Paper Love

by Jae

  The tension that had gripped Anja all morning vanished. “Aww. How cute.”

  “I’m not sure how cute it is to have a cat pulling on my hair because he needs to pee.”

  “Not the cat. You.” It was good to hear that she hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t slept a lot last night. Maybe Susanne needed to hear it too, so Anja gave herself a mental kick. “I didn’t sleep much either.”

  Susanne’s gaze softened. She pushed away from the counter and slowly walked up to Anja. “You didn’t?”

  Anja shook her head. Now that Susanne was so close, she drank in her face, her eyes, her soft lips… As if pulled in by gravity, she leaned toward her.

  The bell above the door jingled again, tearing them apart before they could touch.

  No! Not now! Anja forced a pleasant smile onto her face and turned toward the customer, a well-dressed woman in her thirties. “Good morning. May I help you?”

  “Good morning.” The customer glanced around. “I’m looking for a Valentine’s Day gift for my boyfriend. I hear fountain pens are like jewelry for men, so…”

  Oh shit. Valentine’s Day! Despite the paper heart decorations in the store’s window, Anja had temporarily forgotten that Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. For the past three years, the day had held little meaning for her beyond increased sales of fountain pens and gift cards. But now… Her gaze darted to Susanne. Should she get her a gift or do something special for Valentine’s Day too?

  The customer looked back and forth between Anja and Susanne. “Did I hear wrong?”

  “Oh, no, no. You heard exactly right,” Anja said. “Getting him a fountain pen for Valentine’s Day is a great idea.”

  The woman beamed. “So do you have one you can recommend?”

  Anja opened her mouth to give her several options when the store’s phone rang. She glanced toward the counter. That was probably Herr Schneider calling to check if his order had come in.

  “Go take the call,” Susanne said. “I’ve got this.”

  Anja gave her an are-you-sure look, which Susanne answered with a smile and a nod. It hadn’t been that long ago that Anja wouldn’t have trusted her with a customer, but she felt bad about doubting Susanne when she’d been late, so she didn’t want to do it a second time. After a quick pat to Susanne’s arm, she hurried to the counter, picked up the phone, and carried it to the back room so Susanne and the customer could talk without being bothered.

  It was indeed Herr Schneider, and she only needed a minute to assure him that his order had arrived and could be picked up any time. When she returned to the sales area, Susanne and the customer stood next to the unlocked display case. The woman held a Pelikan Classic M205 and admired its pretty marble swirls from all sides.

  Oh no. That pen wouldn’t work for her boyfriend at all. It was too small and too light for most men.

  But before she could cross the room and say so, Susanne shook her head. “I don’t think that one is going to work. Men usually prefer a more substantial pen with a longer barrel and a thicker grip section. They have bigger hands, so a dainty pen is going to make them cramp up if they write for a longer period of time.”

  Wow. Anja paused in the doorway and watched with a stunned smile as Susanne handed the woman a Pelikan Souverän M805. Apparently, Susanne had listened attentively whenever Anja had explained their pens to customers.

  The woman laughed. “So size does matter after all.”

  Susanne chuckled, and the sound warmed Anja all over. “It does when it comes to pens.”

  “I like it.” The woman studied the pen. “How much is it?”

  Again, Anja resisted the urge to step in and supply the information.

  Susanne glanced at the tag inside of the glass case. “This one is four hundred and thirty euros.”

  The woman let out a little gasp. “I’m not sure I want to spend that much. The relationship is still pretty new, and I don’t want him to think that I’m trying for too much, too soon.”

  Maybe that answered Anja’s earlier question about whether to get Susanne a gift for Valentine’s Day. They had agreed on no promises and no expectations beyond the right now, and a Valentine’s Day gift, especially traditional presents such as jewelry, implied a certain level of commitment. Putting that kind of pressure on Susanne wouldn’t be fair.

  “Totally understandable,” Susanne said, as if agreeing with Anja’s unspoken decision. “I’m sure we can find something more affordable.” She turned her head and didn’t seem surprised to see Anja in the doorway, watching her. Maybe she had sensed her presence. “What would you recommend?”

