Searching for the Answers

by Paige Orr

  I get up, grabbing the few things I have with me, before I head downstairs. When I walk into the kitchen, I find Lilith and Lucien sitting at the table eating breakfast. Walking over, I sit beside Lilith turning to watch her as she avoids my gaze. I won’t tell her this, but that shit fucking hurts. Being my usual self though, I pretend like it doesn’t affect me at all. I reach out, sliding my fingers through her hair, and tucking some stray strands behind her ear, causing her to finally turn my way. This girl steals my breath, she’s everything I ever imagined in my perfect woman, and knowing that she’s mine, is like my best dream came to life. I’ve always wanted someone to love. Yeah, I might have been a bit of a player, but that’s only because that’s what people expected of me. What I really want is a woman to love, and a family that won’t turn their backs on me.

  “Good morning my little dove, I was thinking that we could spend some time getting to know each other today. I know that yesterday was a bit of a shock for you and I totally get that. I would just like to spend some time with you, and show you who I really am. I’m not the guy I had to be while working for that vile man, you can even ask Aziel if you don’t believe me, he’s probably the only friend I have.” I watch her, as she takes a minute to think over my proposition, before she nods her head shyly.

  “Alright, we can spend the day in the garden. Apart from yesterday, I haven’t left the property since I was kidnapped. I just don’t feel very comfortable with the thought just yet, are you okay with that? There are a lot of really nice places to sit, and I would feel much safer here. I want to give you a shot at proving yourself. I just find it really hard to trust anyone. The rest of the guys had to go through the same shit, I just need to get some things clear in my head, then I’m sure we’ll get along fine, I’m not a complete bitch.” I can’t stop the shock and anger brewing inside me, you would think someone would have taken the time to let me know that she’d been fucking kidnapped! I can see her cowering at my expression, and feel like a fucking dickhead, as I rush to explain myself to her.

  “I’m not angry at you dove, I’m angry at all the people who’ve hurt you. Also I wish the guys had told me about the kidnapping, now I really feel like a fucking prick for the way I grabbed you yesterday. Can you forgive me for being such a fucking fool? I can promise you I won’t grab you in anyway ever again, unless you want me to.” A small smile twitches at the corner of her mouth, as she looks down at her food, nodding her head at me.

  “I know you had no idea, so you don’t have to apologize. It’s not like you hurt me. I got a little bit of a fright, but you distracted me, remember?” She laughs at my shocked expression, but what does she expect, she’s been so shy around me that I wasn’t expecting this sass from her. I try to cover my smile with my hand, I could really get used to her sassy mouth, I just wish she was doing something else with it, if you catch my drift. I really do think that everything will work itself out, even if it does take a bit of work from me, it will be completely worth it to have this amazing woman in my life.

  She finishes eating, standing up and telling me she’s going to get changed, I watch as she walks out of the room. Turning, I find Lucien staring at me quizzically, I get these guys aren’t going to trust me yet, but they could really give a guy a break. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, so they’re going to have to get used to having me around.

  Lilith

  I stand there staring at my clothes in frustration, I don’t even get why I’m feeling so nervous, it’s not like this is supposed to be a date or anything, but there’s just something about Aiden that makes me feel like a schoolgirl invited to prom by her crush. I don’t necessarily get the feeling that he’s a danger to me or will put me at risk anymore. I think it’s just the fact I don’t know him, that sounds really stupid since I don’t really know Aziel either, but he didn’t have my panties melting off as he had me pinned to a wall within moments of meeting him. I don’t think I’ve ever actually met a guy who makes me lose myself like that before, sure when I met the others I could clearly see they were smoking hot. I’m not blind after all, but I didn’t instantly try to rip my fucking panties off for them.

