A bald, six-foot-tall man held his hand out to greet her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Major. I heard from Tom that you were going to pay me a visit soon.” His smile induced his crow’s feet, which added years to his looks.
She cut him a quick smile. Why do these guys grow a patch of hair on their chin and think it looks cool? Perhaps it does, who am I to judge?
“Okay, let’s get you measured and set up with a temporary prosthetic.” He turned and walked over to a bench. “Has Carrie told you anything about what we do?”
She wanted to smile, she really did, but her ego wasn’t about to let her down. “Only that I’ll probably go through a variety of legs while I’m here. She mentioned I’ll be able to order a lightweight limb for when I go home.” The antiseptic smell made her feel nauseous. It was so sterile and unpleasant, not that that was a bad thing, but she was just so sick of not having a homely surrounding, or normality at hand.
He tilted his head sideways and gave her a cheeky wink. “Yes, you can. But for now you’ll have to make do with a bog standard one, until we know your exact size. If you’re able to use the suction suspension system for the coupling, once your new leg arrives you’ll be able to use it while recovering. All we’d need to do is take a new mould of your stump every week or so, to make sure the coupling’s still the correct size. Today, I need to take a look at your limb to see what kind of system is suitable for you.”
Hoping she’d be able to have the suspension system, she sat upright in her chair.
Stan patted the bench. “On you go.”
She slid on to the bench. “You’re going to have to pull the curtains. My daughter made these trousers. The left leg’s been sewn up. She was worried about my stump getting cold.”
Carrie’s steady gaze showed intrigue, her eyebrows raised and her lips parted and turned into a radiant smile. “That’s very thoughtful of her.” She pulled the curtain around the bench. “I bet it’s fantastic having a daughter. I’d love someone to shop with. My boys are just interested in video games and rugby.”
“I’m sure Jess would want to go with you.”
“That would be nice. Okay, if you support yourself on your elbows, I’ll pull your trouser leg down.”
Jackie did as she was asked. “Ouch.” She flinched as Carrie pushed on a tender spot.
Her light tone disappeared, replaced with one of concern. “I’m sorry, Jackie, there’s a couple of inflamed patches. I’m going to have to call a doctor to come and see you.” She patted Jackie’s other leg. “On a brighter note, your stitches look good, they’ll be ready to come out soon.”
Jackie clamped her hands at the back of her neck and closed her eyes as a restlessness engulfed her. “What will the doctor say? I don’t want anything to slow down the process.”
Stan turned his back while Carrie saw to Jackie’s needs. She knelt and helped her pull her trousers up. “They’ll prescribe some cream and a course of antibiotics.”
“As for holding up the use of your first leg…it’s going to take us at least a week to mould you and get the suspension cup made,” Stan informed her.
Carrie placed her hand on Jackie’s shoulder, her fingers lightly touching her. “With everything you want to do, I suggest a multi-axis. It has a gumball in it that acts as your ankle bone, giving you more movement.”
“You’re an active person?” Stan asked.
“Yes, I love martial arts.” Jackie sat upright. “Will I be able to do that with a multi-axis?”
“That and more.” He reached for the measuring tape. “Okay, let’s get you measured and moulded for your first suspension cup. I’m sure Carrie has more plans for you once we’re finished here.” He measured the circumference of her leg and the depth of her stump, then patted her arm. “Okay, let’s get you over to the wall where the height chart is. Carrie and I will help you stand on one leg. Then I need to measure your right leg from hip to heel.”
“Okay.” Jackie moved closer to the end of the bench.
“This is going to be a little daunting, so don’t panic. We won’t let you fall,” he reassured her.
Jackie wheeled herself over to the height chart, where Stan took hold of her hands and pulled her into a standing position, then adjusted his posture and used his arms to hook under hers. “Okay, let me do all the work.”
Jackie inhaled when he swivelled her to stand sideways to the chart. “Carrie, can you take over while I get her height?”
