Desertion

by River Savage

  “Fuck off.” I scoff, knowing I won’t. Not now when my head is fucked up with Bell. But I’m not telling them that. “Just because you three are fucking whipped.” I nod to the remaining three left at the table.

  “We’re not fuckin’ whipped,” Nix snaps, his expression letting me know I’m pissing him off.

  “Hey, I’m just saying. I’m not tied down. Don’t have to deal with a tired wife, screaming kids. It must be hard. No wonder you’re all cranky fuckers.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Jesse. You got no idea.” Nix rubs his face.

  “I know the pussy I get never says no.” I throw in, watching his jaw tick. I laugh, knowing I’m pushing, but I’m out of sorts after what happened with Bell last night and I need to feel like the old me. The one that believes the shit he’s saying.

  “Jesse, I suggest you shut the fuck up, right fuckin’ now,” Nix warns, but it’s what I do. I fuck with him and watch him lose his shit. It’s our thing.

  “What’s the matter, boss man? Your dick not getting wet?” My ass leaves the seat as Nix’s hands find my cut.

  “Whoa, whoa.” Sy tries to pull Nix off, but the look in his eyes shows he’s about to snap. I don’t think he can be talked down.

  “Too far?” I ask, throwing him the smile I use when I know I’m in deep shit.

  “Get the fuck out and go find Beau.” He pulls me up by my cut and pushes me toward the door.

  “Got ya, but I just want to say, I didn’t know Kadence was holding out on you.” I deliver one final blow, fixing my messed-up cut.

  “Jesse, I swear to fuckin’ Christ, get the fuck OUT!” His fist comes down in front of him. I shrug, laughing as I leave.

  Fuck, even stirring shit doesn’t make me feel better. I walk through the club more messed up than I normally am. What the fuck has Bell done to me?

  * * *

  ME: How are you feeling?

  I decide to send a text to Bell as I make my way inside Happy Chef and take a seat next to Tiny. I probably should call her, since it’s been six days, but I’m still pissed, and a phone call isn’t on the cards.

  “Hey, Tiny, you seen Beau?” I ask, waving the waitress off. I’m not here for lunch. I’ve been searching for Tiny all morning and I’m starting to get pissed at Beau for fucking with my day.

  “It look like I’ve seen him?” he responds, taking another bite of his burger. Tiny is a huge man, despite the name. Standing at least six-foot nine, the man could outweigh Beau and me.

  “You see him around, you tell him Nix wants to see him.” I stand, knowing he won’t give me anything. He’s pissed off, with good reason too.

  “You see him tell him he’s not getting info on the Paige girl until he pulls his shit together.”

  “You got word on Paige?” I stop and turn at her name.

  “Might have a lead,” his reply is cryptic and I know how this works.

  “I’ll get you what you need,” I offer, prepared for anything. The police are at a dead end. We need everything we can get.

  “I need Beau to get his shit together. He missed the drop off today and it’s not the first time he’s slipped up.” Shit, the guys were right; this gig is fucking with him.

  “Tell me what you need. I’ll get it to you,” I promise. He eyes me for a minute before nodding.

  “Going by police records, they suspect a guy named Gary Innis. I checked him out and word on the street he’s been bragging about supply and demand of young teenage girls. Seems he’s got a taste for collecting girls.” My stomach drops at the thought. Jesus, there is no way I can tell Bell this. “My connection says the local girl here got the top bid. They don’t work with names, but we got the town, age, and time of disappearance.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Yeah, not the news you were hoping for, but we got a lead, so now we work to take this fucker down.” I nod. He’s right. Assholes like that don’t deserve to be alive.

  “Get your cop brother to find what he can on a guy named Markus Bates.” He slides the file to me.

  Markus Bates. The man who could have Paige. Fuck.

  “I’ll contact you when I have more.” He stands and drops a few bills on the table. “You also sort out that other brother of yours. Fucker’s getting too personal.” He turns and walks out.

