Green Planet

by Anthony E. Southby

  ‘Choclut drink it is then, mun!’ Paulina cackled in delight.

  ‘Don’t be so over confident my dear!’ Madonna snapped, gazing at Paulina condescendingly with her wide light blue eyes. ‘Who says they do like chocolate drink?’

  ‘Don’t be sully mun, kids love all tings dat be sweet, I’m telling ya mun,’ Paulina replied confidently.

  ‘Chocolate it is then,’ Azor said firmly, placing a large wooden bowl on the ground in front of them. ‘Who cares what flavour it is anyway, as long as they drink it? We’re wasting time standing here talking nonsense.’

  ‘Are you ready, ladies?’

  ‘Ready Azor!’

  The flower fairies were in the process of performing an evil spell, a special one for the boys; the most evil of all. They each plucked a petal from one of their precious head arrangements and placed it carefully into the wooden bowl. Then they all stepped back while Azor chanted her nasty magic:

  ‘Wooden bowl we command you fill,

  Sweet chocolate juice that brings a thrill,

  Blending now with the bitter petal,

  The blood of man to sap will settle,

  Transformation of the human being,

  To the walking tree on Floran seen,

  May this curse forever hold,

  Leaves, bark and roots their lives unfold.’

  With these words the petals at the base of the wooden vessel began to sizzle and dissolved into a sticky mass of sap, releasing a sweet brown chocolate liquid, which slowly filled the bowl to the brim. The flower fairies gazed over the bowl of chocolate juice, giggling amongst themselves like naughty schoolgirls. Azor reached for the magic chocolate mix and raised it carefully, muttering a few strange sentences over the brown liquid. The chocolate juice transformed instantly into a solid block of ice for easy transportation, allowing her to fly it home with ease.

  * * * * * * * *

  ‘Look zat those zdarlings,’ Gallica cooed, gazing over the sleeping boys and gently stroking Frank on his soft spiky hair.

  ‘I hope they have sweet dreams at least, because they will be their last,’ Azor sniggered, placing the frozen brew on the wooden ledge.

  ‘Look what they’ve done to dear Patroux!’ Lily Madonna yelled, removing the dripping grapple wedged between his floral beak, and stroking him with a genuine concern. The parrot plant shook its beak and leaves wildly, almost tipping itself and the little pot over, with drops of grapple juice spraying in all directions. The poor plant silently flexed its beak open and closed to soothe the ache, and hastily slurped down the remaining grapple pulp and sweet juice that remained.

  ‘Patroux needed to learn a little lesson for bad behaviour, Madonna,’ Azor said, forcing her hand over Madonna’s mouth to prevent any more loud protests. She pulled Azor’s hand away in outrage.

  ‘All he has done for us; and this is the thanks he gets!’

  ‘He was making a scene, Madonna, what other choice did we have?’

  ‘He only ever had good intentions Azor!’

  ‘Good, that’s exactly the problem; there is no place for good on this planet. Unless you also choose to bend that way, we can take GOOD care of you too, and you can also sit in a pot for the rest of your life, if that is what you truly wish for?’

  Lily Madonna turned her back on Azor’s cutthroat hatred, sadly knowing that there was no place for any kind-heartedness on planet Floran, unless you were willing to pay the price for it.

  Paulina, Gallica and Madonna always had a deeply buried touch of goodness within themselves, something they had received from the truth of their creation; something they could never quite relate to. Azor on the other hand was rotten through and through.

  The two boys remained completely undisturbed through all the noise, and the flower fairies watched patiently, waiting for them to wake.

  The fairies sat at the little wooden ledge playing a game of floral Snap, seated in pairs,, with the winner of each pair challenging the other. The cards were very similar to those on earth with smaller insignificant flowers ranging from cosmos weed to daffodils, each symbolizing a number from one through to ten. Much to Gallica’s delight, the old English rose represented the queen, with its magnificent beauty and thorn stabbing authority. The king was represented by the great old oak, with majestic authority and age old wisdom. The ace card had an ordinary little picture of a tiny mustard seed printed on it, the card representing one, yet usually possessing the greatest value in a game of cards – just like that insignificant little mustard seed which develops into one of the largest of all trees.

  ‘Snap Dragon!’ Azor bellowed, slapping her card down in spiteful victory. Then she grabbed the flowery pile of winnings, and shoved them into her lap with all the other cards.

