Perfection of Suffering (The Shadows of Wildberry Lane Book 1)

by M. Sinclair

  Seriously. What on earth?!

  Amusement danced in his gaze as he pulled my hand from his mouth and drew both my arms above my head, his frame making my legs fall apart as my robe slipped open, exposing some of my body to his gaze. He let out a dangerous rumble as he looked over me, his eyes pausing only momentarily over my already wet pussy before returning his gaze to mine. His control was impressive. I, on the other hand, was already feeling like a needy mess.

  “I’m talking about us, princess.”

  His lips conquered mine easily, turning my body into liquid as he used one hand to grab my chin. I realized that what I’d seen before wasn’t control, but determination. I moaned against his mouth as his one hand tightened in a bruising grip on my wrists and his other began to slip down my body, his fingers teasing my clit and making my legs tremble with need. Everything was turning hazy again, and I could feel how hard he was, his sweatpants-covered cock rocking against my bare, wet core as I nearly begged him to take it out.

  Desire pulsed through every inch of me, and I just knew I was so screwed. He had way too much control over my body, and if I reacted this strongly to him and the twins… I just didn’t know where to go with this.

  “I love you,” he repeated, slowing his movements but not stopping his teasing. I moaned his name as he slipped two fingers inside of me, pumping in and out. “And you love me.”

  I couldn’t deny his words, even if I wanted to, and I didn’t. He wasn’t wrong. I just hadn’t realized he felt the same.

  “Say it.” He paused his fingers, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

  “You know I do,” I whimpered as he continued to pump.

  “I want to hear it.”

  “I love you.” I arched back as he slid down my frame, his tongue sliding over my clit while moving his fingers fast. I let out a small scream as he sucked on the tight bundle of nerves, and I was so worked up that I was coming against his mouth in seconds.

  I let out a small cry of his name as he groaned, lapping up my release before resting his head against my thigh, looking up at me with a smug smile, his bright green eyes filled with amusement and happiness.

  “That was unfair,” I moaned, feeling embarrassed I’d come so fast, and overwhelmed… because, well, obviously I was overwhelmed. “I’m so confused.”

  His expression turned serious as he fixed my robe and pulled me up against him, my head resting against his shoulder. “I know this wasn’t the best way to tell you, princess. I just couldn’t wait any longer, not after what the twins did, and on top of that, when I heard you moaning in the shower and saw your hand between your legs, I sort of just snapped… I promise I’ll try to explain better. But I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I was worried that if we waited any longer you would doubt that.”

  Had I been doubting his feelings for me? Sort of… yes. Yes I had.

  “I can’t handle seeing you cry, you know what that does to me,” he admitted roughly. I did. One time he almost killed some kid in elementary school for making me cry. Maybe that was why his violent side never scared me.

  “Well, unless your crying from coming so hard—”

  “King!” I blushed.

  His smirk grew. “Can’t blush after I just ate out your perfect little pussy, princess.”

  I could, believe me.

  “How does this play into the twins… and Yates, I just don’t get it.”

  “They feel the same,” he answered completely honestly. “But you should probably talk to them about it. They are already going to probably be pissed about all of this.”

  “About us?” I arched a brow.

  “I may have gotten mad at Lincoln for rushing shit, and then… well, I did the exact same thing,” he mused happily.

  I swallowed, trying to think through what he was saying, what that meant for the future… for us and our families? And what about my feelings for Stratton and even Dermot? Oh lord.

  “I think it’s clear how I feel…” I murmured, darting my gaze away before womaning up and looking him dead in the eye. “King, I could never pick between you guys. I would rather never be like this than to lose any of you. I can’t handle that. I would end up… I would end up brokenhearted in some way or another.”

  “Which is why you won’t choose,” he determined easily, rubbing my nose with his. “No one is asking you to, as long as you’re happy.”

  I’d lost it.

  Oh! I was clearly fantasizing in the shower still. That made way more sense.

