by Paige Orr
I turn back to the front with a weary sigh, I know that’s really what the guys want from this trip, but I’d rather not spend my mini-break, focusing on what happened to me. I know it’s not exactly healthy to compartmentalize like that, but you can’t blame a girl for wanting to forget all the bad shit just for a little bit. Fuck, I think any sane person would want to just bury all of that shit, and forget it ever happened to them, so that’s exactly what I plan to do.
“Alright, I guess so, but I really would prefer not to keep going over it all. It happened, it was really fucking shitty, but there really is no fucking point in torturing myself with it. That bastard tortured me enough, why the fuck should I give him the satisfaction of controlling my life now! He’s dead, so good riddance to him! I don’t want to let this shit define me, we all know that it probably won’t be the last time someone tries to hurt me, with this bullshit prophecy hanging over our heads!”
By this point, I’m panting with the anger brought on by all the terrible memories, it’s like I can still feel that creep’s touch, and I can still see him so vividly as he lapped up my blood. I have to deal with these memories every night while I sleep, so I’d rather not get pulled back into them when I’m awake. That shit is not fucking healthy for anyone, and it would probably cause my mind to break. Shivers course through my body when all of the things I’ve been trying my hardest to suppress flash through my mind on repeat, only snapping out of it when D’s warm hand lands on my knee. Turning to face him, I give him a weak smile feeling really shitty for taking my shit out on them, I really shouldn’t lash out at the people who care about me.
“Princess, we won’t make you talk about something you don’t want to, we would never force you to do anything. If what you really want is to forget, then we will just have to get over ourselves and let you forget. To be honest with you, we’re probably pushing so much because we feel like we let you down, really fucking badly. We’re supposed to protect our mate, and instead we let you be snatched because of our own stupidity. That doesn’t mean we are allowed to make you relive that shit, because that sure as fuck isn’t fair on you. You’re the one that it happened to, not us.”
The sorrow in his voice has my heart clenching. This whole time I’ve been so focused on how everything has made me feel, that I never really thought about what shit could be going through their brains, deep down they know I never blamed them for any of this, but if I know anything, it’s the fact that our brains like to torment us with what we feel like we should have done. They were so used to everything going their way, and no one going against them, that my kidnapping not only must have hurt their pride, but made them feel like they couldn’t look after me properly.
“You guys can’t blame yourselves for what that bastard did, I knew I was in danger, yet I still ran away from where I knew I would be safe, just because I felt a little hurt. I could have gone upstairs to my room if I needed space, the rest of you would have made sure that Lucien gave me time, but I didn’t and that’s on me. It was my mistake not yours. You guys were doing everything you could to find the fucker so I was safe, and I went and walked into his hands like a fucking idiot, none of you did a thing wrong, I really wish you would have told me how you were feeling. I hate that you all thought you couldn’t speak to me about this, I’m so used to dealing with the bad shit that happens to me myself, that it didn’t even cross my mind that you guys could be struggling with what happened too. Let’s promise that in future, we’ll talk to each other about how we’re feeling more. Keeping shit bottled up inside helps no one, and we’re in this shit together now.”
We all promise to talk in future, then the car lapses into silence. Looks like this isn’t going to be the fun road trip I hoped it would be, but at least somebody finally told me about what’s been upsetting them all.
Lucien
I watch the others closely, the car so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I can’t believe Asmo didn’t warn us about that bastard being locked up in the house, finding an old ass cage in the attic, with the door pried open, was fucking surreal. He could have done anything to Lilith, or any of us, and there would have been fuck all we could do to stop him. When Asmo first found out about everything Xilas was up to, he was beyond angry, so why would he just leave him locked up like that? Surely he should have killed the dickwad for perving on his underage daughter. It honestly makes me sick to think about all the things Asmo told me he’s done, from watching her in her intimate moments, to acting as if he was the same age as her on the internet, trying to get closer to her any way he could. It’s not normal for a grown ass man to think the way he did about such a young girl!
