemed to level out, and the sound of the water grew louder. The ground to their left began to drop off at a steep angle, dropping down at least fifty feet to the bank of a rushing river. Each of them instinctively edged toward the right side of the trail as they continued forward, eager to avoid the chance of slipping and falling down toward the river. After following the path along the river for only a few more minutes, they came upon the waterfall. Crystal-clear, bubbling blue water gathered in a natural reservoir on a rocky cliffside beside the trail. The reservoir ended at a narrow, craggy edge where the water spilled into the river below.

  “This must be it,” John said, pointing to a rocky outcropping. Rialta followed him as he approached what appeared to be the entrance to the cave they had been looking for.

  When she crossed the threshold, however, she was confused to find that the caves were reasonably well-lit. Torches lined the walls of the caves stretching down a long corridor toward an unnatural structure comprised of strange-looking pulleys and gears which were attached to a metal platform on the floor.

  “What is that?” Remmy said as they approached the strange device.

  “I think it’s a sort of elevator,” Rialta said. “It must extend down into the caverns below.”

  “Didn’t Remmy say that these gremlins are smarter than sheepstalkers?” Lorenza asked.

  “He did, but he also mentioned they aren’t anywhere near as violent. At the end of the day, who cares? We still need to steal their sapphire or ruby or whatever the hell it is one way or another. Shall we get going then?” John asked, nodding toward the elevator platform.

  “I don’t see any other way forward,” Lorenza said as she casually strolled onto the elevator platform. “There’s a crank right here,” she added. There was a large wooden handle protruding from the side of the elevator shaft. “This must be what operates it.”

  Everyone huddled onto the platform alongside Lorenza. An awkward silence fell among them, and they all looked to John, who sighed and stepped toward the crank. With a heaving grunt, he began to turn the crank, and they slowly descended into the cavern.

  Within minutes, they arrived at the floor of a massive circular chamber. Here, torches hung all along the walls, and a roughly fashioned iron chandelier holding several more torches hung from the ceiling on a length of thick chain. The orange light of the torches was so bright that despite knowing that these were indeed underground caverns, Rialta felt as though she was about to walk into the entrance of a church or a temple.

  Knowing her luck with John and Remmy as well as she did by now, Rialta was fully anticipating a frantic, chaotic battle to break out the second they stepped into the room. But despite her expectations, the chamber seemed to be completely deserted. There was nothing here at all except an occasional stalagmite or stalactite, and an ominous series of metal bars which had been worked into the stone walls on the far end of the chamber—apparently to form a sort of makeshift prison.

  “What is this place?” Lorenza asked as everyone began to step off the elevator platform. Though her voice was barely louder than a whisper, it echoed throughout the chamber.

  “Keep your voice down,” John whispered. “The echoes in here could give us away.”

  “Right you are,” Lorenza whispered back. “But where are we supposed to go? It looks like every corner of the cavern is sealed off from here.”

  Nivin nudged Lorenza’s shoulder, and made a broad sweeping gesture with his hand.

  Let’s just have a look around and see what we can find.

  “I think Nivin’s right,” Rialta said. “It doesn’t look like any
one’s around. We might as well see what’s down here. Maybe we’ll be lucky and the emerald is in this chamber so we can get out of here.”

  “I doubt it,” John said. “I’ve been stealing things for a long time. It’s never as easy or straightforward as you want it to be.”

  “Look up there,” Rialta said, pointing to a gleam of light coming from what looked like a gap in the wall. “What’s that?”

  They all proceeded up to the glimmer of light to find a heap of large boulders roughly stacked up against a wooden archway that had apparently been constructed to support a tunnel that led out of the large chamber.

  “Someone wanted to seal off this path,” Remmy said as he eyed the large boulders.

  “They did a pretty half-assed job though,” John replied. “There’s still a pretty decent gap between these boulders and the wall,” he said, pointing to a very narrow path between the boulders.

  “Decent my ass,” Lorenza said. “Remmy and Rialta are the only ones small enough to fit through that gap. We’ll need to clear the way a bit more before we can all go through.”

  “You’re probably right. Nivin, help me move these boulders out of the way,” John said.

  Lorenza cleared her throat.

  “Oh, right,” John said as he grabbed a boulder in each of his arms. “Remmy, you should help me out as well.”

  “That’s not what I was getting at,” Lorenza said. “I was trying to tell you that I ought to be the one to help you move those boulders. Neither Remmy nor Nivin could possibly move any of them with those little stick arms of theirs. No offense.”