Case of the Yorkshire Pudding

by Erik Schubach

  “Got it, runt.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine.”

  She gave me a peck on my lips to make me behave. Hey, that was my trick. I beamed at her. Jess rolled her eyes at us as she snorted. “I think I'm going to get cavities just watching you two.” Then she tossed something at me, and I panicked, forgetting how to catch. Jane caught the lobbed projectiles with one hand and opened it to reveal Jessie's car keys. “The train doubles your travel time. Take mine, Fly-Girl and I are riding our bikes till the first frost. It's behind mom and pop's. I won't be responsible for what happens if I don't 'Bring that adorable Finnegan and her girl,' to the movie tonight.”

  I stared at the keys Jane was dangling in front of me expectantly. They wanted me to... drive? My life has centered around walking and riding public transportation since I arrived in Manhattan. It was my comfort zone. As I demonstrated in Hudson Valley, driving... isn't.

  I swallowed and took the keys. “Thanks, Red.”

  “De nada.”

  The girls all kept their bikes in the two storage cages in the basement that we had for the two apartments I had combined. The owner of the rest of the building grumps about it, but we can store anything we want down there. The ladies just use the sidewalk elevator to bring their motorcycles up and down to the street. To them, it is just as awesome as having underground parking like me. Unfortunately, Jess has to leave her car at her parents more often than not since she moved into our spare downstairs bedroom.

  Jane chuckled, “Now it looks like you'll have to drive, pipsqueak.” I stuck out my tongue as I quickly flipped the amused women the bird.

  Jessie was the next to head out to work at the City Kitty alternative attire boutique where she was a manager. She had to bargain with the owners to work six days a week for a month in exchange for getting time off for her honeymoon. I can't believe they had been so stingy with her time off. Well, maybe I could since her sales were three times the next salesperson's at the boutique. It didn't hurt that she had the body to show off the edgy clothing they sold.

  Then I walked Jane to the door when she retrieved her service weapon from its cupboard. She had hesitated and looked at it. “You know, I really should get a proper lockbox for this, after the two scares at the inn.”

  I nodded and told her, “I can research the best ones, and cross-reference with...”

  I stopped to smile at the smile she was beaming my way. “What? I like to research as much as I like to organize.”

  She nodded and slid the weapon into her shoulder holster before heading to the door, Calvin twining around between our legs. She shrugged into her jacket and said with a sigh, “I should be home around five or six, love.”

  I nodded and smirked. “Just in time to go the movie with Jess' parents.”

  She sighed. “Yup, just in time. They don't like me very much. Her mom still calls me 'the one with the gun,' even though we had almost gotten married. And they love you.” She smirked and sighed. “I guess I can't blame them, you are pretty lovable for an annoying twerp.”

  I muttered with a grin, “Jerk cop,” then shared, “She doesn't dislike you, just what you do. She didn't want to see her daughter hurt.”

  She winked at me, gave me a heated kiss, then left me gasping as she crouched to ruffle Cal's ears. “Keep her out of trouble, will ya boy? You're the only one with any sense.”

  I gave her the stink eye as she slipped out. I listened for her footsteps, knowing I wouldn't hear any. Then locked the door a few times before I heard her moving down the hall.

  I looked at the time and said to my fuzzy lieutenant, “We have a few minutes before we have to go walk the boys. Want to help me re-label the mailbox and the storage cages before we leave?” I took his cocked head and inquisitive eyes as an affirmative, then I pulled out my fancy labeler from the well-organized junk drawer. This was going to be fun. Why are you looking at me like that? Go away.

  It was a gusty day out and was a little chillier than the past few days. Soon I'd have to start wearing tights under my dresses. I wore a wide-brimmed hat to keep my unruly hair from being blown around into a rat's nest. And when I caught a glimpse of Cal and my reflection in a window, walking the girls after lunch, I nodded with pride. We looked goooood, and the pups knew it.

  Drat, karma always has a way of waking me up when I get overconfident. I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and planted myself on my butt. I sprung back up in the sea of people like a jack in the box and just kept walking and whistling innocently like nothing happened. Nobody saw that, right?

