TAT Box Set

by Emjay Soren

  Tears were falling in abundance while I tried to make my mind work but my words wouldn’t come. I could hear his voice but the words weren’t making sense. I think he kicked me to hard, my head was throbbing and a pain was lancing deeply through my stomach making me want to vomit. I saw the phone on the floor light up but still I didn’t hear anything, it continued to light up every few seconds and didn’t stop. I felt hopeless then, my mind coming back online, I knew it was probably Seth calling me curious what happened. He must not have heard my screams.

  I wanted to curl up and die due to the pain in my stomach, each time I coughed I could taste the coppery thickness of blood and I knew he definitely hit me too hard.

  “Why?” I choked, blood seeping from the side of my mouth. His laughter was something I wasn’t used to. He never laughed or smiled, never showed a moment of kindness. The man was a sociopath with no moral compass. He was all ego, always had been. His being a Lieutenant for Seattle PD had made him the fearless man he was today. “I called Seth, he’s on his way you’ll be arrested and we will tell everything!”

  I spat those words with all the hate and disgust I held for him. I was tired of being afraid, tired of memories that would never go away. I was tired of seeing Noah’s needles every few years when he couldn’t take it. I was tired of justifying why we stayed silent and ran. I was tired of TRUST ME and how it did me no good now. I wanted him to rot in hell forever and a day. I wanted to kill him, slowly and that thought terrified me because I knew I would feel no shame.

  “Please Princess, remember who I am and bite your tongue. Seth aint doing shit. As far as the police department here, let the four cops in Gig Harbor come running.” He laughed and it was cocky and fearless. Jesus, fuck I hated him.

  “I don’t care. Noah has proof and you know it.”

  “You would let your precious Noah embarrass himself and you with that ‘proof’ just to see me behind bars?”

  He said the word proof with a smirk and I knew he thought we were bluffing, but we took no chances when it came to him. We set him up and he would never find our proof. “Keep telling yourself that. I will stand before any jury and rattle off my years of sexual abuse, Noah’s physical abuse and the mental abuse to us both. I will give every grimy detail to your fellow officers. There is nothing I won’t do at this point to see you suffer.” The pain in my stomach is making it hard to breathe, combined with the rib pain and the head wound I was close to passing out. Passing out in my state was bad fucking news.

  “How can you call what I did for you abuse? Sexual assault my ass Caroline. You begged me at times to take you, I was giving in to you at your request.”

  Yep I puked again, blood splashed against the floor, blood from my stomach and the pain was so severe I couldn’t open my eyes. “We will find a way to kill you. I swear to god I will do it myself…”

  The pain took hold and I couldn’t finish my threat. Even in my worst moment of weakness, I refused to back down to him, refused to accept whatever he came to finish.

  “Not if I kill first Caroline.” He said and bent, pressing against my stomach. Pain thrashed against every nerve in my body, whatever he hit was bleeding and bad. I was dying right here and he was going to let me. I only had one card to play, this was my only hand.

  “The minute my heart stops Noah will find you, kill you but not before he destroys you. Word gets out I’m dead, he has three different people holding those tapes and pictures. There won’t be a place for you to hide and when he kills you, I’ll be there dragging your ass to hell and watching you burn. Dad!”

  My final words might have been bad ass but the feel of my body fading rapidly terrified me. Thoughts of Chad giving me flowers, thoughts of Noah sneaking me out windows, thoughts of Candy smiling when she looked at Noah, and last I saw Chad with Trisha and it all made sense. He was nervous at the meet and greet, scared she would tell me the truth perhaps? I would never know.

  The lights went out and I was gone.

  If this world is wearing thin

  And you’re thinking of escape

  I’ll go anywhere with you

  Just wrap me up in chains

  But if you try to go alone

  Don’t think I’ll understand

  Stay with me

  Stay with me

  Shakespeare’s Sister

  Chapter Twenty-One

  A low beeping noise rose me from my sleep, my head weighed a million pounds and every move I made felt like a million UFC fighters were kicking the shit out of me. My jaw hurt and I tried to move my mouth but couldn’t open it, or my eyes. Panic set in, the beeping getting faster but I knew nothing, trapped in a state between sleep and reality.

