Searching for the Answers

by Paige Orr

  I’m left in a stupor, as his words slowly penetrate the fog in my mind. The Tunrida that I know did seem cruel, but she was also heavily pissed that the vampires took advantage of the innocent. I’m beginning to wonder that if she’s the same person, was being cut off from the cruelty of the world enough to bring her back to herself. If so, wouldn’t that work in favor of this stupid prophecy, that’s completely taken over my life. If I have the same powers that she did, mixed in with the powers from my angelic bloodline, that really would mean I’m the perfect candidate for uniting us all.

  It’s still fucking scary to have so much responsibility on my shoulders, but from what I’ve learned of this world, someone has to stand up to the fucking bullies. There really is nothing I hate more than a bully, and I’ve never really understood why some people make it their mission in life to make others feel fucking miserable. So many people are looked down upon in the world, and it is really unfortunate. Most of the time those people have the best way of thinking, probably because they understand what it feels like to be looked at so differently.

  I get that for centuries, angels and demons have been fighting, but do they even truly understand what they are fighting over anymore, or are they just fighting because that’s all they know? I suppose it comes down to how someone is brought up, when we are young, our minds are so impressionable. Our whole outlook on the world is built by watching those around us, but we each are our own person, and we should have the ability to make up our own minds on what is right or wrong. I just hope that there are more supernaturals out there, who feel that there’s a need for change the way we do, because if not this shits going to be a whole lot harder.

  Lilith

  Looking around, I find the guys staring at me expectantly probably wondering when I’m going to have another breakdown. I’ve had enough of being so weak though, if I’m going to protect those that can’t protect themselves then I need to fucking pull myself together. No one will ever think I’m capable enough to protect them if everytime I hear something I don’t want to, I end up in a puddle of tears. I might not be confident in myself, but I do know that there are people who will be relying on me, and for them I need to be strong. I at least have to appear like I’m strong enough for this, otherwise I’ll be a fucking joke. But first, I have to put my guys’ minds to rest about Tunrida, or they’ll think I can’t handle myself when it comes to her.

  “I know you guys are worried and I understand why, I really do. But have you stopped for a minute to think about things,if this is the same Tunrida then she really could have changed. I’m not saying that when I let her loose on those vampires she wasn’t cruel as fuck, but the thing that disgusted her the most about them was the fact they reveled in hurting the innocent, like the young girl they drained beside me. She was severely pissed that they enjoyed hurting me so much when I couldn’t defend myself, and she hated that the thought of hurting someone weaker than them seemed to turn the sick fuckers on. It may seem strange to you guys, but she gave them a chance to defend their actions, and then when she saw through their lies that’s when she killed them. I know I don’t have much experience with all this shit, but maybe being away from all of the conflict has given her mind time to heal. She didn’t seem to hurt anyone that might have been innocent of the crimes that we accused them of, but when she knew how guilty they were she was ruthless.Since she isn’t the one in control, even if she does lose her way again, there’s no way she could hurt anyone. Anyway, we have a lot of other shit that we have to deal with before that. We should probably worry about how to deal with Xilas and Gabriel first, they’re the main threat right now so getting distracted with things that can’t be changed, isn't the smartest thing to do right now. Once she’s completely eased me into my magick and I can speak to her again, I’ll have a serious conversation with her about your concerns. We will get answers to the whole thing, but we need to make sure we get out of this shit alive first, otherwise we’ll never get the chance to ask her.”

  The gentle look in the guys eyes as they stare at me with understanding smiles, sends my heart racing until it feels like it will beat straight out of my chest. Sometimes I think I’ll never get used to the way they look at me, I just hope that I don’t let them down. It would be so easy to fuck this all up, and with my luck that’s most likely going to happen since I wreck everything I touch. I’m trying so hard to do better for them, they deserve better than what I can really give them. I turn away from them, feeling a blush spreading over my cheeks, when something catches my eye from the window. I look out, trying to find what it was, but no matter where I look nothing seems any different. That was really fucking wierd, because I could have sworn I saw a pair of eyes staring in from the treeline. That’s impossible though, right? I really can’t afford to be getting paranoid right now, otherwise I’ll be completely fucking useless to the guys, and I refuse to be the one that holds us back.

