Generation Misfits

by Akemi Dawn Bowman

  “Close” was almost an exaggeration. Rainbow lived just opposite the park. She practically lived next door to the school.

  “Why didn’t you just come home for lunch every day?” Ashley wondered out loud as they stepped through the front door. “Instead of eating in the theater?”

  Rainbow sighed. “The school has rules about that. But also, I’d rather my parents didn’t know I was getting picked on. They’d make it a ‘thing.’”

  Millie had opened her mouth to ask what she meant when Rainbow’s mother appeared in the living room. She was wearing a tunic painted every color of the rainbow, and her straw-colored hair was braided into a crown.

  “You brought your friends over!” she exclaimed, pressing her hands together like she was thanking the stars. “It’s so lovely to meet you. You can call me Ella— Is anyone hungry? I made apple and kale chips!” Ella wrapped her arms around Rainbow and pressed a cheek to her hair.

  Rainbow made a face that was half embarrassment, half appreciation. “We’re kind of short on time, Mom. Millie has to take the bus home.”

  Ella looked up thoughtfully. “Oh, I can drive you home if you like! Do you all want to stay for dinner?”

  “No,” Rainbow said a little too quickly, her face turning pinker by the second. “We’re good.” It was obvious she was sensitive about the food. And Millie didn’t blame her, after what happened the time she had a birthday party with kids from school.

  Luna flashed a warm smile. “It smells delicious in here, though. Maybe we’d have time for a little snack?”

  Millie and Zuki both nodded encouragingly.

  Ashley shrugged. “I like kale chips.”

  Rainbow’s entire body relaxed, and Ella beamed. “Sure thing! I’ll make a plate, and you can take it to the studio with you. Would anyone like water? Tea?”

  Rainbow’s dad appeared from around the corner. He was wearing coveralls that were spattered in dried clay, and his hair pointed in every direction, almost as if he’d been electrocuted.

  “Ah! We’re outnumbered!” he shouted, hazel eyes full of laughter.

  Ella smiled. “These are Rainbow’s friends from school. Come and give me a hand with the drinks, will you, Gary?”

  The pair vanished into the kitchen and reemerged a few minutes later with a plate of chips and a jug of water. Rainbow led everyone to the living room, which was full of indoor plants and ceramic ornaments. Above the fireplace was a row of geodes and crystals, all lined up by color to make a rainbow.

  “Did you make these?” Luna asked, staring at all the sculptures.

  Gary grinned. His beard was sprinkled with bright white hair, and he had happy eyes that turned into crescent moons when he smiled, just like Millie’s dad. “Most of them. Rainbow made a couple of them, too, didn’t you?” He nudged his daughter, who smiled sheepishly.

  “I didn’t know you were into art,” Millie said.

  “Multitalented,” Zuki added.

  “You’re like a professional,” Luna gushed.

  “You could’ve easily been an art major,” Ashley noted.

  “Okay!” Rainbow practically barked. “I know you’re all trying to be nice, but this is too much attention. Can we talk about someone else? Something else? Anything else?”

  Everyone looked at one another for five whole seconds before they burst out laughing. Even Rainbow, who covered her eyes to shield her embarrassment.

  “All right.” Gary tapped Ella’s knee. “We better leave the kids be. Last time we must’ve really messed things up because it’s been years since Rainbow’s invited anyone back. We should get out while we’re ahead!”

  Ella laughed. “Let us know if you need anything, okay? And again, Millie, we’d be happy to give you a ride home if you need it.”

  “Thanks, but I’m okay,” Millie said.

  When Rainbow’s parents disappeared into the next room, Zuki raised her brows. “Your parents are so nice!”

  “And these apple and kale chips are delicious,” Ashley said between bites.

  “You’re lucky. Your mom and dad seem so chilled out,” Millie said.

  Rainbow smiled, still fighting the embarrassment.

  “Millie has cool parents, too,” Zuki pointed out. “They let me sleep over on Christmas Eve.”

