Love Drunk

by T. L Smith

  Hands roam my breasts, pinching at each nipple as he drives inside me, in and out, punishing me for something I didn’t know I needed punishment for.

  I don’t care, though, despite the pain he’s inflicting—and believe me, there’s a pain. My nipples feel like they’re on fire, my neck has bite marks that I can feel burning through my skin. The thing is, I’m enjoying it.

  I don’t understand it.

  I don’t know why.

  But I do.

  Maybe it’s all him.

  Or maybe my past lovers were gentle men, and I didn’t know this is the type of sex I wanted.

  Pulling out of me, his hands leave my breasts and he turns me around. My panties are broken, my bra strap has been snapped.

  He cups my ass and lifts me onto the edge of the yacht. One step, one push, and I’ll fall. The water is definitely freezing. I look past him to see if anyone’s watching, but I can’t see anyone lurking around. Only dark soulless eyes staring back at me. I flinch when I look into them. Something about those eyes reminds me of something or someone, but I don’t know who. Before I can give too much thought to that, he pushes me back, so I’m hanging from the edge. His hands cover mine then slide up to my hips.

  “Let go, bunny.”

  My instincts tell me not to. That it would be the stupidest thing I could possibly do.

  Looking down at my hands then back to him, his gaze paralyzes me into doing what he says. It’s like I’m his own living, breathing puppet.

  Not in this sane world would I willingly drop my hands from the edge that’s holding me. A slow smirk appears, which accompanies his lifeless eyes, as I lift my hands at his command. He makes me give him more power than I anticipated, but like a puppet, I let him direct my every move. Even when his hand comes to my throat, while the other holds my back, keeping me from falling over the edge.

  Something passes over his eyes like a soft gaze, and then it’s gone before I can fully take in what I saw when it switches back to the darkness. Maybe I imagined it. But what happens next makes me scream.

  His hand leaves my back. Then in a movement so fast, that same hand comes to my throat, joining the hand already there. He could drop me at any second and I could fall. I know I’d drown before anyone would save me.

  “You’re scared.”

  I don’t even attempt to nod my head, I’m too afraid.

  He pushes toward me with his body, his cock lines up at my entrance. “Push me in, bunny.”

  My hands which were at my sides grab his cock and line it up perfectly.

  “Good girl. Now you will be rewarded. But no grabbing the railing. Do you understand?”

  I nod, my hands touch him instead.

  “No.” The word is short, sharp and straight to the point. “Touch yourself.”

  My hands reach between his which are still glued to my neck then he pushes all the way inside me. My first instinct is to arch to him, but I’m way too afraid to move. His hands are tighter on my neck now, and soon, if he squeezes just a little bit more, he may kill me, or I’ll pass out, I’m not sure which. The oxygen deprivation is causing me to go lightheaded, and I can see stars forming behind my eyelids when I close them.

  Gunner’s hips thrust. My hands grab hold of my breasts, as if it will help me from falling as he punishes me with his cock and strangles me with his hands.

  The moans of pleasure come, and I soon forget what’s happening. That there is a man hanging me over the edge of a yacht with his hands around my throat as he fucks me. And that I’m about to come so fucking hard in a matter of seconds because the thrill, the danger, the thought of it all is just so much that my body’s only response is to take everything he’s giving and ride with it.

  “That’s a good bunny.”

  My air is becoming more and more cut off as he tightens his grip on my neck, and just as I think I’m about to pass out, one hand is gone from my throat and is replaced on my lower back, holding me still as I come undone.

  Gunner holds me to him then slowly releases my neck as he lifts my ass from the railing and holds me up, pushing me up and down. The rhythm does great things for my clit, and I can feel the orgasm building, so much so that I don’t know if I can hold on any longer. My hands fall free from around his neck, and my body goes into a state of pure fucking bliss as my head drops back, my eyes flutter, and oh fuck!

  This is heaven.

  Right here.