  As Cal and I ate lunch in the park between walks, I contacted the Larkins and asked for a meeting this afternoon. They didn't ask any questions when I said it was about Darius. Instead, they were oddly silent for a few seconds before agreeing to meet.

  After walking the girls and leaving our last charge, Princess, who is completely enamored with Cal, at her mom's apartment. I sighed at my fuzzy boy and said, “Well, I guess we should go grab Killer, then get Mable's car.” I shuddered at the thought of driving again, but she was super sweet to offer the car so who was I to decline?

  We had to grab Killer at the CPT since mom was off doing who knows what for her column. Then took the subway to a block from the five and dime Jess' parents owned.

  I took a second to look at the old dilapidated five and dime, Ethyl's, on the corner of the block. The sign was positively antique and had a clock inset in it with a picture of a coffee cup. It was quaint and retro, but completely authentic because it wasn't trying to be retro. It was the real deal. The place had been here for a very long time.

  Calvin simply trotted through the people on the sidewalks and right up to the door. We had been here so often he saw it as one of 'his' places. He waited for me to catch up with a whimpering Killer in my shoulder bag. He didn't think it was fair that Cal just got to wander the streets with me off his leash. I ruffled the little guy's ears. “It's ok boy, I hear your training is coming along, and you're parents will be able to give you a little more freedom when we get you back home.”

  Mom and the employees at CPT have been giving him training in the basic commands like all of our fuzzy guests at the rescue get. It helps to rein in the chaos with so many dogs, usually with no training, running around the kennel, and makes the dogs more desirable to people looking to adopt.

  I reached the door and opened it for Calvin, who flowed in like smoke, and I stepped in to wave at the big burly overweight man with a receding hairline who was behind the register. He smiled hugely back, “Finnegan. What brings you here today?”

  I almost flounced up to the kind man and bounced on my toes in front of him. “Hello, Hiram. I have business upstate, and Jess lent me her car. I thought it only polite to drop in and say hello before I just drove off in your daughter's vehicle.”

  He came around the counter and engulfed me in a bear hug. The term was apropos in this case as the man was big as a bear. “Well, that is much appreciated. You've impeccable manners. Maybe you could teach Mable some.”

  I grinned at him as he released me, knowing he only kidded. As brash, impulsive, and inappropriate as Jessie acted out in the world, when she was around her parents or my mom, she was always respectful and, dare I say it, meek?

  I looked from where we stood, down the length of the narrow, almost tunnel-like shop, which contained just two rows of shelves with an eclectic assortment of canned foods, hardware, and even clothes. In the back half of the five and dime was an old-school soda fountain style counter with aged Formica top and dented and worn metal edging spanning the distance, showed the place's age. There were six, well worn, pedestal pivoting stools secured to the floor in front of it.

  I saw Jess' mom pouring coffee for an elderly black man who was sitting on the far stool, back leaning against the wall, reading the Times. I had to smile. I don't think Otis has moved from that spot in the couple years I've been coming here. He was just as much a fixture here as the mirrors covering the
back wall with the specials of the day written on them in colorful script.

  I placed a hand on Hiram's arm and gave it a little squeeze as I beamed him a smile. Then I almost skipped back to the counter and sang out in my best Beatles impression, “Hello Irene.”

  She turned to look my way as one of Otis' hands dropped casually to pet Calvin without looking away from his newspaper.

  The woman lit up and then smirked and said, “That isn't how the song goes, baby girl.” She put the coffee pot back on the hotplate and tucked her dishrag into her apron as she slid to the end of the counter and stepped out of the half height swinging door to first hug me then ruffle Calvin's ears. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?”

  I beamed at her. She was like mom unit version 2.0 for me. She was always happy to see me, saying I was a good influence on her Mable. And she treated me like a daughter. “Jess is just lending me her car for the afternoon,” I held the keys up and jingled them. Just wanted to drop in to see how you are doing instead of just sneaking out back and leaving.”

