I'm Not Who You Think I Am

by Felicitas Ivey

  But he wasn’t white; his skin was as dark as mine, making me very aware how sheer his white loincloth was. If he had been naked, it would have been less embarrassing. Fortunately, he was fit, sporting a taut stomach and sculpted arms.

  Right now he was also staring at me, like he’d never seen a girl before.

  “Call Fido the wonder dog off,” I said.

  “Smr w’tyt,” he breathed. “Mry.”

  I wasn’t comfortable with the way the guy was looking at me as he spoke. Or that whatever he was saying sounded warm and cuddly, like he was reciting lines from a romance novel.

  The growl behind me made me jump, because he’d distracted me from Fido, the scary dog thing. We were trapped between the two of them and I didn’t like it. Where were the cops when you needed them? Granted, it might take a grenade or something to take out the dog. Guns would take down the man in front of us, though.

  “If you don’t get out of our way—”

  “Who are you talking to?” Uncle Yushua demanded as he concentrated on the dog.

  “There’s an exhibitionist behind us, like he’s trying out for the Naked Cowboy in Times Square.”

  He turned fully and I felt uneasy with Fido at my back. I shifted so I could keep an eye on the dog and the man.

  “What…?”

  Uncle Yushua had stopped chanting and seemed baffled by the man standing behind us.

  “If this was winter he’d be in as much trouble as we are,” I said.

  “I want you to jump in the water now,” Uncle Yushua ordered.

  “Not like I can really swim and dogs can’t.”

  “That isn’t a dog,” he said grimly.

  I wanted to ask what it was, but figured stupidity was better than information. I was going to blame all the sugar in the tiramisu for what I was about to do. There was a tiny voice in the back of my head, telling me how easy it would be to take the man down. I could almost picture it, and it was something I could do, a part of my life I could take care of, almost.

  “I should have gone out for the rugby team,” I muttered.

  With that, I ran and tackled Naked Guy. He seemed a little surprised at my move, and so I managed to get him pinned. I just had to figure out what I needed to do next.

  “Run!” I screamed. “Get the cops.”

  Uncle Yushua ran to the end of the bridge at least.

  Naked Guy grinned at me, like this was the funniest thing in the world.

  “I have several years of self-defense classes,” I threatened. Not that I was sure he knew what I was saying. “I know how to hit you where it hurts. And you’re barely wearing clothes.”

  Fido growled and Naked Guy shouted, “Het!”

  But Fido had moved toward us, because I heard the growling growing closer, as it ignored the command. But for all I knew, it was an attack order, and the thing was going to bite off my head at any moment.

  “Tell that overgrown pug I’m going to kick you where it really hurts if he doesn’t move back.”

  Not that it was a real threat. Fido could make mincemeat out of me without hurting Naked Guy, who seemed to control him. Uncle Yushua shouted a guttural phrase, I heard a pop behind me, and then the scent of ozone filled the air.

  A look of annoyance passed over Naked Guy’s face, and then I realized how… umm… close we were. My skirt was bunched up and I was sort of astride him. He grinned and flipped me over. I tried to knee him in his junk, but he blocked me, pinning me down on the sidewalk.

  It was at this moment the trainer called time and pointed out what went wrong. A chill settled in my stomach because that wasn’t going to happen. I actually knew what was wrong: I’d gotten in over my head because I had overestimated my skills. What the fuck had I been thinking? And now…. Now I didn’t know what was happening.

  “Smr w’tyt,” he repeated, leaning down like he wanted to kiss me.

  “What?”

  That stopped him cold. I attempted to hit him with my bag, not that it had any leverage. At the same time, my phone went off with Xiu’s ringtone, loud, even though muffled inside my bag. The sound made him pull back in alarm, giving me a chance to get out from underneath him. Uncle Yushua was running back toward me, because I could hear the pounding of his footsteps on the bridge.

  Naked Guy stood up and then pulled me up effortlessly. I struggled in his grip, stomping for his foot, but I missed.