  He’s right. It seems Beau is getting too close, but knowing Beau, there’s no telling him. He needs to come out of this one on his own.

  * * *

  “What the fuck were you thinking, Beau?” Nix shouts as I walk back into the clubhouse thirty minutes later. A small woman with a messed-up face sits on the sofa with a baby on her lap.

  Jesus Christ, another kid?

  “You think I would leave her there?” Beau answers, more pissed than normal.

  “It’s the fucking Warriors, Jesus Christ.” Brooks shakes his head.

  “Please tell me she doesn’t belong to a Warrior?” I ask, taking a seat at the bar, trying to catch up with everything.

  Hunter nods at me and I know shit just got fucking serious. The Warriors have been a problem that the Rebels only got under control in the last year. I can understand why Nix is blowing his top. The last thing we need is them finding out the Rebels just took an old lady from one of their men.

  “Where the fuck did you pick her up?” I ask, still unsure exactly how the woman and her kid came to be in his possession.

  “I took her from the supermarket.” He says so calmly I can’t help the burst of laughter that escapes my mouth.

  “I’ve been watching the fucker. He’s been beating on her for the last few months. Even when she was pregnant. I know this shit can come back on us, so I’ve been waiting for the right time to take her. Today was that time.” I don’t even know how to respond to what he just admits, so I turn to Nix and let him deal.

  “Do you hear yourself? How fucked up this is. We don’t need more shit on our door.” Nix runs his hand through his hair.

  “You don’t think I fucking know what I’ve done? I fucking know, and I’d do it again. The fucker deserves a bullet. I knew that shit wouldn’t sit well for the club so I took the next measure. They don’t know we got her. We take her up to the safe house. We get a hold of Tiny and get her out of here,” Beau lays it out like he’s got it all figured out.

  “About Tiny,” I cut in. “He’s pissed you missed his meet.”

  “Fuck,” Beau curses, realizing his fuck up.

  “Jesus, Beau, where the fuck is your head at lately? We just got good with T and his men, and now you’re pissing off Tiny.”

  “It won’t come back on us. I’ll make it right with Tiny,” he assures Nix, but looking at him now, I can see he’s hanging on by a thread.

  “Get her up to the safehouse. I’ll get Kadence to get together supplies, and Jesse, you can follow up tomorrow,” Nix orders and I nod. “You get in touch with Tiny ASAP, and you get them out of Rushford.” Beau nods this time, agreeing with the plan. “Right, I’ve got shit to do, then I gotta get home to my wife. Anyone else got anything to put on me right now?” Nix looks around the room at us. Now wouldn’t be the best time to inform them about Tiny’s info so I keep my mouth shut. I’ll talk to Beau tomorrow.

  “Good, keep me posted,” he dismisses us when no one has anything to say.

  “Right, I gotta go to Liquid. I’ll be up first thing with supplies,” I tell Beau as he gathers the woman and her child.

  “Does she need a doctor?” I ask, watching her wince in pain. Her face is fucked up, a cut above her eye bleeding through the bandage.

  “I’ll put a call through to Doc when we get up there,” Beau answers.

  “I can get Bell to come over?” I offer, wondering if it’s the right move. Beau looks up, contemplating it. Before shaking his head.

  “Should get to the safe house,” he says and I agree. Even if Bell would be okay with helping out, she still hasn’t replied to my message.

  “Stay safe, you big fucker.” I call out as he walks her out to the van.
>
  “Always.” He nods, and while I know Beau might be fighting some fucked-up shit, I know he’s still got the club’s back.

  Even if it feels like he just fucked us over. He has our back.

  Fourteen

  BELL

  “You fucked him!” Lissy practically chokes down her drink while trying not to have a fit as we eat breakfast.

  “Yes.” I keep it matter of fact. I don’t want her to think it’s any more than what it really is.