  ‘Ag cum on mun!’ Paulina protested, reaching over to snatch her cards back. ‘Ya be cheating again, dere’s no ways dat ya cud be huving da musturd seed af spades mun.’

  ‘I beat you fair and square, you blooming idiot,’ Azor snapped indignantly.

  The game had been going on for several frustrating hours, with Azor taking a win at every hand. Her deception was quite brilliant, magically producing the perfect card at exactly the right moment. The other fairies were slowly getting a bit hot under the petals with her scheming ways, finding her dark magic completely inappropriate during a simple game of cards. The wicked fairy just couldn’t handle losing, and her deceptive card tricks were making her look more like a foolish loser than a heroic winner.

  ‘Zyou win Zagain, Azor,’ Gallica rapped, slapping her cards down in the most unladylike manner.

  ‘What do you mean, Gallica? We haven’t even started yet.’

  Gallica sat on her cute little fairy chair with her arms tightly folded and her bottom lip pulled down, scowling at Azor like the schoolgirl that didn’t get her way.

  ‘Gallica also has a gift, my dear,’ Madonna chirped, chuckling in the background. ‘You are a magician with those cards, Azor, and she is a fortune teller: Gallica knows her future in this game, the fact that she is going to lose once again, how absolutely priceless!’

  Azor continued playing Snap Dragon like a gambling thief, as if piles of green bills were spread out over the table for the taking. Lily Madonna didn’t find it quite so amusing when it was her turn to challenge the cheating “Snap Dragon” master, though.

  ‘Znot so funny anyzmore, Madonna. Oui?’

  ‘Oh do keep your flowery beak shut, Gallica,’ Madonna snapped in disgust.

  Frank finally woke from all the commotion, and looked up to see what all the fuss was about.

  ‘Wake up, Philip,’ he muttered, pushing his friend on the shoulder.

  ‘Huh-what?’ Philip gasped, sitting upright with a startled jerk. ‘I just had the most terrible dream, Frank; we were being burnt by those terrible Indian plants.’

  ‘Calm down Philip, there’s no fire here, at least not that kind anyway.’

  The fairies immediately stopped complaining, laid down their flowery hands, and gazed upon the awakened boys in surprise.

  ‘How did you sleep, lads?’ Azor asked, with a sweetish smile pasted to her cold face.

  ‘Okay,’ Philip mumbled, looking a bit startled by all the sudden attention. Frank turned his head and stared into the corner to see what had become of the poor parrot plant. His olive skinned cheeks glowed red as he turned to face the fairies.

  ‘What did you do to my precious Patroux?’ Madonna asked Frank in a condescending tone. She fluttered her sleek transparent wings, and landed at his side in a flash.

  ‘Well um, well,’ Frank stammered, wishing he could disappear into his shell like a tortoise.

  ‘Well what, my boy?’

  ‘It was making such a terrible noise, and we couldn’t sleep,’ Frank bleated, wishing he could escape those cold piercing eyes. ‘And the more we told it to keep quiet, the louder it sang.’

  ‘How would you like it if I shoved a grapple in your mouth, my boy?’ Madonna snapped, edging towards him with a look of i
ntense disapproval. Frank started to apologize for knocking the parrot plant out of its pot. Philip immediately placed his hand over Frank’s mouth, cutting him short in mid sentence, and yanked him back sharply onto his lap.

  ‘I put it back in the pot, don’t mention it to her Frank,’ Philip whispered hurriedly into his ear.

  ‘What was that all about then?’ Madonna demanded, starting to feel a bit paranoid over their strange behaviour. ‘You knocked Patroux out of his pot?’

  ‘N-No s-sorry I didn’t, I must have dreamt it,’ Frank stuttered, feeling tightly trapped between what had already been said, and what he had to say.

  ‘Never mind, Frank,’ Azor interrupted, placing the bowl of chocolate sludge between the boys. ‘Madonna can get a bit over emotional about her silly plant. He’s in the corner over there, safe and sound, no harm done.’

  ‘No harm done? I’ll force feed you with a grapple, Azor, then you can say no harm done,’ she snapped. Azor glared back at her with eyes that could make hell freeze over. The lily fairy knew very well that she was no contest for Azor, so she promptly turned around and flew off to comfort her precious plant in the corner.

  Frank breathed a quiet sigh of relief, probably for the first time ever grateful to Azor for her abrupt interruptions.