Jackie held her breath as Carrie’s warm body stepped up behind her. She felt at ease, as though she could just relax and fall back into Carrie’s arms and it would be okay. She smells so good. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but it sure as hell wasn’t fright or fear. She looked down at the delicate silver watch on Carrie’s arm, a focus point until she released her.
Carrie spoke softly into her ear. “We’re nearly done, Jackie.”
I like her warm breath on me. What’s that about? “Okay,” she replied, taking a deep breath. “Please, call me Jack.”
“Okay, we’re done for today,” Stan informed her. “Here’s a brochure that’ll describe all the multi-axis prosthetics, and tell you what you can achieve with each one. Talk it over with Carrie, and let me know when you’ve decided which one, or ones, you’d like to try out.”
•••
Jackie sat on the treatment bench in Carrie’s office and stared at her reflection in the mirror on the wall. A wave of memories surged through her: A red poppy pinned to her starched, pressed uniform made her feel proud that she’d been given the duty to protect her country. Only two days before that, she had witnessed the brains of a young soldier blown to pieces during combat in Afghanistan. It was a sickening event, one she hoped she’d be able to forget over time, but every now and then the memory of this soldier would surface, a reminder that she was still alive.
“Are we finished?” she asked, surprised.
“What do you mean? I took you through the exercises you learned last week, and added five more. Why are you surprised to be finishing?”
“It’s just I’m not in pain like I was last week.”
Carrie sat at her desk and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “I think you’ve done enough for now.”
“In that case I’ll get out of your way.” She slipped into her chair.
“I’ll see you on Wednesday, Jack.”
Jackie didn’t miss a beat. “What about tomorrow’s session?”
“I’m sorry, but I have an appointment. Barbara’s covering for me.”
Jackie broke eye contact and lowered her head. “I suppose I can put up with Barbara for a day.”
Showing a playful pouty mouth, Carrie stood and walked over to her. “How about I come play visitor tomorrow afternoon? We can catch up properly without any interruptions.”
“I’d like that.”
Got to Table of Contents
Chapter Four
Pain radiated from Jackie’s body after her session with Bubba. That bitch annoys the snot out of me.
Jackie’s mind breathed a sigh of relief when Laura entered the room bang on time to take her away from the madness. As Laura opened the door for them to leave, she looked back at Bubba to see her standing with her hands on her hips, and her mouth closed so tight it created a thin, taut seam across her face.
“Did you scare off your new therapist?” Laura asked, as they made their way along the hallway.
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Thankfully, today was a one off. She’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Let’s get you changed, then down to the sauna. I’ll call your trainer at the gym and tell him not to expect you today.”
•••
Feeling the warmth from the steam on her, Jackie closed her eyes, and her mind took her back to when Carrie’s body was pressed against her. Why did it feel so good to have her touch me? She opened her eyes quickly and checked she was still alone. Christ, I can’t believe I just thought that! What if I’d said it out loud, someone could have he
ard me? Pull yourself together, Holmes.
Her body ached from her recent session, as if she’d been hit by a truck. It hurt to move, even if it was just to wipe the sweat pouring from her forehead. Again she closed her eyes, and the first thought to come to her was of a woman she used to date before she’d met Dave. Alex White! I haven’t thought about you in years. The heat made her sleepy, and for a few minutes she actually managed to drift off, until Laura opened the door at the same time as the buzzer went off.
“How are you feeling now?”
“Every damn thing hurts. I just need some relief from this pain.”
“Okay, let me take you back to your room and then I’ll discuss with the doctor whether to prescribe you a muscle relaxant.” She helped Jackie into her chair.
“Is there another way? I don’t want to be jacked up on pain meds.”
“I’ll talk to the doctor about it when he makes his rounds, see what can be done. But in the meantime, let’s get you back to your room.”
“Does no one ever ask that bitch why she has to be so hard on everyone.”
