Imperfect Saint

by Jess Bryant

  Hunter only narrowed his eyes, “Maybe you didn’t know, or maybe you didn’t want to know. Seemed like Reed knew what was going on as soon as he walked into that library though, didn’t it?”

  His words made Colin scowl again and Hunter knew he’d leveled a low blow. It had been clear to him that Colin wasn’t aware of what Joshua was capable of when he’d walked into that situation. His fiancé had known though, and it had been just as clear that Reed hadn’t shared any of his suspicions with Colin. Secrets weren’t exactly the foundation that marriage was built upon and they were set to tie the knot. Hunter could only assume that while he was up here in the attic caring for Millie that Colin and Reed had been having a very awkward discussion downstairs about just what Reed knew when and why he hadn’t informed the man he loved.

  “I was as shocked by that as anyone.”

  “How long has he known?”

  “Not long.” Colin shook his head. “He told me he only figured it out a couple of months ago. He saw Joshua pull her aside at a meal I’d invited him to. I’d been hoping they could figure out their problems if I just put them in the same room. I didn’t know what he was capable of or I never would have…”

  “Reed saw him hurt Millie and didn’t say anything?” Hunter growled.

  “No. God, no! He saw Joshua pull her aside to talk and he said something about it was off. Reed’s father was… well, let’s just say he wasn’t a nice man. He left when Reed was little, but Reed saw stuff. He knew the signs. He said he took one look at the way Joshua got in her face and he knew. He didn’t tell me because-“

  “Because he’d already threatened to gut the bastard if he ever touched her again.” Hunter cut in again, knowing there was a reason he’d liked Colin’s fiancé as soon as they’d met.

  “They were already broken up. Millie had made it clear that she was done with Joshua for good. I kept pushing. Dad pushed. She didn’t budge even an inch. Reed didn’t think there was anything new to worry about and what happened in the past wasn’t his place to tell me. It was hers.” Colin scrubbed his face again, “I understand his rationale, really I do, but… he still should’ve told me. I never would’ve let Joshua near her. I’d have protected her. She’s my little sister and I didn’t protect her.”

  Hunter saw the anguish on the other man’s face. He understood how much Colin was hurting. He’d been confused but once he’d put all the pieces together, he was sad and angry and frustrated with the people he loved most in the world. Millie hadn’t told him. Reed hadn’t told him. Colin had only found out that his best friend was an abusive asshole after seeing his sister bleeding and bruised on what was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. That had to have hit him like a blow to the head and he was still reeling.

  Hunter knew now why it was that Colin felt like he needed to talk to his sister immediately. He needed to hear the confirmation from her mouth. He needed to hear her explain to him why she'd kept him in the dark all this time. Colin needed answers, otherwise he’d blame himself for all of it, just like Millie do doubt did.

  Joshua Bell was the monster and both of the Turner siblings needed to remember that.

  Hunter softened his stance, “Millie’s told me how close you two are. I know you would’ve protected her if you’d known she was in trouble. You’re a good brother to her from what I’ve seen. I won’t say I’m sorry you found out. I’m not. I’m glad you know so you don’t keep letting that bastard into her life, but I am sorry all this drama happened on your wedding day.”

  “What’s a wedding without a little drama?” Colin let a shadow of a smile cross his face before it disappeared again and he shook his head, “Those are Reed’s words, not mine.”

  “I like him.” Hunter gave a small smile of his own and Colin snorted.

  “That’s good because he likes you too. Says you’re going to be best friends. He told me to make sure I apologized for jumping to conclusions when I saw Millie’s face. And I am sorry for that. I just saw her there, crying and bloody, and I don’t know you. I’d never seen her like that before and…” He trailed off, shrugging as if that explained it all. “I’m sorry.”

  Hunter pushed himself up to his full height, “I forgive you. Like you said, you don’t know me very well. Not yet. But you should know I will never, ever, hurt her.”