  “But Rainbow’s seem so happy to let her be who she is.” Millie looked at Rainbow. “They seem like they give you space.”

  “Yeah, I guess they do. Honestly, I thought they were perfect until everyone at school said they were weird,” Rainbow admitted.

  “They are perfect,” Ashley argued. “They’re perfect for you, and that’s what matters most.”

  “Thanks,” Rainbow said, her eyes starting to water.

  “You’re lucky,” Zuki said in a faraway voice. “Your parents picked you because they really wanted you. They didn’t just get stuck with you. So you’ll never have to wonder whether they really love you or not.”

  Everyone else exchanged knowing looks. Zuki might’ve been president of J-Club again, but she was far from herself. Her light had dimmed, and Millie was pretty sure it was because of her parents.

  But Zuki didn’t want to talk about it. How could Millie help someone who didn’t want to talk?

  They spent the next thirty minutes rehearsing in the dance studio, singing as loud as they wanted and laughing in between sections. It was nice having mirrors; it almost felt more official, seeing everyone together. It felt like they were a real group again.

  When Millie picked up her phone to check the time, her heart plummeted into her stomach.

  Twenty-seven missed calls, all from her mom.

  “Oh no,” Millie said out loud, glancing through her texts.

  Zuki looked up. “What is it?”

  Millie read through her messages quickly, her mind moving too fast to comprehend that her friends were circling around her, concerned.

  Her parents had gone to Brightside Academy to pick her up after school because her flute teacher had rescheduled her lesson. They’d been to see Mrs. Seo, who’d told them Millie hadn’t shown up for tutoring.

  And now they knew she wasn’t at the school.

  “My mom has been trying to call me,” Millie said, her voice barely a sound at all. “I’m in so much trouble.”

  She dialed the number, pressed the phone to her ear, and waited for the inevitable fallout.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  “Millie? Where are you? Are you okay?” Jane sounded panicked.

  “Yeah,” Millie said. Her hands were starting to shake. “I’m at a friend’s house.”

  And that’s when it happened. Jane began talking very quickly about being terrified something had happened and disappointed that Millie would do something like this without asking. She talked about being angry, about trust being broken, and about consequences for being disobedient.

  At some point Scott took the phone to yell about how scared they were and how embarrassing it was to show up to Millie’s school and find out they had no idea where their daughter was. He reminded her that she was only eleven, that she was a child, and that she didn’t get to make her own decisions when she showed no responsibility whatsoever.

  When Millie’s parents picked her up from Rainbow’s house, they had a quick, polite conversation with Ella and Gary. Millie listened as Rainbow’s parents told them all about J-Club, and the rehearsal for Pop Showcase, and how hard they’d been practicing. Maybe Ella and Gary thought they were helping—that they were making a good case for Millie—but it only made everything worse.

  Because Millie’s parents finally knew how far back the lies went.

  When they ushered Millie into the car, the lecture didn’t stop.

  “J-Club? What were you thinking, Millie?” Scott demanded from the driver’s seat.

  “You told us you were joining Advanced Studies. And what about the tutoring? Was that even real?” Jane asked.

  Millie bit the edge of her lip, wiping tears away with her fingers.

 
“This is unbelievable. I don’t even know who you are right now,” Scott said, shaking his head.

  “That’s the problem,” Millie muttered under her breath.

  His eyes flashed in the rearview mirror. “What, now you’re talking back to your parents, too?”

  Millie couldn’t help the angry tears from spilling over. “You didn’t know me before either. You never bother to learn anything about me.”

  “What are you talking about?” Jane turned to look at Millie. “This is not our fault. We didn’t force you to lie to us, or to make up a fake club, or to sneak around with your friends while you were failing your classes. You made those choices.”

  “Because I can’t breathe!” Millie exploded.

  “Don’t talk to your mother like that!” Scott yelled.