  “Yates hates me,” I pointed out weakly.

  King offered me a dry look as I blushed, because it was clear we weren’t fooling anyone. I swallowed nervously. “So… what? You want me to do what, King? What the heck do I do about this?!”

  “You don’t have to do anything, princess.” He smirked with a wicked glint. “Or, you can do everything. It’s up to you.”

  “Except come.” Had I really just said that?

  Kingston’s lips pulled into a slow smirk. “Oh, you can come, Dahlia. You just can’t come without one of us there.” I was going to from just his words, at this rate. This was ridiculous.

  “I just need to process this,” I explained softly after a sharp exhale.

  He nodded and smoothed his hand over my neck. “Which means you need to explain what is going on with Stratton.”

  Crap.

  Searching his gaze, I realized I couldn’t not tell him. I had reached my limit. It was exhausting trying to keep my burdens to myself, and while it wasn’t everything, he was friends with Stratton—or had been—so he may have some good insight on this. I mean, he should also know what was going on with his family—it was way worse than any of us had ever conceived.

  So I told him.

  I started at the top, about how I had gone to the store this morning and what I had heard him say. Then I explained all about the game, including the twins kissing me, and how I had felt overwhelmed. I had even told him what was going on with Stratton’s family and his words about not being ‘right for me.’

  Despite our conversation, I was worried about King’s reaction, but instead of looking pissed, he looked thoughtful. I mean, he still looked annoyed as hell, but I could tell what I told him upset him.

  I found it harder and harder to be mad at Stratton, the more time passed. I mean, he honestly thought he was protecting me. He was wrong, but he did. When backed into a corner, you did what you needed to in order to protect the people you love…

  …Was I doing that? With the bullying situation? No. I would deal with that later.

  “He should have told us.” Kingston frowned but then examined my face. “You believe Stratton though, right? You know he would never say shit like that if he didn’t feel like he had to. He used to get in fights with people in school for even saying your name in the wrong tone. A ‘lost puppy’ is literally the exact opposite of how he views you.”

  “That was what the fights were about?” I demanded sharply.

  “Every single time.”

  “I don’t know how to fix things with him. I don’t know what to do with any of this,” I admitted quietly, his fingers smoothing over my neck in a relaxing fashion.

  “For now, you don’t have to do anything,” he answered before scowling. “Besides bring your phone places.”

  “It was charging!” I smiled.

  Voices sounded from downstairs, and my brows shot up. My mom! Kingston flashed me a smile, moving across the room and locking the door as he nodded towards my closet. I quickly gathered clothes and got ready as more voices sounded downstairs. Was it already dinner time?

  “You need clothes,” I hissed, motioning to him. He put up a finger, and I jumped when there was a knock on the door. He opened it and Yates stepped in, King flashing a smile and taking the offered pile of clothes to the bathroom as Yates leaned against the door and shot me a smirk.

  “You should get dressed, bunny,” he rumbled.

  I felt myself smile, but I grabbed my clothes and passed King a
s he walked out fully dressed. I made quick work of getting in cozy clothes as I considered everything that Kingston had said.

  We had said ‘I love you’ before, but I’d always thought it was in the way you love a friend, on his end… clearly I’d been wrong. I mean, we were all always together. I cuddled with them. Went to large social events together as dates. I went to family parties with them, even for out of town events. We vacationed together.

  Holy shit!

  “Have we all been dating this entire time?!” I demanded as both boys looked at me. King broke into a laugh and opened the door, strolling out as Yates offered me an amused smile.

  “Glad you finally caught on, bunny.”

  How did he know about our conversation?

  I forced myself to scowl at him as he shut my bedroom door and tugged my hand so we were jogging down the steps. A weird surge of hope rushed over me for the first time in a long time. That feeling had been growing, and god, I hoped it didn’t go away.

  I had been so focused on hiding my feelings that I hadn’t really examined how they were acting. I was so wrong about all my assumptions. They apparently loved… me. They loved me. I looked up at Yates, blushing as he offered me an authentic smile and a wink as I realized everyone was over.