  “Oh, my God. Jesus, Bell.”

  “It’s no big deal.” I squirm a little in my seat, the after effects of our ‘ride’ have only just stopped being felt. It’s been six days. Six days since I gave Jesse something I definitely should have not given, but I can’t even bring myself to care. I knew what I was getting into when I begged for it. I’m not that naïve. I just thought he would have checked in by now.

  “No big deal? You had a man’s penis in your vagina, and it’s no big deal?”

  “Will you keep your voice down.” I smack her arm, hoping no one can hear her.

  “I’m sorry. I’m still stuck on the news. He was being an ass, and then the next thing, you fucked him,” she says, but she doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get Jesse like I do.

  “Right, that’s it. I’m out of here.” I stand and pick up my bag.

  “Don’t go.” She takes my hand and pulls me back to the stool. “I’ll be quiet.”

  “You better, or the whole town will know I lost my V card.” I look around and notice we aren’t being watched. Much.

  “I just can’t believe you. Are you sore? How was it?” she fires off her questions one after another.

  “I was a little tender, but otherwise, I’m okay.”

  “Was it good?”

  “It was nice.” I struggle to find the right words. How do you explain your first time with a man like Jesse?

  “Nice?”

  “Yeah.” A sly smile crosses my face and I hold it in place. Nice is probably the worst word to use to describe sex for the first time.

  “You hated it,” she accuses and I have to hold in my need to argue with her. I didn’t hate it all, and that’s what makes it worse. I am dirty like Jesse said.

  “I didn’t hate it. It’s just not what I was expecting,”

  “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just different okay? Can we stop talking about it now? I won’t be seeing him again.”

  “Why the hell not?” Her voice rises again and I press my lips together, willing my frustration not to scream out of them.

  “Because it was a one-time deal.”

  “Says who?” She doesn’t curb the doubtful note in her voice. If anything, I bet she’s willing to accuse me of making the one-time rule.

  “Jesse. He’s not interested in anything more. I knew going in what he wanted. It just is what it is.”

  She places her fork down on her plate and turns in her seat to face me. “You gave up your virginity and he only wants a one-time deal?”

  I’m beginning to think this conversation is moot when she keeps repeating everything I say.

  “He didn’t know I was a virgin,” I whisper, needing her to know the truth before she passes judgment on him.

  “Jesus Christ, Bell. Have you not been listening to anything I’ve ever taught you?”

  “I know I fucked up, okay. I don’t need a lecture.” I reach out and take her hand, silently pleading for something. I don’t know what, but the last thing I need is her telling me how stupid I am. I already know it.

  “All right, I’m sorry. No lecture.” She nods agreeing. I let out a breath when she agrees. The last thing I need is a Lissy Lecture.

  “Thank you.” I release her hand, and pick up my drink.

  “Your delicate mood wouldn’t be able to take it anyway,” she slyly adds before we can move on.

  “I’m not being delicate.”

  “Oh, you are.”

  “Am not.” She’s right. She knows me too well.

  “You said yourself it was a one-time deal. So what’s really going on?” Her brows furrow in a way that I know she’s not giving up. I knew deflecting wasn’t going to get me anywhere. She’s too clued in for me.

  “It’s just that before he left, he said we would talk about what happened, and I haven’t heard from him.” I give in and let her know what really has me unsettled.

  “How long has it been?”

  “Six days.” The number seems insignificant. Almost laughable.

  “Oh, God, it’s true.” She gasps, her hand moving to the table in front of her.

  “What’s true?” I blindly walk into one of Lissy’s smartass comments.

  “Sex. It turns women into whining whores. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you whine before. Have sex. BAM. Poster child for whining.” I can’t help but laugh because she’s right. Jesus, I’m one of those women.

  “I hate when you’re right.”

  “I know. It must pain you every time I’m right.” She laughs and goes back to eating. My phone beeps in front of me, and I reach for it thinking it will be Mom checking in.