  “You never listen to me! All you care about is flute, and grades, and your rules. You don’t let me take a single step without telling me I’m doing it wrong.” Millie started to sob, taking in big, heavy gulps of air.

  “We’re your parents! We know what’s best,” Scott said firmly. “You don’t have to like it, but you don’t get to just change the rules whenever you feel like it.”

  “And you certainly don’t get to lie to us,” Jane said.

  “I wouldn’t have had to lie if you’d just listened to me,” Millie argued. “The only part of my life that I don’t hate is J-Club and being with my friends.”

  “Well, that makes me sad,” Jane said. “But that still isn’t an excuse.”

  “Every kid goes through stages. But I honestly thought we could trust you more than this,” Scott said.

  They still weren’t listening. They still didn’t understand what it felt like.

  “You’re done with J-Club,” Scott said sternly. “In case that wasn’t obvious.”

  Jane sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Obviously you’re not doing this Pop Showcase or whatever it is either. And I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you hanging out with these friends of yours. They’re clearly a bad influence, and I’m not happy about it.”

  Millie’s face turned hot. “If you make me quit J-Club, then I’m quitting flute.”

  “You don’t get to make that choice, Millie,” Scott warned.

  “Yes, I do!” Millie cried. “If you take away J-Club, I will never play the flute again!”

  There was more shouting, more lecturing, and more of Millie’s parents refusing to see Millie’s side.

  But one thing was final: she was grounded.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  During lunch the next day, Millie told her friends that she wouldn’t be able to perform in Pop Showcase. She expected them to be upset or disappointed or even a little angry.

  But they weren’t. All they cared about was Millie.

  “I’m really sorry you’re grounded, but don’t worry,” Zuki said. “As long as we get to hang out, that’s what’s important.”

  Millie’s worries turned to fear.

  How could she tell them her parents didn’t want her hanging out with them? And did she really have to obey?

  It wasn’t even an option. They were her friends no matter what, and being grounded wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

  But if her parents pulled her out of Brightside …

  Millie tried to shake the thought away. She didn’t want it in her mind, where it was making things warped and dark and ugly. All she had was now, and she needed to make it count.

  Rainbow smiled encouragingly. “Yeah, you have us no matter what.”

  “You aren’t mad at me for ruining our group?” Millie asked quietly.

  Even though everyone shook their heads immediately, it was Zuki she turned to first. Because Zuki had been there from the start. J-Club was how they’d become friends.

  “I didn’t start J-Club to perform in Pop Showcase,” Zuki admitted. “I did it to make friends—and I did. Maybe we’re nerds or dorks or whatever, and the rest of the school may not even know we exist, but we found each other. So who cares about a concert?”

  Millie looked around the table. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve known you all for years. Isn’t it strange that it’s only been since September?”

  Everyone nodded in agreement, but it did nothing to lift the mood.

  “How long do you think you’ll be grounded?” Luna asked.

  Millie sighed. “For the rest of my existence, probably.”

  “Well, at least we have school,” Rainbow offered.

  Millie tried to force a smile. Zuki seemed to be doing the same, though Millie wasn’t sure why.

  It wasn’t like Zuki’s parents were pulling her out of school. She’d still be here next year. She might even get another chance to audition for Pop Showcase.

  But what did Millie have to look forward to? She was afraid to guess.

  “Maybe your parents will be less mad by the time summer break comes along,” Ashley said. “We could hang out—make an unofficial J-Club that doesn’t have anything to do with school.”

  “A loophole,” Luna noted. “I like it.”

  Ashley grinned.

  “You two have changed so much this year.” Zuki snorted. “Remember when you couldn’t even look at each other?”

  They both rolled their eyes but laughed anyway.

  “Because of a misunderstanding,” Luna pointed out.

  “It’s not just us—we’ve all changed,” Ashley said. “I guess I’ve learned that I don’t always have to push people away. And that needing friends doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds.”

