Composing Love

by Ronni Meyrick

  “I’d love to. And what have I told you about speaking with your mouth full? When you were a kid it was because you had those hollow legs to fill and couldn’t seem to get your food down fast enough. What’s your excuse now, Jolly?”

  Billy swallowed and took another sip of her drink. “I’m hungry. I’ve also been told I need to look after myself better. If I don’t eat while we talk, I’ll be late getting there. I also think I’m too old to be called Jolly now, Aunt Sarah.”

  Sarah snickered. “Why, have you shrunk?”

  “Nope. I’m still six foot.” Billy replied.

  “Well you’re still my jolly green giant then.” Another voice in the background cut through the conversation. “I’ve got to go. The vet’s here to look at some of my pregnant mares. I’ll see you tonight, lovely.”

  “Okay. One more thing though. If we want to go riding, I need to get some new boots. Is the supply place in the village still open?”

  “It closed down. But I opened one. It’s attached to the main stable block. Come see me when you’re ready to take a ride and I’ll sort you out with whatever you need.” The voice from the background came again, this time sounding more urgent. “Jolly, I have an emergency. Just come by when you can. Claret’s missed you. Catch you later, kid.”

  A dial tone blared, and Billy put down her phone. Claret! I can’t believe she still has that cantankerous bloody horse. Well, he was never bad for me or Katie. He loved it when one of us rode him. But whenever one of the hands tried, he’d either buck them or bite them. Billy rubbed her hands together. “I can’t wait to see our boy.”

  Chapter Four

  Dark wrought-iron gates stretched across the driveway of her parents’ home. With a simple press of the remote attached to her sun visor, they creaked open. The immaculate landscaped garden, one of her father’s favourite past-times, welcomed her. A warm happiness filled her body. I’m home!

  With another push of the button, the gates clanged closed. A yellow ball of fur sprinted around the side of the house and barked at the intruder. Its white teeth gleamed in the sunlight.

  Bloody hell! What’s got into him? She opened her door a fraction. “Devon, it’s me, you old sack of bones. Surely you haven’t forgotten me already?” The dog stopped barking and his tail wagged and spun ‘round so fast it reminded her of the rotors on a helicopter. His bark changed, and instead of the menacing snarls and deep alert tone, he yipped in excitement and bounced around on his back legs to see into the window. She pushed the door wide open and climbed out of her seat. “That’s better.”

  Before she took any of her items from the car, she got on her knees and made a fuss over the dog. She’d given him to her parents six years ago when her mother retired. With a final pat to his head, she pointed to the house. “Okay, enough. Go tell Pop and Mum I’m here.”

  Devon raced back around the house and she laughed at his antics. He was one of the craziest dogs she’d ever met, but he was one smart cookie. I don’t know why they moan about him so much; he’s such a sweetie.

  The door to the large four-bedroom house swung open and her parents rushed out to greet her. She opened her arms wide and was rugby-tackled by both of them. This is way better than a stupid phone or video call.

  Jim and Diane Christian hung onto her for several long seconds, neither of them willing to let her go.

  Her parents were childhood sweethearts and had married at eighteen, and anyone who’d met them would agree you’d never find a sweeter couple. It was her fondest hope she’d one day find someone she could share that kind of relationship with.

  Jim finally lowered his arms and kissed her on the cheek. His gaze roamed from her feet up to her face. “It’s good to see you, love. How’ve you been keeping?”

  “I’m good, Dad.” Their gazes met and she stared into the same deep blue eyes she saw every morning in the bathroom mirror. “Even better now I have a long holiday and can come home for a visit.”

  Diane poked her daughter in the ribs and her mouth dropped open. “You haven’t been eating right. But I’ll soon fix that.” She grabbed Billy’s hand and pulled her towards the house. “It’s good to have you home.”

  As she entered, Devon made it his mission to wrap himself around her legs in hopes of more attention. “In a minute, Dev! Let me get in and sit down first.”

