I'm Not Who You Think I Am

by Felicitas Ivey

  There was silence as they all looked at each other. Involved in what? But I forged on with my explanation, because there was no hope of getting any answers until I finished. “I threw my leftovers at the dog to distract it.”

  “That was a good idea,” Rat encouraged. “And then what happened?”

  “Uncle Yushua start chanting, and the dog stopped. Not that it was doing anything more than nosing my food.” I thought for a second. “It sort of sounded like Arabic. The chanting, not the dog. It was big, and I’d never seen a dog that looked like that one before. Also it didn’t bark. It was like someone had taken out its voice box. I felt sorry for it.”

  “Why did you think it was Arabic?” Harper asked.

  “I’m from New York City,” I said. “Melting pot and all that. Plus, I like languages. I was thinking of seeing if I could take a course in Arabic when I go to college. My parents don’t like it, but I’m leaning toward linguistics more than the sciences they’re pushing.”

  “It wasn’t Arabic,” Rat said grimly. “But go on.”

  “The dog nosed at the food but didn’t go after us. I thought it was the chanting keeping it away, but it turned out the dog was just there so we were distracted.”

  “Why do you say that?” Harper asked.

  “Because the naked guy showed up,” I explained.

  “Naked Guy,” Rat echoed.

  “There’s a guy in Times Square who’s the Naked Cowboy. He likes to wear almost nothing all the time, even in the winter, except a cowboy hat. He covers things up in front with a guitar. If you don’t believe me, you can google it.”

  “There’s a reason to visit the Big Apple,” Rat joked.

  I swear Harper and I rolled our eyes at the same time. There were a lot more and better reasons to visit my city than a weirdo with no clothes.

  “But this guy was strange,” I said, getting back on track. “He was wearing a loincloth that didn’t hide anything. He would have looked better naked. I’m calling him Naked Guy because that’s what he was. Kind of.”

  “Did you know who he was?” Harper asked, looking over at Uncle Yushua.

  “I think he was the Companion of the Beast,” he said slowly. “That would be the only reason he chose to be there. But why, and more important, how did he manage to show up here? The writings say he is powerful, but the amount of skill and power needed to bring them both off the path is almost as much as the Shadow Pharaoh.”

  I heard the capitalization in the words, so it sounded like a title and not a name. But he would always be Naked Guy to me. Even if he wasn’t really naked. And it wasn’t like he shouldn’t be naked, because he was in shape. Good-looking too, even doing the shaved-head thing. Nicely tanned all over, strong cheekbones and a good nose. I was an ace, not dead! He looked nice, but so did the Beast now that I thought of it. I guess mystical beings always had to be pretty. And who was the other person Uncle Yushua was talking about?

  “That does make a certain sense,” Rat said.

  “He….” Uncle Yushua paused, looking really upset. “He seemed to know Mykayla.”

  I poured myself some more tea as I felt all their eyes on me. I cradled the mug in my hand for a moment before drinking it down too quickly. It didn’t help the sudden coldness I felt inside me. It wasn’t good that someone like that knew me. He hadn’t seemed evil, but it’s not like this was a video game and your character could sense something like that.

  “He did,” I finally said, when I thought about it. “He was talking to me like I was a girlfriend he hadn’t seen in a while.” That suddenly disturbed me on so many levels, and I shivered.

  Rat took my mug and added more tea and then handed it back to me. “Just take your time. What did he say?”

  “I didn’t understand it,” I replied, cradling the mug once more. I sipped a little tea to give myself time to think. And so it wouldn’t spill on me, because Rat had topped it off. My hands had stopped shaking, but there was a lot of tea in the mug, and I didn’t want to wear it. “But he sounded… sad.”

  I couldn’t believe I’d just said that.

  “But he doesn’t know enough to keep his hands to himself,” I finished. “Just showing up and calling me nice names and expecting me to know you, is kind of a… I hate to say it, but a dick move.”