•••
Jackie sat herself on the edge of the bed. Thinking that a few stretches might help, she placed her hands behind her back and stretched her right leg out as far as it would go. She raised, then lowered it, while pointing her toes to the floor. It hurt like hell, and she cried out.
Unbeknownst to her, Carrie was just outside the door, and hearing her cry, she rushed into the room. She stood by Jackie’s side and leaned in close, checking to see what the problem was.
“You’re sweating!” she said, reaching for a towel. Then she knelt and patted Jackie’s arms and face, her contact gentle and caring.
Beads of sweat as salty as tears invaded Jackie’s eyes as it worked its way over the glossy sheen on her forehead. Her hair clung to her scalp, and droplets developed over her top lip—she could feel them, tickling, as she tried to ignore them.
“Bubba pushed me too hard today. I seriously think she’s trying to kill me.”
The lines on Carrie’s face curved into a look of happiness as her eyebrows wiggled, and she snorted a laugh. “Well, I hope you don’t have a nickname like that for me.” She looked up at Jackie, her blue eyes like pools of crystals, her pale pink lips innocently parted, asking to be kissed.
I can smell the scent of her hair, Jasmine and coconut. It suits her. She’s delicate, compassionate. She smiles at me; I don’t see her smile like that at anyone else. Why does she draw me to her? I want to brush my hand over her rose coloured cheeks, and stroke her silky blonde hair. Would she be so offended if I were to plant a kiss on that sweet button nose?
Carrie stood and threw the towel into the washing basket, then opened the window to allow the warm summer breeze to flow through. “She’s a bit of a tough nut to crack. Where do you hurt?”
“My back and legs are in agony. Laura’s gone to ask about a muscle relaxant, but I don’t want to resort to drugs.”
The contours of Carrie’s face were a perfect work of art, pleasantly formed, as though she’d been traced from a Victorian painting. She folded her arms and gazed at Jackie with a look of concern. “How about I give you a sports massage, it might help to relax those muscles?”
“But you’re not supposed to be working today, Carrie.”
Carrie glanced around the room, flitting a look at Jackie in the process, then gave a sigh of satisfaction as she spotted a bottle of oil. “If I can help relieve your pain, I will. Now, sit back, while I rub some oil on my hands.”
When Laura walked into the room, it took her a few seconds before she realised Carrie was at the foot of the bed, massaging Jackie. “Oh? I didn’t realise you were working today.”
Carrie raised her eyes to connect with Laura’s. “I’m not, officially. Today, I’m visiting an old acquaintance. We used to go to the same school, and hadn’t seen each other for years.”
Laura’s stride was light as she walked further into the room; standing behind Carrie, she said to Jackie, “I’ve just spoken to the doctor; he’s filling a prescription for the muscle relaxant.”
“Carrie’s giving me a sports massage. I want to see if it works before I take any drugs.”
Laura shook her head. “I could have done that for you.”
“It really isn’t any bother,” Carrie chimed in.
“Thanks, if the massage doesn’t work, just give me a shout and I’ll bring the muscle relaxant.” Laura turned on her heel and left.
Jackie closed her eyes with the first touch of Carrie’s hands on her arm. It was like sensual intoxication. I can feel the heat rushing over my face. She must be able to see it, red and pathetic. She must think I’m an idiot, I bet she does. She’s probably staring at my face right now, poking her tongue at me, while I’m susceptible to the softness of her hands. I bet she kisses like that too, soft and slow, prolonging the moment. God, now she’s made my heart flutter.
Carrie added a little pressure, it wasn’t too hard, just enough to help ease the aches. “You don’t have any books to read I see.”
Jackie whipped her eyes open. “No. I mean, I do, but they’re on my tablet.” Her face felt hotter than before. Now she really knew Carrie could see it. Shit! Her muscles began to relax. “That feels good.”
“I told you it would help,” Carrie answered. Her minty breath wafted beneath Jackie’s nostrils, and as she moved back and wiped her hands on the towel, she slowly brought her gaze level with her patient’s.
