Conflicted Love

by Hamford, Kacey

  “Go have fun.” He kissed me once more before I was pulled away by Carla and Eden.

  We decided to start out at a cocktail bar. ‘Cocktail-delicious’ was a posher place with high glass tables and stools. It was perfect until we got drunk and needed to dance.

  “Here we go ladies. I can guarantee you will all love this one.” I placed two jugs of Blue Bulls in the middle of the table. This cocktail always reminded me of Pup now, as it’s what I ordered when I first met him.

  “To girls’ night,” I cheered and everyone did the same.

  “You drinking tonight, Jas?” Eden asked her.

  “Yeah, just a couple. I expressed earlier so Solar could feed Lily. But I don’t normally drink.”

  “What I wanna know is… What’s going on with Tat and Eden?” I looked at Eden and she blushed slightly.

  “There’s nothing going on between us.”

  “Have you fucked?” Carla asked.

  “Oh, um…” Eden stuttered.

  “That’s a yes.” Cammie added.

  “Is that a yes?” Ashlyn asked.

  “Ok, fine. Yes, once. Maybe twice.”

  “Maybe twice?” Jasmine asked.

  “Ok fine, it was twice.” She gulped her drink down and poured herself another glass.

  “The same night or different occasions?” Carla questioned.

  “Different. But that’s it. Once I left the clubhouse he hasn’t wanted anything to do with me.”

  “So you’re single and ready to mingle.” I added as I scoped out the talent in the bar. It was full of chicks. “Well there is no fitties in here. We’ll find you someone to snuggle up with in the club.”

  “No, I’m not looking for anyone.”

  “Ok, let us just find someone for you to dance with.” Cammie added.

  “We’ll see. Oh look we’re out of cocktails.” She said as she topped everyone’s glasses up to the top. “Let me get a round in.” She grabbed the two jugs off the table and headed towards the bar. We all sat there and watched her as she flirted with the barman.

  “Did you see that, she flicked her hair.” Jasmine said.

  “Oh, now she’s biting her lip.” Ashlyn added.

  “He didn’t let her pay.” I said as she handed him some money and he shook his head but passed her something else instead.

  “Was that his number?” Cammie asked.

  “Ssshh she’s coming back.” Carla nudged me to stop me looking and we all sat at the table quietly.

  “Why is it so quiet over here?” Eden asked as she placed two more jugs in the middle of the table. These were an orangey colour.

  “Oh, what’s this?” I asked as I poured us all a drink.

  “This is sex on the beach. Tom recommended it.”

  “Oh really and did Tom recommend that you call him?” Ashlyn asked.

  “What? Were you guys watching me?”

  “We sure was.” Cammie laughed as she flicked her hair over her shoulder. We all laughed together as we finished off our cocktails and got ready to head over to club ninety nine.

  We had been out for hours and my feet were beginning to ache. I was standing by the bar and jumped as someone grabbed hold of my hand.

  “Hey gorgeous, let’s dance,” he said as he began to pull me away from the bar.

  “No, thank you.” I said yanking my hand free from his hold.

  “Oh come on, just a dance. I’m not asking for anything more.”

  “No, my boyfriend wouldn’t be too pleased about that.”

  “No, he wouldn’t.” I turned on my heel to see Sam standing behind me. “Hey, Steffi.”

  “What are you doing here?” I sighed.

  “I saw you and thought we could dance.”

  “Well, you thought wrong.” I went to step around him and he grasped hold of the top of my arms. “Sam, you’re hurting me.”

  “And you’re hurting me with this whole sleeping with a biker and playing mummy to his child. Just come back to me already.”

  “Get your hands off her.” Jono was standing by my side and when Sam didn’t let go of me Jono moved his leather jacket slightly to show him that he was carrying a gun. Sam immediately let go of me.

  “What have you gotten yourself mixed up in?”

  “A proper family.” I glared at him, out of the corner of my eye I could see the girls surrounding me, showing their support.