  With the devil, as he chokes me.

  Who would have thought it?

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” It’s the most real thing he’s ever said to me. So much so that I don’t fully hear him. I think the world is playing tricks on me, so I choose not to reply as he lifts and carries me inside, placing me down and throwing a cover over my naked body.

  “Sleep, I’ll take you home.”

  I do, just as he says.

  8

  I wake up in bed with no sight of him. I remember Gunner carrying me in and then stumbling to the bathroom. After that, I had the best night’s sleep imaginable. A bang comes on my front door. Getting up, I realize it’s the noise that woke me up in the first place. Pulling on a gown, I walk out of my room to find May on the other side of the door holding two coffees.

  “Well, you look like you just woke up from the best sex dream ever. Ha! Look at your hair.” She grabs a piece, pulling it. I walk to the microwave to see my reflection, and sure enough, it’s everywhere.

  “Best sex. Definitely not a dream.”

  May’s eyes roam around the apartment. “Is he here?”

  “No.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Damn.” Sitting on my sofa, she pulls her legs up under her. “I sure did pick good, though, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, you did.” I take a sip of the coffee walking to sit next to her.

  “So, is the sex epic? Or is he a dud? I mean you said you had epic sex, but was it with Mr. Dark and Steamy?”

  “Oh yes, it’s epic, all right. And he’s the only man I’m sleeping with.”

  “Are you the only woman he’s sleeping with?”

  Oh shit! I didn’t think of that.

  “That look tells me you haven’t discussed that part of the equation.”

  “He doesn’t believe in love, and he doesn’t do relationships. How am I meant to ask him to not fuck other women?”

  May waves her hand around. Her hair is done perfectly. I check the time. Shit! I haven’t slept in this late for so long, I didn’t know I could anymore. I guess a sex coma can do that to you.

  “What’s that, on your neck?” May moves my dressing gown and gasps loudly. “You weren’t joking about the choking?”

  I give her a look of disbelief. How could she possibly know about that? Reaching for her phone, I pull up the camera app and sure enough, my neck is covered in black and purple bruising. Yeah, that shit’s going to be hard to hide, I think to myself.

  “It was consensual.”

  “Oh Ev, you don’t need to sing approval to me. You look royally fucked and happy. I don’t care how you get off.” She winks. “If choking’s your thing then that’s good. I like to be spanked every now and then.”

  I laugh and pull the gown up covering my neck. I’ll have to dig in my closet and see if I have a turtleneck to cover it for work.

  “So, you don’t know what you two are?”

  I shrug. “I think it’s just sex. Is it easy? Just sex?” I ask her. She likes to just have sex with the men she meets, and not form relationships. I, on the other hand, usually form relationships.

  “I don’t think for you. Sorry, Ev.” Her hand lays on mine. “But maybe he’ll change his mind?”

  “No, he won’t.” I don’t doubt that statement, but I also don’t know how long I’m willing to put up with it. How long until I fall and there’s no coming back? That’s what I don’t want to happen.

  Maybe no more dating, just sex.

  “I’ll be back.” I run to my room to grab my phone. Pulling up his number I text him.

/>   * * *

  Me: No more dating, just sex.

  * * *

  “What did you do?” May asks looking at the phone in my hand.

  “I made a decision.” I show her the text and she laughs while shaking her head.

  “I don’t know if you can stick to that. But I do hope so for your sake.” She gets up to leave so I can get ready to head to the café. “I’ll be in later to take some photos.” She kisses me goodbye, and when she leaves, I dig through everything I have to find the turtleneck sweater. It’s completely nineties, but I can pull it off. I did once. Throwing up my hair in a nice high ponytail, and pairing it with some tight jeans and a long coat with heels, I leave.

  It doesn’t take me long to arrive at the café. I moved closer to the location for this exact reason, so if I’m running late it won’t affect me too much. When I walk in, the manager has opened and it’s busy with the morning rush. I help her until things calm down and then get to cooking.