  She nodded and said, “You are such a darling. You need to teach Mable some of that. She's always so brusk. Between you and Kerry, I think some of it is going to have to rub off on her.”

  I almost snickered at that. My big bad childhood friend was nothing but, “Yes sir,” and “Yes, ma'am,” around her new bride's parents. She was a chicken for a badass hero. But Irene gushed about Kerry to anyone who would listen. She was so proud of her new daughter-in-law.

  Killer whimpered, and she looked down at my bag. I grinned and said, “Irene, this is Killer. I'm getting him to his parents this afternoon... I hope.”

  She exploded into unicorns and rainbows on the spot. Making little grabbing motions toward him. I had to smile at how silly she was being. I plucked the little Yorkie from the bag and handed the little man to her, his tail swishing and body wiggling while he tried to lick her face off as she cuddled him.

  I did chuckle a little as I listened to the baby talk all the women I knew used when Killer was there. We're all such... girls.

  She carried him to a little old fashioned glass candy jar at the end of her back counter and pulled out two of the dog treats she kept back there for Calvin when he visited. She gave my impatient boy a treat then offered one to the wiggling Yorkie-butt. Killer gobbled it up and looked at her expectantly.

  I told him, “Just one, you greedy gut. You'll get as big as Porky Pig otherwise.” He cocked his head at me, so I cocked my head at him and smiled, prompting another butt wiggle.

  Mrs. Freeman was smitten. “He's adorable.” She lowered him into my shoulder bag as I nodded and held it open for her.

  “He is. He's lost, and we've been having one heck of a time locating his parents, but I have a solid lead.”

  She sighed and shook her head as she looked at me. “You're the patron saint of canines, baby girl.” I shrugged. What? I like dogs, and someone needs to be their voice.

  “We better be off if we're to get to our meeting in time,” I said.

  She sighed and looked me up and down like a mother would her child then nodded in satisfaction and said as she slipped back behind the counter again. “Let me get you some coffee to go, Fin.”

  I beamed at her as she filled a thermal cup and snapped a sipping lid on it and handed it to me. She said as I saluted her and started toward the front, “Use the back door, sweetie, it's faster. And I'll see you at the movie tonight.”

  I nodded. “Of course, we wouldn't miss it. Love you.”

  She responded in kind, “Love you too. See you soon.”

  I called out to the corner with great humor as I slipped behind the counter to head to the back door in the storage room with Cal and Killer, “Love you too, Otis.” The old man grunted from behind his newspaper and held his coffee cup up in acknowledgment as Irene and I shared a giggle.

  We headed out back, and in the alley was a single marked parking spot between the building and the dumpster shared by a few of the shops on the block. Multiple signs read that unauthorized vehicles would be towed and that this was parking for Ethyl's Five and Dime. In the spot was Jess' little techno violet BMW E36 convertible sports coupe. It was so her.

  I unlocked it and let Calvin in, then hopped into the driver's seat and windmilled my legs like I was riding a bicycle, grinning at the pedals a million miles away from my feet. Mother fluffin, long-legged, tall amazons. I let Killer out of the bag, and he hopped over to the passenger seat with Calvin and stood to look out the window. I grinned. He was no stranger to car rides.

  I fished around looking for the lever for the seat... and after an inordinate amount of fail, I found buttons on the side of the seat, and I felt the burn of a blush in the tips of my ears. I grinned at the fuzzy kids and then held the button forward... for quite some time, as the seat moved on an inexorable path forward. I whistled a tune to myself, just to be a smarty pants, and then sighed in relief when my feet comfortably rested on the pedals.

  Then with a wicked grin, I adjusted all of her mirrors. Of course, I was already planning on leaving everything like this when I returned the car. It would be a good laugh seeing Jess trying to fold herself into the front seat like this, eating her knees. I'd need to film it on my cell to post everywhere.

  Then I started the beast, and it seemed to wind up as I tested the gas pedal instead of thrumming like Jane's SUV. It still had power, just a decidedly different flavor of power. I went to put the vehicle in gear, but my eyes took in all the parking tickets strewn about her dash and the fast food wrappers all over the floor.

