The Moth and the Flame

by Reid, B. B.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, little Valentine.”

  I continued to stare at the bag like it was a bomb. “What is it?”

  “The idea is for you to open it and see.”

  “No. Tell me,” I demanded more forcefully.

  “Open it, Lou.” I met his gaze, and a silent battle of wills ensued. Off in the distance, I heard the school bell ring, and I knew he heard it too when he said, “You’re late, and I’ve got nowhere to be.”

  “I find that hard to believe. After all, there’s no shortage of innocent people in need of terrorizing.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Yes, I thought so.” I peeled aside the gift paper and peered inside. Frowning, I reached in and pulled out the transparent glass sphere depicting snow falling over the city. “A snow globe? But I’m not a tourist.”

  “Besides the clothes that you couldn’t be bothered to fold or hang, your room was noticeably bare of the things that led you here…to me. There were no memories, Lou.”

  “They’re gone,” I said after a long heavy silence.

  “What’s gone?” I couldn’t see his frown since I was watching the snow falling, but I heard it in his tone.

  “The memories. My parents took them when they left.”

  I let him lift my chin and brush away the tear I didn’t know had fallen. “Then we’ll make new ones.” I felt his other hand cover mine, the one holding the globe. “And we’ll start with this. To remind you of the night we met.”

  The flame in his eyes danced as he stared back at me, and only now when it was too late did I realize there would be a cost to letting him get close.

  My heart.

  The price I paid one day would be my heart.

  Two Years Later

  “CHECKMATE.”

  I took a sip of my drink as my opponent giddily tallied up her points.

  “Twenty-two points,” she announced before marking them on the notepad next to her.

  “You’re cheating,” I seethed.

  The sharp look Kendra gave me could have cut through steel. “And you must be sore from all the losing.”

  Kendra was not only an escort but one of our most popular, and my personal favorite although not for the reasons anyone might assume. She had the smoothest dark brown skin, almond-shaped eyes, full lips that beckoned, and jet-black dreads that curled around tits that must have been molded by God himself. However, it was the humor, wit, and mettle the other girls in Fox’s stable lost to drugs and abuse a long time ago that drew me to her. She started escorting for Exiled a few weeks after my initiation, and our first meeting nearly five years ago hadn’t exactly gone well.

  Swallowing the sour taste the memory left on my tongue, I grumbled, “You don’t get to brag when you’re only ahead by ten points.”

  “Winning is winning,” she boasted with a sly smile.

  I ignored her wagging tongue and arranged the tiles to spell devotion before frowning at the board. The last three words I’d played had been desire, denial, and agony.

  “Oooh,” Kendra said with an exaggerated wince. “Twelve points.” She marked my points down, and after playing her turn, she stared at me. “Something bothering you?”

  “No,” I lied. “Why?”

  “Because I can tell you’re a million miles away, and it’s making you suck at Scrabble more than usual.”

  I took the time to spell out duty before answering her. “I told you we should have played spades.”

  “Eight points,” she mumbled while writing it down. “And you suck at cards, too.”

  I rotated my shoulders in agitation and refrained from getting up to pace the room like a caged lion, which was precisely how I felt—bound and hungry.

  “Baby, you’re really tense,” Kendra cooed. She stood from her chair—the red silk robe I’d gifted her falling open to reveal her naked body—and came around to stand behind me. I felt her breasts against my back as she leaned into me and ran her hands from my fists resting on the table, up along my arms until, finally, she gripped my shoulders. My head fell forward as she began manipulating the tense muscles there. “How’s that feel?”

  The only response I could manage was to release a groan loud enough to be heard anywhere in the large two-story house. At that moment, I didn’t give a shit about anything but her small hands kneading away weeks, months, two years of tension.

  That lasted until I felt teeth nipping at the shell of my ear and heard the flirtation in Kendra’s voice when she said, “You know well by now that there’s more where that came from.”

