A Love for Lizzie

by Tracey J. Lyons

  After Rachel and Jacob came forward and answered their vow questions, there came the closing prayer and then they were pronounced Frau and Mann. After the service Paul ran to catch up with Lizzie but saw her being swept away by Sadie and a few other women. She laughed at something Sadie said. It warmed his heart to see her so happy.

  He joined his bruders under the branches of a large oak tree. Jebediah Troyer, one of the church elders, came up to him.

  “How is your business faring, Paul?”

  “The shop is doing better than I anticipated,” Paul answered, fighting the urge to rub his hand across the back of his neck. He knew the elders had been watching the situation between him and his vader.

  “I’m glad to hear that. You keep up the good work. I know your family will come around to your way of thinking eventually. We are praying for that.”

  Paul was surprised that the elders felt this way. Normally they sided with the head of the family in situations like this.

  “But if it doesn’t work out that way, you will return to your vader’s shop.”

  He knew better than to speak openly at a wedding about his thoughts on the Burkholder Furniture Store. Paul thanked the elder and turned as Jacob and Rachel caught his attention. The bride, wearing a new white kapp, and the groom, with his wide-brimmed hat—signaling that they were now a married couple—wandered around the masses of people. They tapped the single young men and women on the shoulder, pairing them off for the meal. When they came to him, Paul shook his head. The only woman he wanted to share his meal with was Lizzie. He wouldn’t feel right turning down their pairing, but hoped he wouldn’t have to be put in the position of declining.

  Rachel bubbled with happiness. “Paul, Jacob and I want you to come with us.”

  Taking hold of his arm, she tugged him along to the grassy clearing, where another dining tent had been erected. “I can’t...”

  “You don’t even know who we’ve picked for you,” Jacob said, slapping him on the back.

  He ducked his head and entered the tent. Lanterns hung from the sides of the tent and lining the tables cast a warm glow, lighting the way. The air smelled of the wedding roascht and wildflowers. There were Queen Anne’s lace, lavender and fern fronds filling the dozens of canning jars. Outside the tent, the kinder chased the fireflies, hoping to catch a few to put in their empty jars. His gaze swung back into the tent filled with young couples. Some looking happier than others about their handpicked tablemates.

  Then he saw her. Standing on the other side. She had her hands folded together in front of her. Her head was a bit downcast. At this very moment Paul wanted to do away with this silly tradition of walk-a-mile among the youngies. Unfortunately this wasn’t his wedding.

  “Come.” Rachel beamed up at him.

  She led him right to Lizzie.

  “Paul!”

  He heard the relief in her voice and watched as some of the tension fell from her face. He cocked his head to one side, saying, “Lizzie. It looks like we’ve been paired off.”

  “Ja.”

  Taking her by the elbow, Paul led her to an open spot at the long row of tables. Leaning down, he said in a soft voice, “I’ve been wondering where you got off to.”

  “Sadie and I went inside the haus to leave our wedding gifts. I was hoping to avoid this.”

  He chuckled. “Me, too. At least they put us together. I would have been angry if you’d been put with another man.”

  “I wouldn’t have accepted,” she assured him.

  “I’m glad we’ll be together.”

  “I’ve played at this game plenty of times before, Paul. And mostly I’ve been alone or left to eat with my parents.” She gave a shrug, adding, “It’s no big deal, but I like this go-round much better.”

  Paul felt a tightening in his chest. He hadn’t meant his words to be hurtful. In all the years he’d stood by and watched Lizzie grow from a young girl into a young woman, it hadn’t occurred to him the pain she’d been enduring. In a society that valued marriages and family, it was difficult to be single.

  “I’m sorry if I sounded insensitive.”

  “You weren’t being insensitive. You were being honest. I like honesty.”

