Green Planet

by Anthony E. Southby

  ‘Never mind, lads, as trees you have great potential, think of it; you will both have the responsibility of being branch managers. As…’

  Frank and Philip gazed at the parrot plant in the corner, while Lily Madonna droned on in the background, amusing herself with her own cheesy wit.

  ‘Is that a person?’ Frank whispered to Philip, looking puzzled. ‘I had no idea that that could possibly be anything more than an annoying parrot pot plant. I hope I didn’t hurt him too badly.’

  ‘I guess the plant could be a person, seeing that we are also supposed to be,’ Philip replied, attempting to scratch his itching bark butt with his twiggy fingers. ‘"No matter how beautiful and trusting they may seem, never trust any of them.” Those were Chimzen’s very words, Frank, and just look where trusting these Floranion beings has got us now.’

  ‘We always did have our suspicions though. I should have stuck with my gut feeling from the start; now look at the trouble we are in.’

  ‘Don’t blame yourself, Frank. You have to admit the deception was brilliant.’

  ‘Indeed it was; especially the fake Chimzen appearance. That has to be the cherry on the cake.’

  The boys had the most unpleasant time with the flower fairies, with their cunning wickedness out in full bloom. The fairies teased and mocked them, plucking leaves from their sensitive branches, and cackling like demons while Frank tried to stand on his uneven roots, and promptly fell over like a disabled child. He couldn’t bear to be in their presence a moment longer and attempted a dash for freedom. Unfortunately he underestimated the restricted abilities possessed by a weighty tree and plummeted down trunk over roots.

  ‘Yo timber!’ Azor bellowed, shoving him down like a newly axed tree. Frank launched forward, trying his best to break his fall with his branchy arms. His twig-like fingertips snapped off like toothpicks, leaving him sprawled out over the ground writhing in pain. The wicked fairies cackled away until their sides nearly split, watching Frank struggle his way into an upright seated position.

  ‘Don’t worry, my boy, your fingers will grow back soon,’ Madonna chuckled.

  ‘Yeah, a bit of pruning never did a good tree any harm.’ Azor added her ten cents’ worth.

  The fairies eventually tired of their little game of torture, and returned to their little chairs to resume a game of Snap Dragon.

  The boys sat in despair with their leafy heads hung heavily forward. Frank clutched at the remains of his throbbing branchy fingers, hoping to awaken soon from the terrible nightmare.

  ‘I wonder where Chimzen has got to?’ Philip asked, sounding quite desperate. ‘He is our only hope.’

  Frank gazed dismally at the crumpled bed of flower petals without uttering a single word.

  Chapter 21

  ‘I feel so dizzy and nauseous,’ Chimzen complained, forcing himself onto his hands and knees. The trio disengaged their protective shield, to prevent their master from being harmed by their deadly lasers. His hair was a mangled mess, like he had just woken from a night’s disrupted sleep, and his entire body was covered with throbbing swollen sores and slash marks. His ivy green robe was filthy and crumpled, and his skin complexion almost matched its colour. The poor man looked rather green from the marijuana intoxication earlier that morning, unjustly reaping the same consequences as an overindulgent pot smoker. He felt horribly ill, and his entire body burned from the nasty sores. He had a vague recollection of the violent lily-whip attack, but absolutely no idea why his rear-end ached the way it did, and he felt far too embarrassed to give it any mention.

  Soon his pale green complexion returned to normal, the dizziness left, and his cheeks were restored to their usual rosy colour. The inflicted wounds were hurting terribly, especially the nasty stings, but he would have to ignore the pain for the time being as there were far more urgent matters to attend to. He placed his quivering hand into his pocket and pulled out a couple of semi squashed blue plums, and eagerly guzzled them down to satisfy the unusually ravenous hunger he felt.

  ‘Are you okay master?’ Zip asked, displaying her usual lady ball concern. Chimzen had been very quiet since he had woken, slowly restoring his senses while he watched the late afternoon sun sink below the horizon.

  ‘Of course, I’m fine. Thank you for saving my life, Malcos,’ he replied softly in an unusually gruff voice, and tried his best to force a smile. ‘We must move on; I can’t believe the time already.’

