Paper Love

by Jae

  For a second, Susanne’s normally cool, calm, and collected expression slipped, and she actually looked a bit panicked. “Um, sure. If you give me a minute first to get rid of the mustard stain.”

  “Oh. Of course.”

  She disappeared into the bathroom, which gave Anja a chance to fan her overheated cheeks. Why the heck was she blushing just because of some mustard?

  When Susanne returned a short while later, Anja resisted the urge to check out her chest to see if the stain was gone. She left her in charge and went to the office.

  The door was open so Nobby would hear the bell whenever a customer entered the store, and he looked up as she approached. He greeted her with a smile, but it wasn’t quite one of the full-out, warm Nobby smiles she had grown used to. “How was lunch? Did you get a veggie Currywurst, or did you not make it past the cheesecake in the café down the street?”

  Why was he still trying to make everything appear normal? He needed his energy to fight against his business going down, not to mislead his employee. Besides, she considered herself much more than an employee. Nobby was more like an uncle than an employer to her, and she had thought he considered her family too.

  “Oh, Nobby.” She crossed the room and perched on the edge of the desk as she had so many times before. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  His weak smile instantly fell. “Susanne told you about…?” He gestured at the business ledgers he’d been brooding over.

  She nodded. “Why didn’t you? Why let me find out this way?”

  “I’m sorry. I thought I’d be able to turn things around and you’d never have to find out. I didn’t want you to have to live with that constant, nagging worry.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me. I’m thirty-six. I’m no longer the wet-behind-the-ears girl you first hired. I could have helped. Maybe together, we could have found a way to save Paper Love.”

  “We still can. At least that’s what I’m hoping.”

  “If your niece doesn’t fire me first.”

  Nobby shook his head so vehemently that his leftover flyaway hair bounced from left to right. “No one is firing you.”

  Anja looked him in the eyes. Her throat ached, and she had to swallow twice before she could speak. “If that’s what you have to do to save Paper Love, then do it.”

  “No!” He glanced away, and she had a feeling his beard hid a hint of a blush. “I…I always thought… I always imagined you taking over as the new owner once I retire.”

  It was a wonderful dream, but that’s all it was: a dream. “You know I don’t have the money to buy the store from you.” Even if she worked until she was ninety years old and saved every last cent she made, she would never be able to afford a building in this part of the city—or any building anywhere in Freiburg for that matter.

  “Who’s talking about buying it? I want to give you the store. You know I don’t have any kids, and my nieces… Well, you’ve met Susanne. I appreciate her coming all the way here to help, but I doubt she wants to stay.”

  “You can’t do that, Nobby. You inherited the store from your father. What would your family say if you gave it to a virtual stranger?”

  Nobby shrugged. “I inherited it from my father because, unlike my brother, I shared his passion for stationery. No one else in the family does, so they’ll just have to live with my decision.”

  “That… I…I don’t know what to say.” She cleared her throat to get rid of the lump that had settled there. “Except you do know that you have to stick around for at least thirty more years, right?”

  He chuckled and patted her hand. “Not going anywhere.”

  “And neither is Paper Love,” Anja said.

  Nobby sighed. “I don’t know. Things don’t look good.”

  She gripped the edges of the old, worn desk. “How long do we have until…?”

  “A month or two. If we don’t see any improvement by March, I’ll have to—”

  A knock on the door interrupted the words Anja hadn’t wanted to hear anyway.

  “Come in,” Nobby called so quickly that she knew he hadn’t wanted to say them either.

  The door opened, and his niece stuck her head into the tiny office. “Um, I have a customer out there, but I don’t understand what he wants—and it’s not just because of his dialect. He says he’s looking for a wet ink. Isn’t all ink wet? I mean, it’s a liquid.”

  Anja laughed, leaned over, and gave Nobby’s shoulder a quick squeeze before getting up and walking toward Susanne. “All right. I’ll come save you, fountain pen novice.” She just hoped they could somehow manage to save the entire store too.

  “It’s Frau Fountain Pen Novice, please,” Susanne said with a straight face, but a softening around her eyes revealed that she was joking.