She was so little, how could anyone pray on a child like that, Asmo should have fucking ended him when he had the chance, pricks like that don’t deserve to live. The thought that he was watching her for all of those years before he was caught, has my blood boiling in my veins, and the guys turn to me in shock. Shit, I must have changed to my demon form, which is really unlike me, I’m usually so fucking controlled. They can’t really blame me though, they only know the tip of the iceberg of what he was doing. If they knew the whole truth, they wouldn’t have just left him in a cage, they would’ve ripped him limb from fucking limb!
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath trying to get myself back under control, and feel myself shift back before slumping in my seat. “Sorry about that guys, there’s just so much that I haven’t had the chance to tell you about Xilas. I was more focused on getting Lilith away from that man, I really don't want to rock the boat with her, now that we’re finally getting back on track after hiding I’m her mate from her. It wasn’t exactly the best time to be exposing the extent of his crimes, especially when I would rather only talk about it once, so I wanted all of you to be there. Asmo told me everything about what he did, and we thought it would be best to keep it between us, but it’s about time you all know the truth, especially with him being a threat to our girl right now. When we get to the cabin, we need to talk about this shit. ”
The guys give me curt nods, as we settle in for the rest of the journey, here’s hoping Lilith and the others are having a better time than us. She was really suspicious before we left, with any luck D and Tae will have been able to tell her something believable, so that she’s not stressing out about this. She’s dealing with enough, without the added stress of finding out about Xilas.
We pull up in front of the cabin forty-five minutes later, and we all get out of the car, heading for the front door. I watch as Lilith steps out of the other car, and her expression sets me on edge. Surely the guys didn’t tell her anything, they’re smarter than that. I really don’t like that look on her face, either way she looks fucking haunted, and I wish that I could take away whatever’s bothering her. Walking towards her, I pull her into my arms, resting my chin on her head, silently giving her as much comfort as I can. I feel her arms wrap around my waist, as she lets out a tired sigh enjoying the warmth of my embrace, before looking up into my eyes.
“Thanks Luce, I really needed that cuddle, you’ve always been able to tell when I need you, from that very first meeting. You don’t have to worry though, me and the guys were just talking about everything that’s happened lately, and I was just feeling a bit down. I’m already feeling better though, finally having you all around me again makes me feel safe. I honestly don’t think I could’ve gotten through this if it wasn’t for having you all by my side. You guys will never know how thankful I am that you’re here for me. Now, why don’t we head inside, I could really do with a comfortable seat after being cooped up in the car, my arse is fucking square right now.”
I take her hand in mine, leading her into the house, and guide her over to the couch, pulling her down onto my lap. She curls up against me, and I can’t take my eyes off of her, while she watches as the rest of the guys bring the stuff in from the cars. Once everyone is inside, it’s like her energy completely drains as she slumps in my hold. This girl is seriously amazing, I can tell tha
t she’s trying her best not to overthink everything that’s happened. But if you look close enough, you can see the dark circles under her eyes, and how pale she is compared to usual.
I wish that I could wrap her up in cotton wool to keep all the bad things away, but she would probably hate me for coddling her. Who can blame her? She’s dealt with so much on her own, her whole fucking life. Having us force our way into her life must be difficult to deal with. At least she’s a lot more comfortable with us now, she’s even grown used to Aiden and Aziel, which I’m still pretty shocked at. Maybe she’s just getting used to her life being full of surprises now, so she’s just rolling with the punches, or maybe having more of us around makes her feel safer. Whatever it is that’s made her find all of this easier, I’m just glad that her whole life changing hasn't broken the breathtaking woman that she is.
