A Shop Girl at Sea

by Rachel Brimble

  ‘A few weeks. I travelled back to England on the Adriatic, the first ship to come back to England.’

  ‘You didn’t want to stay in America? They say Grand Central will be the biggest station ever built. I imagine someone like you, someone with clear bravery and an aptitude for risk, would want to be a part of that.’

  ‘I did, but my circumstances have changed. I have my family to think of.’

  ‘You’re married? Have children? They must have been terrified for you when the ship went down.’

  ‘Not a family of my own, sir. I’m talking about my mother and sisters.’

  ‘Ah, I see. Then they must be glad to have you home.’ The station master pulled a sheet containing Samuel’s past work experience towards him and perused it. ‘Here’s what I suggest. I’ll give you a position on the train running from Bath to Piccadilly. See how you go. You can start your training as a conductor, taking tickets and such like. If you find the job is not for you, I want you to tell me. You’re made of better stuff than a career travelling back and forth from Bath to London every day.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’

  The stationmaster stood and waved towards the closed office door. ‘I’ll see you first thing Monday morning, Mr Murphy,’ he said, his grey eyes sombre. ‘But keep in mind my door is always open if you should need to speak to me, or you find the job isn’t to your liking. You’ve been given a second chance. It’s your duty to ensure it doesn’t go to waste.’

  ‘Yes, sir. Thank you.’

  Walking from the station, Samuel dared to hope that not everyone would have the preconceived judgement of what the men aboard should or shouldn’t have been doing as the Titanic began its slow descent into the Atlantic’s freezing cold waters. As much as he felt New York was his destiny, for now, Samuel was stuck in England and the outcome of the disaster would undoubtedly be debated and talked about for years to come.

  He had no idea how he would learn to live with the speculation and conjecture, but he had no choice than to find a way.

  His mother had started to take care of herself and the house, Katherine had found a job at a small milliners and Fiona… well, she still had the father of her baby to track down. His niece or nephew was coming in the winter and, one way or another, Samuel would see he or she was properly cared for.

  Which meant he wasn’t going anywhere any day soon.

  Maybe coming home would turn out to be the mistake of his life, but he’d felt he had no choice. Of course, Amelia had been a big part of that decision, too. She still was.

  He walked along the bottom of Milsom Street and stared at Pennington’s façade. He longed to see her; longed to apologise for his absence since they’d sailed back to England.

  The horror of the Titanic sinking, and the lives lost, had affected the whole country in some way or another. His family included. He was pretty certain it would continue to do so for years to come. It certainly would affect him. He looked towards Pennington’s again. And it would most definitely affect the woman he hoped would one day be his.

  Fifty

  Amelia glanced at Ruby as they boarded the train at Bath station and took their seats. The younger woman looked happier than Amelia had ever seen her, and it seemed Amelia’s trepidation that Ruby might not welcome her return to the store had been unwarranted. In fact, Ruby had welcomed Amelia with open arms, embracing her input into the wedding display with gratitude and enthusiasm.

  Something deep had changed in Ruby, but Amelia wouldn’t ask. After all, she knew more than most the sacred privilege of a person’s secrets remaining their own.

  She pulled her notebook from her purse. ‘So, this is our first work trip to London, Ruby. How are you feeling?’

  ‘Wonderful.’ Ruby smiled, moving her gaze from the window and the bustling platform beyond. ‘I can’t believe Miss Pennington allowed us some time away just days before the big reveal. I suspect it was my talking about what Harrods might do if the window was theirs that inspired her.’

  ‘Or my non-stop chatter about RH Macy’s in New York,’ Amelia laughed. ‘I fear, between us, we are making Miss Pennington’s head spin.’

  Ruby frowned, her blue eyes clouding with concern. ‘You don’t think I’m getting too big for my boots, do you? I would hate for Miss Pennington to think I have ideas above my station. I am the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’d hate to do anything that might jeopardise that or make Miss Pennington regret the opportunities she’s given me.’

