Sunset Over Misty Lake

by Margaret Standafer

  “Do you think you could talk to her? Do you think it would help? That you could get through to her? Please?”

  “I’ll try, of course I’ll try, but again, I’m afraid I’m too close to her.” Sam paused and chewed on her lip. “If neither you nor I get anywhere with her, I think you might have to consider going to her doctor yourself and talking with her. She sees Annie Hilliard, doesn’t she?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “I know, it seems like you’re somehow violating Karen’s privacy, that you’re going against her wishes, but if she won’t seek help on her own, you have to do it for her. It might seem harsh, but it’s important. If it continues unchecked, she might…she could…there’s the chance…”

  Joe knew where she was going, and his stomach lurched. “You’re thinking she’ll hurt herself, or one of the kids. I read about that possibility.”

  Sam twisted her hands and looked miserable. “I don’t think so, I really don’t, but can you take that chance?” Sam answered her question before Joe could. “You can’t. You can’t let her reach a point where she’d even consider something like that. If it’s as bad as you say, and since you know her better than anyone, I’m sure you’re right, you have to help her.”

  Claire had tired of investigating the contents of the diaper bag and began rubbing at her eyes. Joe knew it meant they were nearly out of time.

  “Okay. You’re right, I can’t let it go on. I’ll talk to her, I’ll try to get her to go on Thursday evening, and, if you don’t mind, maybe you can try too.” Sam nodded. “I love her so much, it’s tearing me in two seeing her like this and unable to help. Mom told me I have to be patient, understanding. I know she’s right, and I’m trying, but it’s getting harder.”

  “Of course, take Anna’s advice, but I’m guessing Anna doesn’t know the whole story?” When Joe shook his head, Sam continued. “If she did, I have to believe she’d tell you the same thing I’m telling you. You can’t help Karen by yourself. What you can do is see that she gets the help she needs.”

  Sam shouldered the diaper bag and then picked up Claire who had started to cry, fat tears rolling down her round, pink cheeks.

  “You’ll get through it, Joe. You two have one of the strongest relationships I’ve ever seen. It will get you through.”

  Joe nodded and wished he could believe Sam’s words.

  “I really hope you’re both there Thursday evening. It sounds like fun, doesn’t it?”

  “Fun? Um, I don’t know about fun.”

  Sam laughed. “I haven’t been to a yoga class since the time Shauna made us all run through a session in the school gym. I’ve had a baby since then. If I can handle a class, you can too.”

  Sam pulled the bedroom door open, then turned to look at Joe. He hadn’t moved from the bed.

  “That’s not what I’m worried about. The yoga I can handle. It’s the other stuff.” His voice dropped to a terrified whisper. “What exactly goes on at a spa?”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  KAREN TOSSED THE throw pillows on the chair while Joe turned down the bed. She tried to remember if she’d made the bed that morning or if she should thank Joe for doing it, but found she had no idea. Oh well, it had gotten done. More than she could say for the majority of the chores she used to do with hardly a thought. Laundry was overflowing the basket in the corner of the room and the ironing pile was taller than Dylan. She hadn’t cooked a meal—an actual not-just-warm-up-something meal—since before the twins’ birth. Pathetic, she knew, but considering the mountain of food in their freezer, she didn’t see the point. The dishwasher no longer got emptied, she just plucked clean things out as they were needed, piled dirty things in the sink until she’d used up all the clean things, then dropped the dirty in the dishwasher to start the process over. A couple of months ago, she’d have found the very thought horrifying. Now, she wondered why she hadn’t adopted the genius practice years earlier.

  It may be only nine o’clock, but since they’d learned to sleep when the opportunity presented itself, they were both ready to climb into bed. Karen hadn’t napped, as she’d told Joe she would, while he’d been gone with the kids. She hadn’t accomplished much of anything. Since he’d been home, she’d worked to steer the small snatches of conversation they’d managed to what had gone on at Sean and Anna’s so hadn’t had to field many questions about how she’d spent her afternoon. An incredible relief, as she was so tired of lying.

