Fueled in Fire

by Ryan Michele

  “Hey!” Cruz came in doing the one-armed hug thing. His pats on the back were rough, and as we pulled away a huge smile was across his face. “Glad you came.”

  “I had a choice?” I questioned with a tip of my lip.

  “Nope,” he answered directly, and I full out smiled. Yeah. This would be okay.

  “Sit!” Princess called out, holding a very large platter and setting it on the table, Ma close at her heels.

  I held back, Rylynn coming up to me and giving me a soft smile. Why I hung back didn’t register. But as everyone sat down it hit me. They each had their place in this family. They knew what it was, and there was zero doubt in it. They’d probably had hundreds of meals around this table, and this was my first.

  Two open seats sat next to Cruz with Pops and Ma having moved down. It was intentional, there was no mistaking it.

  Fuck me, this felt so surreal.

  “Have a seat,” Cruz ordered, but it took Rylynn pulling my hand to get my attention. With that action, I sat and looked around the table. Cruz and Princess. Cooper and Bristyl. Austyn and Ryker. Nox and Carsyn. Pops and Ma. If GT’s crew were here, it would be all of them.

  Food was passed around the table.

  “Why didn’t we just have it up on the island so we didn’t have to do this pass around game,” Austyn groaned, telling me that this wasn’t normal. It made me feel a little better.

  “It’s a special day,” Ma said diplomatically.

  “Welcome to the family, Crow,” Austyn said sarcastically. “We don’t eat like this… like ever.”

  “Good. I sure as shit don’t.” My comment caused laughter, and I felt a bit of the tension drain away. Rylynn reached under the table and grabbed my hand giving it a squeeze, that took even more out.

  Damn, I loved her.

  Lifting her hand to my mouth, I kissed it. She jolted in shock and looked around the table. For what, I had no clue.

  “So does this mean you’re moving?” Austyn asked Rylynn.

  I felt Rylynn’s body tense. Therefore, I answered for her. “Yep.”

  Austyn’s gaze turned to me just as Rylynn’s glare hit me full bore. “I haven’t decided yet,” Rylynn grumbled.

  “Uh. Oh. Destruction in paradise,” Nox joked.

  “We’re not talking about this,” I said, and Nox’s face turned. He didn’t mean any harm, but if Rylynn was going to try to shut me down, this day would end very differently. It needed to be calm. Or as calm as I could make it.

  “Alright. So touchy subject. Got it,” Bristyl commented. “Cooper and I had sex before we came.”

  “Seriously?” Austyn responded. “I do not need to hear that shit.”

  “Got you to get off Crow’s ass,” Bristyl fired back.

  “Touché.” Austyn went back to her food.

  “So,” Ma started. “Tell me about my great-grandbabies.” She really had a thing for my kids.

  “Seriously?” Pops said, setting down his fork. “You just can’t let it go, can you?”

  Ma slapped Pops’ arm. “No. Leave me be.”

  Pops looked at me. “Sorry, son. She’s gonna be at your throat until she knows all about them.”

  “No problem.” I chewed and then swallowed. “I have two. Greer is sixteen. Football player and does pretty good in school.”

  “Bet you have to cover him with a rubber,” Nox said loudly.

  At that, I chuckled. “Pretty much. Has this new tutor. One look at the girl and he was told he could only study with her at the kitchen table or island.”

  Laughs could be heard throughout the room.

  “He’s a good kid.” I looked at Rylynn whose fork stopped midway up. She didn’t catch my gaze. “He has some protective issues.”

  “Don’t you all,” Austyn threw in to more chuckles.

  “Yeah. My girl is ten. She’s livin’ with me now. Long story, but her mom is wacked. She’s in Girl Scouts, which I don’t understand one bit, and likes to sing. Even if it is off key.”

  “Sounds like your sister,” Princess threw in to Rylynn, who smiled.

  “Yeah. They’re very similar.”

  “Okay, so when can we …” Ma started, but Pops interrupted by slapping a hand over her mouth. “Don’t you dare. We talked about this shit. Knock it off.”

