If You Cherish Me

by Ciara Knight

  “Where is everyone?”

  The light flooded out of Lacey’s room, showing her eyeing the floor. “Nana’s asleep, has been since I came in from work.”

  “And Declan?”

  Lacey slid her toes back and forth on the carpet. “I don’t want to say.”

  Felicia stiffened at Lacey’s serious tone. “Just tell the truth. That’s all that matters.”

  “The truth is, I don’t know. One minute he was on your computer. I think he was digging into the finance stuff like I’m sure you asked him to, but I’m not positive. When I walked in, he shut the computer off fast and then took off in the truck without a word.” Lacey inched closer. “I’m sure he’ll be back any minute. He’s been gone for hours.”

  “Hours?”

  “Yes.”

  Felicia eyed the door. “Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.”

  “I’m sure he has a good reason. I mean, he’ll tell you when he returns. Just make sure you listen between his words and watch his expression. It’s something I learned from your grandmother. When a man is lying or keeping things from you or he doesn’t want to tell you too much. I’m sure Declan will explain, though. You trust him, right?”

  “Yes, of course I do.” Felicia didn’t like where this was going, probably based on some jealousy on her part, and she’d punished Lacey enough. “Listen, tomorrow I’ll need you all day. If you could run out and purchase some things for me, I’ll leave the list on the desk along with the company card.”

  Lacey bolted forward. “Thank you. I really appreciate this. I’m so glad we’re friends again. It means everything to me.” She bit her bottom lip then looked up at Felicia with the most honest expression she’d ever seen in her cousin. “I miss you. I miss the way things were between us.”

  “Me, too.”

  Lacey launched into a hug and clung to Felicia. They stood there for a minute or two as if her hug meant the end to all the drama and a hope for a better relationship between them. It felt right, like the way it used to be between them.

  Lights flashed through the house from the end of the driveway, drawing Felicia to the window. Her truck bounced along the gravel and stopped in her spot. She swallowed the feeling of suspicion. “I’m sure you’ve worked hard. Why don’t you go get cleaned up while I get dinner ready.”

  Lacey eyed the window. “Right. Sure. I’ll give you two some privacy.” She darted to her room and shut the door. It was nice to have the old, sweet, caring Lacey back. Felicia had always known separating her from Jason would make all the difference in her attitude.

  Felicia couldn’t stand still, so she went to the refrigerator and pulled out some hotdogs and tossed them in a frying pan. The front door opened, and before he even said a word, she could smell the aroma of men’s cologne. A scent he hadn’t worn around her before. It was cedar with an undertone of allure.

  “I’m sorry I’m late. It took longer than I thought. You don’t have to cook. I’ve got it. I’ll whip something up quick.”

  She grabbed a fork out of the drawer and flipped the hot dogs. “No need. I just arrived home and found my truck gone and didn’t know where you went or when you’d be home, so I figured I better get some dinner ready.”

  “You didn’t get my note?” Declan eyed the kitchen table. “I left it here.”

  “There wasn’t any message that I found.” Felicia heard the air of agitation in her voice, but she couldn’t help it.

  He searched the table and then the counter. Brushing past her, he ignited the hair on her arms to full attention. “Here it is. Weird. It’s behind the bills on the stand. Who would put it there?”

  “What did it say?” she asked. A hint of comfort that he’d cared enough to leave her a message helped ease her nerves.

  “It said that I was going out and borrowing the truck. I hoped that was okay and that I’d be back by dinner.” Declan moved behind her, close, so close, his hands on her shoulders. “I’m so sorry if I worried you. Didn’t Nana tell you I’d left?”

  “No, she’s asleep.” Felicia knew she had no reason to be mad at him. He’d left a message and told her grandmother. “Where did you go?”

  Silence.

  Felicia moved the pan away from the flame and turned off the burner. “I think I have a right to know where you took my truck. I’d thought Lacey had stolen it to go visit Jason.”