  Joe stripped down to his boxers then plugged in his phone to charge before falling into bed with an audible sigh.

  “Does your phone need charging? I can plug it in with mine.”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t had it on today.”

  She picked it up, turned it over in her hand, and because there’d be questions if she didn’t check, turned it on. Missed texts and calls flashed on the screen. She scrolled through them, deleting them without really reading them. The phone chimed with an incoming message just as she was ready to power it down again. She glanced at it, turned to Joe, and fought to keep her nerves and temper in check.

  “What’s Shauna talking about? Thursday night? She hopes I’ll say yes? What does that mean?”

  Joe rubbed both hands over his face, then up through his hair. “I meant to talk to you about that.”

  “About what? What’s Thursday night?” Karen hardly recognized the person who was terror-stricken at the thought of some sort of get-together. What happened to the woman who’d always been the one to plan the get-togethers? Who couldn’t wait for a reason to have a crowd in her house?

  “Hear me out, okay?”

  “Well, that sounds ominous.”

  “It’s not. Shauna and Cort asked everyone to come to the studio on Thursday evening for a run-through of their classes and the spa stuff. They want their employees to get the practice, to see if they’ve forgotten anything, or if anything doesn’t work as it’s supposed to, I guess. Shauna’s so excited about it and she really wants you there.”

  Karen was shaking her head long before Joe finished. “You go. I’m fine here with the kids.”

  “She wants both of us there.”

  Karen blew out a harsh laugh. “Both of us? You told her that’s impossible, right?”

  “I did, but you know Shauna.”

  “Joe, there’s no way we can both go. We have three kids. Three! Even if I’d consider leaving them, it would have to be family at this point and, well, if all your family is going to be at Shauna’s place, that doesn’t give us many options, does it? I can’t expect my mom to handle all three of them by herself. It’s just not possible. No way.”

  Her voice turned shriller with each word and, though she hadn’t realized it, she’d paced a vicious circle around the room, grabbing cast-off clothes as she walked and flinging them into a pile on the chair.

  “Karen.” Joe got out of bed and took her hand. She tried to pull it away, but he wouldn’t let go. “Karen,” he repeated.

  “I’m sorry, Joe.” She breathed out the words as exhaustion overwhelmed her. She felt certain if Joe hadn’t been holding on to her, her legs would have given out and she’d have found herself on the floor. She let Joe lead her to their bed, then let him pull her close.

  “If you don’t want to go, we won’t go,” he said as he stroked his free hand over her hair and down her back.

  “It’s that I can’t go, not that I don’t want to go. You have to understand I can’t leave them. I have to be with them, I have to feed the twins, I have to make sure Dylan’s not feeling neglected, I have to—”

  “I had them today. They were fine.”

  “Well, sure, but there was an entire houseful of people to help you. Not that you can’t handle them, you can, probably, but it’s a lot. I can’t leave them with someone else yet. It’s too soon.”

  “Okay, but I have to warn you, Shauna’s going to call you.”

  “Oh, Joe, talk to her for me. Please. Wish her luck, tell her I wish I could be there, that if the twins weren’t so y
oung I would be, but don’t make me talk to her.”

  “Ah, I guess I could try, but she said she’d like to come over, Wednesday morning I think, to help out for a while. I can try to talk her out of it, but she’s worried once they open, she’s going to be so busy, she may not have a chance for a long time. She wants to help, wants to do what she can.”

  “Fine,” Karen sighed. “Wednesday’s fine.”

  Joe was quiet, but Karen could feel him fidgeting. When he couldn’t settle down, she knew there was something on his mind.

  “What is it? What do you have to tell me?”

  “Shauna already talked to your mom about Thursday evening. It just sort of happened, I guess. They ran into one another at the store or somewhere. Your mom asked about the studio, Shauna updated her and mentioned the plans for Thursday, and your mom offered to come stay with the kids and to bring Kelly along with her if you’d agree to go out for a couple of hours.”