  Her mother scowled at the dog and he lowered his head and scampered away. “He doesn’t deserve any affection. He attacked the postman last week…well, the postman’s bike. He punctured the tyres and ripped the inner tubes out. It’s thanks to that little shit I now have to drive into the village every morning to collect our mail. No one will deliver to us because of him.”

  She couldn’t help it. Billy threw her head back and laughed. “He was doing his job. You were worried about security when you bought this place. Well, now you have a guard dog.” Her laughter renewed as she peered over to Devon’s bed and saw the stupid mutt on his back, his lips pulled back as if he was grinning at her. His large pink tongue, with the cute black freckle in the middle of it, lolled out of the side of his mouth, and he squirmed around scratching his back on the material.

  Her mum rolled her eyes, but Billy saw a smile hiding in the curve of her lips. “We can get your things in a little while.” She tapped the top of her daughter’s hand. “Come into the kitchen, there’s a pot of coffee all ready for us.”

  “Can I have tea instead, please?”

  “All right, where’s my little caffeine fiend gone? What have you done with my daughter?” She slipped her arm through Billy’s and tugged her close to her side.

  “She’s still here, but I need to cut down on my caffeine intake.”

  “Okay, tea it is.” Diane led her through to the kitchen.

  Billy sat at the table and waited for her father to join them. She then realised she didn’t have her keys on her and excused herself to look for them. As she exited the kitchen, she heard her father’s heavy breathing coming from the entrance hall. She turned the corner to help, but he waved her off and gestured for her to go back to the kitchen.

  She blinked in surprise. She’d only been gone for a moment, but her mother had a teapot and three mugs laid out, along with a plate of biscuits and sandwiches. Re-taking her chair, she poured drinks for the three of them and set the small tea plates out in front of her parents’ vacant chairs. A sharp pain stabbed behind her eyes and she sunk back down and rubbed her temples.

  Diane took her place and reached over to lay her hand on Billy’s forehead. “You look really tired, sweetheart. Is everything okay?”

  Jim joined them and picked up his mug. “Leave the poor girl alone, Di. She doesn’t want to be pawed over the second she walks through the door.”

  Billy reached over to her bag on the floor and pulled out a packet of paracetamol. She popped two out into her hand. “I slept in this morning, but still feel exhausted. Thank God I feel better than I did last night. Vanessa’s on my back about my health, so I’ve agreed to take some time off.” She glanced at her parents and saw the concern in their eyes and worry-lines on their faces. Be honest with them. “I had a little problem last night after the performance—I passed out.” She held her hand up as her mother opened her mouth. “It’s okay. My blood pressure was just too low.” She related the rest of the events and told them what she’d planned to combat it. “I’ve not been taking care of myself properly and need time to fix it. Once I have a handle on things and have a new routine, I’ll be fine.”

  Jim took her hand and squeezed it gently. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard.”

  “I need to start eating better, get some rest, and pick up my old exercise routine. I let it lapse, and my gym membership has sat idle for a few months. Once my BP starts to come up and shows a significant improvement, I can come off the medication.”

  Diane got up from her seat and rounded the table to sit next to Billy. She put her arm around her shoulders and hugged her to her side. “I know I’m over-protective, but you
’re my daughter and I want what’s best for you. If there’s anything we can do to help while you’re recuperating, let us know.”

  “Thank you for understanding, and I promise to tell you.”

  With the bad news out of the way, they sat and enjoyed a small afternoon snack. While she was eyeing up her third portion of cake, her father cleared his throat.

  “Would you like to join us for the pub quiz tonight?” He gazed intently at her.

  “Funny you should ask. I spoke to Aunt Sarah on the way down and told her I’d be there. I’m also buying us all dinner tonight.” She held her hand up when her parents protested. “Hey! Remember I need to turn stress outwards and this isn’t helping.”