  “No. I borrowed it.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “What’s wrong? You sound different.”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. I just wanted to know where you went, but if you’re going to keep it from me…”

  “I’m not. I mean, I am for a few days.” He turned her into his arms, his eyes longing and searching. “I told you that I couldn’t be with you because I can’t be the man you deserve, but something’s changed. No, you changed me. I’m working on something, and I want to tell you when I have it all worked out. As for today…” He blinked and looked away. “I went to Riverbend. I needed to see someone.” He released her and retrieved the plates from the cabinet.

  “Who?” Perhaps it was her frustration about how far he’d been from her for weeks, or maybe it was Lacey’s words haunting her about spotting signs when a man was doing wrong. Either way, she wanted answers.

  He set the plates onto the table and leaned over with his palms pressed to the wood top. “I…I went to see my mother.”

  “Your mother? I thought you two weren’t on speaking terms.” She flinched at how insensitive her words were.

  “We’re not. I mean, we weren’t, but we spoke, and now we’re not speaking again.” Declan pushed from the table and set a plate at each seat. “Can we not talk about that right now?” He sounded wounded, lost, and it tugged at her heart. She wanted to race over and hug him, but something still stood in the way.

  “I just need a few days to work some things out, and then if everything does, I want to ask you out on a real date.”

  The way he said he wanted to ask her on a date sounded distant, hollow. “I’m not forcing you to ask me out. Don’t do me any favors.”

  “You know I want to be with you, Felicia,” he said in a deep, wanting tone.

  “How would I know that?” Her patience snapped, and she had no diplomacy left. “I feel like a rubber band being stretched between two realities. One, you want me and one you don’t. First you say you can’t be with me, then you act like you do, then you don’t, and now you do. It’s been weeks of tiptoeing around with desire floating in the air between us. A brush of your arm against my skin, a breath over my cheek, a longing glance, but not one kiss not since the one you planted on me that spun me around and had me believing you were opening up to me. Now you’re closed off more than ever.”

  “I do want you. More than anything.” He grabbed hold of her and held her tight against his chest, looking down at her with fire in his eyes. “I know I haven’t been fair to you. It’s been complicated, but I wanted to wait until I had everything worked out before I told you how I really felt.” He took in a deep, stuttered breath and slid his fingers into her hair, clutching the back of her neck. “That I am falling for you. That you’re the most beautiful, accomplished, talented, giving, lovable human being I’ve ever met. And there is nothing more in life that I want to do than kiss you.”

  Twenty

  A week was too long to wait for the job interview and to keep the secret from Felicia, but he worried that he’d get her hopes up and then let her down. He’d come close to giving in, succumbing to his passion. He closed his eyes and savored the memory of the way she’d looked at him, the way she’d clung to him, the way she crumbled when he released her without committing. It gutted him, tore him up with need and want and desire and he’d dreamed about their almost kiss every night since. There were many things in the world he could face, but seeing Felicia disappointed wasn’t one of them. When he kissed her again, he wanted it to be a kiss sealing their future, not their end.

  He stood at the window waiting for Stella to pick F
elicia up for all-day wedding planning, filming segment, and other distractions for Operation Secret Job Interview. The girls had been more than kind and supported him on his wishes and even encouraged him to get his life together before pursuing Felicia. If they still had an issue with him having romantic intentions for her, they didn’t share it with him. Except for Stella. She always had a sassy remark to make when they were on the phone, but he started to realize that was only a form of communication for her.

  Stella’s old 1957 Chevy pulled in with a new paint job. The girl had refurbished the car to look brand-new yet classic, with the turquoise paint and white-walled tires. He held his breath and watched Felicia get into the car and ride away from the house. Hopefully, when she returned, he could tell her about the job and they could move forward. If not, he’d get another interview. He wouldn’t give up, not until he could earn the right to date Felicia and get the town’s approval. He looked forward to stopping by the center to see his mother on his way to his interview. She’d been so determined to drive him out of her life. Did she still hate him, despite saying she believed that he’d protected them by going to jail instead of his father? If not, why had she called for the staff member to escort him away so quickly?

