Kill or Die

by Samantha Lee Howe

  ‘What’s going on?’ he asks

  ‘Beth Cane has been abducted,’ Ray says.

  ‘Beth?’ says Elliot growing pale. ‘How? When?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ says Ray. ‘I know it’s an unusual request, but I need you to go over this place and find anything you can. You’ve got a good eye and Michael can’t be here right now. Are you okay?’

  Ray studies Elliot as, trembling, the man pulls on his crime scene suit.

  ‘For the sake for transparency. We … we’re dating. I was with her last night. She left me about 10 p.m.,’ Elliot says.

  ‘Oh,’ says Ray. ‘That’s helpful. Knowing her movements before.’

  ‘She came home in a taxi,’ Elliot says. ‘My local firm. I ordered it for her.’

  ‘Are you sure you should be involved in this?’ Ray says.

  ‘Yes. I’ll do the best I can to find anything.’

  Leon approaches Ray when Elliot goes into the house. ‘Conflict of interest?’ he says.

  ‘Probably. But he’s the best forensic specialist I’ve ever worked with. If there’s anything to find, he’ll do it.’

  ‘I’ll have my report over to you by this afternoon,’ Elliot says some hours later. ‘But just to confirm, the perp entered by the back door after breaking the window. Looks like Beth had left the key in the lock and it made it easier for them. She probably heard it and woke. Went to look. At some point they jumped her and she was drugged. I found a discarded handkerchief with chloroform on it. And under the bed was an empty syringe. The handkerchief was careless and probably dropped as soon as Beth was out cold. My guess is they then injected her with something to make sure she stayed asleep.’

  ‘They were careless,’ Leon says. ‘Dropping two pieces of evidence.’

  ‘Whoever phoned me was telling the truth and they have her,’ Ray says. ‘They left the handkerchief and syringe to prove it to us.’

  ‘Who?’ Elliot asks. ‘Why have they taken her?’

  ‘Find out what was in that syringe,’ Ray says. ‘I’ll talk to my superiors and see if I can share more with you. Don’t worry, we’ll get her back.’

  Elliot nods. ‘Please keep me in the loop.’

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Beth

  Beth opens her eyes. She is confused, disorientated, and can’t remember anything. Her eyes dart around trying to make sense of where she is.

  She’s lying on a bed in what appears to be a hospital room. She tries to move and finds herself strapped down. Wrists and ankles are secured to the bed and a thick strap also wraps around her waist. She doesn’t know how she got here.

  A wave of nausea surges up into her throat. She squeezes her eyes shut, and swallows hard.

  ‘Help!’ she calls when the sickness subsides. But her voice cracks and breaks with the effort.

  She hears movement then: someone is outside the door, as though waiting for her to wake. The door opens and a man looks inside. He’s wearing a surgical mask and so she can’t see his face. He’s also in some kind of uniform. Scrubs? Doctor? No … a nurse.

  ‘It’s okay, Mrs Cane,’ he says. ‘We have you safe now.’

  ‘Where…?’ she croaks.

  He comes in and pours water into a cup from a jug on a cabinet beside the bed. He adds a straw and holds it to her lips. Beth sips the tepid water. It helps to settle her stomach and soothes her dry throat.

  Yes, she’s in a hospital. But where and why?

  ‘What happened?’ she says.

  ‘Don’t you remember?’ he asks.

  She shakes her head. There’s a vague recollection of being with Elliot, coming home … and then…

  ‘Oh my God. I was attacked in my home.’

  The nurse shakes his head. ‘That’s what the doctor said you’d say.’

  ‘Doctor? What doctor?’

  ‘You had an episode. A … breakdown. You were smashing up your house. Screaming. Saying someone had attacked you. Your neighbours called the police. I’m afraid you had to be sedated.’

  ‘No. That’s not what happened,’ Beth says. ‘Someone came up behind me. They…’

  ‘It’s all right. Don’t upset yourself,’ says the nurse.

  ‘Where am I?’

  ‘This is a very good hospital and we have the best doctors here,’ he says. ‘They’ll keep you for a few days’ observation and if you need help, they’ll give it.’