  Ma scowled at him, but judging from the happy faces around me, this was typical banter.

  We ate and talked. Mostly light shit, not digging in too deep. I learned that Cooper and Bristyl were planning to elope to Vegas, which sent Austyn off the deep end. Nox and his woman were serious, but she’d been through some rough shit so she was gun-shy. Ryker and Austyn were good except for the bickering between them.

  Princess and Cruz’s relationship was one to watch. There was this push and pull between them that kept each of them on their toes. It was something I always wished my father could’ve had at some point in his life. He never had the woman at his side.

  I admired each of them in their own ways.

  It was a lot to take in. They were a lot to take in. It made me wonder what my life would’ve been like had I stayed with Cruz. But I shut that shit down fast because that was never an option, and I loved my dad. Thinking that way did nothing and solved nothing.

  My cell rang, and I excused myself from the table answering it. “Crow.”

  “You get the girl?” Brewer teased.

  “Was there any doubt?” I fired back.

  He laughed. “What’s the ETA for you comin’ back?”

  “Don’t know. Why?”

  Brewer started, “Damien wants a meet, and Ebony is due back soon.” There was a shit load on my plate that needed to be worked out, and here I was having lunch with my new family while my old family was dealing with all the shit life was handing us.

  “Give me tomorrow and I’ll head back.”

  The phone was shuffled around on the other end. “You got it, boss. We’ll have full updates for you when you arrive.”

  “Thanks.”

  He gave me a later, and I rung off. Turning around, Rylynn stood there. “Do you have to leave?” she asked, looking up at me. I pulled her into my body and wrapped my arms around her tight.

  “Not yet. Need to give you time to pack your shit.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “First, I do not have shit.” She paused. “Second, I don’t know if I’m coming with you.”

  Pain sliced through me at the thought of her giving up on us. She couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow it. She felt for me what I did for her, and I’d never give up. My mind rolled with the possibilities of how to change her mind if it came to that. “Pixie.”

  She interrupted, “I know where you are, Crow. When we get back to my place, I’ll tell you where I am. We’ll go from there.”

  I bent down and took her mouth. She reacted, kissing me back as her hands slipped through my hair. She wasn’t going anywhere. Even if that meant strapping her to the back of my bike kicking and screaming.

  18

  Rylynn

  The talk. Truly, I didn’t know what to tell Crow. Everything inside of me told me to give him another chance. To let him prove to me that he wasn't that man. That he was trustworthy. Fuck, that killed. I hated that we lost that. Hated that he didn’t remember doing it.

  Just hated it all.

  We entered my place just as my cell rang. Looking at the display, it said Mom calling. It was like the heavens opened up giving me my mother. I took the call. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey there. Heard you went to the Cruz’s house for brunch.”

  Ignoring what she said I replied, “Sure. I can come over. It’ll be about thirty minutes though.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “No problem. I can be there,” I said out loud for Crow to hear.

  “What is your deal? You swipe Grandma’s pills?”

  This made me want to chuckle, but I held it back. I needed to get to my mom’s and have a talk. A real one. One that was down to the nitty-gritty of life.

  “Okay
, I’ll see you in thirty.” I didn’t give her a chance to say anything because I hung up and turned to Crow. “I need to go to my mom’s for a bit and help her with something. It won’t take long.”

  “You want me to go with you?” he asked.

  Fuck no. “My dad might be there, and I don’t want to have to break you two up again.”

  “Keep thinkin’ that, Pixie.” He sat on the couch. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

  “Great.”

  I grabbed my keys and without another word dashed to my Jeep, fired it up, and got the hell out of there. A bit down the road I dialed my mom who answered on the first ring with a “What the hell was that, Rylynn?”

  “Mom, look. I need to talk to you alone. Are you home alone?”

  “Are you okay?” She sounded concerned. It matched how I felt.

  “Yes. Alone?”