  “Don’t start something we can’t finish,” I flirted back while wearing a crooked smile.

  Those magical hands fell away, and I looked back in time to see her prop them on generous hips. “And why not?”

  “Because it’s bad for business,” I said, knowing it was a lame excuse. Fox allowed Exiled to indulge as long as the men paid in full and kept their fists to themselves. In fact, he insisted on it. It was his idea of keeping up the morale, and the men were more than willing to take advantage. Their only concern when they walked through those doors after a long day was their cocks. Keeping the girls safe never entered their minds, which left me as the sole defender of their well-being. Kendra had been an amazing teacher, but for her and the other girls’ sake, I could no longer allow sex with her to distract me.

  I’d come by as often as I could for as long as I could to ensure things were running smoothly and the girls were treated well. Not only did the johns sometimes get out of hand but so did the round-the-clock guards we kept here to make sure that didn’t happen. I can’t recall how many broken ribs and kneecaps I’ve dealt in exchange for the black eyes and busted lips given to the girls. Kendra, in particular, had been on the receiving end of many disgruntled customers’ fists. She had a way with her mouth that gave men immense pleasure only to bruise their ego when she finished. If she didn’t make us more money than she cost us, Fox would have disposed of her a long time ago. That didn’t stop me from warning her repeatedly to keep her head down, though. Fox was neither tolerant nor merciful.

  “Or maybe,” Kendra teased, pulling me from my thoughts by palming my cock through my jeans, “you’re not as worried about business as you are of that gorgeous little monster finding out about us.”

  At the mention of Lou, I stood rather abruptly, almost toppling the chair and knocking Kendra over in the process. My cock was straining against my zipper, threatening to break free, and I told myself it was because of the woman offering herself to me and not the girl I couldn’t have. Turning, I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “There is no us, and she’s none of your business.”

  She scoffed while tying her robe together. “You can’t be that possessive and protective and expect anyone to believe you don’t have feelings for her.”

  I groaned, regretting the day I’d foolishly allowed Kendra to find out about Lou. I’d been in the middle of one of my visits when Lou video called. I had let it ring, intending to return her call when I finished conducting business. However, Lou, refusing to be ignored, had rung incessantly until I finally gave in and answered. I must have scolded her for ten minutes straight, knowing everything I was saying was going in one ear and out the other.

  Kendra had naïvely stepped in to save a helpless Lou from my tirade by snatching my phone and introducing herself, but the reception she received had been…chilly. Lou wordlessly stared back at a smiling, unsuspecting Kendra until she got the message and awkwardly returned my phone. I could tell the encounter had flustered Kendra and wished like hell I could have warned her before she set herself up for failure. Lou, on the other hand, pretended nothing happened and chattered about everything under the sun, rarely stopping to take a breath.

  “She’s my friend,” I explained for what might have been the hundredth time. “That means my protection comes with the territory.” Besides, Kendra had already learned the hard way that however possessive I seemed, Lou was ten times worse. She was a far cry from th
e girl who couldn’t wait to get away from me two years ago.

  “We’re friends,” Kendra argued, waving her hand back and forth between us. “You’re in so deep with her that you don’t even know how far you’ve fallen, but you’re smart enough to know you can’t ignore it forever.”

  “My mistake. I must have forgotten to mention that she’s my best friend.” After two years, I knew I was beginning to sound like a broken record and that soon, my ears would be bleeding. In the beginning, I wanted Lou to the point of distraction, but the closer we grew, the better I was able to exorcise those thoughts from my mind.

  Mostly.

  I knew I wasn’t completely cured, and now that the bandage was beginning to peel, I wondered how long it would be before my heart was an open wound again. It was nothing compared to the pain Lou would feel when she eventually discovered the truth about me.

  I was a monster, after all.

  She didn’t approve of my fealty to Exiled, and her feelings have only grown in the time since she’d convinced herself that some good still resided inside of me. If she only knew that Fox, Exiled’s leader, wasn’t the one to recruit me, but that it was me doing the corrupting all along.