  Luna looked around. “I finally feel like I can be myself. Like I don’t have to hide.”

  Rainbow gave a timid smile. “I feel safe at school for the first time in … well, ever, really.”

  Zuki pressed her lips together, trying to hold back tears. “I guess—I guess I don’t feel alone anymore.” She looked around and her eyes glistened. “I feel like I finally have a family.”

  They turned to Millie and waited for her answer. And she didn’t know if it was silly or poetic or profound in any way, but she knew what she wanted to say. She could feel it in her heart.

  “My whole life, I’ve felt like I was half asleep. Like I didn’t know where I was supposed to be or how I was supposed to fit in the world.” Millie shrugged. “But now I feel awake. I feel like I belong.”

  * * *

  The mood at school had already been sad enough. But at home? It was like standing in the middle of the Arctic tundra. It felt like the ice had shattered beneath Millie’s feet, and she was falling down, down, down into a black hole.

  She was waiting for a decision from her parents. Waiting for them to take Brightside away from her forever. Knowing their verdict was coming only made the days feel colder because every day with her friends felt like the lead-up to a goodbye.

  So she drifted through the week like she really was lost in the snow, without anyone to pull her back to safety.

  But at least there were no more lies.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

  “Millie, can you sit down with us in the kitchen for a minute?” Jane called.

  Millie hesitated by the doorway. She was already wearing her pajamas. They were covered in little Gudetama drawings and were maybe a size too big, but very comfortable.

  She’d been doing a pretty good job of avoiding her parents, and they hadn’t exactly been putting up a fight about it. They hadn’t even brought up the afternoon in the car when everything exploded and they’d found out the truth about J-Club.

  It was weird. Millie expected the hovering to get worse and for the rules to become even stricter. But instead, everything felt like it was on pause. Like the aftermath still hadn’t been decided. Millie hadn’t practiced her flute in days, and her parents hadn’t said a word about it.

  But maybe all that was about to end.

  Maybe now was the aftermath.

  Millie swallowed her nerves and took a seat at the table.

  Scott and Jane watched her, their
faces devoid of any expression at all. Millie tried to appear neutral, but it was too hard. She carried her emotions with her everywhere, on display for the world to see.

  “Millie,” Jane started, “we want to talk to you about school.”

  Millie’s eyes welled up then, like a flash flood without warning. This was it—they were pulling her out of Brightside Academy. She was never going to see her friends again.

  They were going to take away the one thing that made her heart feel full.

  “We’re really sorry we’ve been so hard on you,” Scott said, his voice echoing like they’d all been transported into an empty auditorium.

  Millie blinked. Had she heard him correctly?

  Jane’s eyes softened. “We heard what you said—about feeling like you couldn’t breathe—and maybe we’re to blame for some of that.”

  “Not all of it,” Scott interjected. “You did lie to us, which is never, ever okay.”

  Jane lowered her chin. “But maybe we’ve been pushing you in a direction you’re not comfortable with. And even though we’ve been here, we haven’t been here for you in the way you needed. And that’s our fault.”

  Millie’s brain tumbled and tumbled. She couldn’t make sense of anything they were saying.

  They were agreeing with her.

  “We asked to sit down with all of your teachers,” Jane admitted. “We were concerned about how you’d been doing in school after we found out you’d been secretly going to J-Club. We wanted to know the truth about your grades.”

  “And your behavior,” Scott added. “Because in my experience, when someone gets caught skipping class, it’s usually not the first time.”

  Millie frowned, defensive. “But it was the first time. And it was just tutoring, I—”

  Jane held up a hand to stop her. “We know, honey. We spoke with Mrs. Seo and everyone else. And it turns out your teachers think you’re an incredible student.”

  Millie froze.

  Scott gave a small smile. “They said you’re always on time and that you try really hard in class. They said they’ve never had a student show as much improvement as you did—especially after your first-quarter grades. They said they can tell you really put the work in and that you take school very seriously.”