  “Will be for about an hour. Mazie is due back home from Payton’s house then. Why?” Looked like Mazie got her way after all.

  “I’ll be there in ten. Need to talk to you.”

  “Alright. Drive slow and get here safe.”

  I disconnected the line and drove to my mother’s house.

  Entering the house, my mom stood by the door worry all over her, from the hands twitching to the jaw jumping. “Mom, I’m fine. Just need to talk about Crow and me.”

  She let out an audible breath, pulled me into her arms, and kissed the top of my head. Mom led me over to the couch and we sat. “Talk,” she ordered.

  “Damn you sound like Dad, I retorted.

  “Woman,” she said sternly. This was one of those puzzles I didn’t have the answer to, because feelings were involved. It wasn’t a math problem that had a definite answer. There were so many variables involved, and it stumped me.

  “Long story short...” I explained the time we had together. The reason for climbing on his bike. What happened at his house. What happened with Greer. What happened with Sophia. Then what happened last night. All of it. Every last detail, except the sex parts. She didn’t need to have that seared on her brain. She was super cool and wouldn’t care, but no thank you.

  Mom leaned back in the couch, her gaze off in the distance. She was thinking. It was what she did every time something needed an answer that she didn’t have at the tip of her tongue. I waited. And waited. Until she spoke.

  “What is your heart saying?”

  I answered immediately, “Go with him and see if we can make a go of it.”

  Her focus came to me. “Then that’s what you do. Life doesn’t give you a ton of chances. Sometimes it gives you none. This time it’s holding its hand out and giving you something precious. Will it be work? Hell yes. You don’t let that shit off the hook that easily. Crow does his time for it,” she fired, and I smiled. There was my mom. “But you also don’t hold it against him for long either if he shows you he can be who and what he tells you, then you let it go.”

  “And if I get hurt?”

  Mom reached over and took my hand. “We always get hurt in one way or another. We hurt when we’re in pain. We hurt when someone leaves us. We hurt when we stub our toe. We hurt when our best friend tells us we’re fat.”

  My brows narrowed. “Fat?”

  She waved her hand. “Just sayin’ an example. But we all hurt. If you have him leave here with you knowing it’ll be the last time you’ll ever see him again, will that hurt?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered low.

  “And you go with him and find out he’s an asshole. Will that hurt?”

  “Yeah, Mom.”

  “And if you go and things work out to where you’re both happy, will that hurt?”

  “No. I mean, it could.”

  She shook her head. “We don’t live in a world where we make guesses on our future. We live it. Steer it in the direction we want and hope it stays on that track. I lost so many years without my dad. So many. If I could have a single one back, I would do it in a heartbeat. I just don’t want you to regret something because that sticks with you forever.”

  I squeezed her hand knowing her pain at losing her dad and hating it for her at the same time. She was right. She always was.

  “Not that I want you to leave though,” she threw in there, making me laugh. “I mean, you have my grandbabies, you’d better be comin’ home a lot.”

  My arms wrapped around my mom. “Not sure if that’s going to happen any time soon.”

  “It will. One day.” She pulled away and looked me straight in the eye. “You rely on your wisdom and heart, Rylynn. They will lead you in the right direction.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome. So what did you decide?”

  Instead of answering, I smiled, kissed her, and took off.

  But my Jeep didn’t take me home. Instead, I drove around Sumner letting the wind whip through my hair. I should’ve stopped at the clubhouse and got my bike, but I didn’t want to see anyone from there at the moment. I needed time.

  The warmth caressed my skin as my mind rolled and milled. The roads passed by in a blur. Part of me wanted to tell Crow to take a long walk off a short pier. That what he did completely wiped the slate clean of our time together. While the other part wanted to hold onto him tight, and give him another chance to prove he was worth the risk. The thing was, I could only hold onto him if he let me. Crow was giving me that chance. The chance to hold on to him for the rest of our days.

