Just Like Heaven

by T L Bradford

  Then like a dark fog clouding his mind, the understanding sets in his mind. “Noah, what the hell did he do to you while you lived with him?”

  “I don’t have time to explain here. Give me the keys, and I’ll explain in the Jeep on the way. Are you coming?”

  Jacob looks unsure, then hands the keys over to me, leaves a note for Kai, and we are on our way.

  I plug the address into my phone. It’s about 45 minutes away. While I’m driving, I give him the entire sordid breakdown of my time living with my father. At one point I have to pull over so that he can vomit out the side of the Jeep.

  When he gets back in, he is sweaty and shaky. “For the love of Christ Noah, how could you keep something like that from your mother and me? He should be in prison.”

  “He could get away with anything. And he did. He believes he is invincible, but he’s wrong.”

  On the ride over, thoughts of Josh race through my mind. No matter what the outcome is for me, he’ll get his justice. I’ll see to that.

  The place we are meeting is a small nondescript building. It looks like it may have been an old restaurant at some point. The awning is faded, and few people roam the area. I get out of the Jeep and Jacob follows me.

  “No, I have to do this alone.”

  “You saw what he did to Josh. You have no idea how many people could be in there.”

  “I know my father. He wants this glory all to himself. He’ll be alone.”

  “There is no way on earth I’m letting you go in there alone. After what you just told me, this is my fight as well.” I nod my head in silent agreement, and we approach the building.

  The place has been in disuse for many years. Sheets drape tables and chairs as well as the large bar. He’s not in the room. A man like Tobias has to make an entrance. And he does, shortly after I sit down near the bar.

  I haven’t seen the man in 10 years. He looks the same as he ever did, with thick black hair, and a trim mustache. His age is only betrayed by the silver streaks that accent his temples. As I regard him, I stare back into my own eyes.

  Tobias wears a dark charcoal colored suit and tie. Everywhere he goes, he carries a cane that resembles a staff. It is an affectation solely for the benefit of his parishioners. He calls it his “Staff of Will.” My face has met the end of that staff many times growing up.

  By far, the most disturbing aspect of his character is the huge, bright smile which affixes his face, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

  He is taller than me by a few inches, but I stand, extending myself to my full height to meet him head-on. “No rest for the wicked, or so they say. And I see you brought company. It’s been a long time Jacob,” Tobias taunts in his slow southern drawl.

  “I don’t want to endure your presence for one second longer than necessary. So, I’ll get straight to the point. What righteous God could possibly justify beating and maiming an innocent man?” I’m seething.

  “I can tell you without hesitation that my justification comes directly from the Lord Almighty himself.”

  “Are you seriously telling me your God told you to do this?”

  “Why, yes, indeed. The good Lord has always trusted me to right the ways of the sinners. Your relationship with that man is a culmination of all that is vile and unholy.”

  My eyes are trapped in his oblivious expression. He honestly believes this. He thinks he’s doing the Lord’s work. The intensity factor of this situation just shot up. Tobias had always been a devout follower of his faith, but he had not crossed the line into a crazed religious zealot. Until now.

  “I lost my way many years ago when I met your mother, but I have straightened my path and righted course under my faith. You know, your mother was a whore. She used her wiles to capture men. She set her eyes on me, and she lured me from the light.”

  Jacob becomes incensed and gets up in Tobias’s face. “You shut your filthy mouth,” he hisses, spittle flying from his lips.

  “What the hell are you talking about Tobias?” I say, confused, and getting more than a little concerned. I attempt to put my body between Jacob and Tobias.

  “The female, son, has an innate sense for how to trigger sinful thoughts in a man. Isn’t that right, Jacob? I fell prey to your mother. She used her body to manipulate me; then, she wielded that power to steal my seed. She then passed on her corrupt soul into you. You see Noah, that is why you are a wrongful abomination.” Jacob loses his temper and pushes me out of the way to get to Tobias. He shoves him, backing him up against the bar.

  “Tobias, I swear to God, one more word from you and I’ll end you,” Jacob says.