  Suddenly, the hairs on my neck stand up. Turning slowly, I spot him. Standing at the door but not entering. He’s watching me watch him. Gunner’s dressed much like he always is, in a designer suit. This one, though, is dark blue with a light tie. He looks incredible as always with his hair pulled back.

  Finishing up an order I walk over to him. His eyes track me the whole time, not leaving me until I reach him. When they flicker to my neck, which is covered by my turtleneck, they come back to me. He doesn’t move from his position.

  “Hi.” I give him a small wave and instantly regret it. He makes me feel like a schoolgirl with a gigantic crush. “What are you doing here?” I finally manage to get out with a straight face.

  “No dating?” he asks, raising one eyebrow waiting for me to respond.

  “I think it’s for the best, don’t you?”

  His hands come to the front of him, and he slides his fingers together. “Why?”

  I shrug.

  “You know. Now tell me, Everly.” He’s so demanding.

  “You said… you don’t do relationships. I do. That’s an issue for me. Sex is the safe zone, at least for now.” He doesn’t respond. “And, are you sleeping with any other women?”

  “Would this bother you?”

  I shrug again.

  “Everly, words… I need them.”

  “Yes. Yes, it would bother me.”

  “I won’t.”

  I nod my head. “Thank you.”

  He reaches up with his hand and touches my neck. I flinch, not because he might cause me pain, but because I don’t want him to pull it down in case anyone sees the marks.

  “I have to work.”

  “Tonight,” he says pushing away from the wall he was leaning against.

  “No, not tonight.”

  Gunner leans in close, his hand touches my face. “You don’t want me?”

  I nod my head while leaning into his touch. “I do.”

  “Good. Give me a key.”

  “Whaaat?” I ask in disbelief.

  “A key to your apartment, Everly. Give me one.”

  “Why?”

  His finger trails down to my breast, slowly, deftly, and his eyes follow the path.

  “So I can come in to fuck you any time I get the urge. Since you don’t want me fucking anyone else, you will have to fulfill all my pleasure.”

  I reach into my pocket and pull my key off the ring and hand it to him like a fuckhead. But I’m under a spell, I swear.

  “This also means you aren’t allowed to fuck anyone else but me. Understand?”

  “And what if I get the urge?”

  He leans in closer to my ear and bites it. “Find me. I’ll be happy to fulfill all your fantasies and pleasure.”

  My eyes are closed and when I reopen them, he’s standing tall again watching me. Our bodies are separated. No more of his hands touching me, making me stupid for him. He smells of cigarette smoke and sex.

  Or maybe I think that because I want sex.

  Shit! I can’t be trusted around him. At all.

  My name is called, and he looks into the restaurant then back at me. “I’ll see you tonight, Everly.”

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him no, but it doesn’t come out. He seems to stand there waiting for me to say it, but when he realizes I’m mute, he smirks before he turns and walks away to his waiting car.

  I’m still standing there long after he’s gone, wondering how I just became that woman. That woman who says yes to everything for a man.

  And that’s when I realize I’ve just become my mother.

  Fuck me drunk.

  “He’s turning me into a lovesick fool. Can you believe it? He’s making me do things I don’t even want to do.” I drop my head into my hands and wait for her to speak. She doesn’t, so I continue, “I mean, I let him do things he shouldn’t be able to do to me. May, look at my neck for fuck’s sake.”

  “Ummm… don’t say another word.”

  “What do you mean don’t say another word, did you just hear what I said?” I look at her to see her watching something behind me.

  I spin around and see Alec walking in. May goes quiet when he’s near. She has a major crush. Major.

  “Take a deep breath and think of him like any other guy.” I pat her shoulder as I stand when Alec reaches us.

  He engulfs me in a hug then slowly puts me back down. “May! Haven’t seen you for ages.” He smiles, but it’s not the smile he gives me, the one where it’s large and welcoming. This one is reserved.