  Amelia patted her hand, understanding only too well the fear of losing confidence once it had been gained. ‘Miss Pennington’s mission is to scour new ideas from everyone around her. That’s what Pennington’s is all about. She works day and night to create ways to improve the store and the lives of her staff. Never resist being outspoken with her. She wants her staff to talk to her. Really.’

  Ruby nodded, her shoulders relaxing. ‘I’m glad. You see…’ Her gaze turned hesitant. ‘Without my mother’s shadow cast over me day in, day out, I feel like a different person and, with that, my enthusiasm to do well at the store grows and grows.’

  Amelia studied her young apprentice. Following a meeting with Mrs Woolden, Elizabeth had pulled Amelia to one side and asked that she keep an eye on Ruby, to watch for any maliciousness towards her by others in the store.

  Hazel Price in particular.

  Elizabeth hadn’t divulged the reason for her concern, so Amelia assumed it had come from Ruby leaving home with her brother. Either that, or the nature of Ruby’s relationship with Victoria Lark which Amelia suspected others at the store had been discussing and speculating about for months.

  ‘Well, long may your happiness last.’ Amelia smiled. ‘Now, I think we’ll visit Harrods and maybe Selfridge & Co, and then return to the store early this evening with a clear idea of any finishing touches we’d like to make to the window. I understand Esther is now moving to her husband’s country estate in Oxfordshire so, from now on, it’s you and me leading the way with the window designs.’ After opening her notebook, Amelia took out her pencil. ‘Let’s use this journey to start thinking a little further ahead, shall we? We’ll soon have the Autumn collections to consider and then it will be onto Christmas. Work in the design department is as non-stop as this train.’

  Greenery gave way to new, modern buildings as they sped towards London and Amelia was careful to write down Ruby’s ideas, encouraging her to expand on them wherever possible, encouraging her to take ownership of who she was and her own unique talents.

  Just as they were pulling out of Reading station, a figure appeared at the compartment door.

  Amelia looked up and gasped. ‘Samuel.’

  Her heart raced as she glanced at Ruby before turning to Samuel, noting his station uniform. Her cheeks warmed as she tried to gather her senses, shaken to see him working on the train. Ruby’s stare burned into her temple, yet Amelia couldn’t drag her gaze from Samuel’s. It felt like an age since she’d last seen him and her heart treacherously swelled with futile love for him. He had made it very clear he intended to return to New York. Something she could – or would – no longer do.

  ‘You’re working on the trains now?’

  His sombre gaze bore into hers, the brilliant blue of his eyes as dazzling as ever. ‘Have been for a few days. It’s been too long, Amelia. I’ve missed you.’

  The warmth at her cheeks grew hotter and she looked down at her notebook. Had Ruby turned invisible? ‘I hope you’re well.’

  ‘As can be expected.’

  The clipped tone of his voice did nothing to lessen her embarrassment. Surely he understood that she couldn’t speak freely with Ruby sitting next to her?

  Ruby rose from her seat. ‘Um, Miss Wakefield, I think I might take a walk along the train. The views will be so much lovelier from one of the corridor windows.’

  Ruby left the compartment and Samuel slid the door closed behind her.

  He immediately sank into the seat next to Amelia. ‘I only have a minute or two to ta
lk.’ His gaze travelled over her face making her heart beat a little faster. ‘I’ve wanted to come into the store so many times, but I’ve been running around all over the place. If I’m not working, I’m helping Ma or Fiona…’

  She slumped her shoulders, her care for him overriding every inch of her good sense. She’d missed him so, so much. ‘And you? Are you all right?’

  He sighed and gave a wry smile. ‘It turns out the big brother in me had no need to worry about one of my sisters, at least.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Katherine has managed to get a job by her own doing and didn’t need any interference from me. Now I just have Ma and Fiona to sort out.’

  Amelia smiled, pleased that his sister had proven herself capable. ‘So, does this mean you’re beginning to understand you are not solely responsible for your family? That they are more than competent to contribute to the house and their own wellbeing?’

  ‘With Katherine, yes, but Fiona continues to be a different problem entirely. As for Ma, she’ll be all right. Eventually.’