  With mutant, four winged butterflies in his chest, he stepped out of the camper and headed to the office to get the keys to the truck and to call the center to see if he could visit. When he rounded the corner of the house, he heard voices—Lacey and a man he’d never heard before.

  “We have to do something,” the deep voice said with an air of agitation.

  “What?” Lacey sounded winded, scared.

  Declan bolted into the office and found who he guessed to be Jason gripping Lacey by the arms. “Take your hands off her.”

  The young man jumped back but then recovered. He flipped his long hair out of his eyes and squared his shoulders, but his hands shook. “This is none of your business.”

  “It’s my business if you put your hands on Lacey,” Declan said in his deep, intimidating tone, fisting his hands at his sides.

  Lacey leapt between them. “Nothing’s going on. Jason came by to see me, that’s all. I’ll walk him out.”

  “There’s no car here,” Declan pointed out, knowing Jason probably left his car hidden. Couldn’t Lacey see him for the coward he was?

  “I told him to park out of sight. I knew you’d act all crazy.” Lacey tugged Jason to the door. “Stay out of my business. You’re not my father.”

  Declan turned to face them when they moved around him. “No—if I was, I’d call the police and have Jason removed from my property.”

  Lacey huffed. “Not your property, and you’re no friend to the police.”

  She had a point, and he had no right to interfere, but he’d share this with Felicia the minute he saw her again. For now, he needed to get to his appointment, so he snagged the keys and raced to the truck. He only had a few hours to make it to Riverbend, do the interview, see his mother, and get to the house before Felicia returned. Luckily, Stella, Carissa, and Nana all knew of his plans. He’d enjoyed getting closer to all of them, knowing how important they were to Felicia.

  Luckily, the traffic was light, and he made it to Riverbend in record time. The clock tower in the center of campus struck ten, so he had thirty minutes to get to the interview. He wished he had a coat and tie, but he’d have to make do with his khakis and button-up shirt for now.

  His pulse matched his quick steps down the main street to the four-story, brick-front building. It was only the human resources building, since most of the people worked remotely, which made the job all the more appealing to Declan. Talk about the best of both worlds, remaining at the nursery to help out in the mornings and evenings around his day job.

  The two front glass doors opened into a small lobby with an exposed brick wall behind a receptionist desk, where a woman waited with a warm smile. “Mr. Mills?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He stood tall and matched her smile.

  “Great. Follow me, please.” Her heels clicked around the desk and down the hallway to a conference room, where she directed him to sit at a long table. “They’ll be in to see you shortly.”

  “Thank you.” He paced around the table, then sat, then stood, then looked out the window, and then sat again. All the time, his heart beat against his chest and his mouth turned drier than dirt during a ten-year drought.

  Twenty-two minutes later, two suits walked in, and he couldn’t help but flash back to his pre-prison days, when he wore the same coat-and-tie uniform to work each day. At that moment, he realized he didn’t miss it. He enjoyed getting his hands dirty and working outside.

  The front man set a laptop on the table and held his hand out. Declan shook it and then the other when the second man held it out.

  “Sit, please.” The front man with the red tie pointed to a chair, so Declan settled into it. He opened the laptop, scrolled through something, and then closed it and folded his hands. “We’re impressed with your resume, and we value Mr. Hutchins, who spoke on your behalf,” he said in a condescending, this-is-just-a-formality kind of tone.

  “But…” Declan offered, knowing this wasn’t going to be all he’d hoped.

  “Can we be honest?” The second man sat forward, clasping his hands like the other.

  “You can’t hire an ex-con,” Declan blurted.

  Both men shifted, as if the term made them so uncomfortable they didn’t want to hear it aloud. “The thing is that we’re a small company that allows our employees a certain amount of…freedom. That means we don’t have the resources to monitor any single employee, especially one who is working as a senior accountant.”