  Colin stared at him and then smiled again, “You know when she called last minute to say she was bringing a date, I thought this whole thing was some sort of charade. I thought maybe she was trying to prove to all of us that she’d moved on by bringing someone to the wedding. Reed though, he called it from the minute he saw you with her. He said you’re absolutely crazy about her and he was right, wasn’t he?”

  “One hundred percent.”

  “Good.” Colin pushed up to his full height too, “She deserves a good man. After what Joshua’s done to her, I’m glad she was able to open up to you and let you in. I’m glad she has you in her life.”

  Hunter accepted the kind words with a nod and a smile. He didn’t know what else to say. He and Colin hadn’t gotten off on the right foot but they were rectifying the situation. They had time to fix it. Just so long as Millie didn’t shut him out or push him away when she woke up, Hunter had time to make her brother see that he only wanted the best for Millie too.

  “Can I ask… Where’s that bastard at now?”

  “Not here.” Colin’s scowl returned. “I had a little talk with him after you got Millie out of there. He lied to me. He hurt my sister. And then to top it all off, he tried to blame her for it. He actually had the balls to try and tell me she forced his hand. That it was her fault. That she’d brought it on herself.”

  “That son of a bitch, I’m going to find him and hurt him, badly.” Hunter growled but Colin held up a hand.

  “You won’t find him. Not here. I had him escorted off the property and security has been told his access here is revoked. He won’t be giving Millie any more trouble this weekend, or ever if I have any say in it. I already informed our father that when I return from my honeymoon, I expect Joshua’s office at the company to be cleaned out too. As of a half hour ago, he’s no longer a part of our lives in any way and Millie will never have to see his face again.”

  “Good.”

  Colin glanced at his watch and gave a heavy sigh, “Look, I need to go take care of some wedding issues that have arisen due to my sudden lack of a Best Man. Please tell Millie to come find me when she wakes up, will you?”

  “Sure.” Hunter raised an eyebrow, “So, the wedding is still on?”

  “Of course it is.” Colin looked at him as if he’d said something stupid, “You think I’d call it off because Reed kept a secret from me? No. We talked. We’re rational adults. We love each other and we’re getting married, today, as planned. I lost him once and I won’t risk losing him again over something that Millie should’ve told me in the first place. I may be short a Best Man but the real best man has always been the man I’m marrying.”

  That made Hunter smile, “We’ll come down when Millie’s feeling up to it.”

  “Don’t rush her. She’s dealt with a lot and not just today or this weekend. I’ll understand if she isn’t up for wedding festivities or standing in front of all those people after what she suffered today. It’ll always be the happiest day of my life, marrying Reed, but I know for her it won’t be easy to put aside what Joshua did to her. I won’t blame her if she misses us saying our vows, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”

  Hunter shook his head, “You can tell her that yourself when she wakes up. I will say, Millie’s far stronger and more resilient than you think she is. You two will talk and you’ll work it out. You’re family and in my experience, that means everything.”

  “You have a sister?”

  “A half-sister, and she’s a lot younger than me. We’re not as close as I’d like for us to be but I do have two brothers that I work with on a daily basis. We fight. We disagree. But in the end, we’re family and we’re always there
for each other.”

  Colin met his gaze, “You seem like a good man, Hunter St. James. Please don’t let me down.”

  “I don’t intend to let her down and that’s what’s important.” Hunter saw Colin check his watch again and motioned for him to go. “Go. I should get back in there in case she wakes up.”

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  Hunter said goodbye and then let himself back into the room. Millie was still asleep. She looked so small in the big bed and he immediately wanted to crawl back in and hold her tight. He didn’t dare though for fear that he’d wake her. Instead he sat on the small bench where he’d offered to sleep the night before and watched her for a long time, waiting for her to open her eyes so that he would know where they went from here.

  He only hoped wherever it was, that it was together.

