Descension

by Shani Struthers

  Jessica swallowed. “I… Mum, you know what I was like when I was younger – my beliefs.”

  “I know full well what you were like.” There was so much disdain in Sarah’s voice. “You thought yourself superior to everything and everyone; not bound by society or convention. You could do whatever you liked, when you liked. Arrogant. So damned arrogant! You talk of Ruby being a force of nature, but, Jessica, there was none more so than you.”

  A silence ensued – the calm before the storm, thought Ruby, fearing what she was going to hear and yet knowing she had no choice but to sit and listen. She’d travelled too far down this road of discovery to turn back now. As her heart thumped in her chest, Jed materialised in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at her with such a solemn expression but keeping his distance. This was between the three of them, daughter, mother and grandmother – a family affair. Ruby wished she could turn back the hands of time; revert to an age of innocence and blissful ignorance. She’d been like that once, but so long ago it seemed practically another lifetime. But whatever her abilities were, rolling back the years wasn’t one of them.

  Jessica took a deep breath, then without glancing at Ruby or Sarah, but at the wall behind them, she began to speak. “I didn’t buy into commitment, it’s as simple as that.” To Ruby she said, “I didn’t know my father either, but despite that, Mum brought me up to be a strong and confident person, just as she did with you, and I was confident, in my looks and in my personality. The gift I’d inherited fascinated me rather than making me afraid.” She hung her head to stare at her clenched hands. “Mum did a good job, a really good job. She was always so positive, but in me that confidence turned into something else, maybe arrogance, as she’s already pointed out. Maybe it’s a trait I inherited from my absent father, or maybe it’s peculiar to me.”

  “Your father was a good man!” Sarah spat the words at her. “I’ve told you that, over and over, and at least I was telling the truth. He was an older man, quite a bit older, but he wasn’t married; he was single, an academic in the city. He loved me, but I didn’t love him, and therein lay the problem. He would have married me, but it would never have worked out between us. What little he knew of my gift horrified him and so I always kept quiet about it. You can only do that for so long. I ended our relationship, left London and came to Hastings, and that’s when I discovered I was pregnant. Despite the difficulties of being a single mother in those days, I was thrilled. I also had money, Rosamund’s money. The world’s a different place when you’re not destitute, I could buy this cottage and support us both. I did write and tell him about you, but the letter was returned. He’d moved away without leaving a forwarding address, why, I don’t know. I tried to trace him, but it was no use and soon I was preoccupied with a tiny baby to look after. You knew his name, Jessica – Edward Middleton – but you never wanted to know more.” She looked at Ruby then, such a depth of sadness in her faded eyes. “It was only you who wanted to know more. You didn’t want to discuss finding your father with me for fear of upsetting me, but in so many ways Jessica is like an open book, so I knew something of it anyway. Believe me, I hoped and I prayed that Peter Gregory would accept you as his daughter. He’s a policeman though, so I should have known better. Any policeman worth his salt wouldn’t accept a situation at face value, he’d dig deeper.”

  Although Sarah had asked Jessica to confess, she was the one who seemed hell bent on revelation. Edward Middleton – Ruby had the name of her grandfather at least, but still no clue as to the man who’d spawned her.

  “Ruby, I’m so sorry.” Whatever fire had been in Sarah had snuffed itself out. She looked… Ruby tried to find the right word to describe it… defeated.

  Immediately, Ruby reached out. “Gran, I didn’t mean to upset you. You did a fantastic job of raising me too. You’re our rock. We always say that. Without you… we’d be lost.”

  Sarah shook her head, her expression deeply troubled. “Ruby, you can’t afford to lose yourself, nor you, Jessica, you must not succumb again.”

  Jessica grabbed Sarah’s hand. “I won’t. I promise.”

  “You must stand by Ruby, as I’ve stood by you.”