A shiver ran through Jackie’s body, delicately wakening her arousal, causing her to tremble. Fireworks. I can hear fireworks in my head. I want to kiss her, but then I don’t. I would lose myself if I dedicated my lips to hers, and what if it led to something further? The risk, the consequence. I have to forgo my thoughts and remember I am a married woman, and she is my therapist.
Tilting her head to one side, Carrie crossed her legs, then looked to the open window. She breathed in deep, as the fresh afternoon air brought serenity into the room. “I don’t think I’ll let Barbara give you physio anymore, if this is what it does to you.”
“Is that a promise?”
Carrie nodded. “Definitely. So what do you want to do today?”
“I’d like to talk.”
“No problem. Are you comfortable sitting there?”
“This is fine.”
Traces of her youthfulness lingered in Carrie’s smile as she stood and walked over to the window. She turned and rested against the set of drawers in front of it. “So, apart from your stellar army career, what else have you been up to?”
My life, now there’s a thought. “My life’s been dedicated to my job and to my family, to be honest with you. Ben and Jess are great, and my parents have been supportive.” I can’t really say the same for Dave. “I married Dave just after I turned nineteen. It was good for the first few years, but then we kind of settled. I’d be away on a tour of duty, and when I’d return it was as if we were total strangers. But that’s to be expected, right? I mean, look at me, or rather don’t, because my husband can’t either. He’s hardly made any effort to visit me since…” She looked down at her limb, then raised her eyes to meet with Carrie’s gaze. “But then, why would he want this? It’s disgusting.” She glanced away from Carrie’s sympathetic eyes. “We’ve had a lot of bitter arguments. Nothing like the usual crap a couple would argue over. He has issues with my past; before I met him, there was somebody else.”
Carrie looked down at her feet, as if she was sensing Jackie’s dilemma to a certain degree, feeling her emotional pain. “Perhaps he needs to speak to one of the counsellors?”
“He already has. Something’s bothering him, he’s so different. I think he and Ben are fighting more. They’ve always had a love hate relationship, but it’s become worse since Ben hit puberty.”
“He fights with your son?”
“All the damn time.” Jackie let out a soft, gentle sigh, while her gaze remained fixed on the grey tiled flooring. “Ben’s a lot
like I was at fifteen, and doesn’t suffer fools easily. He always stands up and speaks out when he thinks something’s wrong.
“He’d always said he loved Ben and Jess equally, but it never seemed to be the case. Whenever they were alone they seemed to have some sort of dispute, which added to my worries whenever I was deployed. It made it hard, you know. There I was, in command of soldiers ready to die to protect their country, yet my husband couldn’t even manage to spend one single day without causing a rift in the family.”
“I bet that made it hard for you while overseas?”
“Ben always went to stay with my parents when I was deployed. That way I didn’t spend my whole tour worrying about him.” Suddenly, her thoughts were swept away to a young boy they’d encountered in Bosnia:
Jackie and her team trod carefully, scanning every war-torn building ahead. Rubble covered the streets of what seemed to be a ghost town. They held their guns ready to fire, but a faint cry, the cry of a child, caused them to stop. They listened.
“Over there,” Davis said, pointing to a building with no roof. They reached the house and secured the area before entering. Davis entered first, then Jackie. In a small alcove in the kitchen they found a young boy, around six or seven years old. Jackie crouched and held her hand out for the child to take. He whimpered and covered his face with his hands. A short while later, she carried him out in her arms. His sobs still echoed in her ears today.
“It takes a very strong person to forgive, it’s not a weakness, so perhaps you should re-address the issues with your husband. And from what I can tell, you’re very close to your children.”
Jackie held a lot of bitterness towards her husband, and his recent lack of support just reinforced her argument. She’d never claimed to be innocent in their relationship’s demise, but to her, he was the wrong doer, and the reason for so much of the negativity. “We’re really close, but for some reason, Ben won’t talk to me about it.”
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