  Tobias continues speaking to me over his shoulder, ignoring Jacob’s warning. “She was wanton and depraved. My child never stood a chance to be sanctified. I watched that perversion take root in you from an early age and spread throughout your immoral soul.”

  Jacob grabs hold of his collar and starts to twist it. Still, he continues his hateful spiel.

  “I saw the weakness in you early on, yes, I did. You suckled the breast far past your time then clung to your mother’s skirts to escape the shadows. Then came the boy. I saw it all. A look here, a touch there. The foul curse of homosexuality coursed through your perverse veins. The devil had entered your soul and laid rest. It was too late. He made you twisted and vulgar. I was lax and backsliding. I had failed my Lord by being weak and allowing you to exist. I could not complete what needed to be done. I sympathized with and had empathy for the devil, but that is no longer the case.”

  Jacob has his collar so tight that he can barely get the words out of his mouth.

  “I found my righteous path again, and I plan to correct the wrong I made years ago and set myself right with the Lord. Son, I am here to save you. I am going to release that evil from your soul and send it back to hell. We can do this together. We can cleanse your soul son. You can finally be free! You can be sanctified at last!” His face is red and sweating from the exertion of trying to breathe.

  What happens next is so quick, my brain has no time to register what is happening. Tobias reaches behind his back and pulls out an icepick. Jacob sees the weapon but is a second too late to move. Tobias plunges the icepick down and lands a straight shot into Jacob’s torso. He crumples to the ground in pain with eyes open wide in shock. Blood pumps out of his side.

  “Oh my god. You are completely insane!” I scream. His expression cracks for a split second, seemingly bristling at my observation.

  “No, you are wrong. I have finally seen the light. Let’s walk into it together. Redeem your soul before it’s too late!” His smile turns menacing, and he glowers at me. He plunges the icepick down again and narrowly misses my chest. I quickly move around the table and jump to the other side, putting distance between us.

  He is manic, blinded by his purpose, and ready to harm me in any way possible. What he doesn’t know is that I came prepared to fight. From behind my back, I produce a semi-automatic and point it directly at Tobias’s chest.

  “There’s no need for that son, put it away,” he croons persuasively.

  “I won’t.”

  “It’s senseless. You won’t kill me. You don’t have the stomach for it.”

  “But you do, don’t you?”

  “I do what simply needs to be done,” he states pragmatically. I hit the release on the gun.

  “Well, look at you. Did the boy finally become a man? Do you think you have what it takes to pull that trigger? Because I don’t think you do. You were always spineless. Running away every opportunity you had instead of standing your ground like a man. You are a waste of human life, a mere piece of filth that got stuck between my toes. You are of no use to anyone.

  “You were afraid of anything and everything. Then you’d go crying to that whore mother of yours who would spoil you rotten, making you soft. How could you be my son? You don’t measure up. My bloodline included Kings and Queens, men of honor and strength. What did I get? A pretender to the throne is what I got. An inept co
py of the child I was destined to have.”

  My trigger finger starts to shake, and I start to sweat profusely. I am focused solely on him and his words.

  He’s run across an old scar, and he sees it in my expression. Now he intends to scratch it until the scab comes off and begins bleeding again. “I mean, what kind of real man has panic attacks, anyway?” He’s hitting too close to home.

  “How did those start, anyway? Oh, yes, I remember now. Do you remember those days, boy? What were you scared of? Huh? What went bump in the night? Who was your boogie man?” His eyes sharpen, and the bright smile has left, what it is replaced with, is a maniacal scowl.

  “Was it me? Were you scared of me, boy? Why were you scared of me? Am I triggering a memory? Because I can recall how you would cower and shake in front of me.

  “Remember what that was like? When you were wicked, I would take you down to the cellar, that cold and dark place you feared so much. You would cry and wail like the miscreant you were. Let’s revisit that place, shall we? It was small and cramped. Not even enough space for you to lay comfortably. And that was important wasn’t it because sometimes you would be down there for days repenting your sins. Days and days. In the pitch dark.” I try hard to keep the visions at bay, but the memories of that hell hole come flooding into my mind like I was just there yesterday.

