Dead Aware

by Eleanor Merry

  Turning back to her computer, Rachel stared at it for a few moments, letting her mind catch up with it.

  This woman’s HGC levels were through the roof. She is pregnant!

  Clara sat in the MRI chamber, wondering what was happening. Was this when they would come in and take her and torture her? Worried, she found herself touching the picture in her pocket again for reassurance. If that happened, she would never find out who the man was. Her eyes burned with tears she didn’t know how to shed as she thought of him. It was like the memory of his face was imprinted on her soul in such a way to make her feel comforted with his image alone.

  After a few minutes the door opened and Rachel walked back in; Clara immediately noticed the strange expression on her face. She wasn’t looking at Clara like a zombie or a threat. In fact, she was looking at her like she would another uninfected human. And she looked worried.

  Clearing her throat, she looked Clara in the eyes.

  “I know you can understand me,” Rachel started. “I know you are afraid, but I won’t tell them. I am a scientist. A doctor. I want to help you, and others like you.” She filled her voice with as much sincerity as possible, and despite herself Clara found that she believed it.

  “I don’t know if you can talk already, but I think you will be able to. I can maybe help you with that later, but for now, can you please, please nod or say something if you understand me?” Rachel pleaded.

  For several minutes neither of them moved, a standoff-style staring contest. Although she knew it might be the wrong choice, Clara gave the slightest of nods to indicate she understood, not wanting to give away her speaking ability quite yet. At this, Rachel sighed as her whole body seemed to deflate.

  “I knew it,” Rachel gloated excitedly. “I totally told them so!” Without thinking about it, she did a tiny jig right there in the MRI room, much to Clara’s astonishment.

  Looking up, Rachel barked out a small laugh at Clara’s expression before stifling it and pulling herself together. With a lot more seriousness, she looked Clara in the eyes. “We really need to talk.”

  Clara looked at her with apprehension and interest.

  Sighing again, she spit it out.

  “I was running some tests while you were in there. I don’t know who you were before…I mean…before you died…you were pregnant. You still are, even though you died, otherwise the levels of HGC would have dropped by now,” Rachel attempted to explain, not realizing that after the word ‘pregnant’ Clara had stopped listening.

  Even with her slower brain, this word immediately resonated with Clara and brought back an immediate rush of emotions and memories. Pregnant. Home. Her eyes widened and without thinking about it, one word slipped out of her mouth.

  “Max.”

  CHAPTER 16

  After a small bump where Sue hit Jay with a bat when she thought he was going to bite Lucy, they all managed to settle in relatively well. For the first few hours, Sue watched them both with unease, but surprised even herself at her own comfort level with the two zombies who now occupied her home. She was a person who prided herself on her instincts, and despite her first reaction of terror, her gut felt as though she could trust them. She even pulled out a few steaks that were nearly frozen for the two of them, much to Max’s delight.

  Lucy and Chip were immediately attracted to Jay and his silly, brainless demeanor. He smiled at the children, let them show him toys, poke him and just laugh at his confused expressions. Every time they laughed, Jay would grin and his eyes would light up. While Sue still seemed on edge, she loved seeing her children smile and laugh for the first time since they had holed away in their home.

  While Jay and the children played, Max decided to ask Sue some questions.

  “Sue…maybe help me?” he asked her. Surprised that a zombie would need her help, she agreed to help if she was able.

  “Max and Jay go to Vancouver.”

  “Vancouver!” Sue exclaimed. “That is on the other side of the country! Why are you going there?”

  Max pulled out his wallet, showing her the picture of him and Clara.

  “I go to Clara.”

  Sue held out her hand and Max handed her the wallet. She held it in her lap and stared at it for a few minutes before handing it back. When she looked up, tears lined her eyes.

  “You are trying to find your wife,” she said, simply. Max nodded.

  She was his Clara, not his wife. But he understood what Sue was trying to say. Still, he didn’t understand the tears in her eyes and pointed at them by way of question.

  Sue chuckled in response, wiping the stray tear from the corner of her eye.

  “I was always a sucker for a love story. Never thought I’d cry at a zombie romance, though.”

  Standing up, she walked back through the house and returned a moment later with a photo of her own. Handing it to Max, she sat down again, this time beside him.

  “This was my husband. He died two years ago, before all of this.” Max stared at the photo of the family in his hands. Both Lucy and Chip were considerably smaller, he noticed. And Sue looked much…brighter.

  Thinking of Clara, he felt bright too. Max handed the photo back and smiled at Sue.

  “Sue does understand! Max and Jay go find Clara.”

  “Yes, I understand, Max.” Sue smiled before her face dropped slightly. “I do understand, Max, but it’s just me and the kids. I can't leave to help you. But if there is another way I can help, I will. We have time before the rain stops. Let me think for a while, okay?” Taking the picture back, she did what no other mother had ever done before her: she left her children to play with some zombies while she tried to figure out how to get them across the country.

  “Can you do this, Jay?” Chip chirped, as he stuck his tongue out and touched his nose.

  Jay watched the boy intently before sticking his tongue out. “Blehhh.” He tried, his tongue staying flat.

