Heartless

by Jennifer Sucevic

  “Hey!” Talk about rude! Lanie’s right, people have no manners. “What the—”

  I don’t get the rest out before one of the girls leans over the toilet and vomits all over the place. Holy shit, that’s disgusting. The toilet and floor surrounding the white porcelain are now covered in what I’m guessing was tonight’s dinner.

  I slap a hand over my mouth as I gag.

  Look away!

  But I can’t. It’s like a horrific traffic accident playing out before my eyes.

  The second girl gathers up the other one’s long hair, so puke doesn’t get in the brown strands, but it’s too late for that. She gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry. She’s not feeling good.”

  Clearly.

  “No problem.” I wave off her apology. “It was obviously an emergency situation.” Looks like I won’t be using the facilities after all. I’d rather find a bush outside.

  “Just go use my bathroom,” she says. “It’s right down the hall. You’ll have to go through the bedroom to get there.”

  I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. I don’t really need—”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.” She grimaces when her friend hurls again. At least this time, the contents make it into the toilet. “I didn’t want her puking in my bathroom.”

  Can’t really say I blame her for that.

  I shuffle from one foot to another as I realize how bad I’ve got to go. “Are you sure you don’t mind me using it?”

  “Not at all. Just make sure you close the door on the way out of the bedroom, I don’t want anyone else in there.”

  “Thanks.” I give her a wave and take off.

  Once I’m in the hallway, my stomach settles, and I glance at the closed doors. I can’t remember if she said her bedroom was the one on the left or right. Or maybe she didn’t tell me. Who the hell can remember with all that puke? It was psychologically damaging.

  I grab the handle of the first door I come to and push it open. After a moment, my eyes adjust to the darkness and I spot two doors. My guess is that one of them is the bathroom. I’m a few steps over the threshold when a noise from the other side of the room catches my attention and my head snaps in that direction. I had assumed the room was empty but apparently that’s not the case.

  Great.

  Like I need to interrupt someone getting it on.

  With my luck, it’ll be Lanie and Jax.

  Mid-coitus.

  Ugh.

  You know what?

  I can hold it. I’m just going to back right out of here and—

  Another noise breaks the silence and I squint as a couple takes form. Moonlight streams through the unadorned window and I catch a strip of hard male flesh as the girl shoves his T-shirt up before kissing her way down his chest.

  Neither of them are aware of my presence which makes it the perfect time to sneak out. If this continues in the direction it’s going, then I’m moments away from witnessing some guy get a blowie. But something holds me transfixed. The guy is tall and muscular, but I can’t tell much more than that. His features are shrouded by shadows.

  When the girl drops to her knees, he tangles his fingers through her long mane of hair. There’s the snap of a button before it’s followed by the scrape of metal teeth as a zipper is dragged down. A rustle of clothing breaks the silence before he groans.

  The sound is like a lightning strike down to the tips of my toes.

  I know the sound of that voice.

  When I gasp, Hunter stills and his head jerks upright. Maybe I can’t see his eyes, but I feel the penetrating stare down to my soul.

  Pain blooms in my chest like a gunshot wound. How will I ever be able to look at him again and not see this girl on her knees? The image has been seared into my mind for eternity.

  With his gaze locked on mine, he pulls her closer. My chest tightens until the anguish is crippling. I can’t breathe and I’m powerless to look away. I’m trapped in a nightmare of my own making. My legs refuse to obey the commands of my brain.

  When he tips his head back, the connection between us is severed and I’m able to blink out of the stupor that has fallen over me. I clamp my lips together so the agony building inside can’t break loose before racing out of the room and down the hall. Wetness blurs my vision as I burst into the living room where the noise of the party rages around me. Everything is too loud, too boisterous. It echoes off the walls of my skull. There are too many bodies pressing in on me.

  Blindly I force my way through the thick crowd, moving steadily toward the front door. The moment I step onto the front porch, fresh air slams against my cheeks. I stop and suck in a deep breath before expelling it from my lungs. Even though people are pushing past me, I repeat the process over and over again until my insides loosen, and I no longer feel like I’m going to throw up.

  “Skye—”

  I spin around at the sound of Hunter’s voice. We watch each other warily as the party fades to the background. When he moves toward me, I scramble back a step, not wanting him to come any closer. There’s safety in distance and I need that.

  “Stay away from me!” I throw up a hand to ward him off. His presence riddles me with heartache. I have no right to feel that way, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

  How is it possible that I still love him when all he’s done is hurt me?

  I want to laugh at the absurdity of it, but I’m afraid I’ll only end up crying.

  He ignores my protests and stalks closer.

  “Go back inside and leave me alone.” Nausea churns in my belly at the thought of him with that girl.

  “No, we need to talk.”

  “We have nothing to talk about!”

  I back up another step, but there’s nowhere for me to go. My arms pinwheel as Hunter leaps forward and grabs them before jerking me to him. I stumble forward and crash into his chest. With his arms banded around me, he shifts our bodies so that his back is to the staircase and I’m no longer in danger of falling.