  The tent filled with more couples. Pretty soon the seats across from them and on either side of them became occupied. Some of the people he recognized, and others he’d never seen before, as they came from neighboring church districts. He watched as, one after the other, their tablemates averted their eyes from Lizzie. He felt her stiffen when a particular young man outright made a sour face in her direction.

  Seeing firsthand what she’d been enduring for years sickened him. He thought he might have to ask the stranger to leave the table. Lizzie must have been sensing his thoughts, because she gave him a warning look and a quick shake of her head.

  “I could ask him to leave.”

  “Nee. Don’t bother. I’m fine, really.”

  Still he saw the hurt in her eyes and watched as she started to shield her face with one hand. He wasn’t having any of this. This was a festive and joyous day, and she deserved to enjoy herself. Grabbing hold of her hand, he pulled her off the seat.

  “Come on.”

  Leaving her napkin behind, she left the tent with him. He found them a quiet spot at the edge of the yard, away from prying eyes.

  Tugging her hand out of his grip, she stood still. He suddenly realized his abrupt actions might not have helped matters.

  “Paul, it’s all right. I’m used to that sort of thing.”

  “You shouldn’t have to be used to it.” He scuffed the toe of his boot along the ground in front of him. “I never understood until today.”

  “Few people do. But I don’t want people to like me or want to be with me because they feel sorry for me, either.” Folding her arms across her chest, she meandered around to the other side of the pine tree they’d stopped at. “Don’t ever feel sorry for me.”

  He heard the hurt and a bit of determination in her voice and felt like the worst kind of the worst.

  Laying his hand against the rough bark, he dragged it along as he joined her on the other side. Up until this point it had been a beautiful day. He didn’t want to ruin it with the silly notion that he was sure Lizzie was thinking, that somehow he was spending time with her out of pity. He stopped moving when he came to her. She had her face turned downward, her eyes half-closed. Paul could see the scar on her cheek, except to him it was no longer a scar.

  It was a part of the woman he loved.

  “Elizabeth Miller, I don’t feel sorry for you. You are one of the bravest, most courageous people I know. I had no idea, all these years, what you must have suffered at the hands of strangers, at the hands of those who know you,” he added, thinking about the words her vader had said to him that day, months ago, on their front porch.

  Joseph had been wrong to assume that Lizzie couldn’t find love on her own. Saying that his daughter’s appearance would keep her from finding a husband had been downright wrong.

  Oh, Paul knew the man had said those things out of desperation, but still Lizzie deserved so much better than that. From the distance came the sound of singing. He gazed down at Lizzie, rubbing his thumb over her chin.

  “Do you want to try again for something to eat?”

  “Nee. I’m not hungry.”

  He tipped his head to the side, “Lizzie, don’t let them keep you away.”

  “I’m not. I had a snack when Sadie and I dropped our gifts off, before the ceremony started.”

  “You’re not just telling me that to make me feel better?”

  “And what if I am?” she admitted.

  “Well, I’d be sad that we didn’t get to share Rachel and Jacob’s wedding feast together.” Pushing away from the tree, he offered, “Let’s go see if there’s any food left.”

  At that
very moment Paul’s vader approached them with two men flanking him. Paul recognized Silas Yoder, and from the looks of the other man, who was dressed in a white collared shirt and tan pants, Paul knew him to be an Englischer.

  “Here you are! I want you to meet someone.” His vader took hold of his arm, taking him away from Lizzie.

  “This is Kurt Reynolds, a friend of Jacob’s vader. He went by your shop today.”

  The man pushed a pair of sunglasses on top of his head, saying, “Yes, I stopped by on my way out here for the wedding. I didn’t realize you’d be closed on a Thursday.”

  “Ja. We close our businesses on wedding days,” Paul explained.

  He didn’t want to talk business. He wanted to spend time with Lizzie. She’d stepped off to the side to let him carry on this conversation.

  “I’ve been hearing great things about your furniture. I also heard that you have a limited selection of watercolors.”

  Lizzie gasped.