  Amelia stared at his mouth, his eyes and hair, her attraction and love towards him as strong as ever, despite the time they’d been apart. Maybe there was a chance he’d decide to stay in England, after all. ‘Samuel—’

  ‘I still plan to go back to New York. Back to Grand Central.’

  She froze as a sharp pain hitched across her heart.

  ‘I think about New York every day, regardless of my commitments here. I just can’t shake the feeling I’m not where I’m supposed to be.’

  The urge to ask him to stay, for them to try to build a life in Bath, battled on her tongue and Amelia quickly looked to the window, lest he see her distress. ‘I see.’

  Sickness coated her throat as her heart broke. Once Samuel left, she would never see him again; she truly believed she’d never love again. How would she ever find a man to measure up to him? To be brave enough, kind enough, strong enough to shoulder all that Samuel knew her to be?

  ‘I really thought I could stay here, work on the railway and look after my family, but I feel like every day is a wasted opportunity. Amelia?’ He touched her shoulder. ‘Won’t you look at me?’

  She closed her eyes, gathered her strength and faced him. ‘You should go. To New York.’

  Hurt flashed in his eyes before he nodded, his gaze steadfastly on hers. ‘You really think that?’

  ‘Yes.’ She lifted her chin, despising the painful ache around her heart. ‘I always encouraged you to follow your dreams and you were happy in America. You didn’t leave New York for you, you left for your family and, deep inside, you know they are capable of looking after themselves. It would be wrong for you not to pursue the life you want.’

  ‘And what about you?’

  She swallowed and fought to draw as much authority into her words as possible. ‘My place is here. Working at Pennington’s.’

  With each silent second, the more bitter the nausea coating Amelia’s throat became. Go, Samuel. I’m not strong enough for you to look at me that way. Don’t you see you’re the only man I’ve ever trusted? The only man I’ve ever loved?

  Slowly, he stood, and when he looked down at his ticket holder, Amelia noticed his fingers ever so slightly trembled. ‘You know, when we were in New York I had every intention of being with you for the rest of my life.’

  Tears burned the back of her eyes. ‘What?’ she whispered.

  ‘I mean it, Amelia. I wanted to be with you forever, but now I see we’re never going to be on the same page at the same time. Never going to be ready to reach for our destinies, to fight for what we want and have those two things come together for us at the right time.’ His gaze was soft with care and sadness. ‘Take care of yourself, won’t you?’

  He strode to the door and Amelia stood, not sure what to do or say, but not wanting him to leave.

  She rushed into the narrow corridor, heedless to Ruby standing a short distance away. ‘Samuel!’

  He immediately stopped, his back to her as he tilted his gaze to the ceiling.

  Holding on to the bars beside her, she walked along the jolting train and placed her hand on his back. Slowly, he turned, his eyes glinting with defeat beneath the electric lights.

  She touched his face. ‘Don’t leave. Stay in Bath. With me. I love you.’

  Fifty-One

  The screaming and shouting outside his house hit Samuel before he’d turned the corner into the street. Fiona’s high-pitched screech was immediately followed by his mother’s deeper pleas for her daughter to come back into the house.

  He broke into a run.

  Half the neighbourhood stood on their doorsteps watching the spectacle of his family playing out their latest drama in full public view. Samuel swore under his breath as his gaze landed on a young, thickset man in the centre of the commotion. His face was red with exertion, his dark-blond hair awry as he restrained Fiona from physically attacking her mother.

  Is he the father of Fiona’s unborn babe? Samuel briefly closed his eyes. God, give me strength…

  ‘Knock it off, Fiona,’ Samuel shouted as he came closer. He faced his mother. ‘Go inside, Ma. I’ll take it from here.’

  His mother hesitated, tears glinting in her eyes, before she turned and ambled towards the house.

  Samuel looked at his sister and glared. ‘You, too.’

  ‘But, Sam—’

  ‘Now, I mean it.’ He turned his focus on the stranger. ‘You stay right where you are.’ He turned around to the spectators circled around him and those watching from the other side of the narrow street. ‘Show’s over. I suggest you get back to your business.’