  I finally say fuck it, just putting a t-shirt and leggings on, I want to be comfortable, and it’s not like I need to impress anyone either. Aiden will like me without all the fuss, or he won’t, that’s his problem not mine! Heading back downstairs, I find Aiden and Lucien staring each other down. Honestly men are fucking infuriating, I can literally picture them in my head trying to piss circles around me to mark their territory, and sure guys being a little possesive can be sexy, but really this shit feels more childish.

  I walk in catching Lucien’s eyes as I give him a disapproving look, and he turns his eyes away with a small blush covering the tops of his cheeks, looking severely embarrassed that I caught him in the act of being an overprotective ass. Aiden turns around, finally noticing me, and gives me a massive smile that lights up his whole face, that I can’t help but return. This boy always seems so fucking happy, I really don’t know how he does it. He’s too good at hiding all his negative emotions, and he makes even the most awkward situation a little bit easier to handle. He bounces to his feet, rushing towards me, and I turn to lead him out the back door. If I’m going to really get to know him, then being around the others isn’t going to work. They’re just as untrustworthy, and guys always act differently when you spend time alone with them, instead of when they’re around the lads.

  Pulling him along behind me, I make my way through the garden to one of the seating areas at the back of the flower displays and plop down on the bench. Closing my eyes, I just breath in the fresh air for a minute, being soothed by the smell of nature surrounding us. When I do open them, I find Aiden looking down at me with an unreadable expression, and feeling self conscious, I blush as I look away. I feel him sit down beside me, and I’m shocked when he delicately takes my hand in his, not expecting such a gentle gesture from Mr. Player. Turning to face him, I find him gazing at me like I’m the most important thing in the world, and I don’t really know how to feel about that. How I could mean anything to him when we only met yesterday is beyond me. I know that all of my guys grew up knowing what it meant to be someone's mate, but I don’t want any of them to force themselves to feel something they don’t actually feel. It really wouldn’t be fair to them, if I’m being completely honest with myself. My eyes are drawn to his lips, as his tongue pokes out, wetting his bottom one before he begins talking.

  “I know you probably feel awkward around me, but I wanted to give you the chance to ask me anything you want. I won’t lie to you, you deserve to know everything about me so you can make your mind up, if you think I’m trustworthy or not. I want to do all this properly with you. I’ve never really had the chance to have a proper relationship with a beautiful woman like you, sure plenty of women have chased me, but they didn’t really want me for me. I think that I’d actually really like that though, for somebody to look past my cheerful exterior, and still want to be around me, and I feel like I don’t have to pretend with you.” I can’t stop the shock I feel at how he really feels, but I know that it couldn’t have been easy for him to admit any of that to someone he doesn’t know very well, even if that stranger is your mate. I’m not going to sit here and be disrespectful about his feelings either, so instead of trying to make a joke about how many people he’s probably slept with, like I usually would, I think over all the important things I want to ask him, I decide to just blurt it all out before I end up chickening out.

  “Okay, I’ll just get all the big questions out of the way, and you can answer them after, because I’m honestly nervous as fuck right now! The most important thing I need to know is, if you’re loyal to Gabriel? The things he’s allowed to happen to me aren’t right, so I need you to be honest with me about this. I know from what Aziel has told me, that not everyone just follows him or his brothers blindly, or completely agrees with his outlook on things. On that subject, how many of the angels are
just as elitist as my grandfather? Like how many would truly view me as an abomination? I would like to think not all of them are so closed minded, but I also know from experience that people can be stupid. I’m guessing at least in that regard, supernaturals aren’t all that different from humans. If you don't fit in with the norm, then people are either scared of you, or they ridicule you. It’s not right, but that's just the way of the world. Last thing I’ll ask for now is, why did you leave your post and come back with me and Aziel? I’m sure the backlash for that couldn’t have been good, so why would you do that for a girl you don’t even know?”