  “It smelled fetid and sour. You hated it there. You screamed and hollered, but no one came to save you, did they? No. And what happened when the boogie man made an appearance? You became fearful and would soil your clothes with your own waste. Tell me, Noah, what would he do to you?”

  Lost in time, I am back in the cellar. I look around the 4x4 foot room with the filthy pet bed on the floor. I scream and yell for my mother to save me, but no one comes. No one ever comes. I feel for the door in the dark and claw at it. My fingernails tear and leave bloody streaks and grooves in the wood. The air is rancid from my bodily waste. My only escape from this place is to enter a whole other level of hell. The only way out was to take punishment from Tobias.

  I feel like I am 12 years old again in front of Tobias, and he is ready to deliver my castigation. Memories flood my brain, and I am useless to stop them. To my chagrin, I feel wetness down the front of my jeans. I have lost control of my bodily functions. I am paralyzed. He’s inside my head.

  “Some things never change, do they?” he sneers, seeing my body’s betrayal. “The Staff of Will would make you understand the ill of your ways. Isn’t that right? Now, repeat the words with me, Noah, what would we say?”

  “No!” I yell, feeling all resolve in me begin to crumble.

  “Say it, say it with me, Noah. You remember the words. ‘With every hack, there will be a crack,’ say it, Noah!”

  “Don’t!” I’m falling, falling back into a time when I was defenseless and alone. I’m falling back into the hole.

  “With every hack, there will be a crack. With every hack, there will be a crack. With every hack, there will be a crack!” he chants maniacally.

  “Stop!” I lament, tears streaming down my face, and then I crumple to the floor. This is the mantra I would be forced to repeat for each bone he cracked in my body. He takes the gun from my hands as I fall apart. I feel his hand gently caress the top of my head, kneading his fingers through my hair. He leans over to place a small kiss on my forehead.

  “I want you to know, those were the last words I said to him,” Tobias says very quietly.

  “What the hell did you just say?” I ask, his words breaking the haze in my mind.

  “To your lover. That was the last thing I said to him…before I broke his face apart.”

  All rational thought vanishes, and I am an animal using my most base instincts. I leap from the floor, grab around his torso and tackle him to the ground, knocking the gun out of his hand and under the bar.

  Though older, Tobias is still a force to be reckoned with. We struggle on the ground, me trying desperately to keep him pinned beneath me. As we tussle, we slide in the blood from Jacob’s wound. From my point of view, I can see him on the floor, trying to pull himself toward me, making a long blood trail beneath him.

  Tobias has a weight advantage and moves to flip me over beneath him. I try to move my leg around to stop him and knee his groin, but he has me pinned under his weight. He takes both of his hands and places them around my neck, then he squeezes, tight. The bloodlust in his eyes is diabolic. He tilts his head back, closes his eyes, and lets out a moan. To anyone seeing his expression, it could almost be characterized as some orgasmic coming to faith, an intense rapture.

  The edges of my vision are dimming, and I see dark spots before me. He is choking me, and I am dying. The strength in my arms goes lax as he snuffs the last breath of air out of my lungs. The dim light turns luminescent white for a few moments. I drift in a haze for a while until I feel a pain in my chest. It feels like I am being stabbed. But, I’m not, what I felt was the rush of air back into my lungs as I took a giant breath. I’m alive. I feel my back arch as I breathe again. My eyes open. I see Jacob hovering over Tobias holding the staff in his hand. Tobias has a gash on his forehead and is lying on the ground. It must have taken the rest of his strength to do it because Jacob falls to the floor gasping.

  Sensing I have very little time, I crawl toward Jacob and check him, he’s holding on, but needs help fast. I scan the ground for the staff, find it and stagger over to Tobias who is attempting to pull himself up from the ground.

  I take the opportunity to place the staff on his chest to pin him back down to the ground. “Come on, do it, boy. For once in your worthless life, show me some strength.”