  His mother and sister stood on the short pathway to their front door, his ma damn near crying and Fiona looking like she wanted nothing more than to wring his neck. Samuel narrowed his eyes. ‘Get inside. Now.’

  He succeeded in staring Fiona down and she dutifully escorted their mother into the house. The door remained wide open.

  He faced the man nursing a red mark on his jaw and nodded. ‘Courtesy of my sister, I assume?’ He held out his hand, gauging the man’s six feet height and shoulders not much narrower. ‘Samuel Murphy. You are?’

  ‘Benedict Brown.’ He shook Samuel’s hand, his brown eyes quietly appraising. ‘I came to speak to your sister, but it seems she wants to forget the talking and march me up the aisle.’

  Samuel crossed his arms. ‘And will you?’

  ‘Will I what?’

  ‘Walk my sister up the aisle… or at least the registry office.’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You don’t know?’ Samuel huffed a laugh. ‘You think you’ve got the privilege of thinking about this now? Don’t you think that smacks of locking the gate after the horse has bolted? My sister’s carrying your baby. Now, are you going to do the right thing or are we going to have a problem?’

  Benedict held Samuel’s stare before slumping onto the wall beside them. He ran his hand over his face. ‘I carry coal for a living, Mr Murphy. I live with my ma and help support my four younger brothers and sisters. I’ve got nothing to offer a girl like Fiona. She deserves more than me. Much more. I’d marry her tomorrow if I could, but I haven’t a pot to piss in.’

  A girl like Fiona? Samuel didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. If this man looked at his sister and saw a match made in heaven, there was no way Samuel was going to disillusion him.

  He sat beside him on the wall. ‘So, what are your options? Have you room at home for my sister to come live with you?’

  ‘I can’t see my mother agreeing to that. We’re already like sardines and what with the baby coming…’

  ‘I see.’

  Benedict looked towards the house. ‘But I suppose we could make it work if Fiona was willing, but… I’m not sure my mother will love her as I do.’

  ‘You love her?’

  Benedict grinned, her grey eyes lighting. ‘With all my heart.’

  Biting back a smile, Samuel sighed. ‘Right then, this
is what is going to happen. I’ll make it my job to sort you out with a cheap suit and Fiona with a cheap dress, we head down to the registry office before she starts showing and then she moves in with you. I don’t want your ma going without the earnings you’re giving her, and Fiona will help out with your brothers and sisters before and after the baby comes. How does that sound?’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Fiona’s screech came from an upstairs window behind them. ‘Don’t you chase him off, Sam. We love each other. He’ll see me right once he runs the coal yard. Isn’t that right, Ben?’

  Samuel raised his eyebrow at Benedict. ‘That’s what you’ve told her? You’ll be running the yard one day?’

  The other man shrugged. ‘A man can dream, can’t he? I love her, Mr Murphy. I just want to make sure she has good reason to love me back.’

  Benedict dropped his head as though the prospect of having more than what he had right now was dire. Samuel sympathised with him. At least the man had a dream. That in itself was enough to make Samuel want to help him.

  Samuel pushed to his feet. ‘Go into the house and make nice with Ma. When I come back, I’m expecting everybody to be in a much happier mood considering you’ve asked Fiona to marry you. In the meantime, I’ll think how we’re going to make the rest work.’

  Fiona came barrelling through the front door and stood in front of them, her face red with anger. ‘Don’t you make him leave, Sam. I mean it. You don’t get to tell me what to do when you disappeared for weeks, leaving us starving and neglected. You can do whatever you like, when you like, but the rest of us can’t so why don’t you just go back to America? You’re not wanted here.’

  ‘Is that so?’ Samuel looked at Benedict. ‘You might live to regret it, but you know what you need to do. Go on in the house. I’ll be back later.’

  Samuel walked along the street and through the town centre, heading for the river.

  What in God’s name was he supposed to do now that he’d laid down the law to a complete stranger about how his life was going to play out for the next six months? The only thing Samuel did know was he couldn’t stay here anymore.