  I can see that he’s really taking this seriously, by the thoughtful expression on his face, as he ponders over my questions, and I wait anxiously for his answers. “For the first question, fuck no, I ain’t loyal to that waste of fucking space Gabriel! He’s such a fucking arsehole, he thinks he’s so fucking important, and that I should feel lucky that I got chosen as his guard. I only accepted the fucking job to make my life easier, and so I didn’t have to put up with him going off on everyone about how disrespectful turning him down would’ve been! He seriously has a massive superiority complex, and even being around him is exhausting. But when his brothers told me that I had to take the job, I couldn’t exactly turn around and tell them to go fuck themselves. On the outside, his brothers don’t seem as bad as him, but really they’re just better at hiding it from the people around them. I’ve been stuck doing that job for years, and I hated every fucking second of it. For your second question, there's surprisingly very few who actually have the same outlook on things as the Archangels, which is probably why they kept the prophecy about you to themselves. Most of us don’t agree with their opinions, but speaking up means they’ll make our lives hell, and most of our kind are too scared to say anything against them. Most of them don’t want anything bad happening to the people around them, because they decided to speak up.

  You beautiful, are the furthest thing from an abomination I’ve ever met, if anyone is an abomination it’s our pathetic excuse for leaders, no one should be as full of themselves as those men are. Finally, for your last question, on one hand, you gave me an excuse to get away from the likes of Gabriel. But on the other hand, there was something in my gut that drew me to you, as soon as I laid eyes on you, there was a tug telling me to stay close. On top of that, with the power coming from you, you could have easily kicked my arse, but instead you didn’t seem to mind me touching you. When you’re from a place where the strongest of our kind get their kicks by abusing those weaker than them, it’s really fucking refreshing to find someone who doesn’t use their magick for the wrong things. Then I found out what you are to me, it was like this darkness that has been hanging over me for years, was lifted and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

  I know I come off as a cocky bastard, but when your life is as fucked up as mine, you do anything to hide the pain you feel from everyone around you. Especially being an angel, the ones like Gabriel look for those weaknesses, and exploit them to bring you down. So I hid it all behind my playboy ways. I lost my parents when I was still a child, and griffins aren’t looked at in the best of light in the angel community, so no one would take me in and raise me. I had to go it alone. I guess the thought of having a family, and people that would care about me as much as I cared for them, was just something I didn’t want to pass up, as selfish as that may seem.”

  By the end of his speech he’s staring at the ground, and looking closely I can see the insecurity in his features, with the things he’s been through, I see parts of myself in him. I can feel a connection there between us, knowing that we both had it rough, it may have been different circumstances, but that doesn’t stop me feeling this way. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of a little Aiden hurting after losing his parents, and having no one to hold him to make it better. Leaning over, I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, as I feel the sobs rising up in my chest. He seems almost surprised that I would hug him, and that hurts me inside, how could this man think that he’s not good enough for such a small gesture of affection. Sure I needed things cleared up for peace of mind, but after listening to what his life has been like, I can tell that we both need each other, even if it is just to soothe the hurt of our pasts.

  Pulling back I give him a kiss on the cheek, as he looks at me in shock before reaching out, and wiping the tears from under my eyes. Giving him a soft smile, I rest my head on his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around my waist. Snuggling in closer, I raise my eyes to the sky, me and the guys will show him that he’s a part of something, I never want him feeling unwanted again!

  Sam

  Watching from my window, as Lilith cuddles up with Aiden, I feel a sense of relief knowing that she’s more comfortable with him now. I didn’t get any bad vibes from the guy, it was just a shock knowing that another one of her family's guards turned out to be her mate, but then they do say fate works in mysterious ways. If they weren’t connected to someone she knew or was connected to, then she never would have had the chance to meet them, and everything happens for a reason. Whatever they’ve been talking about, has obviously made her look at him differently, which makes things easier for the rest of us, Lilith has already proved that she has great instincts when it comes to judging people. Turning away from the window, I go in search of the others, planning on filling them in so they can hit the brakes on the overprotective shit. I know I’m not much better with how I wrapped my arms around her yesterday laying my claim, but I tend to be that way after having some personal time with my girl. She brings another side out in me, but I sure as hell ain't mad at it.