  So she did have a sense of humor. Good. They would probably need it in the weeks to come.

  Chapter 5

  Susanne flipped through the pen magazine that Frau Lamm had been reading yesterday, trying to familiarize herself with some of the terms of the fountain pen world. Dry ink, wet ink, music nib, squeeze converter, breather hole, piston filler… Dozens of terms buzzed around her brain and made her feel a bit dizzy.

  Or maybe her distractedness was responsible for her not grasping any of the terms in the magazine.

  After every sentence she read, she peered up from behind the cover of Pen World and glanced over at Frau Lamm, who had climbed up on a stepladder to hang a bunch of paper animals so that they dangled over the island display.

  The ladder wasn’t very high, just a three-step, but she didn’t seem comfortable up there. She held on to the grip with one hand while trying to hang a paper flamingo with the other.

  It made Susanne a bit nervous too. The last thing her uncle needed was a workplace accident. “Want me to do that?”

  For a moment, Frau Lamm looked tempted to let her take over, but then she shook her head. “I can do it.”

  “Suit yourself.” She had offered, so now Frau Lamm was on her own. But she couldn’t help keeping an eye on her.

  Since Frau Lamm was short, she had to stretch to reach the ceiling. The sweater she wore rode up, revealing a strip of smooth skin and a toned belly.

  Admittedly, Anja didn’t look bad for a paper geek.

  The random thought made Susanne frown. Where the hell had that come from? And since when did she think of her as anything but Frau Lamm? She resolved to keep her eyes—and her thoughts—on work. “So care to explain that wet ink/dry ink stuff you were talking about with the customer yesterday?”

  Frau Lamm paused in her attempts to hang the paper flamingo. “Basically, it’s about the viscosity of the ink. Some inks flow more quickly from the nib, so they’re called wet. There are even some companies who add lubricants to their inks. In comparison, a dry ink has a slower flow, so there’s a bit more friction when you write.”

  Wet, lubricants, friction. Susanne hid her grin behind the pen magazine. Who knew that inks could sound so sexy?

  At least when Frau Lamm talked about them. She launched into an explanation of various examples for wet and dry inks, gesturing animatedly with both hands. She seemed to have forgotten her earlier discomfort at being on a ladder.

  It was kind of cute how enthusiastic the usually quiet woman became when she spoke about inks, but at the same time, on top of a ladder wasn’t the best place for that much enthusiasm. It wobbled on the uneven wood floor, making Frau Lamm drop the flamingo as she latched on to the grip.

  Susanne put down the magazine and pointed at the paper animals. “Come on. Let me do that.”

  “I told you I can do it.”

  “I’m not saying you can’t. But I’m taller. If you hand me the animals and I pin them, we’ll be done in no time.”

  After a moment’s hesitation, Frau Lamm nodded. “All right. Thanks.” She climbed down and picked up the paper flamingo.

  Susanne climbed up, ignoring the fact that her thigh brushed against Frau Lamm’s shoulder in the process. Wh
en Frau Lamm handed her the flamingo, she pinned it to the ceiling by the attached string.

  Next, Frau Lamm held out what looked like a fox.

  Susanne took it, careful not to let their hands brush. “Who made them?” She nodded down at the zoo of animals waiting to be hung.

  “I did. Not during working hours, if that’s why you’re asking. I enjoy getting creative in my spare time, so I don’t want Nobby to pay me for it, and the paper I used is my own.”

  “No, that’s not why I asked.” Susanne sighed, but she couldn’t blame her for being a little defensive. Even though they seemed to have achieved some kind of truce now, Frau Lamm probably wouldn’t forget that she’d told Uncle Norbert he might need to fire her. “I just think they’re cute. That’s all.”

  “Oh. Thanks.”

  Silence descended on them as Susanne pinned the fox. When she looked back down, Frau Lamm stood with her back to her, sorting through the paper animals.

  “Listen,” Susanne said. “I know you think I’m a heartless bitch, and I really shouldn’t care, but when I told my uncle he might need to fire you, I really didn’t—”

  “No.” Frau Lamm turned around.