  Three years after my mother’s death, I signed along the dotted line and accepted a life that was mine to inherit from the moment I took my first breath.

  “If only everyone had a best friend who becomes as rabid and bloodthirsty as you do if someone so much as blinks at them wrong,” Kendra mused. “It’s hard not to feel slighted. We were friends longer, but you call Lou your best friend.”

  I could only shrug in response. Some friendships became threadbare, holding on for as long as they could, while others never stopped pushing for a stronger foundation. Lou challenged me to be a better person. Kendra only reminded me that I wasn’t.

  Noticing my nonchalance, Kendra smiled and tilted her head. “It’s no wonder Lou sunk her teeth in you so deep you couldn’t possibly walk away without leaving a piece of yourself behind.”

  I frowned and chose to focus on the part that didn’t threaten my sanity or make my heart beat out of control. “You don’t think I’d kill for you?”

  She gave me a look that said she was on to me. “Maybe, if it was the right thing to do, but you’d not only kill for her—you’d die for her and wouldn’t think twice about it.”

  I felt exposed as I stared back at Kendra while fighting to conceal my guilt. It was as if she’d run her finger under every line of my conscience, reading me as easily as an open book. Somewhere along the way, I’d made a vow. I wouldn’t take life and forfeit my soul. Not without exhausting all options. Not for Fox and not for the men I called my brothers.

  But for Lou?

  I’d gladly leave it wrapped with a shiny red bow at hell’s door.

  “You shouldn’t romanticize,” I advised as I headed for the door. I needed to get out of there fast before I did something stupid like begging Kendra for advice on how to make Lou mine. “I’d hate to break your heart.”

  I already had one foot out the door, eager for a quick escape, when I heard her mumble, “It’s not my heart you should be worried about.”

  My grip on the doorknob tightened until I threatened to rip it off completely.

  “It’s always a pleasure,” I threw over my shoulder before slamming the door behind me. As Kendra’s cackles trailed me down the hall, I began to understand how men could be driven to violence in her presence. She never fucking let up.

  Downstairs, I headed for the kitchen, following the enticing smells permeating the air. Most of the girls were able to fend for themselves and were pretty decent cooks, but there was only one who could create something this mouthwatering.

  I stepped inside the modernized kitchen and found Irma hovering over the flattop stove. Her dark hair was in a messy bun high on her head, and the strands that escaped stuck to her sweaty nape. The stylish red frames perched on her thin nose were mostly fogged from the heat, making me wonder how she could see what she was doing.

  “You’re just in time,” she said without looking up from whatever she was sautéing. “I fixed you a plate.”

  Ignoring the plate of steaming roasted chicken, rice, and carrots waiting for me on the island, I walked over to the stove and kissed her flour-dusted cheek.

  “Don’t toy with me, young man. You’ll give this old woman hope.”

  I laughed and copped a squat on one of the stools, drooling over the food she’d prepared. It was quite a spread for the middle of the day. “Age is only a number,” I flirted.

  “That’s it,” she said as she turned and pointed her spatula at me. “No dessert for you.”

  “What if I told you forty-five was the new thirty-five and that you don’t look a day over twenty-five?”

  “I’d say you have two slices of my lemon meringue coming your way.” She winked before turning off the stove and wiping her hands on the bright blue apron wrapped around her waist. “Your mother would be proud, you know,” she gently said, and I was glad my mouth was full of her tender, juicy chicken, saving me from having to respond. “Before you, there was no one to look out for us.” She palmed my cheek when I couldn’t hide my surprise at the emotion in her voice and finally met her tearful gaze. “No one to care as much as you do.”

  “It’s nothing,” I said, shrugging as if that proved my point.

  “You don’t believe that. I know you must wonder, just as I do, that if someone had been here to stand up for us all those years ago, your mom might still be with us today.”