  Chip seemed to find this hilarious, while Lucy ignored them both as she painted Jay’s nails a particularly vivid shade of pink. Jay didn’t seem to mind and in fact seemed to enjoy the small girl fussing over him.

  Standing over them, Max watched the interactions and found himself glad that Jay was able to not only handle, but excel at, being around children, despite the smell he knew must be tempting him.

  It had been almost a week since Jay had turned and he still hadn’t really improved insofar as his ability to speak, although he obviously understood to a reasonable degree. Max wondered if he was just a fluke since all the other infected he had encountered so far had been more like Jay than himself. None had spoken like him. As his mind wandered down this path it stumbled upon Clara, and he wondered what he would find when he returned home. Will she be like me?

  CHAPTER 17

  Rachel had been in virology for almost ten years. She was an incredibly logical person, and despite having gone through medical school, she went the route of a researcher instead of a practitioner. The moral and ethical dilemmas that came with dealing with people were something she simply didn't care to deal with; viruses didn't discriminate. They were straightforward and easy to understand.

  Although she had already altered the records to keep this secret for now, she didn't know what to do with the information. To turn Clara over to Wolfe or his men was paramount to killing her and her baby.

  Oh god, she thought to herself. I am talking about trying to save a zombie baby, for chrissakes!

  Even though Rachel had suspected they had the ability to speak, hearing a name come from this infected woman's lips still surprised her.

  Before Rachel could react to hearing the name, Clara pulled something out of her robe pocket and brought it to her lap.

  Immediately Rachel leaned over and was shocked even further to see what she held.

  It was a photo. Even more importantly, it was of the woman in front of her, obviously some time before she turned.

  "Is that Max?" Rachel asked softly.

  For a second, C
lara didn't respond.

  Until a moment before, she hadn't remembered his name. The memories of him, of them together, raced through her mind. A small part of her felt guilt that she had forgotten him, but she quickly pushed that out of her mind.

  "Yes." Clara finally replied simply.

  Unsure of what else to say, Rachel waited.

  "This Max. Home." She handed the photo over to Rachel, who took it despite the bits of dirt and god knows what else on it. Looking up at Rachel for clarification, she asked a simple question.

  "Baby?"

  Rachel looked at the photo a moment longer before handing it back to Clara. "Yes. Inside you there is a baby."

  Clara intuitively picked up the words that hadn't been said and asked another question.

  "Men…Bad men take baby?" She held her hand over her stomach protectively.

  "I won’t tell them but…. I'm sorry, I just don't know...."

  After confirming the records of the pregnancy were all completely eradicated and modified to reflect what she thought appropriate, she had gone to speak with Wolfe, one on one, about the report she had made earlier in the week. While she couldn’t use her most recent findings, she hoped to improve the treatment of the infected while she made a plan for Clara.

  “What do you mean you knew they could speak!” Rachel shouted at Captain Wolfe, her voice shrill, even to her own ears. He sat across the desk from her with a look that told her he would rather be anywhere but there talking to her.

  He leaned forward, tightening his eyes.

  “In Seattle, there were a number of zombies who showed heightened intelligence. It makes no difference though, as they all still attacked my men,” he responded. “I do NOT give a shit how smart they are or not.”

  “Then why have you been letting me study them this whole time?”

  “Because it keeps you busy and not bothering me. Like now.”

  “Who attacked first, Captain?” Rachel spat tersely. “Did even one of them attack your men first or did you ever consider they were responding the way any person would, by defending themselves?” At this, Wolfe laughed freely.

  “People?” he said, still laughing. “They are fucking zombies!” he finished, shouting as he stood up.

  “Listen, Dr. Samborski. And listen closely,” Wolfe continued, standing over her. “You are only here for show. Your teams, your research, none of it matters anymore. There won’t be a cure. No magic solution. My job is to keep us safe and kill anyone who stands in the way of civilized, healthy people.”

  Rachel immediately understood the implied threat and her eyes narrowed. Wolfe walked back around to his desk and sat down.

  “I suggest you decide quickly which side you are on,” he continued, watching her closely for a reaction.

  “Smith,” he yelled to a soldier standing outside the room, “escort Doctor Samborski back to her lab.”

  Rather than return to her lab, where she knew her co-workers would be back by now, Rachel decided to go to her bunk. As one of the few women who wasn't a soldier, she was afforded the luxury of a private area. It seemed to her like she had been sleeping in her lab mostly anyways, but in times like this she was grateful for the privacy.

  The revelations of the past few hours whirled through her head as she started to formulate a plan. It wasn’t a good plan, but it seemed like there would be no such thing in the world of FIRE.

  CHAPTER 18

  Sue came back to the den and smiled as she watched her children encourage Jay to make funny faces. There was so little to laugh at these days, even before the virus hit.

  After her husband’s death, Sue had been left with a small business and two children under ten. As an immigrant, a business owner, a mother, and now a widow, life had not been easy. Despite the odds stacked against her, she had somehow come out of it on top. Her children were well adjusted, smart, and well fed. The shop, while not thriving, supported them well enough, even in one of the most expensive cities in the country. Something had been missing for a long time though, and coming out of her bedroom she realized what it was.