  Okay, maybe this wouldn’t take much of an adjustment….

  That hope grew. Hope that I was deserving of love.

  If my boys loved me, I couldn’t be completely worthless, right?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Dahlia Aldridge

  Waking up Monday morning, I couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto my face. It was in part because of the night before, and the other was how peaceful and cozy I was. There was a bright streak of sunshine breaking across the floor, the chill from the AC making me curl further under my blankets and inhale King’s familiar scent. It still smelled like him from yesterday… you know… when he had pinned me to my bed.

  I found myself eager to see him and my other guys today. After everything that had happened yesterday, it was almost impossible to not be in a good mood. Heck, I didn’t even care about that Instagram DM I’d gotten. I was in far too good of a mood. Despite the situation with Stratton, I had finally gotten an answer to the question that had buzzed through my brain for what felt like years.

  What I felt was a shared experience for my boys.

  I had been in love with these men since I knew what that was, and while I needed to hear it from the other three, hearing Kingston Ross tell me that he loved me had changed everything in a span of seconds. It felt like a daydream, all of it. What he had presented me with was my fantasy on a silver platter. Their feelings for me matching my own? Not having to choose between them? Someone needed to pinch me, because call me crazy, but it was hard to believe that after all this I would be so freakin’ lucky.

  A sudden balmy breeze and the creaking of doors had my brow dipping as I turned my head to the other side of my bed. My balcony doors swung slightly, the wind pushing the curtains out onto the stone surface as peaks of pure blue sky broke through my vision. Standing slowly, I shrugged on my robe as I walked across the space to pull the doors open fully.

  Stepping out onto the balcony, I tilted my head at a familiar pair of boot prints that were faint but matched the mud at the garden surface below my room. I couldn’t help but smile and shake my head.

  I knew I had closed the doors… had Stratton come back? Because those tracks weren’t from the first time, I knew that. Stepping back into the room, my eyes trailed to the large armchair that was in the small living area of my room, taking in the blanket that was tossed haphazardly on the couch.

  Had he slept here last night?

  Picking up the soft blanket, I brought it to my nose, his familiar scent surrounding me. That would be a yes. I mean, it wouldn’t have been the first time, but it felt like he hadn’t done that in forever. When we were younger, he had appeared in my room a few times and fallen asleep on the couch, claiming he couldn’t sleep without me in the same room. It had always been a soft-spoken vulnerability, and I knew it had something to do with the time I’d spent with him following his parents’ death. I had absolutely never minded, and I’d been honestly really bummed when he had stopped doing it so often.

  So why now? Why after telling me that he essentially couldn’t even risk our friendship, let alone anything else? He hadn’t even tried to hide that he was here. Confusing man.

  That was okay, though. Poor thing was far more confused than I was. I had a plan to prove to Stratton that the solution to his problem wasn’t isolation. I was going to show him that I would always be there for him, and then he could make his decision on how to move forward. I didn’t want there to be a doubt in his mind that I’d be there no matter what. Money or not. Danger or not. He could count on me.

  Was I possibly a sucker for trying so hard to keep a man by my side that kept pushing me away? Yeah. Yeah, I possibly was. I knew Stratton, though. I knew this was worth it. Until he told me he didn’t want me in his life, and not because of external reasons, I would continue to push.

  That was what you did when you loved someone. You fought for them, even when they weren’t seeing things clearly. I didn’t care about looking like a fool. I didn’t care if this possibly ended in heartbreak. I wanted to be able to say that I had tried. I wanted to know I had done everything I could to keep him. To make him know that he was loved. Valued.

  My alarm buzzed as I walked over to turn it off, making me realize that I needed to get a move on with my day if I planned on being on time for my new job. Yeah, I hadn’t forgotten about that. I realized briefly that it was a bit later in the day than I expected, but I was glad I’d actually slept. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day.