  Karen groaned. “Is everyone in on this? Everyone’s ganging up on me? We have to get Karen out of the house, she’s losing her mind?”

  “You know it’s not like that.”

  “It’s exactly like that.” She pulled away from Joe and sat up in the bed. “I’m fine, and I wish everyone would stop thinking otherwise. Okay, so your mom had twins once upon a time, but other than that, none of them have any idea what this is like, so they need to back off.”

  “Everyone thinks you’re doing an incredible job. They all told me as much today. Everyone who has been by to see you, to visit, said the same thing. No one thinks you’re losing your mind.”

  Except me, Karen thought to herself. “Fine, but I’m not going Thursday night, and now I’m tired and I’m going to sleep while I can.”

  With that, Karen turned her back to Joe and willed herself to sleep.

  Monday mornings were even worse when you didn’t get any sleep, Joe thought as he pulled himself from his car, shouldered his backpack, and grabbed the extra-large travel mug of coffee he’d brewed before leaving home. He’d left home without a jacket, counting on the day to warm, but for now he shoved his free hand in his pants pocket to ward off the cold. His mother had been right. Winter wasn’t quite ready to let go. A thin layer of frost glittered on the grass that ringed the parking lot and that struggled toward its spring green.

  The parking lot was quiet, which meant the school would be quiet. Just as he’d hoped. Every morning during the past week he’d rushed in minutes before the first bell, but today he’d wanted to be early. He had phone calls to make. Phone calls he didn’t want Karen to hear.

  He chided himself for being a chicken as he made the short walk to his office. He’d been prepared to go to sleep, avoiding any potential conflict the night before, and would have done so if Karen hadn’t gotten the text from Shauna. For as much as he’d psyched himself up for a talk with Karen, once he’d gotten home from his parents’, once he and Karen had gotten through the evening routine without incident and had gotten all three kids to sleep, the last thing he’d wanted to do was risk upsetting his wife. He knew he had to talk to her, he’d replayed his conversation with Sam a dozen times in his head and knew he had to find a way to help Karen, but he’d selfishly chickened out. He was ashamed of himself and vowed the selfishness ended now as he dropped into his chair and picked up his phone.

  His first call was to Shauna. It was early, but he knew she’d be awake. Her grand opening was only five days away. She might be sleeping less than he was. Still, Joe was relieved when his call went to voicemail. He told himself he’d have won this particular battle with Shauna, that leaving a message wasn’t the coward’s way out, then proceeded to explain to the recording that he and Karen wouldn’t be able to attend Thursday evening’s festivities.

  That done, he searched his phone for the number Annie had given him when Karen had been discharged from the hospital. Karen’s doctor had seemed sincere when she’d told Joe to call her directly if he had any questions or concerns. Joe hoped she’d meant it as he dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

  “Dr. Hilliard.”

  “Dr. Hilliard, Annie, it’s Joe McCabe.”

  “Joe, how are you? And how are Karen and those babies?”

  “Good, I’m good. The kids are doing well. Growing and already running the show.”

  Annie laughed, a happy lilting sound that Joe guessed went far to putting her patients at ease. “They have a way of doing that, don’t they?”

  “They sure do. Dylan’s not quite sure what to make of the disturbance in the force, but he’s handling it pretty well.”

  “It’s always an adjustment when there’s a new sibling to tilt the balance of power. I’m glad the kids are well, but I doubt you called to chat. Since you haven’t mentioned Karen, I have to assume you have some concerns.”

  Joe rested his elbow on his desk and dropped his head into his hand, appreciating the doctor’s smooth transition to the matter at hand, but still unsure of what, exactly, to say.

  “You know, doctor, I’m sitting here at school, behind my desk, and even though I’m reminding myself I’m the teacher, I can’t help but feel like I’m tattling.”

  There was a quick burst of her tinkling laughter again, but when she spoke, her voice was serious.

  “It’s not tattling. You’re concerned and you’re trying to help. Tell me what’s going on.”