  “Of course, Mum. We all stand together.” Letting Sarah go, Jessica turned to Ruby. “I liked men, that’s not a crime, although so many thought it was back then. It’s normal and it’s natural. Gran is right, I did buck convention and because of it, I met… unconventional men. Your fath… Peter Gregory was the exception rather than the norm.” At this she paused and laughed briefly, a far from happy sound. “It fascinated me how down-to-earth he was; how preoccupied with material matters. There was nothing in the least bit spiritual about him. At first, being with him was a bit of an experiment – I told him nothing about what I could see or sense. We were just a normal couple, or as much as we could be considering he was already married. But you see, here’s the thing; his wife was ill, she had multiple sclerosis and was declining fast. He was a good husband to her, but he was also human; he needed a break from being a carer as well as working in a job that demanded such a lot from him, and that’s what I offered – something light, something frivolous. But things changed. For me, anyway. Yes our relationship was illicit, but he loved his wife. It was so obvious. It was in his eyes, in his voice, and in the way he talked about her. He loved her so much, despite being with me, and yet he was with me – for a short while anyway. And I wanted what she had – for someone to love me that much. With him I craved commitment. But, of course, it wasn’t to be.”

  “His wife had MS?” Ruby gasped. “He never said.” But then why should he? To Peter Gregory, Laura wasn’t an illness; she was his wife, his beloved wife. Remembering the photos she’d seen of her in the conservatory, they were all headshots. If Laura had been in a wheelchair, he hadn’t focused on that, just on her face; her lovely face. It was little wonder his children were so protective of him. It also explained why he’d remained at the rank of constable and took early retirement. He’d given up his integrity with Jessica, but for Laura, he’d sacrificed his career.

  “Mum, did you get pregnant deliberately?”

  “No. But when I found out, I hoped, I prayed he’d leave his wife for me. That’s how selfish I was. I begged him to leave her.”

  “You begged him because you were desperate,” there was anger in Sarah’s voice again. “Because you didn’t want to consider the alternative.”

  “Mum,” Jessica implored, “how do you even know about the alternative?”

  Sarah refused to answer that question. “Just tell us, Jessica, about the other one.”

  There was silence again. Was Jessica going to refuse?

  “Mum,” Ruby said, a desperation in her too. “Who was he?”

  “A one-night stand,” she confessed at last, “that’s all he was, nothing more. Because Peter was married, because his wife was ill, I couldn’t see him as much as I wanted to. Some nights I’d be fine with that, but other nights, well… I’d get angry. One of those times, I went out, not here, not in Hastings, I caught a train to Brighton, where no one knew who Jessica Davis was; where I could find someone to take my mind off the man I couldn’t be with.” She paused. “The trouble is, when you’re on the hunt, you find others that are hunting too.” Tears burst from her eyes and raced down her cheeks. “I honestly didn’t think about any repercussions, I just wanted to… take my mind off Peter. I was so young and… I loved him, I really did love him.”

  Sarah was quietly weeping too, but Ruby was seized by shock – half of her thinking this was a terrible dream, borne of anxiety; that’d she’d wake up and it’d all be fine, just as it was a couple of days ago. Cash would be lying beside her and he’d chase away her fears, laugh at them even. “What was wrong with this man, Mum?”

  Jessica sniffed, wiped her nose roughly with the back of her hand, managing after a while to continue. “As we started to talk, it became obvious he was interested in occult matters, as was I, deeply interested. I told him about me, that I could
see spirits and he was fascinated. He kept questioning me about it, asking the strangest questions. He was also plying me with drink. Despite my growing unease, I was flattered by his interest, stupid, stupid girl that I was. He wasn’t a bad looking man, Ruby. He had an air about him, a charisma. Pretty soon I was drunk. We left the bar and ended up at his place, a tiny little flat in a back street that reeked of cigarettes. I’m not going to go into details, you wouldn’t want me to, but suffice to say as soon as I was sure he was asleep, I grabbed my clothes and fled, then waited at Brighton train station until the trains began running again to Hastings. It was just one night, whereas I’d had so many nights with Peter. I wasn’t lying when I said Peter Gregory was your father, I honestly thought it likely that he was, I hoped, I prayed…”

  “But he’s not,” Ruby said, not needing the proof of any scientific results to know that, feeling it in her bones. “This other man is… this weirdo.”