  JESSE: How are you feeling today?

  My stomach drops when I see his name and my body freezes.

  “Is it him?” Lissy asks, catching my reaction.

  “He’s asking how I am,” I relay the message, my eyes scanning each and every character.

  “Tell him you’re gonna need your V card back. You’ve turned into a whiney, gushy lame woman.”

  “Ha Ha.” I roll my eyes at her and look over the message again, trying to figure out how to respond. On one hand, I’m relieved he finally contacted me, yet on the other, I’m annoyed he’s managed to turn me into this desperate, needy person. “This isn’t me,” I finally say and put my phone down.

  “What are you doing?” Lissy asks as if I just grew a second head right before her eyes.

  “I’m letting him wait. I’m not going to rush to reply.”

  “Girl, you’re so messed up. You were just complaining he doesn’t contact you and now you’re playing hard to get?” I laugh, realizing how hot and cold I have been running, but who can blame me? He’s messing with me.

  “I’m not playing hard to get. I’m just not rushing to reply. He made me wait six days. He can wait a few hours.” I force the confidence into my statement and push out my reservations. I need to remember who I’m dealing with. I might be out of my league, but he is out of his comfort zone. We both are playing blind.

  “Well, you have more willpower than me. A man like Jesse messages me, asking how I feel after a one-time deal, I’d have that message typed up, ready to go.” She snaps her fingers and I roll my eyes.

  “Shut up. He can wait.” I ignore the last part of her advice. She was right the first time. It’s not who I am. And it’s not who I want to be.

  I need to remember that when dealing with Jesse Carter.

  * * *

  ME: I’m good. How are you?

  I type back later in the night when I climb into bed. I’m not expecting a reply tonight, so I’m surprised when I shut off my bedside lamp and my phone lights up my room.

  JESSE: Can’t stop thinking about you.

  His reply has me reading it a few times. Okay, not what I was expecting. I thought he would still be angry, especially when he hasn’t called all week.

  ME: What are you thinking about?

  I push in the characters, before deleting them, only to retype them and quickly press send.

  JESSE: You bent over my bike. Your tight pussy gripping my cock.

  The words sound in my ears as I picture him saying them to me in his deep voice. Holy shit.

  Me: It’s something that I can’t get out of my head either.

  I bravely type back. I wish I wouldn’t fall so easily into his traps, but I can’t help it when it comes to Jesse. The need to see where it takes me is too strong to ignore.

  JESSE: What are you doing now?

  ME: I’m in bed.<
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  JESSE: Touching yourself?

  The text messages continue to flow. My face heats up at his insinuation and I quickly type back.

  ME: No.

  JESSE: Do it.

  And at those two words, my hand moves on its own, slides down my stomach and into my panties. With my left hand, I slowly type out my reply.

  ME: Okay

  I click send as my finger finds its rhythm. After waiting for more than a minute for a reply, I wonder if he was just messing with me, until my phone starts ringing.

  “Hello?” I answer, my finger frozen on my clit.

  “You’re doing it?” His tone is a mixture of disbelief and pain. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed hearing his voice.

  “Yeah,” I breathe, as I start back up, letting the sensual act take over.

  “Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans and even with the distance between us, it has the same effect as if he were here touching me. “Are you wet?” If I wasn’t, I would be now with the way he asks.

  “Yes,” I moan, rubbing harder. Faster.

  “Jesus, what I wouldn’t do to taste you, Bell.” I hear movement in the background and my limbs become suspended with apprehension.

  “Where are you?” I question, hoping he doesn’t have me on speaker.

  “In my bed.”

  “What are you doing?” I relax, my hesitation chased away by his answer, and I let my finger start working again.

  “My hand is wrapped around my hard cock remembering how tight your pussy felt.”

  “Oh, God,” I whisper, loving the way he talks to me. “No one has ever spoken to me like this before,” I confess a truth I never expected.