  “No, I should care, or no, you don’t think that about me?”

  A hint of a smile flitted across Frau Lamm’s face. “Either. Both.”

  Susanne gave her a dubious look.

  “You do come across like a bit of a hard-ass, but I don’t think you’re entirely heartless.”

  Entirely? Susanne arched her brows. Thanks a lot.

  “You’re here, after all, and I doubt it’s because Nobby is paying you handsomely for your services.”

  Her uncle wasn’t paying her at all. He had tried to offer her money, but she had refused to accept it. Susanne said nothing and took the next animal Frau Lamm handed her. It was a dove that carried an olive branch in its beak. Was that supposed to be a peace offering?

  The look in Frau Lamm’s eyes—a lot friendlier than before—made her think so. Susanne gave her a nod and pinned the dove to the ceiling.

  Frau Lamm reached for a frog next, but when Susanne wanted to take it from her, she held on. “What do you think our chances are?”

  She spoke so quietly that Susanne had to strain to understand her. “Of saving Paper Love, you mean?”

  Frau Lamm bit her lip and nodded.

  “I can’t give you a specific number. Not yet at least. It’s not just this store I’m not familiar with; I also don’t know much about the stationery industry in general—and I have a feeling that’s part of the problem. The stationery industry, I mean. I bet it’s changed a lot since my grandfather first opened the store in 1950.”

  “It has,” Frau Lamm said. “In those early years, he made a living just selling and repairing fountain pens and nothing else, but then ballpoint pens became popular, and he had to branch out.”

  It was strange that she knew more about that part of Susanne’s family history than she did, but, of course, she had heard all the stories from Uncle Norbert since she’d worked with him for years, while Susanne hadn’t seen him in ages. “To be honest, I think that all stationery stores will be struggling soon, if they aren’t already. They’ll probably go the way of the old vinyl record stores. I mean, this is the digital era, so aren’t fountain pens and paper notebooks becoming obsolete?”

  “Not at all.”

  Susanne studied her.

  As Frau Lamm stood in the middle of the store, clutching a paper frog, she looked a bit like a princess from a fairy tale, not like a real-life modern woman. Maybe it was her slight build or her big, dreamy eyes that made her appear that way, but Susanne couldn’t help wondering if she was indulging in wishful thinking when it came to her beloved paper products.

  Frau Lamm waved the frog as if it were a defensive weapon. “Like you just said, you don’t know the stationery business.”

  “So enlighten me.”

  “I know you think any reasonable person would use a smartphone and a note-taking app and that it’s just nostalgic, old-fashioned people who resort to pen and paper, but that’s not true. Analog products are actually making a comeback as a countermovement to the digital trend—and that includes vinyl records, by the way.”

  If that was true, it wasn’t happening in Susanne’s circles. “Really?”

  “Oh yeah. Young people want to express their individuality, but you can’t do that with digital devices because all the Samsungs and iPhones look the same. That’s why they decorate their cell phone covers with pink glitter.”

  They both shuddered a little and grinned at each other.

  “All right,” Susanne finally said. “But we’re not selling cell phone covers or pink glitter.”

  “It doesn’t stop there. People are taking up hobbies such as hand lettering, bullet journaling, or scrapbooking. Coloring books for adults were a big thing a year or two ago, and even Polaroid-style instant cameras are making a comeback.”

  “Really?” Susanne’s father had owned a camera like that when she’d been a child, and she remembered her parents arguing because he had constantly wasted the expensive photos on snapshots of himself making silly grimaces. As a kid, she had thought it funny, but now she viewed it as a waste of money. “Why would people resort to low-resolution images like those? Nowadays, every smartphone has a better camera.”

  “Yeah, but the digital photos usually stay on your phone. You can’t touch them. People want that instant tactile connection. They are rediscovering the pleasure of doing things with their hands.”

  If Frau Lamm hadn’t been an employee, her words combined with her sexy voice would have made Susanne think of other pleasurable things she could do with her hands, but since they worked together, she wouldn’t allow her thoughts to wander in that direction.