  “Rswt,” he whispered, embracing me.

  I was tall enough so I could look into his eyes. I tried to wiggle out of his grip, hoping he didn’t confuse get-away wiggles with get-down-and-dirty wiggles.

  He leaned his forehead into mine. It was weird and awkward and didn’t override my need to get away from him. I kicked his ankle and he let go of me, stepping back in shock.

  “Get away from me,” I shouted.

  He looked like I had just told him there was no Santa or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. It was pitiful, and for a second, I wanted to tell him it was going to be all right.

  “Mryt.”

  It sounded like a prayer and like his heart was breaking. I backed up, out of grabbing range. I didn’t know what just happened. All I knew was I was going to run while the running was good. But I couldn’t move, because Naked Guy was walking away from me instead. He’d turned around, started walking, and after a couple of steps, he was gone. No noise or anything. It was like he had never existed. And suddenly I could smell the ocean again and hear the sounds of the city. I hadn’t realized how quiet it had been, until those sounds were back.

  “Are you all right?” Uncle Yushua asked.

  “We need to call the police,” I said numbly.

  “And tell them what?” he asked calmly.

  I looked at him. If it wasn’t for the fact my knees hurt and my hair was a mess, I’d have a hard time even imagining the last five or so minutes had happened.

  “That….”

  “That what?”

  “Um….”

  There was no big dog or half-naked guy now. So what would we tell the police? We’d look insane or drugged-up with our story.

  “The best thing we could do now would to be go home.”

  And not talk about this to anyone remained unsaid.

  “I should clean up the garbage I dropped,” I said weakly. “You know, so we don’t get in trouble for littering.”

  It was stupid to think about littering, but I needed to concentrate on stuff like that now. Normal things, not oversized dogs and overly familiar naked men. I walked to where the take-out container was and picked it up. I wasn’t surprised that most of the food and some of the container was gone. I tossed it into the public garbage can, trying not to get dog slobber on my hands.

  I realized those hands were shaking, and I wanted to cry and throw up at the same time.

  “We need to get going now,” Uncle Yushua said patiently.

  “I’m cold,” I muttered.

  “You’re in shock,” he said bluntly. “You need something hot and sweet to drink.”

  My phone went off again and I dug it out of my bag. If I didn’t call Xiu back, she was going to worry and I didn’t want her to. That was something I clung to, while the rest of the world had gone sideways.

  “Hi, Xiu,” I said, hoping my voice sounded normal. “It wasn’t a good time to answer before.”

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  That wasn’t a lie. I was shaking and bruised, but fine. And if I kept repeating it, then I could get through this.

  “I got the museum picture you sent me,” Xiu said. “Next time you’re there, steal them for me.”

  “Your feet are too big,” I said automatically.

  “Are you telling me I’m not the sexiest person on the planet?” Xiu demanded. “That you don’t think you need to shower me with presents worthy of me?”

  I laughed. It sounded false, and there was more of a “I’m alive” vibe to it than any real joy, but it was laughter.

  “You
don’t sound too good,” Xiu said, switching from teasing to concerned in an instant.

  “Just processing,” I assured her, between laughs.

  I was, just not the state of my parents’ being right now. More like what had just happened and had something been slipped into my tiramisu, causing me to hallucinate? But Uncle Yushua hadn’t had any, and he seemed to be seeing the same things I had, from his reactions.

  “Well, I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said. She hesitated for a second. “He’s not being a funny uncle, is he?”

  I stopped laughing when she said that. “Not in the way you mean,” I mumbled.

  Because Uncle Yushua had just done something strange funny, not funny ha-ha, with his chanting. Or funny bad touch, which was what Xiu seemed to be worried about.

  “Call me anytime. I have cousins up there,” she said. “So you know you aren’t alone, okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I repeated before cutting off the call. Xiu had family everywhere. It was scary to me at times how much family she had.

  “Xiu sounds like a good friend,” Uncle Yushua said as we resumed our walk home.