  “Enough,” I snapped. Wiping my mouth with a cloth napkin, I regained my footing while holding Irma’s gaze. “There was nothing you nor I could have done to change what happened. It was an accident.”

  She looked away just as a lone tear escaped her eye. Irma had been my mom’s best friend and another one of Fox’s escorts until he deemed her too old to turn a profit. Most women would have taken their freedom and ran for the hills, but Irma had refused to leave the girls and became their unofficial house mother instead. Before Kendra, Irma was Fox’s top girl, but even she had been expendable. My mom…she lost some of her value when she fell in love with the wrong man and had his baby.

  “Stop that,” I said before pulling Irma into my arms. “She wouldn’t want you blaming yourself or getting upset again.”

  “Oh, you’re right.” She wiped her eyes and stepped away. “Finish your food,” she ordered once she’d regained control of her emotions. “I’ll get your room ready and put fresh sheets down.”

  “Don’t bother,” I told her as I dropped down onto the stool. “I’m not staying.”

  Irma insisted on keeping my mother’s old room free for whenever I chose to stay a few nights. The unspoken reason had to do with me losing my shit the day I met Kendra. I’d caught her not only escorting a john from my mother’s room but wearing the robe I’d saved up my allowance to surprise her one Christmas. I hadn’t reacted well, and Kendra being Kendra hadn’t docilely stood by while I raged and, in return, spewed venom of her own. I apologized the next day by gifting her a silk robe three times more expensive, and Kendra had graciously accepted my apology by relieving me of my virginity. The next day, she moved out of my mom’s room despite my protests, and Irma has been sure to keep it empty ever since.

  “Then you be sure to tell Winny that I said hello,” she ordered, referring to my grandmother, who lived out in New Jersey.

  “I will,” I promised, not bothering to correct her on where I was actually headed.

  Satisfied, Irma floated from the kitchen, likely on the hunt for someone else in need of mothering.

  I was busy scarfing down the rest of my food when my phone buzzed in my pocket a few minutes later. Deciding whoever it was could wait, I continued eating. Five minutes later, my phone buzzed again, followed by a third, fourth, and fifth, each spaced less than a minute apart. Shoving aside my nearly empty plate, I released a string of curses as I yanked my phone from my jeans.

  There
was only one person this eager, or rather impatient, to get a hold of me.

  And I knew she’d shamelessly ring my phone back to back until the battery eventually died if she had to. A part of me wanted to believe she did it because she was frantic with worry, but I knew the little shit just didn’t like being ignored. Besides, she would never admit to being worried about me anyway.

  As I left the kitchen and headed for the front door, I bypassed reading the texts she’d sent and stabbed the video call button. After only a couple of rings, a fuzzy picture of a gray tiled ceiling appeared. A second later, the focus changed, and I was staring at a stony-eyed Lou. Her dark hair was haphazardly piled on top of her head, emphasizing her youth and making her look angelic.

  I could only sincerely accuse her of the former.

  Tearing my gaze away, I peered into her background, attempting to determine her location. A bulletin board covered with papers and the narrow wooden door next to it were my only clues.

  “I’m in class,” she confirmed through clenched teeth.

  I smirked, remembering that it was the middle of a school day and satisfied to have gotten under her skin. It was only fair since she seemed to live underneath mine. I checked to make sure her earbuds were in before asking, “Is your school on fire?”

  “No.”

  I sat on the hood of my car, planted my feet on the bumper, and rested my elbows on my knees. I was strangely content as the rest of the world and all the bad inside it melted away. There was only Lou.

  “Then what’s the emergency?”

  She paused, and I knew that if she weren’t trying to hide the fact that she’d taken a call during class, she’d be screaming in my ear.

  “You didn’t read my texts?”

  “I must have forgotten to.” And then I smiled, making her scowl deepen.

  She adjusted her position, and I narrowed my eyes at the writing on her chest. Surely my eyes were playing a cruel trick on me.