  Anja loved that Susanne had deferred to her, even though she had done well with the customer so far. “How about the Diplomat Excellence? It’s about the same size as the M805, and it looks really classy for only one hundred euros.” She crossed the room and bent over the glass case to find the pen. Her shoulder brushed Susanne’s, making a shiver trail across her skin.

  The woman inspected the pen Anja handed her. “Perfect. Thank you so much.”

  Within a few minutes, their happy customer was out the door with a gift-wrapped pen in her purse.

  Susanne pretended to dust off her hands. “Not too bad for a digital snob, right?”

  Anja rounded the counter and wrapped her arms around Susanne’s neck in an exuberant hug. “You were great! We’re gonna make a pen geek out of you after all.”

  Susanne slid her arms around Anja’s waist and spread her fingers wide as if to cover as much of her as possible. “Is that a threat?” she purred.

  “That’s a promise,” Anja answered, trying for the same tone.

  Apparently, it worked, because Susanne shuddered.

  Anja ran her fingers through Susanne’s hair the way she had longed to since the moment Susanne had stepped into the store earlier. She wanted to tell her how much she liked this just-out-of-bed look, but before she could, Susanne kissed her, and the words faded away.

  Susanne’s lips moved over hers in a tender caress. Anja sensed that the kiss was more about reconnecting than about passion. Maybe Susanne had felt a bit insecure too when she had entered the store, not knowing what to expect.

  Anja returned the kiss with the same gentleness and lost herself in the warmth and softness of Susanne’s mouth.

  Just as Susanne fitted her body against hers and deepened the kiss, the bell above the door announced another customer.

  God, their customers’ timing sucked. They jumped apart, and Anja wiped her mouth as inconspicuously as possible, trying not to look as if she had just shared one of the best kisses of her life.

  Instead of a customer, Miri entered the store. She let the door close behind her, put her hands on her hips, and regarded them with a broad grin. “Now, that gives a whole new meaning to the name Paper Love!”

  So much for being discreet. Anja hoped she wasn’t blushing as she hugged her friend. “What are you doing here?”

  “I had to pick up a new showerhead for the women’s shelter. I’m a social worker,” Miri added, turning toward Susanne. “From the looks of it, you two could do with a shower too—a cold one anyway.”

  Anja ignored her teasing. “So your search for a showerhead brings you to Paper Love…how?”

  “The department store isn’t far from here, and after the way you left the lake yesterday, I thought I would drop by and check on you. See if I needed to dry any tears. But I can see that you actually need a dental dam more urgently than tissues.”

  “Miriam Blattmann!” Now Anja couldn’t fight the flush that swept up her neck. Her cheeks burned fiercely. “Don’t mind her, Susanne. She grew up among wolves.”

  Susanne looked more amused than scandalized. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m used to comments like that from Franzi, and she doesn’t even have the wolf-pack excuse.”

  Miri’s teasing grin turned into an imploring gaze. “I take it you two are fine?” She searched Anja’s face. “You are fine?”

  “I’m fine. More than fine, actually.�
�� Anja gripped Susanne’s hand.

  Susanne grinned. “She’s very, very fine.”

  New heat shot into Anja’s cheeks. “What’s this? A competition to see who can embarrass me the most?”

  Miri shook her head and winked at Susanne. “Why compete if we can both do it, right?”

  “Right.” Susanne rubbed her thumb along the back of Anja’s hand.

  Miri glanced at her wristwatch. “I have to go. How about that double date on Saturday?”

  “Double date?” Susanne stiffened and eyed Miri cautiously. “The three of us and…?”

  “Your sister, of course!” Miri rolled her eyes. “I might be pretty irresistible, but contrary to popular belief, I don’t have women lined up at my door. One woman at a time is enough for me, thank you very much.”

  “Sorry,” Susanne mumbled. “I didn’t mean to imply… I guess I get a little protective when it’s about my sister, and I didn’t know Franzi was coming back to Freiburg so soon.”