  ‘Yes master!’ the trio answered in chorus.

  ‘Hoverboard formation trio!’ he commanded.

  ‘Are you okay to fly, master?’ Zip asked, a bit reluctant to respond.

  ‘Shut up Zip!’ Zen snapped. ‘Just do as you are told!’

  ‘Not to worry Zip, I’ll be just fine,’ Chimzen reassured the quivering ball, stroking her shiny head.

  The Malco board was ordered in the direction from where the attack had come, and took off more cautiously than usual. Whether this was because they were unsure of Chimzen’s mental status, or whether they were afraid of another vicious onslaught, I am not entirely sure.

  Besides having to deal with many aches and pains, Chimzen was beginning to feel very frustrated. They had been searching for quite some time already, and there was absolutely no sign of any flower fairies or schoolboys for miles. It was starting to get quite dark by now, and visibility was very poor, even with all three Malco balls shining brightly.

  ‘Blast it, where can they be?’ he muttered, straining his eyes to make light of anything. ‘This is like looking for a damned needle in a haystack; the thought of having to stay on this god-forsaken planet another night makes my blood curdle.’ The little fern fairy dwelling blended so perfectly with its surroundings, it was like trying to find a guerrilla soldier warring in the jungle, fitted with full camo gear.

  ‘My goodness trio, I think that’s them!’ he exclaimed, pointing out a few colourful outlines below, scuttling across the shadowy valley. ‘Blast it! I’ve been mistaken; it’s only a group of trees and shrubs returning to the forest after yesterday’s blast. I have a good mind to destroy this entire infernal planet, with nothing left to go back home.’

  ‘Look master!’ Zen exclaimed, guiding the other Malco balls down towards the ground. ‘It’s a black and yellow school tie, master.’

  ‘Right you are Zen!’ Chimzen cried in delight, ‘one of the boys must have dropped it there as a sign of their whereabouts, hoping we would find it. Just as well they have such bright school colours, isn’t it?’

  Squinting anxiously in all directions, he stepped off the Malco platform. The trio immediately disengaged, following closely behind.

  ‘Master, did you hear that?’ Zip squeaked.

  ‘Yes indeed Zip; it sounds like hysterical laughter. The hysterical laughter of a wicked flower fairy, that is.’

  Chapter 22

  ‘I tink it’s starting ta get a bit durk, don’t ya tink mun?’ Paulina said, slapping her cards down in defeat. ‘It’s bad enuf ya be cheating in tha daylight Azor; in tha durkness we gut no chunce mun.’

  ‘Lights!’ Azor commanded, snapping her dainty fingers together; preceded by a fit of hysterical cackling. Instantly the little abode lit up like a witch’s séance, with several independent flames sparking into existence, scattered about the room, fuelled on nothing but fresh air.

  Frank and Philip sat shivering in fear, their little hearts pumping thick sap through their barky trunks in terror. Their near death experience with fire the night before was enough to put the fear of hell into anyone. Being a tree only exacerbated their feelings towards the deadly flame. Back home, they would most probably be used as firewood, or even worse: paper, pulped and sliced into the finest writing material, used to make exercise books, textbooks or art pads.

  Philip forced all these scary thoughts from his mind, and imagined he was at home watching television, and eating chocolate with his family, something he would only ever possess as a fading memory now.

  ‘You look a bit hot under the collar, Fr
ank,’ Azor rapped, gazing at the fuming tree boy with a cynical smirk on her face. ‘I can make you really boil, if that’s what you want?’

  ‘Go to blazes!’ Frank retaliated angrily, without giving the consequence to his outburst a second thought.

  ‘Go to blazes hey? I’ll show you: go-to-blazes, tree twerp!’

  ‘Little flame flickering from black magic light!

  Torment the scowling tree, wicked schoolboy ignite!’

  With those words, Azor raised one of her dainty fingers, and directed one of the little floating flames towards Frank. One of the light givers sprang into action, and danced towards him eagerly from across the room, with its fiery head flickering wildly in delight. The boys stared at her with eyes out on twigs, rooted to the ground in silence, completely panic-stricken by the approaching flame. The flower fairies were literally rolling on their backs with laughter as they watched Frank back away in horror. The little flame perched itself neatly under Frank’s left branch pit, bobbing against him as he jolted back and forth in fright. Fortunately for Frank, his bark was thick, and he could take a fair amount of heat before he felt any pain.