  I closed my eyes and tried to put the car in gear, but I couldn't bear it. “Gah!” I cleaned the vehicle up, stuffing all the trash in a plastic bag I took out of my shoulder bag. Then I straightened her tickets and organized them by date and placed them in the glove box. Then wrote on a post-it note from my bag that the tickets were there and stuck it to the front of the glovebox.

  Then I smiled. Now we were ready to... why are you looking at me like that? We all have our quirks, and so do you. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not? Thought so.

  I put the car in gear and looked back over the seats out the rear window and gave it a little gas, then slammed on the brakes right away when we started going forward. I cringed, hoping the boys hadn't noticed. They were still plastered to the window with their tails wagging. Whew. I put it in reverse and then backed up.

  Ok, that was something I didn't excel in, even when I took driver's ed. I know I got marked down for that, as I had just barely scored high enough to get my license. We wavered back down the alley until I had enough room to go around the dumpster. Then I put it in drive, and we were off on a new adventure. My wingmen approved.

  I called out “Road trip!” And Killer jumped into the back seat and ran back and forth to look out windows on both sides as cars honked at me for going slow on the congested streets. I didn't want to damage Jess' car. She was trusting me, and I wouldn't let her down.

  As I headed upstate, I realized I really had no clue where I was going. North wasn't good enough. So I pulled over into a spot that someone had just conveniently vacated across from the New York Art Academy, in front of a cute little coffee shop that was cleverly named, Campus Grounds.

  I pulled up the address on Google Maps and hit 'navigate.' Then after three attempts I finally got out into traffic and headed north following Siri's directions as she called them out from the app.

  I looked at the boys, wondering just how good a memory they had, and called out again, “Road trip!” They didn't look askance at me so I must have pulled it off.

  Chapter 10 – Suspicious

  In no time we were driving through Tarrytown, to the north end where the community of Sleepy Hollow was. My cell navigated us up to a nice neighborhood and a fairly upscale house but by no means a mansion or anything.

  Killer started whimpering. We must be at someplace familiar for him. That was encouraging, and I smile
d and assured him, “We'll have you home in no time boy.”

  I stopped the car, with minimal tire screeching. Then once I turned it off, I turned to the little Yorkie and gave my best evil scientist laugh and opened my bag. To my surprise, he hopped right in and whimpered again. I cocked my head at him. Why did I get the impression it wasn't a happy whimper? My Fin-dar started pinging as I looked around.

  I got out and walked around to let Cal out, I stomped a heel absently, and he sat like a trooper as I clipped his leash onto his harness and straightened his working dog bib as my eyes scanned the house. I was probably getting worked up over nothing.

  We went up the front walk to the nice covered porch. I had always wanted one like this for the family home. Hmm... maybe I'd hire a contractor to do just that.

  We reached the door and Killer was silent, head down. I rang the doorbell and smoothed my skirt and rocked on my heels as I waited at the door. Then I stood up straighter when a woman I recognized opened the door. She looked at me then Calvin and asked, “Miss Finnegan May?”

  I nodded, and said, “Yes Mrs. Larkin. I'm a fan, I remember Darius winning Grand Champion, he's a rock star.” My brow furrowed when I realized Darius wasn't coming to investigate who was at the door as my eyes searched for him with a bit of excitement building. Hmm... that was very un-doglike of him.

  She smiled at me and opened the door further, offering pleasantly, “Please come in.”

  I gave her a grin and introduced my boy as we entered a living room that was relaxingly clean, almost antithetically so. It put my borderline OCD at ease, and my smile grew. I think I liked this woman.

  She made an ushering motion toward a white couch, “Please, have a seat. What is it that you wished to discuss, you were a little vague on the phone, just that it had to do with Darius. Were you needing his stud service?”

  I blinked at that. “Oh, you've decided to offer him out for stud? I thought you had retired him after his big win.”

  She looked a little nervous, the way she crossed her legs at the ankle and placed her hands on her lap tensely. “We changed our minds, it is a recent development, and have just started listing him.”