  “You’ll regret the decisions you’re making. I won’t be there to catch you when you fall.”

  “I don’t need you,” I stated. He stood there staring at me and I didn’t look away either, I wouldn’t be the first one to crack and look away. He shook his head, sighed and turned on his heel and stormed off.

  “I think it’s time to go back, ladies.” Jono announced.

  “Please don’t tell pup about this,” I pleaded looking between him and Steve.

  “We can’t do that. Besides, I think he’ll notice.” Jono nodded at my arm and I glanced at it to see that it was bright red. Shit, that is going to leave a bruise.

  “Take me to my brother’s house instead then please.”

  “You know he’ll come for you,” Jono said. “He’ll flip out if I don’t bring you back with me.”

  “Fine,” I huffed as I spun on my heel and headed towards the exit. I just wanted to get this over with. I knew coming out tonight was a bad idea. Lottie had already ruined it before it started.

  Pup

  “It must be nice having two women fighting over you?” Tat laughed as he threw his cards on the table, showing us that he was out of the round of poker.

  “It’s not as great as you’d think. Lottie is getting too much, I hate that it’s upsetting Stef so much.”

  “Do you want her out of the club?” Prez asked. “I’m in,” he added as he threw some more poker chips in the middle of the table.

  “I think it would make life easier if she wasn’t here. I want Stef to be my Old Lady, wife and mother of my children. I won’t have a club bunny upsetting her. But it’s your club, Prez. I’m out.” I threw my cards in the middle of the table. Prez and Solar were sharks when it came to playing poker, they both had the ultimate poker face.

  “I’ll ask around and see if we can relocate her.”

  “Does that mean fresh pussy, Prez? We’ll need someone to replace her.” Toes asked, rubbing his hands together.

  “We’ll see.”

  “Don’t you ever think about anything else?” Specs asked his older brother.

  “I bet you think of cock just as much as I think of pussy, little brother.” Toes threw his cards on the table indicating that he was out.

  “I’m out too,” Specs added and climbed to his feet.

  “Where you going?” Toes questioned him.

  “I’m going to check out this new club in…”

  “I’m in, need to get laid. Especially as the bunnies have been told to stay away tonight.” Toes climbed to his feet and straightened out his t-shirt.

  “I don’t think you’re gonna wanna come with me.”

  “Why not? A clubs a club,” he shrugged his shoulders.

  “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Specs shot us a chin lift before walking away.

  “What’s this club called?” Toes asked as he followed Specs.

  “Club Zero.”

  “Sounds cool.”

  We watched as they waltzed away.

  “Who’s in?” Prez asked.

  “Just you and Solar,” Holes added.

  “Wait a minute, isn’t club zero…” I started.

  “A gay club? Yep.” Iron added, interrupting me.

  Everyone around the table broke out into laughter, which was only interrupted by the ladies walking in, chattering.

  “You’re all back early,” Solar mentioned, sliding back his chair as Jasmine swayed over to him. He grabbed hold of her waist and placed her in his lap. “How much have you had to drink?”

  “Just a few cocktails,” she smiled before planting her lips
on his. I gazed around the room looking for Stef and noticed that she was at the back of the room talking to Jono. His jaw was clenched shut as he kept shaking his head. I climbed to my feet and ambled closer towards them.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” I asked.

  “Has that club whore stayed away?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her body.

  “Yeah, haven’t seen any women apart from you lot. What’s going on?”

  “Are you going to tell him? Or am I?” Jono was looking at Stef.

  “Fine,” she snapped, turning more towards me. “My ex Sam was at the club, he wanted me to dance with him, I said no. He wasn’t happy with that so he grabbed my arm. Jono made him leave me alone. There, happy?” She threw her arms up in the air before she stormed off down the hallway.

  “What the hell happened, man?” I asked Jono.

  “He was spouting off shit at her, telling her that he wanted her back. That she’s made a mistake getting involved with the club…” he paused what he was saying when we heard a scream.