  ‘I … I need the bathroom,’ Beth says.

  ‘No problem. Just be calm.’

  The nurse unstraps her ankles and waist first, moving to her wrists last. Then he helps Beth to sit. She feels dizzy.

  ‘Urgh. I don’t feel well,’ she says.

  ‘It’s probably the sedative. They knocked you out pretty good. I believe you were hysterical.’

  Beth doesn’t argue, she is just relieved she has been unfastened. He helps her to her feet and walks her across the room.

  ‘Toilet is in here. Can you manage?’ he asks.

  Beth nods. She goes into a small bathroom. Toilet, sink and shower all ensuite. She closes the door, leaving the nurse outside.

  There’s no window in the bathroom but she’s observed that there are blinds in the main room that indicate a window.

  Beth pees, then she washes her hands and splashes water over her face. Her memory starts to return. She was at home. There was a noise. She went to listen at the top of the stairs and then … she was attacked. Drugged. She remembers the smell. Chloroform. She glances at the door. She’s certain that she’s been abducted. But by whom, and why?

  ‘Are you okay in there?’ says the nurse at the door.

  ‘Yes,’ she says. ‘I’m fine.’

  She checks herself over and sees the small bruise on her arm where a needle had bitten into her.

  Better play along, she thinks.

  She comes out of the bathroom. The nurse is standing by the door.

  ‘How do you feel?’ he asks.

  ‘A bit better now. Can I use a phone, please? I need to let my family know where I am,’ she says. ‘And my work. They’ll be worried if I don’t show up today.’

  She’s finding it disconcerting that he’s wearing the surgical mask.

  ‘I’ll speak to the doctor about that for you. But I believe your husband was told. He’d said he’d notify your employers.’

  ‘My husband? I’m split from … him.’

  ‘Really? Well, he’s listed as your next of kin. He signed for you to stay in,’ the nurse explains.

  ‘Callum did that? That doesn’t make sense. He’d know…’

  ‘Try and get some sleep. They’ll bring you some food around soon, if you’re hungry.’

  Beth sits back down on the bed.

  ‘You won’t strap me down again?’ she asks.

  ‘Not if you’re behaving okay. That’s just because you were so … violent … I believe,’ says the nurse.

  ‘Violent? Me?’

  ‘It’ll probably come back to you eventually. A lot of people block the moments before a psychotic break. The doctor will talk you through it all,’ the nurse says.

  ‘Okay. What’s your name?’

  ‘I’m Joe,’ he says.

  ‘Why are you wearing a mask?’ she asks.

  ‘Rest up now. Lunch will be round in an hour.’ Joe leaves and Beth gets off the bed and tries the door. She finds it locked.

  ‘Where the fuck am I?’ she whispers.

  Beth sits back down on the bed. She feels unsteady. Her mind can’t accept that Callum would have signed her into a place like this. But she can’t dismiss the idea. Why though? He’s got everything he wanted. Full custody of the boys and her paying towards their upkeep.

  Then she wonders: what if he found out about her and Elliot? Maybe he was angry and wanted to punish her. But no. Callum would just confront her. He wouldn’t be behind something like this. Would he?

  She thinks through possible scenarios and comes back to the same conclusion. She’s been taken. This is probably a fake hospit
al. They’d been trained for situations like this.

  But what if it isn’t fake?

  Then Callum might still be behind this. Beth shakes her head. She can’t see him as that devious. He just isn’t. What you see is always what you get with him. And, if he did arrange for someone to kidnap and place her in a mental ward, then there’ll be serious repercussions. He knows she works for MI5. Her bosses won’t stand for this. He’ll be prosecuted for false imprisonment at the least. He’ll lose everything.

  No. It isn’t Callum. Which means only one thing. Beth has been taken from her home by someone else. They have an agenda. She has something they want. But what?

  It has to be work-related. The only consolation is that MI5 must know by now that she’s missing. They’ll be looking for her.

  Until then, she will be the model patient.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Michael

  When I hear from Ray about Beth’s disappearance, I volunteer myself for the exchange.

  ‘We’re not doing it,’ Ray says. ‘But we may look as though we are.’