  Haltingly at first, but gaining confidence as he got further into his story, Joe explained Karen’s symptoms, her moods, and his concerns.

  “I read about postpartum depression and it sounds a lot like what I’m seeing from Karen. She’s not herself, she seems to be getting worse instead of better, and I’m out of ideas on how to help her.”

  “Okay, a couple of things. First, I’m glad you called. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to make the call, to feel like you’re going behind her back, but better safe than sorry. That said, I’d caution you on getting ahead of yourself. While those self-diagnosis websites can be helpful and can serve a certain purpose, they aren’t a substitute for an in-person evaluation. Karen may very well be showing symptoms of PPD, but she could also simply be under a great deal of stress and that stress could be manifesting itself with the same sort of signs you’d see with PPD. I’ve had people in my office convinced they have everything from cat scratch fever to a water allergy. Needless to say, they didn’t, but those in-person exams did lead to uncovering other conditions. Have her schedule an appointment. It will put everyone’s mind at ease.”

  “Well, that’s the problem. Karen’s not very receptive to my suggestions right now. I thought maybe you could, you know, make an appointment for her? Come up with a reason she needs to see you?”

  “Joe, I can’t…” Annie started in what Joe recognized as her doctor voice as he knew he had a similar teacher voice, but she quickly stopped. “Hmmm. I do need to check her hemoglobin, she was a little anemic after the twins were born, I could push it up a bit if you’re concerned.”

  Joe blew out the breath he’d been holding. “Thanks, Dr. Hilliard, that’d be great. How soon do you think you can get her in? I don’t mean to be pushy, but I think the sooner the better.”

  “You’re not being pushy.” He could hear her clicking on her keyboard. “I could squeeze her in tomorrow afternoon, around two o’clock. I’ll have my nurse call her. Jeanette doesn’t take no for an answer.”

  “Tomorrow is perfect. I’ll see she’s there. Thank you, thank you very much.”

  “You’re welcome. Now relax and don’t worry about something that may or may not actually be something.”

  Joe ended the call feeling somewhat better. He’d have to make sure Karen went to the appointment, but the timing couldn’t have been better. With the next day being an early release day for students and an in-service day for staff, he figured he could sneak out early and be home to stay with the kids, giving Karen no excuse to avoid her appointment.

  The fact that he didn’t break out into a sweat at the thought o
f his first extended time alone with all the kids went a long way toward reinforcing to himself just how worried he was about his wife and that he’d done the right thing calling Annie.

  It was nine hours later when Joe headed home, the longest day he’d clocked since bringing the twins home from the hospital. A phone call and two texts to Karen—one of the texts answered—had somewhat assuaged his guilt. The day had warmed some from the frigid morning temperatures, but if there’d been any sun, he’d missed it. Now, the clouds were gathering, and the wind was blowing.

  As soon as he walked through the door from the garage to the house, Dylan launched himself at Joe’s legs.

  “Out, Daddy, out!” Dylan shouted as he tried to pull Joe, by the legs, back out the door.

  “Whoa, buddy, how about hello?”

  Joe stumbled across the room with Dylan holding on for the ride, to Karen, snuggled on the sofa with both babies.

  “Hi, honey, how was your day? I hope he hasn’t been yelling like this all day.”

  Joe leaned over and kissed Karen’s cheek, then the tops of the twins’ heads.

  “Oh, just the past three hours, or so. He wants to go outside, but it’s too cold and windy for the babies. He’s not taking ‘no’ very well.”

  “Out, out!” Dylan tried again.

  Joe turned his back to Dylan and whispered to Karen, “Should I take him outside for a while or do you want me to get dinner ready? Or help with something else?”

  “Take him outside if you don’t mind. He needs to run, he’s been cooped up in here too long today. Clearly,” she added as they watched Dylan, who had turned his attention to the rocking chair, was standing on it, rocking it as hard as he could with his arms out to the side for balance, and looking like a crazed surfer.