Imperfect Saint

by Jess Bryant

  “Baby, that’s not true at all. Your brother and your father care about you very much.”

  Millie nodded and forced herself to continue, “The last time he hurt me, before today, before I left him, it was because he thought I was cheating on him. He was always ridiculously jealous of every man in my life. He thought… well, he thought I was sleeping with Thad.”

  “What?” Hunter barked out a laugh and she felt a flicker of warmth in her chest at the sound.

  “He thought Thad and I were sneaking around when we were on tour with Lemon.”

  “Thad is the most happily married man I’ve ever met in my life.” Hunter snorted, “Except maybe for Lemon’s husband because that guy has got it bad.”

  “I know. It’s crazy. I knew it was crazy. But I couldn’t convince Joshua of that.”

  Hunter’s smile withered, “What did he do?”

  “We were supposed to go to a release party for Lemon’s album and I put on this beautiful black and gold sequin dress that I’d bought specifically for the occasion.” Her throat tightened at the memory and she closed her eyes, “Joshua lost it. He grabbed me by the throat and slammed me into the wall. He said I looked like a whore, which was fitting since that’s what I was. He… He said a lot of cruel things and then… then he ripped the dress off me, just shredded it to pieces and when I tried to pick them up, to cover myself, he….”

  “Millie, you don’t have to tell me.” Hunter crooned softly when her throat went tight but she shook her head and forced out the words that she’d never told anyone.

  “He pushed me down the stairs at our townhouse and he left me there, curled up on the floor, crying, a bruise wrapped around my neck, and blood staining the floor beneath me.”

  “Blood?” Hunter’s voice was a harsh whisper, “Jesus, Millie…”

  “He… He didn’t know. I’d only realized it a few days before and I hadn’t told him yet. I’d convinced myself that I was keeping it a secret until I found the perfect time to tell him but after… once it was over, I knew the truth. I’d been scared to tell him. Scared of what he’d do. Scared of what it would mean for me… and for the baby inside of me.”

  Hunter went still beneath her, barely even breathing, “Oh, Mills. You were…?”

  “Pregnant.” She hiccupped the word, fighting off another round of tears, “He killed our baby before it could even be called a baby and that was when I knew, I had to find a way out.”

  “And you did.”

  “It took me a long time though. I didn’t just pick myself up and leave him, Hunter. I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough. I stayed and I hated myself for it. I hated him with everything I had. But still I stayed, trying to find a way out that wouldn’t end in even more violence.”

  Hunter’s voice was low again and she could practically hear his jaw grinding. “It doesn’t matter how long it took you, Mills. You got out. You got away from him. I’m just so sorry you went through that and worse, that you’ve carried it around all this time alone, feeling like you couldn’t tell anyone.”

  “I should have told Colin.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek, “Maybe if I had…”

  When she trailed off, Hunter sighed, “Your brother came by while you were sleeping. He was so worried about you and so upset that you hadn’t told him. He feels guilty for not seeing it and for trying to push you back towards your ex. He’s mad that Reed knew and didn’t tell him too but he knows it was your story to tell and he’d like to hear it I think.”

  “So Reed really did know.” Millie frowned, “How?”

  “Colin said Reed told him that he saw you two once, at a dinner, and it was the way Joshua grabbed you. He put two and two together.”

  “Because of his dad.” Millie groaned, “Jesus, how did I forget about that? Of course Reed noticed it. He’d seen it before. His dad left when he was little but he was…”

  “Colin told me.” Hunter kissed the top of her head. “Seems like you and Reed have more in common than you realized and so do Colin and I.”

  “You and Colin?” She pulled back to look up at Hunter finally, unable to figure out what he meant.

  A small, sad smile flickered across his handsome face, “Isn’t it obvious? We’re both crazy protective of the people we love.”

  “Hunter…” Her heart leapt and tears instantly blurred her vision again when he said that word.

  Love. Was it possible? Could he love her? Despite all her flaws? Despite her secrets and lies and emotional baggage?

  “Shh.” He dropped his forehead to hers, “We’ve got time to talk about that. I told you, I’m not going anywhere, and nothing you can say is going to convince me that you’re anything less than perfect, Millie.”

  She pulled back a little and shook her head, “I told you I’m not perfect though, that I’m broken and now you’ve seen why for yourself.”

  “You’re not broken.”

  “I am.”

  “Even if you were, I wouldn’t care. I’d still think you were perfect, cracks and all. I still want you. I still want to be with you. Nothing is going to change my mind about that.”

  Her bottom lip trembled, “You don’t want to be with me, Hunter. I’ve been keeping so much bottled up inside me. I’m a broke, fragile, ticking time bomb of a girl and I’m going to explode all over you if you don’t get away from me while you still can.”

  Hunter only smiled and pulled her back into his arms, “It’s funny you say that.”

  “Why?” She was confused by his smile.

  “Do you know what I did in the Army, Mills?”

  She shook her head and his smile grew.

  “I defused bombs, baby.” He wrapped one hand around the back of her head and pulled her closer, “I can handle you. I promise.”

  “But why would you want to?”