  ‘Right, now that all that squabbling is over with, let’s proceed with our little surprise,’ Azor announced, bubbling over with distasteful satisfaction as she held the icy chocolate mixture up to the boys. ‘I’m sure the two of you must be feeling quite parched after the rough ordeal you have both been through over the last day or so? My sister fairies say it is a schoolboy’s delight, look, it’s chocolate.’

  Azor swayed the large bowl of icy mixture under Frank’s nose, and reached forward in an effort to hand it to him. Philip noticed Frank’s hesitation, and shuffled to the front. He hastily grabbed the bowl and placed it to his lips, eager to gulp down the delightful mixture. Azor watched Philip in anticipation, grinning from ear to ear.

  ‘Philip, stop!’ Frank yelled, shoving the bowl away from his mouth, and spilling large quantities of icy chocolate drink over his trousers. Philip lowered the bowl carefully to the ground, to prevent any further spillage. Azor was absolutely fuming with rage.

  ‘What sort of thanks is this, you ungrateful schoolboy?’ she demanded, shaking her fairy fists in protest.

  ‘Yeah, what’s your problem, Frank?’ Philip asked, his face all scrunched up in confusion. Azor knew the boys were wising up to her schemes, and rather surprisingly, she turned around and flew straight out through the entrance in a state of rage. The other fairies followed after her, with their tiny arms folded, and their faces pouted upwards with expressions of absolute disgust.

  ‘What did you do that for Frank? Now you’ve insulted them.’

  ‘Because I’m damned sure that they are trying to poison us!’ Frank barked, quite taken aback by all the upheaval he had caused.

  ‘Are we dead yet from all the fruit we have eaten Frank?’

  ‘No, but that was different.’

  ‘In what way was it different Frank? Or was it just different because we were starving, and now we don’t need fairy charity anymore?’

  ‘Shut up Philip, before I…’

  ‘Before you WHAT Frank? Before you box me? The answer to all your problems; that’s why we are here in the first place, remember!’

  Frank was suddenly very quiet, unsure of how to deal with his mixed feelings. Philip lay on his back, with his shoe perched up on one knee, twitching it anxiously.

  ‘You’re right Birch, this is my fault. I’m really sorry for getting you tied up in this mess.’

  * * * * * * * *

  Patroux had been sitting very quietly in the corner, still recovering from the grapple episode, when suddenly he began chirping again, ‘Chimzen! Chimzen!’

  The boys looked up in surprise, and much to their amazement, there stood the wizard himself, smiling at them in delight.

  ‘Chimzen!’ they both cried out in chorus. ‘How did you find us?’

  ‘Hello boys! Good to see you again!’ The wizard chuckled, walking closer. ‘I knew the flower fairies would take good care of you while I was away.’

  ‘Y-You mean, t-they really are your friends?’ Frank asked, stammering in embarrassment.

  ‘Of course they are, boys, we go way back. I’m really sorry I had to leave you here; there were a few rather unfortunate things I had to take care of back home.’

  ‘What happened?’ Philip enquired out of curiosity.

  ‘W-Well, never you mind, just wizard business as usual you know,’ he replied, surprisingly rather unsure of himself.

  ‘Where are the Malcos Chimzen?’ Frank asked.

  ‘The Malcos?’ he answered, looking a bit lost for words.

  ‘Yes, the three little silver balls that travel with you,’ Philip answered, looking a bit puzzled by his slow response.

  ‘Oh-oh of course the Malcos; they are outside,’ he replied, looking a bit pale, almost sickly green. ‘Excuse me, it seems I am starting to develop a bad memory in my old age. So tell me boys, how well have the flower fairies been taking care of you?’

  ‘Very well, Chimzen,’ Philip hastily replied, not wanting to upset him with any unnecessary scepticism. ‘The fruit they have given us to eat has been amazing.’

  ‘Where are they now, lad?’

  ‘Er, well, gone for a walk,’ Frank stammered in reply.

  ‘Aren’t they absolutely beautiful, don’t you think?’ Chimzen asked, looking a bit over anxious for a reply.

  ‘Amazing!’ they both announced in song.

  ‘What’s that in the bowl, boys? No, wait, don’t tell me, that’s the flower fairy specialty: chocolate juice!’ he exclaimed, kissing his fingertips like a French chef. ‘That has to be the most amazing drink in the world.’

  ‘Frank is a bit paranoid; he seems to think it’s poisoned or something,’ Philip said, shaking his head and grinning.

  ‘Nonsense Philip!’ Frank snapped, hastily grabbing the bowl and gulping down the magic juice. ‘Wow, this is absolutely amazing! Tastes almost like a mango flavoured chocolate milkshake. I know that doesn’t sound good, but it tastes absolutely amazing. Here, Philip, try some.’