  Laughter. Joy.

  While they had gotten by, the children hadn't truly been carefree in years and she knew that a large part of that was due to her playing the role of both parents. Sue knew that performing both roles meant she needed to be twice as hard, twice as disciplined. Seeing Chip and Lucy giggling with Jay, as Max looked over them all with a fond look on his face, she felt something she hadn't in a long time. A sense of family.

  Clearing her throat, she made the room aware of her entrance. Both Chip and Lucy immediately turned towards their mother, but Jay took a moment longer, stuck mid-silly face. By his unsurprised face and posture, Sue guessed Max had already been aware of her presence.

  "I think maybe it’s time for dinner," Sue announced before flushing deeply and realizing she was about to face another circumstance a mother likely hadn't prior to this day. She was offering to feed two zombies dinner.

  As though reading her train of thought, Max smiled kindly at her.

  "I help make. Jay watch kids." He looked down at the trio, goofing around on the floor together. “Well, they watch each other at least.”

  Sue nodded in agreement and together they walked towards the kitchen, both lost in their own thoughts on how to navigate this next chapter.

  Before entering the familiar space, she walked over to the door leading to the front of the store and put her ear towards it. After a moment, she nodded to herself and walked back to the kitchen. Max watched this with interest before finally asking a question that had been plaguing him for awhile.

  "What happen out there? Not in here?" He pointed at the door. While there were some words missing, Max was quite good by now at making his intent known, and Sue understood the question he was trying to ask. What had happened and how they had stayed safe and undetected back here.

  Taking advantage of the distraction, Sue filled a pot with water and placed it on top of a small kerosene burner that had been set on the counter. She gathered her thoughts for a moment and started her story.

  "When the news reports came out, I pulled the children from school right away. Where we come from, Japan, there are lots of people, and disease spreads fast, so I suppose it was a carryover of my own upbringing."

  Max nodded in understanding and interrupted briefly, pointing at what she was doing. "I help?"

  Sue shook her head as she continued. "A few days later when the reports said the virus had hit New York, I closed the store and moved the most important things, like non-perishable food, back here. There is an old crawlspace in the bedroom; I hid most of the food back there that didn’t need to be kept cold. We stayed quiet and listened to the broadcasts, just waiting for news. Honestly, the waiting was the worst part. The electricity went out and has flickered on and off a few times. When we heard the front door crash open, we all hid in the crawlspace. There was an awful commotion. We could hear it even from back there. The door lock has been broken for a long time and I remember kicking myself for not fixing it sooner. No one ever came into the house, but when the noises stopped I still waited."

  She poured some noodles into the now boiling water.

  "Lucy was terrified. It took a long time to get her to calm down. Finally, I left them hiding and came out to check by myself.” She smiled to herself. “Chip was so brave. Told me he would look after Lucy and take good care of her even though I told them I would only be a few minutes. He is such a good boy….”

  Getting back on her train of thought, she continued. “The store was a mess, but we were safe. When you came it was a few days later, and we heard the noises again we hid until we thought you were gone, but when the door opened to the apartment we didn't have time to get to the crawlspace. We hid in the closet and, well…you know the rest." Sue smiled warily at him as she tried to think of how to ask her next question.

  "Max, I am making the children pasta. The steaks I pulled out earlier should be almost thawed. I can’t help but
wonder, though, what else can you eat? Other than the obvious, of course." A small twinkle in her eyes gave away the attempt at humor and Max smiled mirthlessly even though his mind was overridden with guilt.

  This poor family shouldn’t have to worry about feeding us, he thought to himself. His stomach, however, disagreed and growled loudly, causing Sue to giggle. The tension was broken.

  Max thought about her question for a moment, not quite sure how to answer. He knew that people smelled good, but he had also eaten food that he had found in the hotel room after he first turned, though he couldn’t remember what it was anymore. Max did remember that it hadn’t been very satisfying and couldn’t recall smelling anything that tempted him as much as human flesh. He hadn’t really been exposed to much else, other than the junk food Jay had tried to eat before he died.

  Deciding to find out more, for his own benefit as well as Jay’s, he leaned across the kitchen towards the place Sue had left the steaks out and inhaled deeply. While it was much fainter than a living person or even a corpse, a hint of that same tantalizing Smell wafted up from the meat.

  Sue watched this with interest.

  “This smell good,” Max finally replied before realizing that didn’t really answer her question. “Don’t know what else to eat. Not want hurt people, but there is…Smell. Smell make us want eat.”

  Sue nodded along, thinking she understood.

  “You’re saying people smell like something you want to eat, is that right?” Sue asked delicately, trying to keep any judgement out of her voice. Max nodded miserably.

  “But you say this meat smells good to you too, right? Maybe it isn’t people you need, just meat,” she speculated. “Or maybe…” Sue stopped mid-sentence and went over to a cupboard and pulled out a small brown jar before opening it and holding it out for Max.