Dead Aware

by Eleanor Merry

  He walked over and sniffed at it, and much to his surprise, a hint of The Smell came from there as well, even though whatever was in the jar certainly didn’t look like meat.

  “That smell okay!” Max exclaimed, the shock evident in his voice

  “I think I have an idea, Max.” She grinned brightly. “Lucy won’t eat any meat except fish, so I’ve had to get creative with feeding her protein. Let’s try one more.”

  Sue grinned at this and pulled out a small can, opened it, and held it out for Max again.

  He sniffed at this too, but this time crinkled his nose slightly. Even with the diminished sense of smell he could clearly distinguish that scent. Sue laughed openly at this.

  “Not many people like the smell of sardines; don’t worry. Does it have that other smell, though?” Max nodded in response.

  “Max, I don’t think you need to eat people, or even meat. I think the smell you are talking about is somehow connected to protein.”

  Max stared at Sue quizzically, not quite sure he understood what she meant.

  “All the things you’ve said have that smell have one thing in common. They are all different sources of protein. I’m no scientist of course, but maybe there is something about…fresher that makes it more appealing. That might explain why many of your kind that aren’t so smart are so aggressive towards people. But many things have protein that aren’t meat. Peanut butter, fish, beans, tofu….” Sue trailed off and laughed, clutching her stomach. Max watched her with a confused look on his face as she continued laughing, seeming to let out years worth of laughter. A moment later Chip popped his head into the room, wondering what was wrong with his mother.

  “Mom, what’s so funny?” Chip inquired, watching the tears of laughter that now ran down her face. He frowned a bit at this. He hadn’t seen his mother laugh like this since before his dad died.

  “Mom?”

  Finally, Sue’s laughs turned into hiccups and giggles. She wiped the tears off her face as her chuckles finally trailed off.

  “Tofu zombies,” she finally responded, still snorting.

  Chip shook his head at his mother's oddness and went back to the den. Max just looked at her with shock, completely unsure of what had just happened. Memory recovered or not, the hilarity she had shown was an emotion Max didn’t think he had felt since waking up. He then recalled dancing in the rain with Jay and smiled thinking maybe he did understand.

  Sue turned to her cupboard and started looking through it as she addressed Max again. “What do you say we test this theory a bit more before we send you on your way?”

  While Sue prepared the rest of the dinner, Max went to check on Jay and the children after noticing how quiet the den had gotten. On entering the empty room, he heard quiet voices coming from down the hall.

  Pushing open the door, Max was greeted by a heartwarming scene.

  The three were sitting on the floor in what looked like it must be Chip’s room based on the spaceship models and cars littering the floor. Lucy lay on the floor, head in her hands, looking up at her brother and Jay while Chip was reading the other two a story.

  Jay sat beside the Chip, watching the book in his hands intently. Jay was completely mesmerized by the boy’s words. Max stood in the doorway and smiled at the domestic scene.

  “And then Tommy went up, up, up to his treefort....”

  A creak in the floor beneath Max caused Chip to pause and look up, grinning at him.

  “I’m teaching Jay how to read!” Chip declared proudly.

  “And me!” Lucy cried quickly as she turned around to see who she was informing of this important fact. “Oh, hi Max!” She jumped up and rushed over to him. “Is our dinner ready yet?”

  Max looked down at the small girl and smiled fondly.

  ‘Mom says wash hands. Go table.”

  Chip looked over at Jay as he stood up, offering his hand out to the less coordinated teen. Jay didn’t hesitate and stood up, watching Chip intently, waiting for a clue as to what to do next.

  “Come on, Jay. Mom says we gotta wash our hands. We can finish the book after dinner.” Without waiting for a reaction, he pulled Jay by the hand out of the room.

  Max stayed a moment longer, thinking again how sweet Jay was with all the children they had met so far. While his immediate reaction to smelling people tended to be a bit aggressive, he had maintained enough of himself to still care for the small and weak. Suddenly, Max remembered one of the conversations they had in the room before Jay had died.