  “And even she wouldn’t believe what just happened if I told her.”

  Actually she might have, but this was something we needed to talk about in person.

  “People find a lot of things hard to believe,” he said cryptically.

  We were silent for the rest of the walk, and I didn’t know if I was relieved we didn’t run into anyone or not. I was a mess, and Uncle Yushua looked like he needed more than a hot cup of tea to set him right.

  We got into the condo, and I headed for the stairs to clean up. I wanted to get out of these clothes. I changed into dorm pants and a T-shirt, just leaving my other clothes in a heap on the floor. I’d deal with them tomorrow.

  I got back downstairs at about the same time as Uncle Yushua. He was in a blue caftan, cross-stitched with colorful threads in shades of red in an abstract pattern.

  I shivered when I saw that, because it reminded me of something I couldn’t put my finger on.

  “Harper and Rat are coming over,” Uncle Yushua said as he filled the teakettle and put it on to boil. “And then we’ll try and answer any questions you have.”

  Chapter Four

  I WAS staring into my mug of tea like it held the answers to the universe. The tea was strong and adulterated heavily with milk and sugar. Uncle Yushua had stopped short of dumping some sort of alcohol in it to stop the shakes I was having again.

  We were both quiet, curled up on opposite ends of the sofa in the living room. I was too numb to talk. Uncle Yushua looked like he was barely awake, his face drawn and his color off. Mafdet was sitting between us, glaring at the door like she was a guard. I don’t know how much time passed before I heard Harper and Rat let themselves in.

  “I suppose this is when you tell me I only have three questions,” I said, feeling a little punch-drunk.

  One of those questions should be why these two were here. They didn’t seem too upset that Uncle Yushua had asked them over this late at night. But I was exhausted, too tired to think or be sensible. All I could remember was the longing in the guy’s voice, wanting something from me I couldn’t give him.

  “What?” Harper asked.

  He sat on the couch opposite us, looking concerned. What had Uncle Yushua told him, besides if could he come over right now? Would Harper think we were crazy if we told him what happened?

  “It’s a movie reference, we can watch it later.” Rat grinned. His grin faded as he studied the two of us. “Are you all right?”

  “Mykayla was in more danger then I was,” Uncle Yushua said heavily, looking up at him. “She kept him occupied so I could dismiss the Beast with magic.”

  So he was going to tell them, after he said we couldn’t call the police. Why was he willing to talk to these two and not the police? Aside from the craziness of the situation. But maybe Uncle Yushua had the same distrust of police that my father had? Most of the police force in New York were good people, but there had been too many bad “breathing while black” incidents in the news for my father to trust them blindly. He also passed that caution down to the twins. And being part Iranian didn’t help us either after 9/11.

  And what was he talking about with dismissing and magic and I shouldn’t let my mind wander, but I was having a hard time concentrating right now.

  “What did you do?” Harper demanded.

  He was trying to sound soothing and understanding, but his tone seemed off to me. Jarring, like Harper was upset too. So he did believe what Uncle Yushua was saying and wasn’t just humoring him. What was happening here?

  “I was just stupid,” I said slowly. “I have no clue why I did any of that. All those classes taught me to defend and run away, not run and attack. Except for the lasagna. That was the only thing I did that made sense.”

  I lived in a city where bad things could happen, so self-defense courses were part of gym at my school. The first rule we all learned was to run, to get to people and lights and get away from trouble. And I’d run toward it like an idiot. Like I’d been a different person for a moment.

  “Lasagna?” Harper echoed, while Rat went to the kitchen and started another pot of tea. I was getting the impression he dealt with almost any crisis by throwing food at it. That wasn’t a bad reaction to have, but no wonder the man ran if he was into comfort food this much. If he didn’t, he’d weigh a ton. “Could you start from the beginning so we can understand what happened?”

  Harper and Uncle Yushua looked at each other, like they were trying to communicate telepathically. I waited for whatever moment they were having. The silence seemed awkward, and I wondered if I should go to the bathroom so they could talk about me behind my back. I started to get up, and that drew their attention to me.