  Supporting myself in my weakened state, I put my palm on the handle of the staff and pick up the end from his chest, then I place it delicately over his throat.

  “Once again, you haven’t got the guts,” he jeers me.

  “That’s where you’re wrong.”

  Sneering, he says, “My only regret is that he didn’t die slower.”

  A flash of white-hot rage blinds me. I push the staff down onto his throat, slow and steady, blocking his windpipe. I watch as his face morphs from a smug smile into a pained expression. The entire time we keep our eyes locked. Silver-green wolf eyes ablaze, I watch him until those eyes no longer focus.

  “Noah! Stop! Don’t kill him! Josh needs you! You can’t go to prison for this piece of filth. What will you do if he pulls through, and you’re not there to be with him?” Jacob tries to reason.

  Josh’s name snaps me out of my deadly trance.

  “For a piece of shit like him, there will be worse ways to die,” Jacob says.

  I pull the staff away, but he is not moving. I step away from Tobias’s body and look at what I have done. He is pale, and his eyes are wide-open, but not blinking.

  Jacob pulls himself over to Tobias to put his fingers on his neck artery. “He still has a pulse, but it’s very faint.”

  I collapse to the floor in a daze. “Noah, listen to me, you forget everything that madman said. None of it’s true.” I start to shake and tremble. I may have done it. I may have killed my father. I glance over at his unmoving body and retreat to that place in my mind where I find comfort. I bring my knees up to my forehead, turn over on my side into a ball and begin to rock back and forth.

  It takes several hours; then, I am released from the police station to go home. Kai is waiting at the door up in arms about us up and leaving him there with only a note. I cannot think about anything else, though, and go upstairs without a word. I shower and lie down in our bed, staring up at the ceiling and clutching Josh’s pillow.

  Chapter 46

  Josh

  The need to quench my thirst is almost unbearable. I think my tongue may be swelling. I run my tongue in front of my teeth. Wait, that’s not right. I do it again. Holy fuck. Some of my teeth are missing! I try to open my eyes, but they feel like they are crusted over. Why is it so dark? Did Noah get new blinds? Eventually, I can open my left eye with a lot of ef
fort. I’m in bed, but it’s not my bed. Noah is next to me asleep, sitting up. I think he’s holding my hand. I squeeze my hand a little to get his attention since my throat does not want to cooperate with me.

  I see him stir, then open those beautiful eyes. I try to smile, but I’m not able to move my face. With my one eye open, I scan the room and see monitors and computers all over the room. The flat screen TV is on some court show program. I’m in a hospital. I start to panic, and the heart monitors go off. Noah is fully awake now.

  “Josh? Josh babe! Oh shit! Let me get the doctor. Stay right here. What the fuck am I saying, you’re not going anywhere!” he yells, then he’s out the door. A minute later, Noah is back with whom I assume is my doctor. She comes up close next to me and shines a bright light into my eye. I still can’t say anything. It takes me a minute to figure out why. There is a tube attached to my throat. I dart my eyes around in desperation toward Noah, waiting for him to explain what the hell is happening.

  Instead, my doctor answers, “Josh, I know you can hear me, but you cannot speak right now. You don’t have to. I’m going to let you know where you are. You are at Cedar Sinai Hospital. You have some very serious injuries, but we have been taking good care of you.” She smiles slightly, trying to lessen the blow. I try to lift my arms and move, but my movements are restricted by the large apparatus on my left arm. I have a huge cast. It looks like it has been signed by tons of people. How long have I been here?

  She does several more tests, and then a herd of other medical technicians enter the room. I am poked and prodded from every angle. Noah stays in the room, awaiting his time. I hear him on the phone making calls to my family.

  He leans over the bed to talk to me. “I just talked to Chloe. They are all on their way. They should be here in about twenty minutes.” I furrow my brow wondering how that is possible. As if he understands me, he says, “They are all here. Well, Xander and Zach had to go back for work, but they planned to come back when you woke up.” I mumble something around the breathing tube, but it’s unintelligible.