  ‘Help Philip! Help!’ Frank screamed. Philip raised his left branch and started slapping at Frank wildly in an attempt to extinguish the sneaky little flame. Leaves scattered in all directions, but to no avail, as he was only fanning the cheeky flame, and making it burn all the more fiercely.

  * * * * * * * *

  ‘Enough!’ A voice bellowed from the entrance. Chimzen stepped out from behind the large boulder at the entrance, his face alive with furious rage.

  ‘Chimzen!’ Everyone including the fairies exclaimed in surprise. The boys gazed at him, filled with immense relief. Frank never even noticed the smoke rising from his trunk while the flame continued to burrow into him like a blow torch.

  ‘So you think you are a bright spark, Azor?’ he asked the evil fairy with blunt sarcasm, his gaze fixed to her like daggers. ‘Go, Malco trio!’

  Zip spun towards Frank like a bullet, and absorbed the menacing flame inside her shiny little body like a robin slurping a worm. She glowed very brightly for a moment, extinguishing the potent magic flame; then returned to her usual silvery self. With a powerful blast, the brilliant Malco lady extinguished the tiny fire erupting on Frank’s trunk before it caused him any pain. Zip joined the others in a triangular position, surrounding the three stunned flower fairies. Unfortunately they were too fast for this, and hastily flew off to the Wizard’s side, instantly transforming into four identical Chimzens.

  ‘Shield on, Malcos!’ he bellowed, ‘they will not get away this time!’

  The trio immediately surrounded the four identical Chimzens, who were now standing closer to the entrance, and projected light upwards to create a large laser pyramid jail. This was where the flower fairies had made a mistake with their deception; the real Chimzen was covered in sting sores and slash marks, and they were all perfect replicas of a Chimzen with perfect skin. The trio immediately identified the four fake wizards and rapidly spread the laser shield across their path, dividing the pyramid prison into two separate halves. The shield on Chimzen’s side was dropped, allowing him to slip out at the side. The side shield was restored again and the centre one was dropped, allowing the four raging fakes more space to move around.

  The Chimzen imitators changed back to themselves, cursing the real wizard for what he had done to them. Azor rattled off several dark spells in vain to free herself from the magical laser prison, while Chimzen, not in the slightest bit worried, watched in silence. His power was far superior to theirs; they knew it, and they loathed him for it.

  Azor may have had certain insights which Chimzen never had, but that was only because he chose not to. He would have absolutely nothing to do with the dark side.

  ‘According to my insight, you are supposed to be dead, Chimzen-The-Damn-Great,’ Azor sniggered.

  ‘Well, I guess your insight wasn’t very accurate then, was it Azor?’

  ‘My insight is always accurate, damn you!’

  ‘I think you are the one that’s damned, my darling.’

  ‘What was your protection? How did you block me, you rat?’

  ‘The same way I’m doing it now, Azor; look around you,’ he spoke solemnly. ‘Only this time, you are on the inside.’ The trio held their position firmly, unable to contain their squeaky giggles.

  ‘Those wretched balls!’ Azor barked.

  ‘Well, at least I’m the one with the balls around here,’ the wizard chirped, rolling his head back and laughing loudly.

  ‘Chimzen, it’s so good to see you, we thought you had disappeared!’ Philip cried.

  ‘I can’t tell you how glad I am to see the pair of you,’ he answered, blasting a big sigh of relief. ‘It’s not going to be that easy to get rid of me, my boy.’

  ‘Your face looks terrible with all those nasty sores; what happened to you?’

  ‘Yes it does indeed!’ Frank gasped.

  ‘That’s a long story; I’ll tell you about it some time.’

  ‘First we were monkeys, now we are trees,’ Frank said, sounding rather despondent. ‘We would have been better off not even coming here in the first place.’