  “That isn’t the best way to phrase it,” Uncle Yushua murmured. He poured more tea and sipped it. He shot Rat a look, and I wondered if he thought the tea was too strong or something. There was a strange burn to it, I noticed.

  “You didn’t think that was incredibly romantic?” Harper asked.

  “What brain-ruining dreck are you reading for romance?” I asked. “Do I feel sorry for him? Not really. He looked sad and I empathize, sort of. But he needs to keep his hands and other parts to himself. And what did he say to me, Uncle Yushua?”

  Uncle Yushua looked really uncomfortable at that question. “Unique companion was the first thing and beloved was the second,” he finally said. “The first is an ancient Egyptian phrase used to show a closeness to the pharaoh for a person who wasn’t family. This person could be anyone from a valued servant to a high-ranked noble, since most translations are of titles, but not exactly what the person’s duties were. And the second one….” He looked too upset to even finish the sentence.

  “That’s rude of him,” I muttered before sipping my tea.

  Rat laughed and I glared at him.

  “How would you like it if someone just popped up, said that, got handsy, and left? Just because he’s a man, Naked Guy probably thinks he gets to pull that crap. He’s going to be in for a surprise. This is the twenty-first century and that patriarchal horse hockey can go swim in the Hudson.”

  “And why’s that?” Harper asked, looking surprised. How would he like it if it happened to him? It could be different for guys, but I think Harper had never met someone who didn’t want to… to whatever with him once they met him and he showed he was interested in them. He was nice-looking. And wow, that was so shallow of me.

  “I’m not going to be an incredibly stupid person and run off with a cute guy because he kissed me,” I said. “That never ends well.”

  Well, it wasn’t really a kiss, but close enough. That head-touching thing had had me staring into Naked Guy’s eyes. He looked… vulnerable. Lost because something had gone wrong, and it wasn’t because Fido the wonder Beast had gone bye-bye with Uncle Yushua’s chanting.

  “What?” Rat asked.

  “Medea? Ariadne? Do those names ring a bell?” I asked sarcastically. “They trusted a cute guy and look what happened to them.”

  “While this is fascinating, don’t you think we should get back to the topic?” Harper asked.

  “Medea really got worked over by that idiot Jason,” I continued, ignoring him. “I can kinda see why she did what she did, even with her children. When we were reading it, Xiu’s grandmother told us a couple of stories about stuff like that in Chinese mythology. Xiu just thinks men suck, and she’s sticking to girls.”

  “How much rum did you put in the tea?” Uncle Yushua demanded.

  He was looking at me like I’d grown a second head. I guess he couldn’t believe the things coming out of my mouth. It was kind of funny.

  “About half,” Rat said. “And her grandmother sounds like a good lady.”

  Well, that might be the reason I couldn’t stop talking. Truth in wine and all that Latin. Rum might even work better, since it had a higher alcohol content. I just hoped I didn’t get a hangover in the morning from it.

  “Xiu’s parents aren’t happy about the whole sexuality thing. They think she’s confused and have her meeting a bunch of ‘nice boys,’ like that’s even going to work. Going to a girl’s school didn’t make her queer; she was born that way, like being good at math. But if that’s all they’re going to do, it’s not too bad. It’s not like they’re planning on sending her to a camp to beat or pray the gay out of her. Her Nainai would put a stop to that.”

  “Who’s Xiu?”
Harper asked.

  “She’s been my best friend since first grade,” I explained. “She’s sort of the daughter I think my parents wanted.”

  “Mykayla!” Uncle Yushua exclaimed.

  “She’s top of the class in the sciences. And she’s taking mostly science courses,” I said. “Xiu’s brilliant. I’m just smart in a different way. It’s not a bad thing, but I’m the only one at home who isn’t a scientist. I think if they could, my parents would have traded her for me a while ago. But I don’t want all of Xiu’s family. Not that the family hasn’t adopted me already, but her brothers are exhausting. Nainai’s cool, though.”

  “She’s the one you mentioned was interested in astrology,” Rat said, after an awkward silence.