  “Yeah, so Ev, I’m gonna head off. See you later, okay?” May gets up and quickly turns, walking away fast.

  “You always scare off my friends,” I say while shaking my head as I watch May run away. We sit and my manager brings over two coffees, and I thank her as she walks away.

  “Please, you only have one friend and she runs every time I’m near.”

  “I have more than one friend.” I scoff at his choice of words.

  “Please, squirt. Who? Name another, other than me.”

  Damn! Well, I was going to say him.

  “Exactly,” he points out.

  “Your father wants to talk to you.”

  Of course, he’s here for him.

  “I don’t want to talk. I’m happy right now. Leave me happy,” I say crossing my hands over my chest. I know it’s about taking over the business and me stepping up, but I don’t want to. I’m happy doing what I am doing right here.

  “I can only hold him off for so long, squirt. You know this.” He looks around. “Fucking hell, it’s like a pink unicorn threw up in here.”

  I smile.

  “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

  He smiles back. “Sooo, I heard your mother mention you were seeing someone. Why haven’t you told me?”

  I shrug. I usually tell him everything, but that doesn’t mean I’ll introduce him to all the men I see. You saw how May just ran away before. Well, imagine a grown-ass man doing the same thing. It happens, trust me.

  “It’s nothing serious,” I say referring to Gunner.

  “I hope so.” He says it with an edge to his voice I don’t question because if he wanted me to know he would tell me. “I won’t be at lunch this week… you’ll have to fend for yourself.”

  “Why?”

  “Business.” That’s all I get. I don’t ask any more because I don’t want to know, and he probably wouldn’t tell me anyway. But honestly, if I show any interest, they will take that as I am willing to step up. That’s not the truth, not yet anyway.

  “So, I’ll get eaten alive without you there.”

  “You can handle your papa, squirt.”

  “As long as he doesn’t mention business. Sure.”

  “He loves you.”

  I shake my head. “Stop defending him. I know you think he walks on water, Alec, but he doesn’t.”

  He leans in close. “I don’t think he does, squirt. You, on the other hand, I do.”

  I smile. He knows exactly what to say to mak
e me feel better. I lean in closer and hug him. Have you ever hugged someone who takes all your worries and cares away? Other than your mother. Well, Alec’s that person for me.

  “So, when will I see you again?” I ask pulling back.

  We both stand as the shop starts to close up for the day and he offers to walk me home.

  “I’ll pop back.”

  “Okay.”

  “And, squirt?”

  “Yes.”

  “Be nice to your father. He does love you despite his old ways.”

  9

  Today’s close to two weeks since I met Gunner.

  Weeks of, ‘What the fuck,’ and, ‘Did I just do that.’

  As I close up the shop for the day, I think I’ve never met a man who confuses me so much in all my life. I believe in love at first sight, I do. I really, really do. But now, I think this is more about lust at first sight. Because that’s what this is, lust. I lust him more than I’ve ever lusted after anyone in my life. Gunner showing up at work today, I didn’t expect that. And I don’t expect the messages that follow either after I sent the first one.

  Me: I shouldn’t have given you my key.

  That’s true, I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what came over me to hand the key to my apartment over to him. He didn’t reply until I arrived home.

  Gunner: You should have. Stop overthinking it, Everly.

  I can hear him say my name in the tone he uses as I read the text.

  Me: Seriously, I think I should take it back.

  Me: This is me standing my ground, I think.

  Gunner: The fact that you wrote ‘think’ in that sentence leads me to believe you don’t. Now stop before I come over there right now and spank your ass.

  I stop because I need to breathe. Just for tonight, and especially after last night. He consumes me and I feel like I struggle to breathe when he isn’t near. I want him near all the time, and when he is my mind goes blank, so void of anything it’s as if it’s a blank canvas made just for him. I don’t like myself this way. Rereading the text, I crawl under the covers and tell myself not to dream of him tonight.