  ‘You’re right, Frank, it’s absolutely magic!’ Philip exclaimed, after taking a gigantic gulp.

  ‘I told you!’ Chimzen yelled, clutching his hands tightly with sparkling deceptive eyes.

  ‘Here, you have some,’ Philip said, handing the bowl eagerly across to him.

  ‘Oh, no thank you!’ he exclaimed, taking a fearful step back. ‘I’ve just had a big lunch; if I have anything more I will pop.’

  The concoction of magical poison flowed into their stomachs, and was absorbed rapidly into their bloodstreams to perform a miraculous transformation of permanent floral disaster. Philip reached towards Frank to brush a leaf off his neck, but much to his horror it remained intact like a permanent fixture. Frank yelled in pain when Philip plucked the flourishing leaf, only to find several more sprouting wildly from where it came. Frank turned to face Philip, and noticed his ginger thatch of hair was rapidly being replaced by bunches of autumn red and yellow leaves. At the same time it appeared as though the blood was being drained from his face, leaving him with a light grained, bark finish. Frank gazed down at his hands, which appeared to be growing in length, and shrinking in size, with his soft schoolboy hands transformed instantly into those of a wrinkly old man’s, with a dark brown deeply grained finish.

  Fresh newly grown leaves sprouted from the ends of his sleeves and from in between his buttons in wild multicoloured bunches. It seemed as though each hair follicle was being replaced by a leaf, with Frank, especially, experiencing great discomfort in the nether regions while large bunches of leaves exploded from his trousers. Then his trousers suddenly disappeared, much to the poor boy’s embarrassment.

  Philip’s school shoes suddenly went “pop”, disappearing into thin air while his feet began to shri
nk and elongate into a hairy clump of hideous fibrous knotted roots. The boys squirmed in pain and horror as their blood turned to sap, draining their very human existence to make them permanent garden shade beings. They gazed upon their new bark appearances in absolute disbelief; they had transformed into flourishing living trees.

  Chimzen stood before them, cackling with evil laughter, behaving nothing like the wizard they had grown to love. Then quite suddenly he vanished in a blast of black smoke and reappeared as Azor herself. She was still cackling at them, taking great pleasure in the absolute brilliance of her ugly deception.

  ‘You foolish boys, how could you fall for such a stupid trick?’ she screamed, falling over backwards, holding her sides to contain the wicked laughter. ‘Now you are both nothing but useless firewood. You should have listened to your friend, Philip; he’s the only one around here with a bit of savvy. A bit of savvy was obviously not good enough for my master trickery, I guess.’

  ‘She’s right, Frank, sorry for not believing you,’ Philip mumbled, hanging his leafy head down in shame.

  ‘It’s not your fault. I also took the bait just like you did.’

  ‘We came here to change from being monkeys Frank; now we are a pair of trees, the things monkeys enjoy most.’

  ‘Isn’t that ironic?’

  The other flower fairies had returned, and were all giggling amongst themselves as they watched the branchy schoolboys gaze at each other in misery.

  ‘Ya mun Azor, dat be much better dan an ordinary curd trick mun,’ Paulina chirped, impressed with her sister fairy’s masterly deception.

  ‘How did you do that, Azor?’ Frank asked. He had very little strength left in him to retaliate and hung his leafy head in despondent misery.

  ‘Well, tree boy, we are not the rulers here for nothing. With our magical abilities we can be whoever, whenever we like, and make you whatever we want you to be when we like.’ The wicked fairy boasted like an immature spoilt child, with far too much undeserved power at her disposal.

  ‘Why did you make us trees then? It’s so boring,’ Frank asked, in a feeble attempt to throw an insult.

  ‘Boring?’ Azor snapped, shocked by the question, ‘Well…’

  ‘It’s like this Frank, or should I call you Russell?’ Lily Madonna interrupted with a chuckle, eager to get back at him for earlier issues. ‘All the plant life on this planet is under our command, my dear, and by turning you boys into trees, we are quite simply keeping the pair of you in place, firmly rooted if you know what I mean? Human beings are such meddlesome creatures, and who knows what trouble you would get up to here as boys? Just be grateful that we made you trees. Look at poor Patroux in the corner over there; he’ll be confined to the pot for the rest of his life. That is, of course, if you don’t decide to knock him out of it again, Frankie boy.’