  ‘Not to worry, my boy, everything is going to be just fine. I’m really sorry that you both had to go through all of this.’ Frank smiled at the wizard, comforted by his words of genuine concern, and feeling very relieved to see him again.

  The three flower fairies remained seated, gazing at Chimzen through the transparent green laser shield, almost smoking with hate. They had a very good idea what was in store for them and they didn’t like it one little bit.

  * * * * * * * *

  The small group sat for a while discussing the previous day’s journey, and the hell of the events they had all been exposed to, with many near death experiences.

  ‘She calls the pot plant Patroux!’ Chimzen exclaimed, after hearing Frank’s little grapple story outrage. ‘That’s impossible! Patroux is the very reason these flower fairies exist.’ The group turned to watch the parrot plant sitting on the ledge with its colourful beak hung over in silence, no longer under the control of Azor’s cursed power.

  ‘Patroux was always a great lover of plants, trees and generally all things green,’ Chimzen began, stroking the parrot plant on his sagging beak. ‘He decided to make a journey to this forsaken planet, about twenty years back or so, to gain control over the darkness it possessed, and rule over it in truth like a flower king.’

  ‘W-what are you saying?’ Frank stammered in disbelief. ‘Do you mean that I walloped a poor wizard like yourself out of his pot?’

  ‘Not a wizard, Frank, a Druid, and a very brilliant one at that,’ Chimzen corrected, not sounding too concerned. ‘It wasn’t your fault, Frank. I mean, how were you to know? Much to his dismay, Azor had put a spell on him to make him babble on like a parrot and sing dreadful rhymes about the destruction of earth. The planet dominated by mankind despised the creatures inhabiting Floran.’

  ‘Oh,’ Frank answered, flushed with embarrassment.

  ‘Many years ago Patroux confronted me with his grand idea, having travelled on many occasions with me to various different planets. He had no method of magical interplanetary transport and insisted on returning to Floran with me, time and time again. I had warned him several times of the dangers of this treacherous place, but he had insisted pointblank on returning. Hence the creation of the flower fairies. After many a close shave, I vowed never to return to this place.’

  ‘However Patroux had good intentions, so after much convincing I agreed to come back here one last time. That was a big mistake. Patroux had collected a few petals of Gallica French Rose, African Violet Paulina, Madonna Trumpet Lily, and the Greek Jasmine Azor. He combined these petals with a fairy spell which had taken many years to perfect – a fairy recipe bought in secrecy from a white witch in New Hampshire. The mute flower fairies were then given a character spell derived from the earth country which ea
ch flower represented, which explains their strange accents. There was a good chance that the experiment may have been a success, if it wasn’t for the Greek Jasmine.’ Chimzen stood staring into space, lost in dark memories.

  ‘And then?’ Philip asked anxiously.

  The wizard snapped from his daze and proceeded hesitantly, ‘Then…Then. We had many nasty experiences with the Jasmine creeper. One day visiting Floran, while Patroux was about his antics, I was lured in by an overwhelmingly pleasant Jasmine smell, and couldn’t resist the urge to go a bit closer. Quite suddenly the sweet-smelling jasmine vines wrapped around me, and almost suffocated me to death like a constricting viper, tightly coiled around my neck. Fortunately Patroux saved my life, chanting a spell in my defence. Much against my better judgement, he insisted on using the Jasmine as the fourth fairy, insisting she would make a good leader.

  ‘The flower fairies were amazing, and Patroux was overwhelmed by their intelligence and breathtaking beauty. He asked me to leave him here, as he felt confident that his brilliant scheme was a success. Now he would have actual flower beings to assist him with his rule over Floran. Rather reluctantly I left him here and returned home alone.

  ‘As I suspected, the fairies manipulated Patroux’s kind nature, robbing him of all his powerful secrets and his herbal magic abilities. With all his good intentions and character changing spells, the flower fairies remained evil at heart, interbred with perverse Floran corruption. Any bit of kindness left within the others, was soon manipulated into pure wickedness by Azor the terrible. The fairies were able to transform themselves into anything, having all Patroux’s power at hand. He was manipulated by Azor, who cleverly turned him into a tree, using one of his very own spells to do the dirty. The very same spell was used to transform the two of you.