  I find myself pressed against his hard strength and inundated by his masculine scent. It’s one I’ve spent years dreaming about. If I close my eyes, I can almost pretend we’re still in high school and Hunter worships the ground I walk on.

  I shove those thoughts from my mind and focus on the here and now. From the moment I stepped foot on campus, his sole objective has been to cause me pain. The hold he has on my heart is unrelenting. He needs to let me go so that we can both move on with our lives.

  With a burst of strength, I press my palms against his chest and push. Instead of releasing me, his grip tightens.

  “You’re such an asshole,” I whisper, continuing to struggle against him.

  Hunter yanks me closer as laughter falls from lips that are twisted in bitterness. “And why is that? Because you saw me with another girl? You’re the one who broke up with me. Not the other way around, sweetheart. I can fuck whoever I want and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

  The way he sneers out the endearment sends hot licks of rage bubbling up inside me. I twist out of his grip and pummel my fists against his chest with all of the fury and grief he’s ignited in me. “I hate you!”

  “That’s hilarious! Why the hell would you hate me? All I ever did was love you.”

  His words are just another dagger through my heart. What he doesn’t understand is that everything I did was for him. The sacrifices I made were so he would have the best chance of achieving his dream.

  I open my mouth to fire off a scathing response before quickly slamming it shut. It’s on the tip of my tongue to blurt out that he broke my heart—that he breaks it every damn day in his quest to hurt me—but my lips refuse to give voice to the words. Instead, I shake my head and keep the truth buried deep inside where it belongs.

  I can’t do this with him anymore.

  It’s too painful.

  Confusion and anger churn in his eyes, and I realize there is nothing that will salvage the situation. The secret is m
ine to keep no matter what the circumstances.

  “You’re right, Hunter. You can do whatever you want.” Hopelessness fills my entire being. The weight of it threatens to bring me to my knees. “Just stay away from me while you do it.”

  Before he’s able to hurtle any more questions or accusations at me, I rush down the stairs and into the darkness.

  What I need right now is to be alone and lick my wounds. Maybe then, I’ll be able to leave him in the past where he belongs and move on.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Hunter

  I watch Skye as she shoves her way through the throng of drunk students before rushing down the sidewalk.

  What the fuck just happened?

  Is she seriously pissed at me?

  At me?

  For what?

  Screwing around with a random chick?

  Un-fucking-believable. I don’t owe Skye anything. She’s the one who walked away from our relationship. She doesn’t get to be angry. I can mess around with whoever I want. I shift my weight as she disappears from sight.

  But if that’s true, then why do I feel like I got caught cheating on the one woman I love more than anything?

  What I meant to say was loved.

  Past tense.

  I loved her.

  That’s no longer the case.

  I drag a hand through my hair and try to decide how to handle the situation. Here’s what I know—I can’t let her walk away.

  Not like this.

  I don’t get more than a step before a beefy hand wraps around my bicep and holds me in place.

  What the fuck?

  I’m in no mood to deal with cleat sniffers. I swing around, ready to bite some jackass’s head off only to find Jaxon.

  My gaze drops to the point of contact before it flicks to his face. “What are you doing?”

  “Saving you from making a big fucking mistake.”

  What the hell does that mean?

  I poker up to my full height and cock my head. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me, bro. You need to leave Skye alone and stop playing these games with her.”

  Is this guy for real?

  When I yank my arm, he relinquishes his grip. “Fuck off, Jax. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I’m not looking to have a problem with him, but if he doesn’t mind his own damn business, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

  “I know more than you think I do.” He pauses for a beat. “You’ve been toying nonstop with her since she returned, and it needs to stop.” He jerks his chin toward the sidewalk. “She dumped your ass a while ago. Get over it and move on.” Jaxon folds his arms across his thickly corded chest. “Skye’s a nice girl and she has enough going on in her life without having to deal with your unresolved bullshit.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Guilt flashes across his face before it disappears. “Nothing,” he mutters.

  I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

  Is he seriously this whipped?

  Sure, I get that Jax is dating Skye’s best friend, but we’re teammates. He’s supposed to have my back. Not be stabbing me in it. The guy needs to get his priorities straight.

  I shift my weight and glare. “Are you really going to side with a chick you just met over me?”

  His shoulders fall as his expression turns to one of regret. “I don’t want to, but yeah, I am. You need to back off. This is your first and last warning. If you continue to screw with her, you’ll answer to me. Got it, Price?”

  When I remain silent, Jaxon slaps me none too gently on the shoulder. “Good talk, man.”

  Then he disappears inside the house. It’s pretty damn bad when your own teammates turn on you.

  You know what?

  Fuck Jaxon.

  I’ll deal with his ass later. Right now, I need to find Skye. If she thinks she can walk away from me, she’s got another thing coming. As much as we both want this to be over with, it’s not.