  “She’s interested in everything,” I said. “That’s what makes her fun. We play a lot of games at lunch, because she doesn’t want to just eat. Though I think I make her cry, because I’m so bad at Onitama. I’m much better at deck-building games.”

  “What’s Onitama?” Rat asked.

  “It’s like chess on the same kind of board, but with half the pieces and only like four moves. Same principle of capturing the king, though. I’m not that good with strategy.”

  “While that is interesting…,” Harper started.

  Uncle Yushua looked disturbed.

  I sighed, wanting to reassure him. “I love my parents, but… I don’t think I’m what they wanted. Or if they wanted a third child. And can we stop talking about this?”

  I’d just spilled all my teenaged angst all over this mess. There was enough to worry about with Naked Guy and Fido, these guys didn’t need to hear all my crap also. Thankfully I’d kept my mouth shut about my sexuality, or Uncle Yushua would look even more upset than he was.

  “I think you’ve had enough to drink,” Rat said firmly, taking my mug from me. “Maybe going to sleep would be a better idea. We’re going to stay the night, and we can talk more in the morning.”

  I nodded and stood up. I felt a little wobbly, but it passed. I turned to look at Uncle Yushua. “Good night. You can tell me everything else in the morning.”

  “Drink some water before you go to bed,” Rat ordered.

  “I’m going to slosh all night,” I muttered as I carefully walked up the stairs.

  EVEN WITH all the caffeine in my blood, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, curled up in a little ball like I was Mafdet, because of the rum. That was probably why Rat had added it to the teapot, even if I was underage. I didn’t know how long I’d been sleeping when the dream started.

  I was walking down a wide street, with heat rising off it, even though it was nighttime. The moon had risen, fat and almost as big and bright as the sun. It was warm out, and I was just wearing a thin sheath dress, white and clinging to my body. The material was so thin I could see through it. It made me a little uncomfortable, since I didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath it either. The city looked familiar, but I knew I had never been here before.

  I looked around, seeing all the tall buildings lining the street. They weren’t skyscrapers, but they were still impressive: massive stone structures with an air of agelessness and magic to them.

  “Where am I?” I didn’t realize I had spoken that aloud until I heard a man answer.

  “We’re in Abydos, mryt.”

  I turned and Naked Guy was standing beside me.

  “How come I only understood some of that?” I asked. “And where is Abydos?”

  “Because we’re speaking in Greek.” He smiled reassuringly, studying my face. “We’re in the Two Lands, where else would we be?”

  I blinked when I heard that. I thought I had been speaking in English. I guess I unconsciously remembered more of the language than I realized.

  “Greek is the only language we have in common,” he explained as I continued to stare at him blankly. “I don’t know why.”

  He sounded confused and sad. Who was this guy? Was I supposed to know him?

  We were walking down the street, and I was gawking like a tourist in New York City. Good thing there wasn’t anyone else around, or I would have bumped into them because I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. But where were all the people?

  “How long has it been, then?”

  “I couldn’t tell you.” Was I supposed to know when we were as well as where? The Two Lands sounded familiar, as well as Abydos, but I didn’t know where I was supposed to be.

  Naked Guy sounded like he’d just lost his best friend, and I did feel sorry for him. He was feeding me all these cues, and I was failing to respond with what he thought were my lines.

  I stopped to stare at the colorful hieroglyphs on the wall. It was strange to see them in such good condition. There is only so much restoration a museum can do. The colors were vibrant, even in the moonlight. I wondered what it said.

  “And why not?”

  “I don’t know when this is supposed to be,” I said, looking at him. “If I don’t know the year, how can I tell you that?”

  He nodded before saying, “In the seventh year of the pharaoh Peribsen, he who is beloved of Set.”

  I thought about his answer as we started to walk again. I racked my brains for that name, but the Egyptian section in my world history survey had been a couple of years ago and had only lasted a week or so. I didn’t remember much of it, aside from Egypt being an empire that had lasted millennia.