  No clue where I was I just prayed that I wasn’t still at home bleeding out on the floor, or worse, waiting to meet my dad on a trip to hell. Panic remembering everything he said, everything he did. I puked blood; I remembered the pain but nothing after my threat of vicious murder. Had I killed him? I hoped like hell I had. Was I dead now and this was my punishment for hiding and lying about the truth? That’s when I heard it, faint but heard it all the same. “What is that, what’s happening?” It was Noah’s voice, panic and duress lining every syllable. I wanted to tell him to wake me up, but it was like everything was broken.

  “Her heart rate is up, but her vitals are good.” It was a woman’s voice, sweet and gentle. I knew immediately it wasn’t Candy. I wanted it to be Candy, I wanted to hear her voice in case I died. I loved her, she was my best friend and sister of my heart. I always teased her and never told her how amazing a friend she was to me.

  “Noah you should go home and rest sweetie. She is still induced for her own safety, a few more days and we will know more.”

  Induced? What the fuck did that mean? I was in a coma maybe? Did I survive? Was I out of the woods? Fuck I wished they would talk more about my condition. I whimpered when I tried to move, I just wanted to hold his hand so he knew I heard him but pain attacked me at every turn.

  “No because she moves and it hurts her I can see it. What if it gives her a heart attack or worse? I’ll stay right the fuck here but thanks anyway Brenda.” Noah sounded hurt and scared and sad, things he never let me see let alone hear. It was weird being alert, knowing what was going on around me, but still unable to move or awaken, like my brain was awake but my body was saying fuck off.

  “We can control the pain Noah you know that. At least go eat.” That was the Brenda lady again but I didn’t get any other information because my mind shut down that quick shutting me off from any information scaring me as I drifted into dreamless sleep wondering if I would ever wake up.

  *

  “Noah please just get some rest.” Candy begged and I wanted to smile at her voice. I was back but I didn’t know how long I had been gone this time. It kept happening, every now and then I would hear them talking, Noah a lot and often Candy too. A few times I heard aunt Lilly crying and begging me to stay strong and fight. That was the only time I knew Noah left the room.

  Noah only talked when nobody was around. He would talk to me, play trust me when it was just us but he never said a word to me, even joking, when others were around. I knew he worried and I wished they would wake me up and see I could think straight.

  The last time a Dr was in the room and I could hear them, he was saying my brain function was perfect and that I should make a full recovery, from what I had no clue. They had put me in an induced coma for pain management, so whatever it was that was broken, was seriously fucking broken.

  Nobody talked about my dad, where he was or what happened. It was like I’m just appeared hurt and asleep in this bed with no rhyme or reason. I knew my dad wasn’t dead though, because I overheard Noah telling someone I couldn’t hear that he was dead the first chance Noah had.

  I needed to wake up, fought it so hard when I heard that. Noah would destroy his future and I knew it. He would gladly walk away from fame, from tattooing from me, all of it, if it meant he had the joy of killi
ng our dad.

  I had wondered briefly if it was Chad he was talking to. I missed his voice and waited each time I was alert I waited for his voice and was sadly disappointed. I feared he was with Trisha, or that he found out what she told me. Worse was if Candy confronted Noah, who in turn confronted Chad…

  I really needed to wake the fuck up.

  *

  “I got you Sissy….” Noah’s voice was a distant sound that I was trying my best to follow. “C’mon Carrie open your eyes please.” He sounded so far away and I wanted to scream and ask where he was.

  I tried to open my mouth and yell, but it came out garbled and raw fire burned down my throat. I was thirsty and lost and blind.