  13

  Millie woke slowly from a deep sleep. She yawned, feeling groggy and out of sorts, but the second her mouth stretched open the pain shot through her jaw and her eyes flew open. She jerked her hand up, covering her mouth and then, hesitantly, touching the puffy skin and feeling the sharp sting that made it all come rushing back to her.

  She hadn’t been dreaming. It hadn’t been just another nightmare. It had all really happened.

  She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and jerked upright. Her heart raced and it took her a second to orientate herself. She was in her childhood bedroom. She was in bed. The man sitting across from her wasn’t Joshua. She wasn’t in danger. She was safe because Hunter was here, with her, watching over her.

  He looked worried though. His gold green eyes studied her intently from beneath his furrowed brow. His hair was disheveled, as if he’d run his hands through it a hundred times. Deep lines of concern framed his mouth, which was firmly pressed into a thin line. He looked tired but he wasn’t in bed with her. He was sitting on the bench beside the bed and he made no move towards her even though it was clear he’d been waiting for her to wake up.

  It was such a small space between them, just a few feet, but in that moment, it felt like a canyon had split open between them.

  It was her own fault. She knew that. She’d kept her secrets close and she’d hoped that Hunter wouldn’t find them out. She’d had no intention of telling him about the hell Joshua had put her through but it didn’t matter now. He knew because he’d seen it with his own eyes. He’d been forced to come to her rescue. He’d had to deal with her brother all but accusing him of being the one to hurt her.

  After all he’d seen, all he’d heard and had to do, she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that he wasn’t jumping to wrap her back in his arms. She assumed he was here, now, only for an explanation on what she’d been thinking walking them both into this situation without giving him a heads up. Her bottom lip trembled at the idea that soon enough the only place he would be walking was out the door and out of her life.

  Millie dropped her head into her hands and felt a tear leak down her cheek. She was such an idiot. How had she thought this was all going to turn out? She’d known bringing Hunter here was a bad idea from the moment she set eyes on him outside her building. The fact that he’d said he had feelings for her, that she could so easily fall for his sweet words and passionate kisses didn’t change anything. She was still a mess and now that he knew the truth, he couldn’t possibly still think she was perfect. The thought of losing Hunter hurt worse than her cheek but she tried to keep the tears at bay and hold it together so that he wouldn’t think she was more pathetic than he already must.

  “Hey.” The bed shifted under Hunter’s weight a moment before he gently put his hands over hers and pried them away from her face, “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t hide from me, Mills.”

  She stared at him from watery eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

  “Shh.” He whispered, releasing one of her hands so he could use his to swipe tears from her cheek, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I-I do.” She argued, “I owe you an explanation.

  “You don’t owe me anything.”

  “I do, though. You’re here because Lemon asked you to do me a favor and I didn’t tell you-“

  “Millie.” He cut her off, raising his voice above a whisper for the first time, “Look at me.” He waited until she hesitantly raised her eyes to his before he softly stroked her hair back and leaned forward. He looked her right in the eyes when he said, “I’m not here because of Lemon. I’m here because you’re here, and because I want to be wherever you are. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

  Her eyes flooded with tears again and she threw herself into his arms before she could second-guess herself. He wasn’t looking at her like he was disappointed. He still looked at her like she was special and important and it tore her chest wide open. His words, the way he looked at her and touched her so gently, it reached somewhere deep down inside of her that she’d thought would be empty forever. Hunter caught her, just as she’d known he would, and he hugged her to his chest as she marveled at the fact that this amazing, kind, handsome, protective man still wanted her.

  “Hunter.” She whispered against his chest.

  “Shh.” He whispered again, brushing her hair back as he kept her cuddled in his arms, her head against his chest, “I told you. You don’t owe me an explanation, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here. It doesn’t have to be right now. It doesn’t have to be anytime soon. I don’t plan on going anywhere, babe. We’ve got all the time in the world. Remember?”