  Diane rose with the empty teapot in her hand. “We’ll see who’s paying.”

  “Yes, we will!” Challenge accepted, Mother dear!

  Jim’s shoulders relaxed as she confirmed her participation. “Thank God. Maybe we’ll have a chance at winning now. The other team always seem to beat us on music.”

  “Hey, nobody messes with the Christian Clan and gets away with it. We’ll wipe the floor with them tonight! But it might be a good idea not to mention who I am or they’ll accuse you of cheating.”

  Jim’s chest puffed out. “That’s my girl!”

  “If you’re not working, then why have you brought your keyboard with you?” Diane pointed to the long black bag in the hallway that had the word Rowland stencilled on it in bold letters.

  With their cups refreshed, her parents listened with rapt fascination while she explained the film score she was working on. She told them about conducting a piece in New York, when she and an orchestra of the production company’s choice recorded the composition.

  “It’s due in six months, but it may be done sooner if I can get it finished while I’m on holiday and the production team signs off on it.”

  “I’m so proud of you!” Jim hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. “But what I can’t understand is why you were so stressed that you passed out. What the hell have you been doing for the last few weeks?”

  A smile spread across her lips as the first image to filter into her mind was one of Elizabeth Knight. “You know my weakness when it comes to opera. I love Verdi. I also couldn’t pass on the chance to work with the leading lady, and I can’t wait to do so again.”

  Plates clanged together as Diane stacked them in front of herself. “Was it someone famous?”

  Auburn hair and sparkling near-jade eyes flashed into her head. She reached into her bag and pulled out the envelope that she’d received earlier. She opened it to the review page, laid it on the table in front of them, and stabbed the piece in question.

  Diane surged out of her seat and peered over Billy’s shoulder to read it. “Holy shit, you worked with Elizabeth Knight! How was it? What was she like in person? Was she happy with the performance you both gave? Is her hair really that colour? It’s such a vibrant red I would’ve bet money it was dyed.”

  “Calm down, Mum!” She raised her hands to stop the barrage of questions. “Elizabeth’s a really nice person and from what I’ve seen she’s down-to-earth, bubbly, friendly, funny, caring, and dedicated to music. Not to mention she’s outstandingly beautiful.”

  Diane folded the paper back to the front page and noticed the message. “Wait. She sent you this today?”

  “Yes.”

  As the note mentioned Carlo, she had to tell them about the confrontation with him last night. She also informed them of the roses she’d personally been gifted by the gorgeous soprano, and of the little note she’d found in her dressing room.

  “Ooh, so there might be an opportunity of something developing between you?” Her mother brightened at the mention of the roses and note. “You’ve been alone far too long. It’s time you found someone to settle down with.”

  Billy spluttered into her cup and tea splattered everywhere. Her father rose and patted her vigorously on the back. “Please don’t start down that road, Mum. Elizabeth’s a lovely person, and at the end of the day she probably goes home to an equally amazing boyfriend. I don’t think she’s a lesbian. There has never been any mention of her being gay.”

  “That’s a shame.” Jim picked up the plates and took them over to the counter. “I agree with your mum; you need to find someone you can go home to at night.” He walked into the living room where he had put her things. “I’ll take this upstairs for you.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  When he’d disappeared from sight, Diane pounced on her daughter. “There’s something else bothering you. You can either tell me now or I’ll badger you all night until you do. It’s your choice.”

  All of a sudden, Billy found her hands were of great interest. She studied each of her knuckles and the three tiny scars on her right palm. “Vanessa thinks I haven’t dealt with Katie’s death, and that’s why I’ve been pushing myself to work harder.” The hairs on the back of her neck pricked when she felt her mother’s intense gaze on her. However, she still couldn’t raise her head and look her in the eye. “She’s right.” Her stomach lurched. It was the first time she’d actually said the words aloud.

  “Oh, Billy, you should’ve said something to us. We would’ve helped you through it.”