  ‘The quickest way to get Beth back is to do what they ask. I’m willing. I’ll get out of there again, first chance I get,’ I say.

  ‘But what if they don’t want to turn you back to their side, Mike? What if they want to kill you?’ Ray says.

  I don’t know what to say in reply but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’m gutted that Beth has been taken like this. She doesn’t deserve to suffer because of me.

  ‘No exchange. The truth is we don’t even know if Beth is still alive,’ Ray says.

  ‘Make them give you proof,’ I say.

  Ray hangs up and I’m left holding the phone in the Sergeant’s office.

  I’m in an RAF barracks in Digby. My sister Mia has been given accommodation with Ben and their daughter. I’ve been given a one-room apartment in one of the other housing blocks. Though Ray has said it’s for my own safety I’m worried that I am really in custody. Either way he’s ordered me to stay here. There’s nothing I can think of that’s worse than staying here and not helping to search for Beth.

  I go to see Mia in the little family apartment they’ve given her and Ben. When I knock, Ben answers the door. He looks dishevelled, and I notice the blanket and pillow on the sofa where he’s obviously slept all night.

  ‘Where’s Mia?’ I ask.

  ‘She’s feeding Freya in the bedroom,’ Ben says.

  ‘I’ll wait here until she’s done,’ I say.

  Ben knocks on the bedroom door and tells her I’m there. She comes out a short time later, the baby over her shoulder. Ben goes to her and tries to take Freya.

  ‘Don’t touch her,’ she says. ‘Hey, Michael. Do you want to finally hold your niece?’

  I flounder a bit, not knowing anything about babies. But Mia tells me to sit down, pointing to an armchair, and I do. Then she tells me how to hold Freya.

  I’m nervous: she’s such a fragile little thing. A little over four months old and so damn cute. Mia places her in my arms and I look down at Freya. I’d barely given her a glance the day before because I was so focused on making sure I protected her and Mia from Ben. I feel a tremendous ache in my heart: a love I’ve never experienced for anyone and a huge desire to protect this precious little girl. Under no circumstances do I ever want her to turn out like me or Neva.

  ‘You’re quiet,’ Mia says. ‘What do you think of her?’

  I look up at my sister and let her see the water that springs into my eyes.

  ‘I’m scared for her,’ I say.

  ‘Then imagine how I feel,’ Ben says.

  Mia and I look at him. Mia starts to cry then and there’s a torrent of emotion from all of us. She lets Ben embrace and comfort her and I hold onto Freya while they get this out of their system.

  I’m over my anger at him now. It washes away as I gaze into the innocent eyes of my beautiful little niece. If Ben is who he says he is, then Mia and Freya should be safe with him. But they’ll need to relocate as Ray had said. And starting a new life won’t be easy for either of them. It will also mean that I’ll never see Mia or Freya again. I think about that now, as I place a kiss on Freya’s head. She smells … gorgeous. I’d never understood the talk about baby smell before. But there’s something in it that makes me want to be her forever guardian. But that’s not my job and the truth is, being around me will be more dangerous for her than not. Better that she never knows me.

  I stand up, go to Ben and hand him his daughter.

  ‘Look after them,’ I say.

  ‘What are you going to do?’ Ben says.

  ‘What I have to. But you guys don’t need to be part of that,’ I say.

  Mia hugs me. ‘I’m scared,’ she says.

  ‘I know. But you’re safe here. Even the Network won’t take the Air Force on.’

  I kiss Mia and Freya one last time, then I turn and leave.

  I exit the family barracks and take a look around. The buildings are surrounded by tall wire fences. The barracks are separate from the main base and there is a barrier between the accommodation and the base. There’s also a barrier out of the accommodation into the regular village.

  I walk around the building and find the car park for the families living here. I’ll need a ride to get back to London and the sooner I return the better. I don’t know if I can just walk off the base, or if I’ll be stopped. I’m mulling over what to do when I see a young woman in the car park.

  ‘Hello? Can I help you?’ she says. She’s standing by a red Picasso. ‘You’re new here, aren’t you?’