  “Like I said, I’m pretty irresistible.” Miri swiped at her very short hair, pretending to flick it back over her shoulder.

  “You’re pretty impossible.” Anja threw one of the paper hearts from the center island at her.

  Miri caught it. “See? Even your girlfriend is throwing her heart at me.”

  Girlfriend? Anja’s cheeks warmed again. She sneaked a glance at Susanne to see how she would react.

  But Susanne showed no reaction at all. Either she had put on her impenetrable I’m-at-work mask, or someone calling Anja her girlfriend was the most normal thing in the world for her.

  Anja hoped it was the latter but had a feeling it might be the former.

  With a wave and a “see you Saturday,” Miri slipped out of the store.

  Susanne stared after her. “Hey, she didn’t give your heart back.”

  She never had it, Anja wanted to say. Not the way— She cut herself off before she could finish the thought. One day at a time, remember?

  She tugged on Susanne’s hand. “I wrote a blog post about scented inks earlier. Want to see it?”

  “Sure, but do I have time to get myself a cup of coffee first?”

  Aww. Apparently, Susanne had jumped out of bed and rushed to work without making coffee, either eager to see her or not wanting to leave her alone with the work at the store. Both options were pretty touching.

  Anja flashed a teasing grin. “There’s coffee-scented ink.”

  “Is it drinkable?”

  “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

  “Then I need coffee first. And this.” Susanne pulled her close by their joined hands and kissed her quickly but firmly. Then she went to get coffee for them both, leaving Anja with a kiss-induced smile on her lips.

  “Finally!” Susanne leaned back in her recliner and pressed the phone to her ear. “Reaching you is harder than getting an audience with the pope! I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday, but it kept going to voice mail.”

  “Sorry about that,” Franzi answered. “But you’d better get used to it. I talk to Miri a lot right now, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”

  Was that what she and Anja would be doing in the future too? Seeing each other only two or three weekends a month and talking on the phone every evening?

  Would that be so bad?

  “So this isn’t just some fun weekend fling, is it?” Susanne asked.

  “That first weekend when I met her, I thought that was all it was gonna be, but now… I admit I’m pretty smitten with her.”

  “That’s great. I like her. I mean, she’s a little crazy, but that makes her a good fit for you.”

  “Hey! It’s not my fault that I got all the fun genes and you ended up with the dependable, boring ones.”

  Susanne let out a snort. “You wish.”

  “By the way, I’m coming down to Freiburg this weekend. I want to check on Uncle Nobby.”

  “Uncle Norbert. That’s who you’ll come to see. Sure.”

  “Well, maybe not just him,” Franzi admitted. “No need to make up the couch for me this time. I’m staying with Miri.”

  Susanne hadn’t expected anything else. “God, you really are smitten.”

  “Oh, and you aren’t?”

  The line went silent while Susanne took several deep breaths. Was she?

  “Come on, admit it. Miri told me she caught the two of you in the middle of a hot make-out session, during business hours no less!”

  “It wasn’t a make-out session. I was just kissing her hello.”

  “Hey, no need to get defensive. I’m happy for you.” Franzi chuckled. “Wouldn’t it be crazy if both of us ended up moving to Freiburg? And I didn’t even have to step into a Bächle!”

  “Whoa!” Susanne held up her free hand even though Franzi couldn’t see it. “I didn’t say anything about moving to Freiburg! Right now, we’re just seeing where it might go. Are you really at that point already? Franzi, this is crazy! You’ve known her for all of two weeks!”

  “What, you think you lesbians have a monopoly on the U-Haul phenomenon? I’ll have you know that some of us bisexuals aren’t immune to premature-moving-van syndrome either.”

  “Franzi…”

  Her sister laughed. “Just kidding. God, lighten up. We’re not moving in with each other anytime soon, although I wouldn’t rule it out for the future. But for now, we’re taking it one day at a time.”

  Susanne exhaled and rubbed the back of her neck. The muscles there were tense. Maybe Franzi was right—she really should lighten up and not worry so much or she wouldn’t survive the next six weeks. But she wasn’t as good as her sister at living in the here and now; she always thought five steps ahead and never went into any situation without a solid business plan.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go all big sister on you.” Susanne paused. “So are you giving her anything for Valentine’s Day?”