  There was a pause, then Ruby had to ask; she had to know. “What was his name? Did you even bother to ask?”

  “Ruby, of course I did!”

  “And?”

  “It was Aaron.”

  “Aaron?” Ruby quizzed.

  “That’s right, Aaron Hames.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  At first Ruby thought she was dreaming again, getting everything terribly mixed up, so, so confused. And then the dream slipped away and in its place was a light, but not the light she was used to – warm and comforting, with the promise of peace in it. This was a harsh light, glaring; the light of truth, she supposed – unwanted truth.

  She jumped to her feet and as she did, the chair behind her went crashing to the floor, causing Jed to bark furiously, desperate for her attention. But his efforts were in vain. She had one thing on her mind and one thing only.

  “But Aaron Hames is insane!”

  Jessica scrambled to her feet too. “Ruby, what are you talking about? How do you know he’s insane? How do you even know who he is?”

  “Because Theo and Ness are working with him at Cromer, that’s why. There’s still a building there, not as high profile as Rampton or Broadmoor, but it’s a secure unit for those who suffer from extreme mental illness; who’ve committed criminal acts, who’ve harmed people.” The suicide, oh shit, the suicide, the one Ness had told her about, the staff member that he’d driven to suicide. There must have been others prior to that. How many?

  “It can’t be the same man!” Jessica continued to stare, disbelief written all over her face. “He… he was odd, granted; he made me feel uneasy, but he wasn’t insane! Do you think I’d have gone anywhere near him if he was? It can’t be him. It can’t be!”

  “Aaron Hames is insane.”

  Sarah’s words stopped Jessica in her tracks and caused Ruby’s heart to plummet further. Both turned to look at her. She’d remained sitting, her shoulders sagging, defeat once again overriding anger. Her words came to mind; words uttered just a few minutes before. ‘God knows all I ever wanted was to keep you safe, both of you. You were in danger, you especially, Ruby, and I wanted to protect you.’

  Sarah caught Ruby’s gaze. “I did what I had to do. Always remember that.”

  Jessica darted forwards, pulling out the chair beside Sarah and throwing herself on to it. “What did you do to him?” Once more she grabbed her mother’s hands, but this time with a strength that made Sarah wince. “When did you do it? How? I never told him where I lived, I let him think I was on a day trip down from London.” Her voice rose to a crescendo. “Mum, what did you do?”

  “Just let her speak.” Although able to move her mouth, Ruby couldn’t move her feet; they’d become rooted to the spot. No longer in the doorway, Jed had moved forwards to stand by her, whining occasionally and yelping, as if he didn’t want to listen, as if advising her not to. But it was too late for that. “Gran?”

  “Jessica, Hames found out where you lived after that incident with Saul. When you conjured whatever that thing was, Saul fled, remember? He ran through the streets of St Leonards and Hastings near naked, howling, crying, and hurling rocks at windows and cars, smashing everything in sight. Finally, the police apprehended him. They came, and got him and took him to the cells. It was your name he kept saying, over and over again – Jessica Davis. Your reaction was a little different to his. When you first came home you were wild, you were screaming at me, trying to tell me what you’d done, terrified that what you’d conjured had followed you; marked you.” Sarah glanced at Ruby but didn’t point out what had happened instead; that it had followed her home, but had marked seven-year old Ruby rather than Jessica herself. “You screamed and you shouted but then suddenly you calmed down, and that was even more frightening somehow. You slumped in that chair in the living room, and you just stared and stared, your eyes glazing over. I tried to talk to you, tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t say a word; wouldn’t even look at me. You’d begun to retreat, deep inside yourself, hiding from what you’d seen. I couldn’t reach you; your child couldn’t reach you. You’d locked yourself in a prison of your own making. Of course the newspapers reported Saul’s story. They had a field day with it, part horrified, part amused, exploiting the whole Satanist aspect of it. There was nothing I could do to keep your name from being printed too; it was as much as I could do to persuade doctors I was able to nurse you at home, that I was more than capable; but that’s how Hames found you, because he read the papers; that’s how he tracked you down.” She paused, closing her eyes briefly in anguish. “Whatever happened between you that night, Jessica, clearly he never forgot you, or rather what you discussed, what you told him, about you, and about the occult. And those articles in the paper, they just whetted his appetite further. The first time he knocked on our door, I was busy tending to you. It was Ruby who opened it. He saw her and he knew. After that, he kept calling, wouldn’t leave us alone. He wanted access to his child. I denied it, I said Ruby wasn’t his, but he wouldn’t be deterred.”