  “What the hell?” I mumbled as I saw limbs flying in the air along with dark and blonde hair.

  “Just stay away!” Stef screamed.

  “He’ll come back to me, always does,” Lottie shouted.

  Both girls were rolling around on the floor as they slapped each other, pulled hair and kicked out. I grabbed for Stef as Iron grabbed Lottie. We pulled them apart and noticed that Stef’s lip was bleeding and Lottie’s eye was swelling shut.

  “Shit,” I swore as I cradled Stef’s face and looked at her split lip.

  “I’m ok.” She pulled her face out of my hands and took a step back.

  “What the hell is going on?” Prez roared as he came to step in between us all. Both girls stayed quiet and he turned to Stef, waiting for an answer. I put my arm around her and she flinched at my touch and tried to step away again. I would not let her pull away from me, I stepped behind her and wound my arms around her waist.

  “I went to our… Pups room to get ready for bed to find that the door was slightly open. I pushed it open to find her in there, sitting on the floor beside Cooper’s cot, stroking his hand.”

  “How the hell did you get in there? I locked it.”

  “You gave me a key, remember?” She smirked at Stef.

  “Me and Prez are the only ones with keys. I’ve never had another one cut.”

  “Carla.” Prez called out. “Go in my office and see if the spare key to Pups room is in there.”

  Carla hurried out of the bar and down the hallway as Ashlyn grabbed Stef’s hand and led her to a table where she had laid out the first aid kit.

  “Let me clean this up for you,” she told her.

  “What the hell were you doing in there?” I growled at Lottie.

  “I was just checking on Cooper.”

  “I had the baby monitor with me. Hang on a minute why didn’t I hear you in there?”

  “I turned it off once I was in the room. I didn’t want to disturb your game. I can look after him while you manage your club duties. He won’t have to go to a child minder if we were together.”

  “Shit, ow. That hurts.” My head snapped to where Stef was sitting. She was in pain.

  “I want her out. Prez, I want her out of this club. Now!”

  “Honey, it’s not in your office.” Carla announced as she waltzed back into the bar.

  “You stole that key from my office?” Prez accused Lottie.

  “No. Pup gave it to me. To look after Cooper.”

  “Get your shit and get out!” Prez roared.

  “What’s going on? Lottie?” Penny and Missy rushed over to her and hugged her as she cried.

  “She’s out of here. Help her pack her stuff.” Prez told them.

  “Ummm, Prez where is she supposed to go? She has no family. No one to help her.” Penny worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she waited for a response.

  “Not my problem.” He crossed his arms over chest and waited for her to move.

  “Send her to another charter, somewhere far away,” Stef muttered.

  “You sure about that?” I asked as I crouched down on the floor in front of her and placed my hands on her bare legs.

  “Yeah, as long as she is out of here. I’m not cold hearted enough to want her out on the streets.”

  “You can stay at a bed and breakfast in the next town over while we sort out somewhere for you to go.” Prez informed her.

  “Thank you,” she sniffled.

  “It’s not me who you should be thanking,” he stated. Lottie looked at Stef and as she was about to speak Stef turned her back on her as Alan handed her a glass with some brown liquid in it.

  “Thanks.” She smiled up at him as she shot the whole drink back in one and winced at the cut on her lip.

  “Just go,” I told Lottie. She scrambled away with Penny and Missy. “You ok, babe?”

  “Yeah, just tired.” She climbed to her feet and winced, holding onto her side.

  “Do you need to see the doc?”

  “No, I just need to sleep. Thanks for a great night,” she smiled at the girls, hugging each one of them before heading back to our room.

  “I’ll make sure she’s gone.” Prez said, slapping my shoulder as I followed Stef down the hallway. I nodded my head as I pursed my lips together. I checked my watch to see that it was nearing one in the morning. I rubbed my hand over my face, I was exhausted.