  Shit, I’m never usually this fucking niave. I know that Xilas will probably be heading towards us right now, and with everything that’s been going on, Sam hasn’t had the chance to track him yet. For all we know, he could be out there right now, so maybe I’m not imagining things. I get a chill running down my spine at the thought, and as the sun begins to set the feeling in my gut tells me things are about to get serious.

  Xilas

  As the darkness of night settles around me I watch through the window, while Lilith and those fucking pieces of shit sit around without a care in the world. How foolish they are to think that they can just take her from me with no repercussions, they’re just as fucking bad as Asmodeous, thinking that I’ll just sit back quietly and let them tell me what to do. I fucking hate that they were able to trap me again, but I won’t deny that killing those pathetic guards has been the highlight of the last decade for me. It’s been so long since I’ve truly been able to let myself go, and as their blood slipped through my fingers, I knew that no matter how long they locked me up I’ll never lose who I am. They think that because they surprised me that day, I’ll be just as easy to overpower again, so now it’s my turn to show them how powerless they are.

  I’m still completely stumped that they thought their pathetic guards would be able to hold me, they struggled enough themselves to knock me out and drag me to my new cell. I’m not too cocky to admit that they’re some of the strongest demons around apart from the archdemons, but not even they will be able to stop me, no matter how many times they lock me away. You would think that they’d be fucking smarter than this, they know that their stupid restraints are really not enough to hold me, there was a reason I was tasked with Lilith’s protection and not them.

  I bet bringing that up to them would really push their fucking buttons. I feel the sadistic smile on my face grow, as I contemplate all the ways that I could torture them before I finally kill them. I wonder what they would do if I fucked their pretty little mate while they are unable to do anything to protect her, they were so fucking stupid to think they could stand in my way without getting hurt. Groaning at the pleasurable tingles that travel up my spine at the thought of everything I could do to torture them, I know I’m going to enjoy what I have planned for these fucking fools, and when I’m finished with them there will be nothing fucking left. I was the best at my job for a reason, not that anyone really knew what my job was, we couldn’t have everyone knowing who was Asmodeous’s assassin. I may be a little rusty, but I’m sure that I can still have a little fun with these fuckers. I know that I won’t be able to last much longer without taking what’s mine, they’ll regret ever underestimating me when this night is through, I’ll make fucking sure of it!

  Lilith

  Later that night after another lovely meal made by Lucien, I still can’t shake the sick feeling in my gut of being watched. I really just want Sam to hurry up and check where the fuck that creepy bastard Xilas is, but everyones finally settling down again and I don’t want to go and ruin the mood. I don’t get to see them relaxed like this very often, and it l
ooks really good on them, I don’t want to be the one that changes that. Hearing that Abbadon, Lucifer and Satan are on our side has really helped put them at ease, which I’m really fucking thankful for the testosterone levels have been fucking unbarable with them being so on edge.

  Also, I actually had fun playing with my magick and seeing how much control I have over my flames. I know I don’t exactly have a full access pass right now, but being brought up human just makes every little thing I can do even more special. Even if I do have to use these powers to kill someone soon, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t look at the positives to having them. I’ve mainly been trying to keep the flames in my hands, instead of covering my whole freaking body. No matter how cool I think it is, being completely covered in fire is freaky shit. I just have to make sure I stay in control of my emotions, and the flames seem to do what they’re told pretty well.