  Paul covered her reaction by taking the gentleman by the arm and leading him farther away from her. He didn’t miss his vader’s raised eyebrows. Clearly he was surprised to hear Paul was selling art in addition to his furniture. Perhaps if the man gave Paul’s venture more attention, he wouldn’t have to be hearing about this. Paul tried his best to keep his frustration out of this conversation. Besides, this day was supposed to be about happiness and love, not business. He wanted to be with Lizzie.

  He wanted to tell her he loved her. Today would have been a perfect day to broach the idea of a real courtship between them. First, though, he wanted to tell her everything about the day David died. Because deep in his heart Paul knew they couldn’t begin any sort of a life together until the past was laid to rest.

  Suddenly he noticed that she was pulling away from him. He saw her walking off to meet Sadie Fischer. Paul started to call to her, but she turned to him, tilted her head ever so slightly and smiled.

  He smiled back. The moment was interrupted by the sound of the Englischer’s voice.

  “Would it be all right if I stopped by your furniture shop tomorrow?” he asked.

  Paul snapped his head around to give the future customer his attention. “Ja, ja. You can come by tomorrow. That would be gut.”

  “Good. I’ll see you then.”

  The man held his hand out, and Paul shook it. Over the top of the man’s head, he watched Lizzie join Sadie, say something in her ear and then walk off with her.

  What could they possibly be talking about?

  Chapter Twelve

  “Lizzie! I’ve been looking all over for you. Do you want to come join in the singing with me?” Sadie came bounding across the lawn to meet up with her.

  Her friend’s bright personality always made her feel better. At some weddings, hymns would be sung after the ceremony while the presents were being opened or as an activity late into the night. And normally she enjoyed singing the hymns, but not tonight. Paul had invited her to go with him and they’d been interrupted. She found that she didn’t want to go with anyone else.

  “Would you mind taking a walk with me to the cake tables instead?” she asked Sadie.

  “I’ve been seeing some delicious slices of cake being passed around. I hope there is at least some left.”

  Leaving the men to talk business, Lizzie fell into step alongside her friend.

  “I feel like it’s been days and days since we’ve seen each other.”

  Nodding her head, Lizzie agreed. “Ja. I’ve been busy feeding a lot of workers who are helping with the harvest on the farm, and working on my watercolors. And my sister came home with news that she’s having twins.”

  “Congratulations. You’re going to be an aenti. I’m so happy for you and your family,” Sadie said, giving her a warm hug. Then, taking a step back, she added, “I’ve heard some other news.”

  “What might that be?”

  “That you have been spending a lot of time with Paul lately.”

  Lizzie nibbled her lower lip. Of course it would be silly to think that in a town this size anything could be kept quiet.

  “Tell me this means the two of you are in a courtship.” Sadie clapped her hands together.

  “We are not. But...”

  “Oh, but what, Lizzie? There should be no buts allowed when it comes to you and Paul being together.” In her exuberance Sadie spun around. “You deserve to be happy.”

  Lizzie couldn’t agree more. Laughing at Sadie, she commented, “I wish I had even half of your confidence.”

  Sadie stilled. “Do not be fooled, my friend. There are things that continue to elude me.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like why you insist on taking so long to get to the cake tent.”

  Sadie linked her arm through Lizzie’s. They laughed and chattered the rest of the way across the yard, finally entering the area where tables covered with white tablecloths were laden with platters of cakes and cookies. After picking up a slice of cake with blue frosting, she followed Sadie back outside. They found an empty space at one of the tables.

  They dug into their cakes. When they were finished eating, Sadie asked, “Do you think your vader would allow you to be courted by Paul?”

  Lizzie shrugged. “I’m not sure. These feelings are still so new to me. And I haven’t told Paul how I feel yet.”

  “You need to do this. Soon. Paul is a fine man and he could be snatched up by someone else,” Sadie warned, waving her fork in front of her face. “Maybe Paul will get his letter to prove his good standing in the church from the bishop and then he can ask for your daed’s blessing.”