  Jay coughed and spat over the side of the bed away from Max before sitting back against the headboard.

  “I wish I knew what happened to Dawn,” Jay finally sighed, obviously lamenting more in his past, as he had been for most of the day. Max recalled the little girl he had mentioned before who lived in the house beside him.

  “I told you I left after my parents died…I shoulda went to check on her too. She was such a cute kid even though she was a pain in the butt sometimes. It was kind of like having a little sister.” Jay’s voice cracked, both emotion and the virus running rampant in his body. “I should have saved her.”

  His body shook as he quietly sobbed. The guilt over leaving his parents had been on his mind often in the days after he left. The more he looked back, the more he had wondered if they were like Max, or like the ones in the hall who had bitten him. And poor little Dawn. Jay almost felt like he would be better off dying, if only to alleviate his guilt.

  Max couldn’t help but wonder now if this personality quirk, his love of children, was a small carryover from Jay’s pre-dead life. Rousing himself from his musings, he made his way back to the others to enjoy a quiet family dinner.

  CHAPTER 19

  Seventeen and Three had been pleasantly surprised when Clara returned to them several hours after being led away. Since she returned though, Clara had refused to speak to either of them. Suspicion over what had occurred during her solo captivity crept into their minds.

  Three wondered if she had spoken to the same woman who had tried to get him to talk, and prayed Clara hadn’t given away their secrets.

  Clara hardly noticed the people around her, caught up in her own thoughts after everything she had just discovered. It changed everything. Like a prayer bead, she rubbed her thumb over the picture of Max in her pocket, still feeling the thrill of remembering his name.

  She thought over what Rachel had told her. She still didn't know what to make of the information.

  Pregnant. The word kept running through her mind.

  The word still made her feel like there were more pieces of memory fluttering on the edge of her mind, just barely out of her grasp. The emotions that came with those pieces were a mix of things Clara tried to identify.

  First, joy. A strange, warm sense of happiness that started in her belly and flowed throughout her entire body.

  Then, fear. A deep, dark sense of dread that renders one immobile.

  Finally, sadness. Pain. Loss.

  Somehow, Clara was feeling all of these at the same time, even though she didn’t know why.

  It was this which occupied her brain as she sat staring at the ground in front of her.

  Seventeen came over and sat beside her, leaning in to look at Clara’s face. Her big blue doe eyes broke Seventeen’s heart, and what was initially a sense of anger and urgency quickly turned into empathy. She leaned forward and put her arms around the distraught woman.

  They sat like that for a while before Seventeen realized their actions were against the norm for their kind and pulled away, not wanting to attract the attention of the guards. Putting her head down, Seventeen covered her mouth and asked the question they had been dying to know since Clara got back.

  “What happened?”

  Clara looked over at Seventeen before facing forward again. She considered her options for a moment.

  “Nothing,” Clara responded flatly. Seventeen glared at her.

  “We help you. Tell us what happened.”

 
Clara sat silently for a few more minutes before responding. “The doctor do test. Ask questions.”

  She did appreciate what Seventeen and Three had done for her, but also didn’t know what to say or who to trust. She knew they would never believe Rachel's intentions and would think there was something more to it. Both of them hated the uninfected, and honestly, Clara didn’t blame them. It was only her intuition and sense of Rachel that made her feel she could be trusted, and there was no way that the others would ever consider that enough.

  Standing up, Seventeen walked back over to Three and whispered something in his ear. While he didn’t react outwardly, he said something back to Seventeen that she obviously didn’t like. She growled and went to sit with some of the stupids, including Nine, still glaring at her and Three.

  Ignoring this display, Three just stared at Clara another moment before joining her.

  “Woman doctor, right?” he asked bluntly, remembering his own experiences. Clara nodded sharply.

  “Ask question, try to make talk, right?” Clara tensed but nodded again, guessing where this line of inquiry was going. “Did it work?”