  “Open em’ Carrie c’mon. I know you hear me, I see your lips moving and your making noises…” He was pleading with me but I was helpless and tired, my head felt clouded and muddy, my body was hurting and I just wanted sleep…

  *

  I looked around the room confused for long minutes. It was dark but not pitch black. The last rays of the sun were coming through the window and painting the room in a dark dusky orange that reminded me of twilight on the bay and the sand turning the same color.

  I could hear the beeping of monitors and could feel the wires and needles all over me. I was groggy and in some serious pain, but I knew just after a glance that I was in the hospital. My eyes roamed to the door where I saw Noah’s back as he leaned against the side of the door, in a heated discussion with someone I couldn’t see.

  “Noah…” I cried my throat dry and my voice sounding like I ate gravel. He spun and rushed to me in three long strides grabbing my hand and touching my shoulder. He bent down to look at my face, inspecting every inch of me before kissing me softly on top of my head. Just touching my head that gently sent shards of pain behind my eyes and I winced.

  “Let me get the nurse Sissy.” He choked and I looked up to see tears streaming down his face. I had never, not once, seen Noah cry. His tears shattered me, my own tears welling at the raw pain mixed with relief in his eyes. “Nurse!” He yelled not bothering to leave. “Sleeping Beauty woke up.”

  I try to sit up and hug him but my body feels weightless and is sore from neck to toe. “What happened? I remember fighting with dad…” My voice trailed off suddenly terrified of how bad he hurt me…of how he hurt me. Noah must have seen the question in my eyes and he was immediately shaking his head no.

  “I made sure they checked you thoroughly Carrie. Rape kit, fingernails. Everything. He didn’t go there.”

  I nod slowly and look up when the nurse walks in. I see the name on her badge, Brenda it says and she smiles immediately. “Sleeping Beauty is awake and you were right Noah, her eyes are a wicked shade of blue.” She looks at the monitor and then to me, re-velcroing the cuff on my arm so she can assess my blood pressure. “Carrie, my name is Brenda I have been your nurse the last few days. Amongst keeping Noah here company.” She had twenty years on him easy but she was flirting anyway. Noah had that thing that all women fell for, Chad had it too so I’m sure if he was around, Nurse Brenda was crushing on him just as hard.

  “I’m gonna go call Dr Harding and let him know your awake and talking, which is good. He should be here shortly, but let me check a few more things and then I’ll leave you be.” She smiled sweetly and started asking me a slew of questions, before leaving with a promise of a glass of water.

  “What am I in here for exactly?” I ask Noah after Brenda leaves.

  “What do you remember?” He asks and leans back in his chair, but keeps his hand in mine.

  “I remember telling him I would kill him and if I didn’t get the chance then I would be waiting to see him in hell and watch him burn.” A shudder worked through my body remembering the look of vacancy in his eyes right before I passed out.

  “You said that?” He asked me with a smile, pride lacing each word and I nodded wincing at the pounding pain in my head.

  “He kicked me in the ribs and stomach and the back of my head, but I don’t know if he hit me after I passed out.”

  Noah winced and looked away and I immediately knew it was worse. “Get me a mirror?” I asked not sure he would do it. The minute I told him what I knew and saw his wince, the pain from my lips and nose, my jaw, I felt it all and knew he had continued to hurt me long after I stopped fighting.

  Noah was there with the mirror, a look of discomfort lacing his features. “That bad huh?” I ask and smile weakly taking the mirror and gasping at the sight. Both of my eyes are swollen and a red tinted purple fading into a deep black/blue. My lip has two splits on the right side and my jaw is blue and swollen. I have stitches in two places on my forehead, three small stitches along my right eye and it looks like eight along my hairline in the center.

  “Wow, he really nailed me.” I try for light hearted and fail miserably.

  “I’m so fucking sorry Carrie.” He whispers and it takes me back to the days we tried to save one another. There were just too many unneeded apologies between us.

  “Why Noah? I left of my own free will and knew the dangers. I called Seth and asked him to come get me.” I remember watching the phone with everything I had while screaming hoping he heard me.