  Mostly because I would be working at Mr. Carter’s legal office, and that meant spending time with Yates. Something I would normally complain about… but come on, after yesterday? No. I was very much excited to see him.

  Unfortunately, our dinner party with everyone had gone far later into the night than expected, so I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to the twins, Yates, or even Dermot about anything. Luckily, that also meant they couldn’t ask me questions about the Stratton situation. I had, of course, apologized to the twins for missing the end of their game. It had been while in the sitting room with our parents, and I had nearly turned bright red when Sterling had leaned over and told me that I could ‘make it up to them.’ Let me tell you, I was eager to know what that entailed.

  Extensively.

  Walking over to my closet, I easily pulled off my oversized shirt and fitted my frame with a black lace pair of panties and bra that matched a dark skirt I’d been itching to wear. It was a stiff material with a lace overlay that went out from the waist and hit mid-thigh. Probably not completely appropriate for a legal office, but it’d serve Yates right. I hadn’t even asked to be there!

  I slipped on a soft short sleeve blouse and tucked it in, the pale cream color complimenting the heels I slipped on. They were a special edition of cream Louboutins, the bright red bottoms matching the pair of earrings I chose. I didn’t get a chance to dress like this very often, so I was actually having a lot of fun, picking out ‘office attire.’ I adjusted my cleavage, wondering how much of an effect I actually had on Yates. I mean, I knew what King had said… but I guess I would just need to see for myself.

  Once in the bathroom, I washed my face and applied some light makeup with red tinted lip gloss. I pulled back the top half of my hair with a clip before looking over myself, feeling good about how I looked. Something that concerned me because of the frequency in the past few days—I hadn’t had this many positive thoughts about myself in a long time—but it probably wouldn’t last. My eyes darted to the scale across the room.

  I felt out of control for not weighing myself recently.

  I had eaten a small amount of dinner last night, but not nearly enough to constitute my concern. Not that it was ever really valid…

  Frowning, I f
elt myself waver slightly on the staircase as I made my way downstairs. Maybe I did need something to eat… Shaking my head, I got into my car, knowing my dad was at work and my mom was probably sleeping. Turning on some music, I considered picking up a smoothie. Almost as if knowing, my stomach cramped uncomfortably, and I sighed, knowing that I needed something to eat.

  As I made my way through the gates and into town, I realized that it was far sunnier than I had expected. Grabbing my sunglasses, I turned into the driveway of a juice shop and ordered myself a protein smoothie before making my way towards the office. The line had been a bit longer than expected, but luckily, I made it to the office right on time. Despite only being halfway through the smoothie, I left it in the car, feeling a bit sick at how quickly I had downed it. Or maybe it was the consideration of how many calories were in it.

  Shaking my head, I cleared my thoughts, not wanting to sour my good mood by thinking about food. Not today. As I stepped out of the car, my gaze ran over the Carter legal office. It was an elegant, single-story building surrounded by large trees, making the building look more cozy than one would assume from a prestigious law firm. I couldn’t help but smile at the late-blooming lilies that covered the front garden beds, clearly inspired by Mrs. Carter. That… that was actually very sweet. My lips pressed up, amused at the thought of Yates being that cute or romantic.

  The bossy bastard would never.

  I had been to the office several times over the years, but as I walked in today, I was struck again by how beautiful it was. The decor was tasteful, elegant, and warm, making you feel like you were in a house rather than a law firm. While I didn’t want this job, having some experience wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, especially from a place like this.

  “Hi there,” I offered to the man at the front desk, his eyes moving from his computer to me. I saw him scan over me before he flashed a cheerful smile and stood.

  “Hi, how can I help you, miss?” he asked curiously, my smile growing at the term ‘miss’ because it felt so formal. Unfortunately, the smile encouraged him, because he crossed his arms and leaned forward on the counter, offering me a smile that seemed to almost be attempting to be… sexy? Was that what he was trying to do? Oh. Man. If so, he was failing terribly. I almost felt bad.