  Clara knew she couldn’t lie her way through it anyway, but Three had read her face before she had time to respond. He inhaled sharply but didn’t say anything. Clara hung her head, ashamed that she had given herself away knowing he hadn’t.

  She decided to try to elaborate further, explain herself.

  “I pregnant. Baby inside,” Clara whispered by way of explanation, putting on hand on her still flat stomach.

  After several long minutes of silence, Three simply offered his hand out to her, much like she had done for him just the day before. Smiling lightly, Clara understood the peace offering for what it was and took his hand. They sat like that for the rest of the night, lost in their individual thoughts, not even caring if the soldiers saw them.

  Clara woke the next morning with Three still beside her. He sat alert, and she doubted he had slept. She had been noticing that he tended to take naps during the day when all their caged brethren were awake, and assumed it was so he could keep watch over them in the night.

  Seventeen leaned against Nine, asleep, and Clara vowed to make things right with her today. Although they had all only known one another for a short time, a bond bred in captivity was born and further strengthened by the intelligence that separated them from their infected peers. Strife between such a minority was something Clara instinctively knew should be avoided.

  A short time later, Clara heard the familiar clanging of buckets that indicated it was their feeding time. Frenzy overcame many of the caged occupants as soon as the familiar odors and clanging of the buckets hit them. They seemed to be fed every two days and while Clara was certainly hungry by this point it wasn’t unbearable, just not ideal. It made her wonder of what other differences there were between before and now. The soldiers opened the gate and carelessly tossed in the buckets, which were quickly jumped on.

  Clara watched as some of the soldiers started to make a game of sticking their prods through the rungs to make the captives have to jump back from the buckets each time. Laughter filled the air as the soldiers mocked the hungry infected.

  Anger overwhelmed Clara at seeing them being teased and mocked in this way. When one of the soldiers actually struck someone, eliciting a loud yelp, Clara reacted without thinking.

  Rushing forward she grabbed one of the prods still sticking through the grate and pulled it towards her. The unexpected action caught the soldier off guard and his face slammed into the cage as he lost his grip on the prod. He cried out as he hit the floor.

  The room was stilled instantly. Clara stepped back into the center of the cage, her soiled robe flowing around her, as a low growl pick up in her throat. Her newly acquired cattle prod sat comfortably in her hand. A few drops of blood fell from the soldier’s nose and the infected, excited by the momentary success and the sight of blood, started to whoop and holler around her.

  The soldiers looked at one another, unsure of what to do as they watched the cage go wild, Clara’s malevolent stare unnerving them further. The soldiers whispered amongst themselves and she grinned broadly at their unease.

  Suddenly the door opened behind them.

  A voice rang out over the commotion. “Problems, gentlemen?” The soldiers stilled and moved aside to make a path.

  Captain Wolfe strode into the room and it was immediately apparent to Clara that, unlike the other soldiers, this man was a true threat. Despite her growing nervousness, she stood her ground as she watched him approach. The infected around her quieted down, oblivious to a degree, yet still aware of the change of dynamic within the room.

  They could sense that their companion, the blonde with the cattle prod, was no longer the dominant force in the room.

  Wolfe inspected the scene with a look of apparent disinterest and annoyance before turning back to his men. “I can't even trust you to keep watch over a bunch of stupid zombies now?” Wolfe mocked.

  Private Brody, who still had blood dripping from his nose, cleared his throat. “Beg your pardon, Sir, but this one ain't so stupid.” He nodded his head towards Clara, who only then realized she had just completely outed herself to the soldiers with her actions. The blood rushed from her face and her heart started pounding.

  Wolfe looked her over with a smirk, “Yes, Private, I can see that.” Pulling out his gun, he casually approached the cage and nodded at one of the men to open the door. He never took his eyes off Clara.