  “I opened the door to him?” Ruby was further amazed. “I don’t remember.”

  “It was only the once, and of course you don’t remember, why would you?”

  “I…” She’d opened the door to her father, of all she was hearing, that fact stood out. He’d found her – the hunter. She steeled herself further. “Do I look like him?”

  Sarah held her gaze. “A little, but what’s inside you is nothing like him.”

  What was inside her? How could she be so sure? As Ness had pointed out, no one ever knew what was truly inside someone. People could surprise you – even those you trusted implicitly – Cash for example. With him she’d never have thought… She shook her head. How could this be happening? How?

  “Mum said he wasn’t insane when she met him, but you’re so sure that he is. What did you do to him, Gran, this persistent caller; how did you keep us safe?”

  “Ruby,” Sarah’s voice was shaking slightly as she pulled her hands back from Jessica and lifted one towards her throat to rub at the skin there. “I couldn’t let him anywhere near you. It wasn’t Jessica he was interested in, not when he realised you existed. He did the maths, put two and two together; if Jessica was psychic, if she’d told him in her drunkenness that it was a matriarchal gift, then it followed you were psychic too.” She hung her head. “What an unexpected prize you were! An innocent he could manipulate, that he could corrupt.” Lifting her head and looking at Ruby, she continued. “I know when a soul is twisted; when a man revels in being that way; when he doesn’t want to turn back on the road to redemption; when all he wants is to venture further. Hames was an ambitious man, he wasn’t going to go away. I had to shadow you everywhere you went – be at the school gates at least fifteen minutes early; inform the teachers that there were ‘ father issues’ and to never let you go home with anyone but me. I couldn’t even let you go to your friends’ houses for tea in case he was watching and tried to get to you that way. The last time he came to the house you were in bed and your mother was asleep too. T
he threats were getting worse. He meant to snatch you; it was just a matter of time. I had to pit my wits against his. I tried to slam the door on him, but his foot was in the way. He pushed his way into my house, defiled it with his presence. He went upstairs to where you lay sleeping; despite my begging and my pleading, he pushed open the door and once again you were marked, Ruby. He stood there and he marked you. And then he laughed, a sound that still haunts me, and in my mind’s eye I saw it: what he planned to do. You’re psychic, although I told him so many times you weren’t, and I think he had abilities too – primitive and underdeveloped abilities, to his eternal frustration. He would use your gift to blacken his soul further; he’d disappear with you and once gone, we’d never be able to find you, not alive anyway. Like a leech, he’d suck you dry. After he left, I was panic-stricken. Bolting the door, I formed a plan of my own. Upstairs, in my bureau, I retrieved my mother’s work, her darkest work.”

  Again she paused while Ruby, Jessica and even Jed gazed at her open-mouthed.

  “I’ve destroyed those papers since, so don’t think you’ll ever be able to find them. But I was grateful for them then. Even now, I’m grateful. I don’t regret what I did. I’m not going to go into details either, but considering what you’ve both experienced in the past, I think you’ll get the gist well enough. I pictured him walking away, and in his wake I sent as many negative entities as I could muster – those that languish in the ‘dumping grounds’ as Rosamund called them, but which are always there, just beyond the veil, waiting for someone to summon them; to make sense of them; to set them to work. And that’s the thing – they’re not hard to conjure, these demons for want of a better word; they’re always alert; always so eager to wreak havoc. I sent them after him and I ordered them to addle his mind – to confuse and bewilder him; basically to consume him. I fed Aaron Hames to them. I never knew what damage they’d wrought, but he didn’t come calling again. If the man Theo and Ness are dealing with is indeed him, then clearly it was considerable.”