  “You know why.” He whispered, meeting her gaze, telling her the words again without saying them.

  Millie leaned forward and kissed him. She couldn’t keep from it a second longer. He hesitated for a moment, no doubt surprised, but he let out a low groan that she thought was surrender and wrapped his hands in her hair, holding her as he kissed her back. It wasn’t a passion fueled kiss. It wasn’t for show or because something about their body chemistry made them irresistible to each other. It was sweet and full of promise and she never wanted it to end, even when her bruised lip protested the weight of his kisses.

  Hunter separated their mouths just enough to ask, “Does this hurt?”

  “No.” She lied, pulling him closer again.

  “Don’t lie to me, Mills. Don’t you ever lie to me.”

  She smiled, “Okay, it hurts a little but it’s worth it. It’s a good hurt.”

  Hunter peppered her jaw in kisses, avoiding her busted lip and the cheek that must have been sporting one hell of a bruise by now, “I don’t ever want to hurt you. Not even the good kind of hurt.”

  “Hunter.”

  “Hmm?” He was nuzzling her ear now.

  “Look at me?”

  He did, instantly, his eyes tracing her face, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just want to tell you that you make me feel safe and you might not know how special that makes you, but I want you to. I want to show you that you’re perfect too. And I don’t want to lose you.” She whispered, afraid to give voice to her own feelings when she’d already dumped so many of them on him today.

  “We have all the time in the world, beautiful.” Hunter smiled softly, kissing the end of her nose and then her chin, “First though, you need to talk to your brother and get all of this sorted out before the wedding.”

  She gasped, “Oh God, the wedding. I ruined the wedding, didn’t I?”

  “No.” He said firmly, “No. You didn’t ruin anything. It’s still on. It’s still happening tonight. Colin is only short a Best Man but he said that’s not going to stop him from marrying the man he loves.”

  Millie’s eyes widened, “What did he do with Joshua?”

  “K
icked him out of the wedding and off the premises. Told him that he wasn’t welcome here anymore and that he should clean out his office at the record label. He won’t be a part of Colin’s life, or yours, anymore so you don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Oh wow.”

  “I told you Colin was upset.” Hunter played with a strand of her hair, “He also said if you’re not up to coming downstairs for the wedding that they would understand, but he still wants to talk to you.”

  Millie flinched as if she’d been kicked all over again, “He doesn’t want me in the wedding?”

  “Of course he does. He was only giving you an easy out if you needed one.”

  “I think I’m tired of taking the easy way out of things. I tried avoiding my past, denying it, pretending it didn’t exist, but it didn’t save me any of the heartache. The truth might be harder to face but at least I won’t have to carry it alone this way. I’m done avoiding the hard parts of my life.”

  Hunter’s lips quirked, “Then I think you need to start by talking to your brother.”

  “You’re right.” Millie bit the inside of her cheek as she thought of Colin downstairs rearranging wedding details so that his perfectly planned ceremony could still go off without a hitch even missing a Best Man and a Maid of Honor.

  No, that wasn’t happening. Joshua had ruined too many happy days for her already. He wasn’t taking this from her. She wasn’t missing her brother’s wedding.

  “I need to go talk to him and make this right.”

  “Woah, hold on a second there, beautiful.” Hunter caught her by the wrist as she slid from his lap and began untangling the blankets from around her. “While I’m all for this wildly natural look you’ve got going on, I’m going to have to insist you put some more clothes on if you’re going downstairs.”

  Millie glanced down and realized she was wearing nothing but her bra and panties beneath the blankets. Her cheeks flushed and Hunter chuckled. It took her a moment to remember the shell-shocked shower he’d put her in earlier. She’d been so out of it that she’d forgotten she was mostly naked under the sheets. Her face heated as she also realized her wet hair had dried into a tangle and she had cried off all her makeup but Hunter only grinned as he pulled her between his legs and brushed his lips across hers softly.

  “You look beautiful, as always, but you should probably take another shower and get dressed before you go downstairs.” He smiled when she nodded, “And I think it’s best if you take this shower alone. I controlled myself earlier but I’m not sure I have the willpower to keep from touching you if we go in there again and you get all wet and soapy.”

  Millie blushed again at the words. Hunter’s kind of want was so new to her. It wasn’t overwhelming or overpowering. It wasn’t forceful or demanding. Hunter wanted her and he didn’t mind letting her know but he did it in the sweetest ways possible. His want was happy and fun and she knew that when they did, finally, come together, that it would be the most beautiful moment of her life.

  Because she hadn’t intended to let it happen, but Hunter was helping to heal her broken heart and in return, she was going to give it to him to keep safe, forever.

  14

  Hunter had never seen anything as beautiful as Millie in her bridesmaid dress. It was a soft, champagne color and it draped her body like a second skin, enhancing her curves and no doubt making every man in her presence wonder what she could possibly be wearing underneath it. Hunter knew he’d thought about that very thing more often than was socially acceptable since the backdoor of the house opened and she walked down the aisle, sneaking him a secretive smile as she took her place at the altar beside her brother.