I’m snapped out of my musing when Sam catches my eye, motioning for me to follow him into the next room. I pass Lilith to D, she happily snuggles into him, closing her eyes, and I bend down kissing her on the forehead. Following Sam, I find that we’re in the kitchen, I sit down at the counter, waiting on the others. I really would prefer to do this with all the guys here, but I’m sure Tae will fill D in when he gets the chance, none of us want to leave Lilith on her own. I take a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to explain to the guys everything that Xilas truly did, I could’ve never guessed it’d be so hard to form the words.
Impatiently, Sam motions for me to start speaking, and I let out a long sigh. I suppose it’s better to just spit it out, no matter what way I phrase it, it’s still fucking chilling to hear. “We didn’t really have time to talk about Xilas’s crimes earlier, since our main priority was Lilith’s safety, but there’s still so much you guys don’t know. To be honest, I’ve tried my best over the years not to think of the things that monster wanted to do to Lilith. When Asmo caught him, Lilith was around fourteen, as most of you guys know. But Asmo only told you that he was stalking her, which is true but there was so much more, and it’s so much fucking worse.
He wasn’t just watching her more than he was ordered to, he was watching her at inappropriate times, like when she was getting changed or was in the shower. He would pretend to be young boys, trying to get close to her online, and he would ask her for pictures of herself. He tried to get her to meet him a few times, but thankfully our girl is wary of everyone, or he would’ve been able to carry out his sick fantasies. Asmo found Xilas’s journal, and the things he had planned for her are fucking sickening. He had this twisted idea that she would be the perfect wife to ‘train’ as he called it, and he was very detailed about what his ‘training’ would involve. Honestly I think it would be better for you guys to read it yourselves, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Not because you would think I’m lying, but because the things he wrote about were so fucking depraved, that I didn’t want to believe it either. I have it saved electronically, so I can get it sent over to you guys, and you can see for yourselves. As you can imagine Asmo was fucking enraged, that’s why I’m so surprised the creep is still alive. Asmo was one of the only people who knew how to truly kill the fucker, so I really don’t know why he didn’t, but we need to figure that shit out, because we can’t afford to let him continue to live!”
Sam storms from the room, startling Lilith, who looks at us all in confusion. He heads straight for his bag, pulling out a laptop, and diving straight in at the deep end, if anyone can figure this shit out it’s Sam. I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful to have him on our side, he’ll find a way to end Xilas or who we can find out from, he’s our only hope right now.
Lilith
All the guys are sitting around in pensive silence, and I’ve barely been able to get two words out of them for the last hour. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with them right now? What the fuck could they be hiding from me. There’s no way in hell they’d be this stressed, unless there’s something they aren’t telling me, but they look like they’re in no mood to talk about it right now. Why wouldn’t they just tell me what it is? I get that they have been worried about me, but surely they’ve learned that hiding the truth only puts me in more danger. I really wish they would trust me more, if it’s something really bad, then wouldn’t it be better for me to know all the facts?
Before I even have the chance to ask them about it, I hear the sound of flapping wings, and something heavy landing outside the cabin, that completely steals our attention. The guys all get to their feet, looking between each other nervously, before Tae makes his way to the door. What in the fuck is going on around here? I know that whatever the fuck that was, it certainly wasn’t a bird, so what the hell could it be? Tae throws one more apprehensive look over his shoulder, before opening the door. I watch mystified as all the color drains from his face, and he hurries outside, shutting the door behind him.
Curious about what could have caused his reaction, I get to my feet, and make my way towards the window that faces out front. Tae isn’t one to be spooked easily, so my imagination is in overdrive, over what could be waiting for him out there. Drawing the curtain back slightly, I see two strange men standing outside talking to Tae, they don’t look threatening per se, but they don’t exactly look like friends who’ve come over for a catch up either. One of them stands straight with his arms crossed over his broad chest, with wings as dark as night sprouting from his back, and a frightening scowl on his handsome face. Behind him the other man stands slumped against a tree, with a sleepy look on his face, and a wide yawn splitting his lips, with the same beautiful wings peeking over his shoulders. They both look like they’ve stepped right out of a historical drama, with their shirts having ruffles around the wrists and neckline, and tight high waisted black dress pants.