  He’d have a lot to atone for, but I’d be a complete moron if I let it slip through my fingers and not at least try. Like mom said, I’d regret it and wouldn’t be able to turn back the clock. Living with the regret would be as bad as living with the reality what I wanted wasn’t what it could be.

  There was only one answer.

  Fuck me.

  “Hey,” I called out, entering my apartment. Crow smiled from the couch, turning off the television and sitting up.

  “Hey yourself. Get everything sorted?” he asked.

  “Think so,” I answered, tossing my keys to the table along with my bag and phone.

  “So which way did your mom say to go?”

  This made me smile. The man was too smart for his own damn good, knowing why I needed to go to my mother’s. “You know, there can only be one Einstein in the family, and I’ve already claimed it.”

  “Nope, read it myself. There can be as many as you want.”

  I shook my head, moving to the couch and sitting on the opposite end of it. Reaching up, I pulled the hair tie out of my mass of hair and it fell around my shoulders. Running my hands through it, Crow watched the movements avidly. “We had a good talk.”

  He lifted his knee to the couch and turned fully to me give his full attention, which I liked. “Keep going.”

  A smile crept my lips. “You’re not very patient, are you?”

  He reached out and took my hand. “Pixie, when it comes to you I want everything.”

  This warmed me so much I could’ve melted. Why did I have to love this man so much? It would have been so much easier if he was a dick and turned a blind eye to me. Instead, he was kind and soft, something I knew he didn’t show everyone else, yet I got it regularly.

  Life. Love it or leave it. Since I didn’t want to leave yet, I’d love it.

  “You have to understand something, Crow. And this isn’t some throwaway thing that you’ll put in a box and it’ll be lost forever.”

  “I get it,” he responded, listening.

  “This will be your only shot with me, Crow. You need to be all in because if I give you this, you have to know I won’t stand for another woman touching you, kissing you, anything. I’ll hurt them and then you. After that, I’m gone. There will be no more chances. There will be no words that could ever fix it. This is your one and only shot.”

  He stared at me for long moments. “Thank you,” he shocked me saying.

  “Huh?”

  “I won’t need another chance, Pixie. This is the only one I need, and I’ll prove it down to my sou
l.”

  Fuck, he was going to make me cry.

  He grasped me, pulled me to him, and kissed me hard.

  Either my heart would be full or broken. Only time would tell.

  19

  Crow

  She couldn’t come up for air because I wouldn’t let her. Devouring her mouth with everything I had inside of me, her hands wrapped around my neck and gave as good as she got. Picking her up by her ass, her legs wrapped around my hips as we continued kissing all the way to her bedroom.

  I laid her down, coming with her as she fell. Pulling back, my hand brushed the side of her cheek. “You’re it for me, Rylynn. Until I’m lyin’ in a pine box, you’re it.”

  Tears formed in her eyes, which wasn’t like my strong Rylynn, but I’d admit, I liked it. It meant I was really getting through to her. I knew it would be an uphill battle, but fuck me I would hold on to her with everything I had.

  Our lips joined once more, and we laid there making out, taking our time, and just ‘being’ with each other in the moment.

  Ever so slowly I pulled away and began to undress her. My fingertips glided up, catching her shirt and pulling. Her arms lifted as I tore the fabric from her body. Starting at her neck, I kissed and treasured every single inch of her as I went down.

  Time was our friend, and my Pixie needed to know exactly how I felt about her. It wasn’t enough to tell her; I needed to show her.

  Goose bumps rose as her back arched into my touch. Moving up, I pulled the cups of her bra down one at a time making sure my finger ran across her nipple.

  “You know,” I started, all the while my fingers circled her now hardening peaks. They were beginning to turn red showing me how much this turned her on. “When I saw you the first time at the clubhouse, I wanted these tits.” Hard, I pulled her flesh into my mouth sucking hard. She had beautiful breasts. “Having them once that night wasn’t enough.”

  I blew cool air over her, her hands coming to my arms. “Crow.”

  A smile came across my face. “I’ll never get enough of these. My cock sliding through them while I come all over your chest.”