  Millie nodded against his chest. She wanted, desperately, to take the easy way out he was giving her. She wanted to let him hold her. She wanted to let him put her back together. But she knew that until she came clean, the truth would always be standing between them. She hadn’t lied to him, per se, but she’d omitted things, big things, and she couldn’t imagine them moving forward, together, the way she wanted them to, if she didn’t confess what she’d been hiding from him and from all the people in her life that loved her.

  Did Hunter love her? She wasn’t sure. He’d told Joshua that he did, but that had been in the heat of the moment. Did he love her for real, though? And if he did, would he still after she told him about her past? There was only one way to find out.

  “I met Joshua when I was too young to even remember my life without him in it.” She swallowed past the knot in her throat and let Hunter pull her into his lap. She spoke from her space beneath his chin. This place, with him, felt safe, so she mustered all her courage and let go of everything she’d been holding in for years. “I was half in love with him before I ever really knew him, or myself for that matter. He was my brother’s best friend and I wanted his attention so bad, that when he gave it to me, I never stopped to think that having it was more of a curse than a dream come true.”

  Hunter stroked her back reassuringly, “Was he always abusive?”

  “Yes. No. Maybe. That’s the thing, I don’t know. I don’t even remember. He was always pushing me to be better, to want more, to be the girl he wanted me to be. It was mostly just verbal at first. He wore me down until I felt like I couldn’t make a single choice without having his input. If I didn’t agree with him, he made me feel stupid so, I agreed with him, about everything. It was easier that way and I was young. God, I was so, so young. I didn’t realize that relationships were supposed to be different than what we had. It took me a long time, way too long, to realize he didn’t want me, that he wanted a puppet he could manipulate.”

  Another tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away. Hunter kissed the top of her head. He was so warm and strong. She knew that a lot of people would wonder why he didn’t scare her after what Joshua had done, but those people didn’t understand. It wasn’t about being big. It wasn’t about brute strength or muscle mass. It was about what was on the inside and she knew, instinctively, that the protective streak that guided everything Hunter did meant that he could never, ever, hurt her the way Joshua had.

  She let out a shaky breath, “The first time he hi
t me, it was like he’d snapped. It really seemed like an out of body experience. It happened so fast and he apologized immediately. He hugged me and told me he was sorry and that he would never do it again. He swore he hadn’t meant for it to happen. He said he’d only lashed out because I’d made him so mad. It was my fault.”

  “It was never your fault.” Hunter’s voice was low and gravelly.

  “I know that now but then…” She shook her head, “I believed him. I believed everything he said. He was it for me, my whole world. He’d made sure of that. So when it happened again, and again, I knew it was wrong but I didn’t know how to make him stop. His family and mine, they’d planned for us to be together all our lives and leaving him, giving up on him, it felt like I’d be letting all of them down if I couldn’t make it work with him. Every time it happened it only made me more certain that I had to try harder to be the girl he wanted me to be, the girl they all wanted me to be.”

  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry you felt like you didn’t have anyone to talk to.” Hunter hugged her tight when her voice cracked.

  “Abusers do that. I know that now. When I finally left him, I went to counseling. I read the books. I know now that what Joshua and I had was never love. Not for him at least. It was about possession and manipulation. Sociopaths don’t love, they control. I realized after just how bad things had been, hindsight being 20/20 and all, but I also knew that it could have been a lot worse for me. Some women never get away from their abusers.”

  “Don’t discount your pain because someone else might have had it worse, Millie. Don’t do that. It’s not a competition for God’s sake.”

  “I know. I’m just trying to tell you the whole story. I’m trying to tell you that even after I left Joshua, it was hard to face up to what I’d let him do to me all those years. I was embarrassed and I was angry and I was humiliated. I didn’t want my family to find out. Joshua had convinced me that even if I told Dad or Colin that they wouldn’t believe me, eventually he convinced me that they already knew, and that they just didn’t care.”