  Declan felt his dreams of a better life slipping away. Felicia slipping away. “I would be fine with a junior level spot, in more of a supportive role.”

  “As we said, we’re a small company.”

  The firm tone brooked no more argument. Declan wouldn’t bother protesting his innocence. Their you’re-not-worth-our-time-or-effort expressions spoke volumes. “I see. Thank you for taking the meeting,” he said, but what he wanted to say was thanks for wasting his time.

  After a quick good-bye, Declan hotfooted it across town, anger bubbling to the surface with the realization that he’d gotten ahead of himself. The life he wanted wouldn’t be so easy to achieve.

  Disappointment rained on his day, but he refused to let it win, so he headed to visit his mother. But when he entered, the receptionist stood with a hesitant, pouty-lip expression. She didn’t have to tell him. He knew. His mother refused to see him.

  Dejected, frustrated, and upset, he marched to the truck, and found an officer standing beside it. He forced a calming breath, concentrating on the fact that not every law enforcement officer was out to put him back in jail. “I apologize, Officer. I thought I was allowed to park here. I’ll move now.”

  “I need to see your license and registration, please,” the policeman ordered.

  “I’m sorry?”

  The officer moved his hand to his gun. “Is this your vehicle, sir?”

  “No, I borrowed it.”

  Another officer came up behind him with his hand on his weapon. “You sure you borrowed it?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “Because this vehicle was reported stolen.”

  Twenty-One

  A friendship circle surrounded Felicia in the heart of Maple Grounds. She held her phone tight in her hands. “I don’t understand.”

  Jackie uncharacteristically patted her leg. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

  “No. It doesn’t make sense. Why was he arrested? Why in Riverbend, and why do they want me to report to the precinct?”

  Stella looked to Carissa with an I-know-something look.

  “What?” Felicia shot forward. “You’re keeping something from me.”

  Mary-Beth cleared her throat. “We were helping Declan make a better life. He wanted to surprise you.”

  “You were in on this, too?” Felicia
shot Mary-Beth a sideways glance.

  “I wasn’t.” Jackie glowered at them all. “What’s going on? Spill it now.”

  Stella cracked her knuckles. “We were trying to help the man you claim to care about so that you’d have a better life with him. He was in Riverbend for a job interview. An old college roommate made a call, and he wanted to keep it a secret until he knew it would work out. He didn’t want to get your hopes up because he knew you were frustrated with the back and forth of everything.”

  “Not of his circumstances. Of his lack of trust in me. The fact that he wouldn’t share things with me, that he kept pulling away.”

  “We’re sorry. We thought we were helping.” Carissa studied her hands. “We should never keep secrets from each other.”

  “You’re right, you shouldn’t.” Jackie sat up superiorly tall.

  “It’s okay. I understand that you were trying to help.” Felicia sighed.

  “That’s your problem. That’s how you end up with all these strays. You’re too nice and too giving. This man isn’t right for you. For goodness’ sakes, he’s in jail.” Jackie shot up from her chair. “I, for one, am not going to support this another minute. You should leave him in jail and return home to your life.” Jackie gathered her purse and marched out the door.

  “I need a ride, please.” Felicia looked to Stella.

  “On it.” Before anyone could say another word, Stella was out front with the car started.

  Mary-Beth wrapped her arms around Felicia. “We’re here to support you. We trust you, so ignore Jackie. Go figure out what’s going on before you make any decisions.”

  Felicia slipped from her arms and joined Stella with Carissa by her side. “You don’t have to go.”

  “I’m part of this. I’m going.” Carissa hopped into the back seat, and they took off for Riverbend. To Felicia’s relief, they rode in silence all the way, allowing her to think through everything. How could she continue caring about a man who didn’t confide in her? Jackie was right that she needed to stick up for herself and stop allowing strays to take advantage of her. She didn’t want to live a life with secrets and deception. He had to trust her, or he had to go. It would kill her, but enough was enough.