  She knew Paul had been baptized and that getting the Zeugnis was merely a formality. “I don’t know. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Lizzie tried not to panic over the idea of Sadie even suggesting that Paul might find another woman.

  “I’ve known for a long time that Paul is the right one for you.” Poking the end of her fork at her, Sadie, added, “Trust what is in your heart.”

  Lizzie thought that might be easier said than done. Sadie wanted to wander around the wedding, visiting with friends and family, but Lizzie didn’t feel up to it.

  “Go ahead, Sadie. I’ll wait for Paul.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  Lizzie gave her a nod. “I am. Now run along.”

  Sadie had always been the more social one between the two of them. Even as young schoolgirls, once they’d gone out to the playground, Sadie had been the one to round everyone up for games, while Lizzie had lingered on the edge of the circle. She didn’t mind that her friend went off to socialize. Lizzie enjoyed sitting here, watching everyone around her. Knowing that Paul wasn’t far away. He’d be coming back to find her soon. And if her guess were right, he’d be bringing news of a big sale with him.

  Lizzie had a feeling that the Englischer wanted to purchase some of Paul’s furniture. She didn’t mind waiting, though after a while she did tire of sitting alone and decided to walk about the grounds, stopping to say hello to her brother-in-law Aaron’s mother, Sara Yoder, who was busy talking to some friends. Lizzie paused to listen to their conversation. They were discussing how large the gathering was and how happy they were for Rachel and Jacob.

  Though Sara Yoder wouldn’t be discussing Lizzie’s sister Mary’s impending birth, Lizzie knew the news was a joyous time for both of their families.

  As Sara Yoder and the other women went on about the wedding, Lizzie believed in her heart that this is what the Amish community was best at, welcoming new family members into the fold. Lizzie knew that, no matter what, she would never want to live anywhere other than right here. No matter what happened between her and Paul, her home would always be in Miller’s Crossing.

  Leaving the women’s circle, she walked up a small rise, turning around at the top. Below her lay the wedding. Buggies lined the back field in rows, three d
eep. The canvas walls of the tents had been rolled down to help keep the bugs out. Through the plastic window cutouts, she could see the lovely lanterns all lit up. It looked so pretty. She tried to imagine what it would be like to have a grand wedding day such as this for herself. Lizzie knew it would all be too much for her.

  She wouldn’t mind a simple wedding ceremony with her family and close friends attending. As the singing continued and the kinders ran in circles on the lawn, Lizzie allowed herself to dream about her wedding day. Of course the mann she’d pick would be Paul Burkholder. Not only was he a gut friend, but he was kind and caring. Now that she thought about it, he’d always been a part of her life. And she couldn’t imagine her life without him.

  She wandered down near the barn, with the fireflies buzzing around her. Lizzie let out a sigh. There must be a million stars shining in the sky tonight. She had to find Paul to show him this glory. Suddenly she was startled by a sound coming from the bushes.

  Paul walked toward her out of the darkness.

  “Oh, it’s you, Paul. Did you have a gut meeting?”

  “I did.” He came closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

  She felt his strength and warmth emanate through his hands, and she felt his...love. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Paul let go. She gave him a questioning look, wondering what this was all about.

  “The man, Mr. Reynolds, he wants to come by the shop tomorrow. He’s interested in the dining room set. You know, the one I’ve had on display since I opened?”

  She nodded.

  “And, as you know, he’s heard about your art. As it turns out he knows the person who bought the first piece. I guess they’ve been raving about you.”

  “Me?” Lizzie felt panic rising. No one could know she was the artist. No one.

  Paul immediately grabbed her hands, holding them in his. “I promise no one except for myself and Sadie know you’re the artist. What I should have said is they are raving about the anonymous artist.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s better. Well, I’m pleased this day has turned out well for you and for me.”