  I look at her, not knowing what to say. So far no one has spoken to me, and even when I’ve walked around, they haven’t challenged my presence here.

  ‘I’m Michael,’ I say.

  ‘Hi. Elsa. My husband is a mechanic on the base. Just moved in?’ she says.

  I nod. ‘Trying to get my bearings. Would love a trip to the local village, but my car isn’t here yet.’

  ‘I’m just going into Lincoln to do some shopping. I can give you a lift,’ she says. She smiles at me, flirty. I guess it can be boring being an RAF mechanic’s wife. I smile back.

  ‘I’d really appreciate that,’ I say turning on the charm. ‘Are you sure that’s no trouble?’

  ‘Of course not!’ Elsa says.

  I marvel at how trusting she is. Would any woman really just invite a total stranger into her car? Perhaps it is because she believes me trustworthy if I’m on the base to begin with?

  Elsa unlocks her car using a key fob. I get into the car on the passenger side and then she drives to the barrier. The guard inside waves her through and we drive off the base without any difficulty.

  I frown. That was too easy. Did Ray really trust me enough to stay put that no instructions were left to detain me?

  Lincoln centre is about fifteen minutes from the base and Elsa drives us up to the top of Steep Hill and parks the car near Lincoln Castle. I offer to meet her later and buy her a coffee, and say I have an errand to run first. She smiles, saying ‘No worries.’

  And so I ditch her easily, and go off to find a way to get back to London.

  My Network and MI5 training are at odds with each other. I want to jack a car and drive back, but I realise that it will be quicker if I just get a train.

  At the post office I use the cash machine and draw out as much cash as possible from my bank account. Then I ask a random stranger how to find the train station. They give me directions which include walking down Steep Hill to the High Street below. I walk down as fast as I can and find a phone shop. After buying a new mobile phone for cash. I leave the high street and walk to the train station.

  At Lincoln station I learn that I can get a train to Grantham and from there it is just an hour and fifteen minutes to King’s Cross. I get the next train, but when I arrive at Grantham, I’ve just missed the London train and have to wait a further half an hour.

  I’ve memorised Neva’s mobile number and so I call her from the
platform.

  ‘I thought you’d reach out,’ she says. ‘Where are you?’

  ‘Lincolnshire. Did you go to Amsterdam?’ I ask.

  ‘Not without you,’ she says.

  I tell her about Beth’s abduction. ‘That’s bad, Michael,’ she says. ‘And worrying that they want you so badly they’d take such a risk.’

  ‘How do I find her?’ I ask.

  ‘They’ll be hiding her in plain sight,’ she says. ‘Especially if they are planning an exchange. You’re not going to give yourself over to them, are you?’

  ‘You mentioned someone in the Network. He was rounding up the strays – Vasquez?’ I say. ‘Is he behind this?’

  Neva sighs. ‘I followed a lead to get to Vasquez before he got to me,’ she said. ‘Just yesterday I heard that he’s missing. I think the Network retired him. He was last seen in France.’

  ‘What was in France?’ I ask.

  ‘I’m still trying to find out,’ Neva says. ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m heading back to London. I’ll be at Archive’s office by this afternoon. I have to make them use me to help Beth.’

  ‘Don’t go there, the Network will be watching. If they grab you, they’ll have no reason to return your colleague,’ she says. ‘She’ll be dead within the hour.’

  I agree to meet her at a hotel near King’s Cross, and then I hang up. She sounds happy once we decide that I’m coming to her first. I try not to read into it but it’s also good for me to know I have somewhere to go when I arrive in London.

  The train is delayed by ten minutes but when it arrives it’s fairly empty. I find a seat near the doors facing the direction of travel and ensuring no one is behind me. Before it moves off, I glance out of the window and see Elsa on the platform. She gets on board.

  So … her helping me leave the airbase wasn’t a happy accident…

  I realise that Elsa’s been told to tail me and not detain me. I thought the timing of meeting her and getting a lift was just too convenient. Perhaps Ray knows I’m heading straight back and may well be meeting Neva. He’s set me up – though I’m not sure I blame him. I don’t think I’d have trusted him to stay put either if the situation was reversed.