  Her hair was down again, loose curls flowing over her shoulders and spilling down her back. Hunter hoped that the plan had always been for her hair to be down. He didn’t like the thought lurking in the back of his mind that said some hairdresser had suggested the look to cover the bruises instead. He wanted Millie to look and feel as beautiful as she was, not like she had to hide any part of her, not from him, or anyone.

  Her gorgeous face was made up with subtle shades of makeup that enhanced her eyes and lips and made it nearly impossible for anyone that wasn’t looking for it to see the bruise on her cheek. He supposed there was even makeup on her arms to cover the fingertip bruises from where that bastard had grabbed her because even to his trained eyes, he couldn’t make out the marks he knew were there.

  Again he hoped that covering the bruises had been Millie’s choice and not the hair or makeup girls, not her father or her brother or anyone else.

  After everything she’d been through, Hunter didn’t want anyone else making decisions for her. That asshole ex of hers had been controlling her all their lives. He’d told her what she could and couldn’t wear, what she should say and do. Even before Joshua had taken the reins, Millie’s father had been the one making decisions for her. Millie had spent so many years letting other people tell her who to be that she was only just learning how to stand up for herself and make her own choices.

  Hunter intended to make sure that from here on out, every choice she made was hers and hers alone.

  His beautiful, broken girl was so much stronger than anyone had ever given her credit for. Joshua had underestimated her. So had her father and even her brother. She’d underestimated herself, but not anymore. She was one of the strongest women he’d ever known and he was so damn proud to be the man that got to watch her grow and bloom into the woman she would become without all the weight she’d been carrying holding her back.

  Millie had spent the afternoon talking to her brother and then her father. That couldn’t have been easy for her but she’d insisted that it needed to be done before the wedding and she’d gone to face them down and tell them the truth without showing an ounce of fear or apprehension. Hunter had offered to go with her, to be by her side, and he’d tried not to take it personally when she said she needed to do it alone. He hadn’t wanted to let her out of his sight but he’d understood that if she didn’t stand on her own two legs now, then she might start to believe she couldn’t and he wouldn’t let that happen.

  It had been a crazy, hectic, and emotional day but the wedding had ended up going off almost without a hitch. There had been whispers from the guests who had only begun arriving for the wedding after the turmoil had subsided. Hunter had heard them talking amongst themselves, wondering aloud where Joshua was and why he wasn’t standing up as a member of the wedding party when the program clearly showed him as Best Man. Hunter knew enough about Nashville society to know that the exile of Joshua Bell from the Turner mansion would be big news in these circles, but luckily nobody that knew of the incident had seemed keen to gossip, at least not yet.

  The wedding itself was beautiful. The couple’s three-legged rescue dog, Hoppy, had carried the rings down the aisle like a champ. Colin and Reed spoke handwritten vows to each other. They pledged their lives and their hearts to one another. There had been sniffles throughout the crowd of guests when they’d finally kissed to seal their fate and it had been none other than Chuck Turner who stood up first, his loud voice booming his congratulations and his clapping drowning out everyone else as he gave his son a nod of approval that seemed to have been decades in the making.

  Everyone had broken into groups as the wedding planner herded them inside for a quick snack and refreshments. The wedding party had gone somewhere else on the property to take photos so Hunter had grabbed a beer and found a relatively quiet corner to people watch. Directly on schedule a bell rang and the back doors of the house opened again thirty minutes later to let the guests back outside for the start of the reception.

  Hunter stared at the backyard in awe all over again as he followed the mass of people outside. The wedding scene that had been there barely a half hour ago had been wiped away and in its place stood a stage complete with a live band, a giant dance floor, small cocktail tables fringed the space with larger dining tables pushed further back for those that wanted to s
it, eat and talk. The twinkle lights were back too, draping through the trees and giving the evening that magical, special quality that was reserved solely for weddings.

  And in the middle of it all, he caught sight of Millie standing on the edge of the dance floor, smiling up at him as she caught his eyes and holding out her hand.

  It took everything in him not to shove the older couple standing between them aside so that he could rush to her. He felt like he hadn’t seen her in ages even if it had been a mere half hour. He hadn’t been able to touch her in hours since she’d gone to hair and makeup and then been sequestered with the wedding party while guests were seated. He needed to feel her in his arms, to hold her and remind himself that she was here, she was whole, and she was his.

  Hunter took big strides towards her and then bypassed her offered hand altogether, instead sliding his arms around his waist and picking her up. He spun and Millie giggled. Her arms went around his neck, holding tight to him as she laughed. He glanced up and watched the play of lights on her dark hair, glinting off the edges of the extra pair of glasses she’d dug out of her purse, and he ached to kiss her glossy pink lips.

  “Millie.” He sighed as he stopped spinning them and let her body slowly slide against his until her face was directly in front of his, “You take my breath away.”

  Her smile turned soft at the corners and one of her hands came forward to cup his cheek, “When you look at me like that…”

  “What?” He prompted when her gaze drifted to his mouth.

  “You make me feel special.”

  “It’s not hard. You are special, Mills.” He leaned forward and brushed their lips together, just the smallest, briefest touch, “Getting to be anywhere near you makes me feel special too.”