  Finding the others gathered in Tae’s room, they all turn to watch me as I walk in. These fuckers really need to stop being so goddamn intimidating, they can tell who it is by a person's scent, so why look at me like I’m an intruder? Sure, we’re all on edge with all the shit that’s been going on lately, and with what happened to Lilith, but she needs some normality not us babying her. I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart, trying to figure out a way to tell them that Aiden obviously passed Lilith’s test.

  “Could you guys stop with the murderous looks, you knew it was me, so there’s absolutely no need to look at me like I’m a threat. I thought you guys would want an update on the whole Aiden and Lilith situation, which seems to be going pretty well, if them being all cute and shit in the garden is anything to go by. So you fuckers can stop planning his death now, you know Lilith is really good at being able to sense if someone is a danger to her. In fact she looked as if she was pretty happy to be spending time with him, I think we may have misjudged him when we first met, he seems alright.”

  I freeze when the tense look on their faces doesn’t change, and as Tae starts to explain what the fuck is going on with them, my heart drops. “That isn’t why we’re pissed off brother, D was looking through the security footage for last night like he does everyday. But the cameras picked up something very fucking alarming, there was someone in the house. They went into Lilith’s room while everyone was sleeping, and just stood there watching her for over an hour. I could have sworn it was Xilas, but that's impossible, right? That weird old bastard has been gone for years, Asmo had to have dealt with him, he wouldn’t have been stupid enough to let him live. Not only that, but he came into our rooms too, and he was walking around with a fucking knife. When we followed him on the footage to see where he went afterward, we watched him go into the attic, we were still checking to see if he eventually left, but as far as we can tell he’s still up there. Did Asmo ever tell you what he did with Xilas when he found he was being really bizarre and not doing his job right to protect Lilith?”

  I shake my head in disbelief, trying to think back on what happened when Asmo was deciding Xilas's punishment, but coming up blank. “I have no idea what happened with Xilas, I know Asmo said he was going to have to deal with him after all the creepy shit he found him doing. But I don't actually remember what he was going to do. That m
an was fucking obsessed, watching her when she was only a little girl like she was his to fucking own, he was seriously screwed up in the head. I remember when Asmo was questioning him, he said that Lilith was his, going on about how she was the perfect subject to train. It was some seriously fucked up shit he was spouting. Thank fuck we installed the extra cameras, have any of you been up to check the attic out yet?” Tae just shakes his head at me, looking lost in thought.

  “We literally just watched the footage before you walked in, and we were forming a plan on how to deal with this, it's kind of a delicate situation. We wanted to make sure that Lilith wasn't at risk of being caught in the middle, she really doesn't need this shit right now, and if things go south, I don't want her getting hurt. We thought it would be best to grab you before we went up, we have more chance of capturing him if we have your illusions, and the less trouble is caused the better. We don't want Lilith to feel like she's in danger in her own home, so causing a big commotion isn't exactly ideal.”

  I nod my head agreeing with him, and we talk through our plan, before heading to the attic, keeping as quiet as possible so we don't give him any idea we know he's there. When we get under the hatch, I close my eyes, concentrating to form my illusion, before projecting my magick into the attic. I completely take his vision, leaving him blind to everything around him, and we begin to hear him cursing and bumping around. The next layer to the illusion, is the sound of each of us surrounding him, with a small army of demons at our backs, deafening him with growls and snarls. We hear a scream as the illusion fully takes hold, and it takes all off my concentration to make sure he can't shatter the illusion, as he tries to fight back against me. Around me, I hear the others easing the latch down, and making their way up the ladder. The sounds of a scuffle break out, and I hear one of the guys grunt in pain, before everything goes silent, and someone lands in a heap at my feet. I hear the others coming back down the ladder, and a slight struggle as they tie up our captive, to begin dragging him down to the basement.