  I pushed the door to our bedroom open to find Stef sitting up in bed with Cooper in her arms, feeding him a bottle. I stopped in my tracks and leant against the door frame. Cooper was gazing up at her, his hand was holding onto hers on the bottle as she smiled down at him. I couldn’t stop the huge smile that covered my face at seeing my family. I had never believed in love at first sight before, but that girl knocked me off my feet that night in the club and I would always treasure her.

  Stef

  It had been a week since my fight with Lottie at the clubhouse and I felt much calmer and relaxed knowing that she was now out of this town and out of our lives. I hated feeling insecure in my relationship with Pup and although I knew he would never stray from me, she made me have my doubts.

  “Hey, you.” I glanced up from the bike I was working on to see Pup strolling in through the roller door that I had wide open. The weather was warm today and the sun shone straight inside.

  “Hi.” I smiled climbing to my feet. “Where’s Coop?” He didn’t answer as he palmed my face in his hands and claimed my lips. His kiss was urgent and full of passion. I opened up for him as he nibbled at my lower lip. I dropped the tool I was using on the floor and ripped my disposable gloves off, throwing them onto the floor too.

  “God, I missed you,” he mumbled as he ran kisses up and down my neck. My hair was in a high ponytail making it easier for him.

  “I saw you this morning.” I laughed as I parted his leather cut and ran my hands over his tight black t-shirt, feeling the ridges of his sculpted body. He was slim and toned. I wasn’t a fan of the large bulky men.

  “You are so fucking sexy,” he growled as he popped open the buttons to my blue overalls. He had backed me up against the wall and although I should be telling him to stop as anyone could see us, I just couldn’t find the words.

  “Yes!” I cried out as his hand slipped inside my leggings and pushed two fingers inside of me. I clung onto his shoulders and dropped my head back against the wall with a thud as his thumb pushed on my piercing. My hips started rocking into his hand and I could vaguely hear the sound of a motorbike.

  “Stef?” Someone called out, breaking into my foggy brain.

  “Shit.” I pushed Pup back and quickly popped my buttons back together. I stepped around him as my brother, Evan strolled in.

  “Sis?”

  “Oh, hey. What are you doing here?” His posture changed as soon as he glanced over my shoulder. He crossed his arms over his chest and clenched his jaw tight.

  “Well, you haven’t been home for over two w
eeks and I’ve barely spoken to you. Just checking that you’re ok and not letting dads business run into the ground.”

  “Hey,” Pup went to defend me and I cut him off.

  “I’m fine thank you and my business is doing really well. Lots of profit.”

  “You going to introduce us?” Evan asked, nodding his head at Pup.

  “Pup, this is my brother Rave, President of the Devil Angels MC. Evan this is Pup, my boyfriend, from the Cornish Crusaders.”

  They shook hands and nodded their heads but didn’t exchange any words.

  “So, when are you coming home? Me and…”

  “I’ll be home later, to collect my stuff. I’m moving in with Pup.” Pup moved in closer behind me and placed his hands on my hips. I could feel the bulge in his jeans on my back and I had to try my hardest not to rub myself against him.

  “No, no you’re not.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do. I’m twenty five. You’re not my dad.”

  “Sam told me what happened the other night, what you’ve got yourself involved with.”

  “Since when do you talk to Sam? I thought you didn’t like him?”

  “He came to the club, said he was worried about you.”

  “Yeah and did he also tell you that he grabbed her when they were out and left a massive bruise on her arm?” Pup barked.

  “What?” Evan shouted. “And what did you do about it?” He asked Pup, looking over my head.

  “He did nothing. I asked him not to get involved. I don’t want anything to do with him.” I answered.

  “You’re meant to be protecting her!” He threw his fist against the wall as he glared at Pup.

  “I do not need protecting. I can take care of myself.” I defended. When Evan went to argue with me again I cut him off. “We will come over later to collect my stuff. I’ll see you both then.”

  “We won’t be in tonight. Club party. Take care of yourself.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me in close for a hug. Pup released his grip on me and I wound my arms around my brothers back. “I’ll see you soon,” he whispered in my ear before he let me go and was striding out of sight.