  Wolfe entered the cage arrogantly, gun held casually at his side. He strutted straight up to Clara, obviously not concerned with the other occupants, who were all warily watching this exchange. A few low growls were heard, but no one moved except Wolfe.

  For what seemed like forever to Clara, he stared down at her, as though trying to figure her out. His face remained impassive.

  After another minute he held out his hand.

  Clara froze, not sure of what to do.

  She knew that, even if she shocked him, the other men would be on her in a second. Wolfe would be down for a moment, but likely wouldn't die, whereas her own chances of survival were not so good. She thought of the little one in her belly and of Max, then placed the cattle prod into his outstretched hand.

  Wolfe’s signature smirk reappeared as he addressed the soldiers, still looking straight at Clara. “Take control of your wards, Private. And keep a close eye on this one.”

  A moment later, he exited the cage and left, leaving Clara to wonder what the ramifications would be of what she'd just done.

  She felt a hand grab her own and felt a reassuring squeeze from Seventeen. She squeezed back gratefully. Whatever would happen, they were in this together.

  CHAPTER 20

  Dinner had gone better than Max expected. While he and Jay both certainly left a bit to be desired in the realm of table manners, Max was delighted to see Jay heartily eat his steaks. He was equally pleased with having a full belly himself and enjoyed the meal despite it not being fresh. There was a peaceful sense of normality that came with dinner at a table, and he glowed with warmth and content.

  Chip and Lucy were obviously thrilled to have new faces around their dinner table, and Sue seemed to be lighter overall watching her children's happiness.

  After they had all finished, Chip and Lucy pulled out one of their board games and were attempting to teach Jay how to play. It was some strange children’s game involving trapping little balls in colorful animals’ mouths. Jay didn’t seem to grasp that the point of the game wasn’t to just press the button to make its mouth open again and again, despite the children’s best efforts to teach him. Nevertheless, he was delighted by it, and his odd version of giggles made everyone laugh. Soon the children gave up trying to play the game and Lucy directed a small story created on the spot, prompting her brother and Jay to move their mouths along with the story.

  Max watched this all with a tinge of sadness. Seeing how well Jay got along here, he knew it wasn’t
going to be easy to leave. He couldn’t help but wonder if he should leave him here and continue to find Clara on his own. Would he be better off with them?

  Sue came up behind him and leaned over to ask him if he could watch them while she checked their food stores in the crawlspace. Before he had even registered she was approaching, The Smell hit Max’s senses. While it was a controllable craving, it was also against his instincts that he didn’t act.

  Max then realized that, even with a full belly, his kind would always be a danger to the uninfected. With Jay having even less mental capacity, there would never be a guarantee he wouldn’t be a threat to Sue and her children.

  Max murmured his assent to Sue who didn’t seem to notice the sudden melancholy that had overcome him. She wandered to the back of the house, completely trusting of the two zombies watching her children.

  Max looked at Chip and Lucy, thought about Sue and her kindness, and knew he could never risk leaving Jay here. While he truly didn’t think that Jay would ever hurt them, he could never be sure, and wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he thought the kind family might be in danger.

  With resolve, he stood up to go find Sue and ask her again if she had thought of a faster way to get him across the country to Clara.

  “He actually taught you how to read the sun before he died?” Sue exclaimed, impressed at Jay’s idea. Max nodded, also proud of Jay’s foresight. He wouldn’t have gotten this far if not for him, and he would forever be in Jay’s debt. Not only for helping him escape the room and learn to speak, but also for the brilliant ideas the boy had shown in planning their journey across the country.

  “Well, since we live in Canada, rain is obviously going to happen, and with it, clouds. It’s early enough in the fall that we may still have nice weather ahead, but we can’t guarantee it, and going across the prairies will certainly be a gamble.” Sue rambled on.

  She had pulled out a map of Canada, a lucky remnant of one of Chip’s school projects, and was thinking of ways her new friends would possibly be able to make it across. Max stared at the map with interest but tried not to interrupt Sue’s train of thought.