  “What? Are you afraid I’m going to send her a ring?” From Franzi’s tone, it was obvious that she was grinning.

  “I’m serious. Are you getting her a gift?”

  “I thought about taking her to a tree-top ropes course on Saturday afternoon. Is that non-U-Hauly enough for you?”

  Susanne laughed. “Yes, that has my sisterly approval.” But it didn’t help her decide what to do about Valentine’s Day herself. With her fear of heights, Anja probably wouldn’t enjoy an afternoon up in the trees.

  “You’re not just asking because you’re worried about me and Miri moving too fast, are you?”

  Her sister knew her too well. Susanne sighed. “It’s been a day, an hour, and twenty minutes since Anja and I…since we agreed to give it a chance. We said no promises. So do I give her something for Valentine’s Day? What if I don’t and she’s got something for me? I don’t want her to think I don’t care, but I also don’t want to make any promises I might not be able to—”

  “Susanne,” her sister said, instantly getting her full attention. Franzi never called her anything but Susi. “You’re overthinking things.”

  Susanne let her head drop back against the recliner. “I know you’re right, but…”

  “Just do whatever feels right. Anja doesn’t seem like the type of woman who would expect grand gestures anyway.”

  Susanne remembered the no-glitter conversation. “She’s not.”

  “If all else fails, why not give her a pen? She’s crazy about that kind of stuff, isn’t she?”

  “God, yes, she is.” Susanne chuckled a little as she thought about what a geek Anja could be. “But a pen is out of the question. Fountain pens are the new jewelry.”

  “They are?”

  Susanne shrugged. “Apparently. I think I’ll just try to play it by ear tomorrow.” After all, that was what Anja and she had decided to do—enjoy the moment without worrying about where it would lead.

  “Yeah. That’s what you always do when it comes to relationships,” Franzi said. “You never agonize over stuff like this. Why should it be different now?”
<
br />   Because everything feels different with Anja. But she wasn’t ready to voice that thought, not even to her twin sister. “Thanks. Guess I’ll see you on Saturday, then. Don’t break your neck on the ropes course, okay?”

  Franzi chuckled. “Not planning on it.”

  They said goodbye and ended the call.

  “No agonizing. Just play it by ear,” Susanne told herself. Determined to stop thinking about it, she reached for her laptop to check in with the company setting up Paper Love’s webstore.

  Chapter 16

  The store didn’t have a lot of customers the next afternoon, maybe because everyone else was preparing to spend the evening with their partner. Would Anja get to do the same? She wasn’t sure Susanne would want to. Maybe she would think doing something on Valentine’s Day would imply too much of a commitment, and they were trying to avoid that for now.

  Just ask her and find out instead of brooding over it! She peeked over at Susanne, who sat behind the counter and adjusted her camera lens to take photos of fountain pens and ink bottles for the blog.

  But before Anja could open her mouth, Susanne put down the camera and looked over at her. Her gray eyes twinkled. “Want to get inky with me?”

  Anja forgot the questions plaguing her and walked over. She couldn’t help smiling. “Get inky, hmm? What did you have in mind?”

  “Remember the pen that dripped ink all over my fingers? I still have no clue how to fill up one of those. Can you show me?”

  Anja beamed. Susanne showing an interest in her beloved pens was the best Valentine’s Day gift she could imagine. “Sure.” She grabbed a bottle of her favorite ink—a rich, dark-bluish purple—slid a second stool behind the counter, and took a seat next to her.

  Susanne handed her the pen she had just photographed.

  “That one is not a piston filler. Let’s try it with this one.” Anja reached for another pen.

  Susanne directed an expectant gaze at Anja’s hands, watching every motion.

  A tingle went through Anja at having Susanne’s intense focus on her. Somehow it felt incredibly intimate to have her look at her hands. She cleared her throat. “Here.” She gave Susanne the pen. “You try it. I’ll talk you through it.”