  Frau Lamm put down the frog and picked up a leather-bound journal from the island display. “I don’t know if you have ever tried out a good fountain pen. Not one of those cheap, scratchy things we’re forced to use in school, but a really great one. That smooth glide of a nib over creamy paper with just the right amount of pressure.” Her gaze went hazy, and a smile played around the corners of her mouth. “That’s so much more sensual than punching keys on a keyboard. There’s something almost intimate about it.”

  She smoothed her hands over the leather cover of the journal as she spoke, then opened the book, circled the rounded corners with a sensual stroke of her fingertip, and practically made love to the thick, ivory paper.

  Susanne’s mouth went dry as her thoughts rushed into territory she tried to stay away from. She grasped the top of the stepladder to keep her balance.

  Frau Lamm looked up at her. “Come on. Even you have to admit it. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

  Susanne swallowed and had to tear her gaze away from those delicate yet strong hands before she could answer. “Mm-hmm. Very nice.”

  “I knew you’d see it my way.” Frau Lamm winked and walked away to greet a customer who entered the store.

  Susanne’s mouth was probably hanging open as she stared at her retreating back. What the hell was that? Had Anja—Frau Lamm, dammit—just flirted with her? Had she practically seduced that lucky journal because she wanted to see what kind of effect it would have on Susanne?

  Uncle Norbert stepped up to her, jolting her out of her thoughts. “You’re not getting dizzy up there, are you? You look a little…stunned.”

  Susanne jumped down, folded up the ladder, and dragged it to the side so it wouldn’t get in the way of Frau Lamm and the customer. “No. I’m fine,” she answered in a voice so low that the customer couldn’t hear her. “It’s just dawning on me that the stationery business truly is a world of its own. One I don’t have a clue about.”

  And neither did she have a clue about what Frau Lamm was doing. Was she playing with her? Susanne hated straight women who did that. Or even worse, was she using her knowledge of Susanne’s sexual orientation to stop her from firing her?

  If that was what she was
doing, she was wasting her time. No way would Susanne let herself be manipulated like that. She was here to work, not to flirt with an employee. If need be, she would simply stay away from Frau Lamm and keep their interaction to a minimum.

  There. Problem solved. She nodded to herself.

  “Yes, it is,” Uncle Norbert said.

  “Huh?” Susanne had nearly forgotten that she’d been talking to him.

  “A world of its own. But don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it.” He patted her arm. “And I’ve got just the thing to help you.” With a triumphant “ta-da,” he pulled something from his shirt pocket and dangled it beneath her nose.

  “Paperworld,” Susanne read the print on one of the two pieces of paper. “Isn’t that the name of the pen magazine Anja, um, Frau Lamm likes to read?”

  Uncle Norbert chuckled. “That’s Pen World. This is Paperworld. It’s the world’s biggest stationery and office supply trade fair. And I just got two free tickets. I thought you and Anja could go. Maybe you’ll come back with some great ideas for how to turn the store around.”

  Susanne stared at the two tickets in his hand. “It’s not in Freiburg, is it?”

  “No. It’s in Frankfurt at the end of the month.”

  That meant a two-hour drive each way at the very least. Great. Not even a minute ago, she had resolved to keep her interaction with Frau Lamm to a minimum, and here he was, suggesting that they be joined at the hip for an entire day—or possibly even an overnight stay.

  “So?” He held up the tickets again. “What do you think?”

  “Stationery road trip. Yay.” She hoped he’d put her unenthusiastic tone down to her lack of passion for stationery. At least she had about two weeks before the fair to get her head back into the game.

  “If you’d rather have it in another color, I can order whatever we don’t have in stock.” Anja watched the customer run his hands over the notebook the same way she had just caressed the leather-bound journal.

  Okay, maybe not the exact same way.

  What on earth had she been thinking? It had started out as an attempt to show Susanne the appeal of notebooks but had then snowballed into something much more…sensual. She definitely hadn’t planned on doing that. Susanne wasn’t a friend and certainly not someone she could joke around and flirt with like that! Even if she hadn’t tried to get her fired from her dream job just a few hours ago, she so wasn’t Anja’s type.