  As a warm hand covered her own, she finally bolstered her resolve and looked up. “I know, and I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I’ve taken every job that comes my way to stop myself from thinking about her. When I’m busy I don’t have time to reminisce. I’m too tired at the end of the day to do anything but eat, shower, and sleep.”

  Diane took Billy’s chin between her thumb and forefinger and turned her face so she could look into her eyes. “Katie’s death has taken a lot out of you. The spark in your eyes died the day you learned of her passing. Sarah and I have been worried about you.”

  “I think I need to talk to Aunt Sarah about it. If anyone will understand, it’s her, and perhaps we can grieve together.” She placed her hand over her mother’s, holding it to her cheek. “Thanks, Mum.”

  “At least it’s a start.” Diane stood and motioned for her to follow. “Let’s get you settled in.”

  Her old bedroom had changed many times over the years, but the ambience hadn’t. As soon as she stepped through the doorway, she felt as though a safety blanket settled on her shoulders. On the walls were pictures of herself throughout her career. The large standing mahogany bookcases held her beloved pictures of friends and family. And on her nightstand, in a heavy sterling silver frame, was the last picture of her and Katie that had ever been taken, along with a smaller handmade wood frame that held their first picture. It was a passport photo they’d begged their mothers to let them have done. They both had crossed eyes and were poking their tongues out.

  “Are you okay, love?” Jim’s steps across the carpet were slow, unsure.

  She stared at him through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Something wet ran down her cheek. She realised she was crying when a fat teardrop dripped off her chin and landed against her red t-shirt, leaving a dark stain.

  “I just miss her so much.”

  No longer restrained, Jim gathered his daughter into his arms and nestled her under his chin. “I know. We miss her, too. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to lose someone as close as a sibling.”

  Her body shook as sobs cascaded out of her and she cried harder than she had in years. The only difference was, she wasn’t nursing a bruise, broken arm, or a fall from a horse… No, this time her heart was breaking for the friend she’d never set eyes on again.

  A second set of arms engulfed her from behind. Her mother’s perfume filled her senses and she relaxed in between her parents.

  When they released each other, her mother produced a tissue for her to dry her cheeks. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart. Before you do anything else today you need to take a nap and rest up.” Billy opened her mouth to protest but her mother raised her hand to stop her. “I’ll wake you up in plenty of time to take a s
hower before we go to the pub.”

  “Okay.” Her head dropped forward as all of the tension in her body ebbed away. She fell into her bed and snuggled into the softness of the mattress. The texture of the fine cotton covering the duvet and the familiar scent of the softener her parents favoured reminded her she was home. Safe.

  Before she could utter another word, her eyes slipped shut. On the periphery of consciousness, she felt four hands. One set moved her legs onto the bed and gently tugged off her shoes. The other placed her head on a pillow, then covered her with a soft fleece blanket.

  Chapter Five

  After a couple of hours of sleep and a long hot shower, Billy felt refreshed. Her eyes were still a little bloodshot, but that would be gone after a few days with her family, she knew. The breakdown in front of her parents had been oddly cathartic. It hadn’t fixed everything that was broken inside of her, but it felt like a start.

  She dressed in a clean pair of jeans and an olive-green button-up shirt and sprayed on some of her favourite perfume, then grabbed her wallet and keys before jogging down the stairs to join her parents. Surprisingly, they were already waiting for her in the hallway.

  “Sorry if you feel rushed, love, but we thought it would be better to let you sleep as long as you could.” Jim unhooked his own keys from the rack next to the door. “We’ll take my car.”

  “Thank you. I feel a lot better already.”

  Diane looped her arm in Billy’s and led her to the front door. “Don’t worry about calling Sarah to organise a time. I’ve already spoken to her and she’s going to meet us there.”

  “I guess you mentioned what happened earlier as well.” She opened the passenger door of her father’s silver Audi Q2 for her mother.