  “Why don’t you tell them what happened, Mykayla. You should start with dinner,” Uncle Yushua coaxed. He was beginning to look a little better, less like he was going to pass out.

  “We went to Ricardo’s in the North End for dinner,” I said, settling back on the couch. “Their portions are huge, and I wanted dessert, so we ended up boxing half my dinner to take home.”

  “What did you have for dessert?” Rat asked.

  “That’s not important now,” Harper said, turning around to glare at him.

  “Tiramisu.”

  His question made it easier for me to think about what had happened. There was a blur to my memories, like it had happened a long time ago or had been a movie I’d watched, instead of it happening to me. His questions were helping me concentrate and think. That might not be a good thing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to control something in my life at this moment.

  “It’s good there,” Rat said, taking over the questioning. Harper looked annoyed for a second and then sat back. “And after that, what happened when you left the restaurant?”

  “We were walking home because it was a nice night,” I continued. “We walked through a park, and down a main street past that big hotel. There were people about until we got to the bridge.”

  “We were on Summer Street,” Uncle Yushua added.

  “That area has a lot of water, not a place I’d think he’d appear,” Rat muttered. “But we’ve been running around in a panic since we’ve found the casket was gone.”

  That made no sense to me. What casket? Was that the reason Uncle Yushua had gone to the MFA this morning? If the missing casket had been so important, why did he spend the afternoon and evening with me? And what did dessert have to do with anything?

  “Where are you going to find a desert in Massachusetts?” Rat asked pragmatically. He took the teapot off the table in front of me, heading back to the kitchen, where the kettle was beginning to whistle. “Fresh pot’s coming up.”

  “You know it’s too late to drink all that caffeine,” Harper pointed out.

  “Don’t worry about that,” Rat soothed, with an odd smile.

  Harper rolled his eyes and I giggled. It sound
ed a little strained.

  “What’s so funny?” Uncle Yushua asked.

  “They’re acting like an old married couple, like ones you see on television.”

  Rat laughed when I said that. Harper looked pleased and peeved at the same time.

  “Who was the naked guy?” I asked. I was surprised when Harper didn’t go, “What naked guy?” I guessed he knew a lot more about what was going on than I did.

  “We’ll get to that later, I promise,” Harper said as he and Uncle Yushua exchanged concerned looks. “Right now, you just need to tell us what happened.”

  Well, if they knew about him, then there was a reason Uncle Yushua had called them. I wondered what it was, because I was beginning to have questions about why what had happened, did. I guess I was coming out of shock or stun or whatever had been clouding my mind if I was beginning to think again.

  “There was an odd smell, but not a bad one, like flowers,” I said. “But hot and dry. Which was weird because the evening was kind of sticky, like the weather didn’t know if it wanted to rain or not. And then the dog appeared.”

  “It wasn’t a dog, from what Josh told us,” Rat said as he placed the teapot back on the table before sitting down next to Harper. “It was a Beast.”

  “Well, no dog would ever be that big, unless someone did something to it, so it could be beastly. And its tail looked like someone had teased the fur on it, it stood up so straight, even if there was something wrong with its face,” I said. “But it looked like a dog on steroids.”

  “Angry with no balls?” Rat asked, looking like he really wanted to know the answer.

  “What?” I was confused. What did that have to do with anything?

  “Side effect of male body builders who use steroids as a shortcut to get pumped,” Rat explained at my confusion. “It’s called ’roid rage.”

  “Which doesn’t have anything to do with what just happened,” Harper said impatiently.

  “He wasn’t angry, just big,” I continued. “If it had been angry, then it wouldn’t have been distracted by my food. It would have attacked us and then eaten my leftovers.”

  “I… I didn’t want Mykayla to be involved, but there was no way I could avoid it.” Uncle Yushua sighed. “She’s too young to know of such things. So I hesitated.”