  “That still doesn’t tell me anything,” I said as the silence stretched. “I can tell you it’s probably been several thousands of years at least.”

  He moved closer to me and I stepped back. “The word of the day is now boundaries,” I snapped.

  “But…,” he said, “you have forgotten who you were, as much as you’ve forgotten our language.”

  “Please don’t feed me that line of romance bullshit,” I said acidly. “That’s the ickiest romantic trope for me. Fated mates is such a crap concept.”

  “I don’t understand,” he said. He didn’t, but he had also listened to me and not violated my space.

  “I may be an ace, but I do like romance novels,” I explained. “And just because you say we’re meant to be, it doesn’t change the fact I don’t know you or even have an interest in having that type of relationship with you or anyone else. I don’t even know your name!”

  “I have been rude,” he said charmingly. “My name is Sutekhgen. And what does Ace mean?”

  He pronounced the word carefully, the c hissing like an s, because there isn’t a soft c in Greek.

  “I’m not interested in people sexually. It’s short for asexual,” I explained. “And my name is Mykayla.”

  “What a curious concept,” he mused.

  “It’s more than a concept,” I protested.

  It was my life, and for a second, he sounded like one of my brothers. It was probably the combination of him looking to be their age or a little older and the fact neither one of them ever took anything I said seriously.

  “I meant no harm,” he apologized as we continued our walk. “Mykayla. That is a strange name. What does it mean?”

  I shrugged. “It doesn’t really mean anything, I guess. It’s the female version of Michael, with an odd spelling. And I don’t know if Michael means anything, besides being the name of one of the archangels.”

  Sutekhgen didn’t ask what an archangel was, and we continued our tour of the city. It was strange and sad to see it in such a condition, like it was a perfectly preserved model and not a real city.

  “How’s your dog?” I asked after a while. “He didn’t get sick or anything? That lasagna was awful rich.”

  “My dog…. Oh, you mean the Beast.” He chuckled. “I assure you he is fine. Your companion’s spells had made him uncomfortable, so I allowed him to leave. But he did enjoy your offering.”

  “Well, I didn’t want him to eat me or Uncle….” Maybe giving him Uncle Yushua’s name wasn’t a good idea. I vaguely remembered something about names having power with certa
in things. I’d been an idiot and told him mine. I didn’t even know if Sutekhgen was his real name. “Eat us. And it was good. The lasagna. So….”

  “Your uncle is skilled in magic,” Sutekhgen said.

  “I guess,” I said uncomfortably. “Um…. Not to be rude or anything, but what do you want?”

  Sutekhgen laughed. I felt silly and uncomfortable, so I tried to phrase my question a little bit better.

  “Well, what I meant to say was, what brought you and your dog to Boston?”

  “I have not heard of that city,” Sutekhgen said thoughtfully.

  “It’s only been around for a couple hundred years,” I explained.

  “Is Boston farther away than Knossos?” he asked.

  “Um….” I was trying to think where that was. “Oh, you mean Crete.”

  And then I knew where we were, sort of. The Two Lands was Egypt. Abydos was someplace on the Nile, I guess. I got where and when, for the most part, not that it was doing me any good.

  “How long would it take to sail?”

  “I don’t know, since most travel is done by air nowadays. It might take about ten hours or so. That depends on where you change planes and how long the layover is.”

  “Flying sounds like a fascinating concept. Is it dangerous?”

  I thought about terrorists hijacking planes, getting shot down by rebels flying in the wrong place at the wrong time, and just having things break and causing the plane to crash that way too. Was it dangerous? Probably, but any sort of traveling could be dangerous with bus and car crashes, as well as train derailments.

  “It can be, sort of like traveling by ship can be dangerous,” I said.

  He nodded thoughtfully. “Sinking is a danger. So is getting eaten by a crocodile or hippopotamus if they decide to go after your boat.” He grinned. “Horus learned about such things when he opposed my God.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t too sure who Horus was. Egyptian mythology was complicated and filled with deities who were locally worshipped, as well as the national ones. But Horus was an important one. I think.