  The guys are watching me in amusement, as I once again pull all my fire into my hands, and a grin covers my face when I’m able to keep them there for longer each time. It might not seem like much, but the quicker I learn to have control over each part of me, the less likely I’ll hurt someone by accident. I’m surrounded by fucking badasses, and I’m sitting here proud of myself because I haven’t set anything on fire yet. Way to be kick ass Lilith, everyone will soon be in wonder of your control. Giggling quietly to myself over my stupidity, I let the flames go, feeling a tiredness washing over me. It’s not really like ‘I need sleep’ tired, so it’s probably got something to do with the fact that this is the most I’ve used my magick on my own. Last time I used magick I didn’t really have time to dwell on how exhausted I was, and ever if I did I wouldn’t have been able to tell it appart from how much the torture had drained me.

  I refuse to let the guys worry, so instead of showing how weary I am, I plaster a bright smile across my face. Turning to D, I look at him quizzically. I might as well use this time to ask some of the questions I have with all the crazy shit that happens to me, I don’t usually get the time to ask things. Now I can find out more about the magick inside me, so I’m not going to waste the opportunity. “So big guy, what kind of training do you have in mind for me tomorrow? Do I get to blow shit up with my crazy cool fire, or are you going to have me doing some chi type shit? You know, all that deep breathing and centering yourself mumbo jumbo. I ain’t going to lie to you guys, I really ain’t got the patience for that shit. I’m more a go with the flow type of girl, try and hope for the best is usually the way I try new things. It’s always worked for me, so why break the habit of a lifetime.”

  I watch them with a smile on my face as they let go of the last of their tension, and they chuckle at me. It’s a tough fucking crowd tonight, and to be perfectly honest I can’t be arsed with the doom and gloom bullshit all night, so I’m glad they’re finally letting go. Xilas is going to appear whenever he feels like it, us stressing the fuck out isn’t going to change that. Even though I haven’t had much training, I’ve been practicing calling my fire whenever the guys aren’t looking, so I’ll at least be able to do my part. I won’t lie and say that I’m looking forward to taking someone's life, but it’s him or my guys and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect them. I’ve never really done anything to defend myself, but I will shank a bitch to protect the people I love.

  My expression softens, as I look around the room, my eyes lingering on each of my guys for a moment. I really am the fucking luckiest girl in the world. It’s hard to imagine why I was so scared of this relationship at the start, when now I realise it’s the best thing to happen to me ever. I can’t wait for all this shit to be over so I can just spend time with my guys, you know, and do all that normal couple shit. Even when I was with my arsehole of an ex, he never really took me out on dates or spent time with me other than to tell me how I wasn’t good enough for him. Now I have seven guys who would move the earth if it made me happy, and I’ll do anything to keep the content smiles on their faces.

  As those thoughts are going around in my head, the lights suddenly cut out and that feeling of being watched returns. My heart races, knowing without anyone needing to tell me that Xilas is here. I can feel it deep in my bones, as his presence seems to surround me, setting me on edge. My breath catches in the back of my throat, as my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest when someone grabs me. Before I can scream, a hand comes up and covers my face. My body freezes and I try to calm myself down enough to call on my fire, when I hear Tae’s voice whispering in my ear, and all the tension drains from my shoulders.

  “Shh, kitten it’s only me. I’m going to slowly lead you over to D, stick with him no matter what, okay?” I nod, as he slowly drops his hand, pulling me out of my chair. He pushes me behind him, guiding my hand to his belt to guide me in the dark. I’m really fucking glad that one of us can fucking see right now, otherwise I’d be screaming my lungs out. We make our way across the room to where I presume D is, and Tae eases me into his arms leaving us where we are. D moves me behind him pushing me into a crouch, and if I wasn’t preparing myself to kill our intruder, I’d probably be filled with indignation at them placing me behind them so much. Now that my eyes have adjusted as much as they can, I can make out D holding a finger to his lips.

  It’s at that point I feel like a fucking idiot remembering that I can enhance my vision with a fucking thought, I really fucking suck at being a demon. I close my eyes taking a deep breath, and concentrate on what I want to happen. It sounds stupid to just demand better sigth and it to actually work, but I’ve noticed that I’ve got to mold the magick for it to do what I want. When I open my eyes everything is crystal clear, and I’m just in time to notice someone creeping up behind D. I know I don’t have the time to warn him so without a second thought I throw my fire over his shoulders, hoping that I can at least slow the bastard down enough for D to get out of his way. D’s eyes widen, before he rolls to the side just in time, grabbing my wrist as he goes. He spins on the fucker, getting into a defensive stance in front of me and shouting for the others.