As I stand there ogling through the curtains, the more intimidating of the two turns towards me, and a vicious smile takes over his face, causing me to jump back from the window. I clench my hand in a fist, bringing it up to my chest, feeling my heart beating wildly. I nearly jump out of my skin when I feel a hand land on my shoulder, and I spin finding Gale looking at me with a worried expression. Letting out a breath of relief, I find the others looking at me with varying expressions of anxiety.
“Does anyone know why there would be two men, with black wings outside the cabin? And how the fuck did they know we were here?” The others exchange a worried look, which really isn’t helping me calm down. D walks to the window, looking outside, before cursing under his breath. He looks back to the others, looking almost fearful, flicking his eyes towards me for a second, before explaining to the others. “It’s Lucifer and Abaddon, and the important question really is, how the fuck did they find us? I’m not so worried about Abaddon, but Lucifer is fucking ruthless!”
Just as he finishes speaking, the front door opens, and Tae walks in with a blank expression on his face, Lucifer and Abaddon hot on his heels. My guys fall into an eerie silence, as they crowd around me, sliding into protector mode, which seriously sets me on edge. The unimpressed expression that crosses who I guess is Lucifer’s face, doesn’t help matters.
“Now now boys, there's no need to get your hackles up, I’m only here for a friendly visit...this time. It seems my brother decided to hide his offspring from us, which was rather rude of him, we are family after all. We’ve been finding out a lot about our dear niece, and to say we weren’t very happy that Asmodeus kept quiet about her, is an understatement.” He sneers down his nose at me, causing shivers to travel down my spine. “We just wanted to introduce ourselves, it’s not everyday that you find out your niece was born to kill you.”
I can’t seem to take my eyes off of him, I should have guessed from their names, and the way they hold themselves that they’re my uncles, my brain just didn’t want to accept that fact though. Like serioisly, what’s with all of the fucking family reunion shit right now? I always dreamed of having a family, but this shit was definitely not what I had hoped for. It’s just my luck that both sides
of my family want me fucking dead! I let out a sigh of defeat, knowing that I can’t ignore this confrontation forever, that doesn’t stop my heart from wishing that just once, I would have family that actually wants me.
“I’m guessing it would probably be pretty rude for me to ask you to leave, so why don’t you take a seat, and say what you have to say. I was really hoping to relax for a while, without anymore attempts to kill me, or unnecessary drama. But since you’re family it wouldn’t be very nice not to even hear you out, even if my dad said that you want me dead. I’m also guessing if you wanted me dead right this second, I already would be, I might be new to all this, but I’m not fucking stupid.”
Lucifer chuckles at my boldness, before sitting down, crossing one leg over the other. He looks to Abaddon, finding him sleeping against the wall, and I can’t stop the giggle from escaping me. “Let me guess, his sin is sloth? If I wasn’t so sure you all hated me, I’d find that shit pretty cute. Do you think I should get him a pillow or something? That can’t be comfortable, and there’s no need for him to get a kink in his neck.”
Lucifer swings his head in my direction, his features filled with shock at my gesture. “Sure, a pillow would be good for him, though I’m surprised you’re being kind to either of us, seeing as you know the truth. You’re really not what I was expecting, when word of who you are reached me.” I ponder over this for a few seconds, knowing he’s right, I shouldn’t be offering to do anything for them, letting out a weary sigh I decide to be honest with him. “Look, you guys might hate me, because of the stupid fucking prophecy, but why would I hate you? It’s not like you’ve done anything to hurt me so far, unlike the angelic half of my family. So believe me when I say, you guys are the lesser of two evils at this moment in time. I’ve never had a family who cared for me, so you guys hating my guts, and everything I am, well it’s nothing unusual for me. I might not have asked to be born the way I was, but that doesn’t change the fact that my family would rather judge me because of a prophecy, rather than the person I am”