  Noah nodded knowingly and I figured Seth had explained. “Do we know where he is? Did he run?” The he being our dad.

  Noah looked away and I knew whatever he was hiding would be bad. “Whatever it is just tell me Noah?” I spoke through my own rapid heartbeat, the one that was making my monitor go berserk.

  Noah never one for dragging things out cut right to the chase. “Seth got there when the police did and told them to beat down the door. Dad was naked and so were you, tied and bound on the table. The cops took him in and Seth called me told me to meet him at the station.” He looked away before he continued.

  “Dad admitted everything Carrie. Every.Fucking. Thing.”

  Holy fuck!

  “Holy fuck!” I gasp and Noah nods finally looking toward me.

  “All our secrets are out. I gave a statement to the press two days ago, as well as to the cops. I tried my best to explain without ruining our lives. Ryan Corbin sent over his PR staff to help spin our side so we didn’t get chewed up.”

  “Two days? How long have I been out?” I am terrified he will say years even though I know he won’t.

  “Ninety-seven hours and”- he looks to the clock on the wall- “thirty-one minutes.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “So it’s what? Sunday?” I am trying to do the math in my head but it’s difficult.

  “Saturday. Yesterday was your birthday. I rocked my ipod all day listening to really bad country music until I wanted to bang my head against the wall.” I looked around the room and saw the flowers, Jasmine, the same he always gave me. A bag of Smartfood popcorn was curled up on the table by the sink and a six pack of Wild Cherry Coke beside it.

  “When we going to the bar?” I ask with a smile knowing my brother all too well.

  “Let’s do a thing at a time here yeah?”

  I laugh and it hurts tremendously. Noah is immediately nervous again and I feel bad for all he has been through while I was asleep. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that the world knew my secrets, I just couldn’t.

  “Where’s Candy? Can you call her?” I want to see her and I know she can distract me from all the chaos and bull shit I am about to endure. I refuse to ask about Chad, of all the shit going on right now, it amazes me that the pain of his possible betrayal weighs the heaviest.

  “She’s on her way and should be here any minute now.” Dr. Harding walked in then and walked right to the bed. Dressed in his pristine white jacket, his name embroidered on the left pocket of his chest. He was tall, taller than Noah, and a serious hotty. Deep green eyes, green as moss and blonde hair with shades of brown. His jaw was chiseled in perfection with a perfect bow mouth.

  “Well I was wondering if Noah was telling the truth about those bright blue peep
ers.” He smiled and I liked him instantly. His hand outstretched to mine he introduced himself. “I’m Jeff Harding and I’ve been taking care of you these past four days. How’s about we do a run through for a physical and cover what’s going on and see what our next move is.”

  “Okay.” I reply and look to Noah, knowing what he means by physical and in reality he will poke and prod me in all my most painful places. It was best Noah got some air. “Can you call Aunt Lilly and Uncle Seth and ask them to come up?” It was the perfect distraction for him, that and I knew he would go smoke and probably call everyone important. I immediately thought of Chad and wanted to cry for some insane reason.

  “Are you in pain?” Dr Hotty asked before placing his stethoscope around his neck. I nod and lean back trying to relax. After an hour of explaining my ruptured spleen, three broken ribs and the mild swelling on my brain as well as a severe concussion, I felt like I could throw up. They had placed me in a medicated coma to help with the pain so my blood pressure and heart rate stayed low. By doing so they could administer stronger medications for the pain without damaging my brain. The rawness of my throat was from a breathing tube I had used for the first forty-eight hours.

  “If everything seems to stay in line and your vitals don’t go crazy, you should be free of this joint in a few days.”

  At the mention of the word joint I remembered the trust meeting and wondered what was going to happen now and hoped like hell Seth and Lilly wouldn’t get backlash from this. “Ok great.” I mumble my mind off in another place, only interrupted by my best friend.