  I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will be.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Skye

  I t takes about fifteen minutes to make it home from the party. Should I have walked by myself? Probably not, but I was too upset to stop and make other arrangements. Once home, I jump in the shower and try to wash away everything that happened this evening with Hunter. For a night that started out full of promise, it turned to shit by the end. After my shower, I wrap up in my comfy white robe and brew a mug of hot tea. There’s something about a warm drink that helps settle everything inside you.

  And if there was ever a time I could use that, it’s now.

  As I sit on the couch, I try not to dwell on Hunter and the pain that continues to pound through me. But it’s all I can think about. How can I love someone so desperately when all he wants to do is lash out at me? It doesn’t make sense.

  I lift the mug to my lips and take another sip when there’s a knock at the door.

  My belly hollows as I set the cup down on the coffee table. Even before I rise to my feet, I know who will be on the other side of the threshold. My body trembles as I force myself to the entryway.

  I hesitate at the door, unsure if I should answer it. I can’t do this anymore, the constant back and forth is tearing me apart.

  He knocks again and my pulse picks up speed as I wring my hands together.

  “I know you’re in there Skye,” he says softly, confirming my fears.

  If I allow him inside, I know exactly what will happen. Lanie’s right. Sexual tension has been simmering between us since I crashed into him at the field party. And it rachets up every time we’re together. Sooner or later, it’s going to explode.

  I flatten my palm against the wood as if I can feel his presence on the other side. When he raps his fist against the barrier that separates us, I startle and fall back a step.

  “Open the door so we can talk.”

  Ha!

  Talking is the last thing he has on his mind.

  And yet, I’m tempted to give in to what we both want. But how can I do that when I know how disastrously it will end?

  Air leaks from my lungs when everything goes silent. I stand on my tiptoes and peek through the peephole. As I press my eye to the small circle, my phone breaks the silence with a loud ring. I shriek and swing around, searching frantically for my cell.

  “Got you,” he says.

  My shoulders slump as I grab the knob and twist. Hunter stands on the other side with his phone in hand. He presses the red end button and a few seconds later, my cell stops ringing.

  “Cheater,” I accuse.

  He pops a shoulder into a shrug. “Maybe.”

  When I don’t budge from in front of the door, he clears his throat, “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

  “No. If you have something to say, you can do it from there. I was about to go to bed.”

  His gaze drops from my face, taking in the fuzzy robe I’m wrapped in. I glance down to make sure everything is covered.

  “You still have that?” he asks softly.

  “Why wouldn’t I? It’s my favorite.” That’s when I remember it was Hunter who surprised me with it for Christmas during our senior year of high school.

  Our eyes lock and hold as we fall into silence. Once again, I’m left wishing that everything could be different between us. Even though we’ve spent the last few years apart, it still feels as though our lives are entwined and there’s nothing that will ever separate them.

  “I can’t do it,” he murmurs, interrupting my thoughts.

  I wrack my brain for meaning. It feels as if I’ve missed part of the conversation. “Can’t do what?”

  “I can’t stay away from you.” A weary acceptance fills his voice. “God knows I’ve tried.”

  He takes a step forward and my heartbeat hitches. When he takes another, I scramble backward, trying to keep distance between us. But how much is enough? How much will stop this from happening. Fire leaps in
his eyes as he tracks my movements further into the townhouse.

  “I’ve tried everything to get you out of my head.” His voice drops as he stalks closer. “I don’t know what else to do.”

  “We can’t.”

  When my thighs hit the back of the couch, I realize there’s nowhere else for me to go. Hunter is so close. Body heat radiates from him in heavy waves. He lifts his hand before gently tracing the curve of my jaw with his fingers. “I’ve told you from the beginning that it’s what we both need.”

  His wide palm cups the side of my face and I’m so tempted to close my eyes and sink into his touch.

  “You want this as much as I do. Do us both a favor and admit it.”

  My shoulders collapse because he’s right.

  I want this.

  I want him.

  But I’m also aware it won’t end well. Up until this point, that knowledge has kept me from giving in to the deep-seated need I have for him.

  “We need closure in order to move on with our lives.”

  When his lips brush the other side of my face, I melt.

  Sensing my surrender, Hunter presses delicate kisses along my throat before nipping me with sharp teeth. I groan and bare more of my flesh to him. This is exactly what I was afraid of when I opened the door. The moment Hunter lays his hands on me, I come undone.

  “I need you, Skye,” he whispers.

  My heart soars.

  “I need to fuck you out of my system once and for all.”

  And just like that, it crashes. The silky web of seduction he had been weaving around me disintegrates. A pile of ash sits at the bottom of my belly. That’s all this will ever be for him.

  Fucking.

  So he can move on.

  From me.

  This is in no way a seduction. Perhaps his touch is gentle and his kisses soft, but his intentions are clear. If I give in to his demands, what happens between us will be screwing, plain and simple. I’ll mean nothing more to him than the girl who was on her knees at the party. That thought sickens me enough to rekindle my anger. I press my palms against his chest and shove with all my might. He doesn’t go far, but it’s enough for me to evade his hold.