  I watch a sick sort of smile cross the face of who I’m guessing must be Xilas, as he looks at the scorch marks on the wall beside his head, and I feel a satisfaction in the fact I was so close to hitting him. He turns back to me, tilting his head in an eerie sort of way. I can see the calculation in his eyes as he studies us, a frown forcing its way onto his face when he sees how tightly I’m holding on to D. “Hello my little minx, I finally found you. You don’t have to worry, I’ll get you away from these animals. They thought they could keep us apart, but they don’t realise how much you were made for me. They always were rather stupid, blindly following everything your pathetic father told them to do. They should have been as smart as I was and had a plan for when the old man turned his back, because that’s what he always did. He turned his back on you, so I helped the brotherhood get what they wanted, his death. I wish I had got out of my cage in time to see the shock on his face when they killed him, serves him right for locking me away after I did so much for him. I can protect you alot better than they can, I’ll be able to keep you safe, instead of letting filthy bastards like that vampire get their hands on you.”

  Okay, is this fucker for real!? He seriously fucking thinks I’m just going to fucking live happily ever after with him, how fucking deranged is he!? D watches me from the side of his eye, as I look at the stupid piece of shit incredulously. I take my time rising to my feet before calling my flames, and looking at Xilas with a sick grin on my face. Laughing at him, I decide somebody should really explain how fucking stupid he is. You better fucking believe that I’ll gladly explain how the world really fucking works, maybe that’ll give the others time to get to us.

  “Yeah, no fucking thanks. Are you seriously that big of an idiot? Do you think I’m going to just sit here and let you talk about my mates like that? You sunshine, couldn’t do half the fucking job they could protecting me? You just fucking see me as a pretty little accessory to hang
on your fucking arm, when that shit couldn’t be further from the fucking truth! Honestly I thought that Michael was pathetic thinking he owned me, but you’re fucking worse. I wasn’t made for you at all you fucking freak, I was made foor my seven mates not a pathetic piece of sht who isn’t even right in the head.”

  I’m panting by this point with the anger coursing through me. I see the arsehole’s eyes widen, as I feel the change to my demon form come over me. Looking over his shoulders, I see the rest of my guys watching me with proud smiles on their faces. I won’t sit back and let these kinds of people intimidate me anymore, not when they’re deluded fuckers who don’t deserve my fear, I’m stronger than that thanks to having my guys by my side. D gets to his feet beside me leaning against the wall, as the lights flicker back on taking us out of the shadows. Xilas’s face is the perfect picture of shock, as he whirls finding everyone surrounding him. Looking over his shoulder at me, I see it slowly sinking in that he will need to fight to get himself out of this mess. I hold my head high as I meet his eyes, giving him my best look of contempt. This will end tonight, he’s nowhere near as strong as he thinks he is. I know how people like him work, it’s the fear they cause in people that makes them so hard to defeat, and we don’t have any fear for him at all.

  “Do you really think I’ll be that easy, little minx? I always get what I want, even if I have to take it by force! You’re mine, so why don’t you stand there like a good girl, while I finally kill these fuckers. I swear these bastards have been getting in my fucking way for too long now, so I’m really going to fucking enjoy this!” His face breaks out in the creepiest fucking smile ever as he crouches and begins to shift. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the sight of someone shifting, the way their bodies contort and their bones popis kind of disgusting. When he’s finished, I’m shocked to find a fucking Jaguar in front of us! I take a small step back as he slinks his way forward eyeing Tae like he’s his favorite fucking snack, making my blood slowly boil. Tae doesn’t even acknowledge him as he looks towards Sam, who closes his eyes with a look of concentration on his face. Xilas starts to growl whipping his head from side to side, trying to look past the illusion that Sam had conjured for him.