Feeling His Steel

by Brynn Paulin

  Toby sighed. Wyn knew exactly what he was doing. If Toby focused on controlling his body, he couldn’t be pummeled by memories. And control was difficult with Wyn running his hands over him and exploring the crevice of his buttocks.

  Since Toby was ready, Wyn didn’t wait. He pressed his cock into Toby’s ass, moving past his slight resistance then driving forward. Instinctively Toby yanked his arms to try to propel his body into Wyn’s but the bonds held tight. The helplessness both aroused and grounded him. Wyn could do whatever he wanted to him, and Toby wouldn’t be able to stop him. But he completely trusted Wyn not to do anything that would injure him.

  And he never wanted to stop the in-and-out slide of Wyn’s wide cock, not the slight burn, not the fullness, not the pressure against his prostate that was making it nearly impossible to follow Wyn’s order.

  He tried to shift to relieve some of the pleasure pulsing through him at each drive of Wyn’s cock, but Wyn grabbed his hips. Relentlessly he fucked Toby’s passage. Toby’s head rocked back as his balls drew up.

  “Please,” he moaned.

  “Do. Not. Come,” Wyn replied in a strained voice.

  Toby’s head dropped forward. He didn’t want to disappoint Wyn by failing. The pillow beneath him was already damp with his pre-cum. He was but moments away. His teeth sunk brutally into his bottom lip, drawing his attention to the pain rather than the divine pleasure. He tried to divert his thoughts to non-sexual things, but the abrasion of Wyn’s thighs as they moved against his, the heat of Wyn’s cock possessing his ass, Wyn’s fingers biting into his hips…

  A cry strangled in his throat and his breath came in tortured pants. “Please let me come, my knight.”

  “Do. Not. Saints, Tobias, your ass feels so good around my bare cock.”

  Toby’s eyes went wide and the words nearly did him in. He craned his neck to the side and saw the condom still on the table. Bareback. Oh God, so good.

  Wyn pushed Toby’s head back to the mattress. “It matters not, squire. You are mine. I want nothing between us.”

  “I can’t. Oh please…”

  Wyn snaked a hand beneath Toby then yanked away the pillows so that the only thing holding him up was the knight’s strong forearm. The arm cooled Toby’s cock as it bobbed with Wyn’s thrusts. It did nothing to pull him back from the edge of release. Wyn wrapped his fingers around Toby’s length.

  “Ah shit!” Toby cried. His hands fisted. There was no stopping—

  “Come,” Wyn rasped. “Now. I want to feel your hot spending on my arm. Now, Tobias.”

  A bellow ripped from Toby as his cum sprayed Wyn’s arm and his own chest. His arms and legs pulled at the ropes, the restraint unforgiving. It drove his arousal even higher despite his release. Was that possible? Already he needed to come again.

  “Yes, Tobias,” Wyn groaned as Toby writhed. “Yes, squire. Milk my cock with your tight ass.” The hot flood of his release filled Toby and he shivered as a second wave of tremors shook his body. Together they collapsed to the bed and Toby found he could move his legs a bit when he was against the mattress rather than propped up.

  His breathing ragged, Wyn kissed the back of Toby’s neck. “All will be well, Tobias. I will not fail you again.”

  “You never failed me.”

  Wyn didn’t reply. He silently got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. As Toby lay still bound, he realized he wasn’t the only one struggling with guilt.

  * * * * *

  “That’s ridiculous,” David exclaimed when Toby explained it was likely he’d be returning to England following the board’s meeting. His jaw clenched as his finger tapped on the blotter on his desk.

  “I guess it doesn’t surprise me. There’s not a ton of acceptance around here.” Toby glanced over at Wyn who sat in the chair beside him. He hated that each day here disillusioned his knight more and more. As if reading his thoughts, Wyn gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.

  “You’ve got that right. Bryant had his tires slashed last week. Hate crimes in Grand Rapids? Shocking,” he said sarcastically. “It disgusts me. So does this business with the college. Do you have recourse?”

  “No. It’s a private institution. They have a decency clause in their contracts. I signed but at the time, I didn’t think it would be a problem or that they’d use it against me because I’m gay. Over the past two years, I’ve quickly come to realize they have no compunction about leveraging that section of the agreement.”

  “Bigots.” David paused. “Excuse my language, please. I get irate over this idiocy in this day and age.”

  “It surprises me as well,” Wyn said.

  David nodded, in accord with him. “I hate that we have to be so careful who we befriend, who we trust with the knowledge, what we show. It should be a non-issue. In some circles it is, but…” He let his thought trail off as a useless reprise of his frustration. He sighed. “Toby, you’ve always been so careful. What happened?”

  “We were, um, at the park. Sparring. And after Wyn knocked away my sword, I don’t know… We ended up on the ground and he—we kissed. Someone saw us and reported me.”

  David glanced down at his desk, tapping his forefinger again as if punctuating whatever was going through his head. He leveled his gaze at Toby. “Look… Confidentially the museum is deep in negotiations to expand our medieval collection. With the changing economic landscape of Michigan, we’re looking for a new foothold in the education and arts sectors. As part of the deal, we have to prove we have the wherewithal to care for the collection—hence the battery of questions the other day. We’re weeks from approaching you with the position. We’re familiar with you and know your work. You’ll be perfect, as long as this comes to fruition. It will delay things if you have to go back to England, but it won’t change our offer so don’t go selling your condo…” As Toby stared at him stunned, David looked at Wyn. “You were…sparring?”

  “Medieval sword fighting,” Toby supplied. His brain reeled. If Grand Riverside fired him, he might have his dream job after all. Of course the possibility remained that he might not. He’d have to figure out a way to keep that job until he was ready to leave it.

  Remembering Wyn’s credentials, an idea came to him. Toby had no idea what Wyn would do with his future, but he might give him a viable foothold. “Wyn is an expert in medieval lifestyle—especially that of the knights. He’s quite the aficionado. I know some fighting techniques, but Wyn is bent on improving me.”

  David steepled his fingers and tapped them against his lips as he sized up Toby’s lover. “You’d be interested in perhaps giving talks or demonstrations?”

  Wyn looked at Toby with raised brows as if to say, “What have you gotten me into”.

  “He’ll think about it,” Toby answered.

  “Excellent. I must add this to the proposal. It might bring us even closer to have another expert available. Demonstrations…” David said halfway to himself as he started writing frantically. “Yes. Should have thought of that.”

  Toby almost chuckled at the man’s instant immersion into his idea. “We’ll catch you later, David.”

  “Hmm? Okay. Call me if you need anything and please keep me updated so I know where to reach you. I’m here to talk if you need me.”

  Wyn and Toby headed out of the building. As they exited the museum, Toby impulsively hugged Wyn, the excitement of the career prospect overwhelming him. “This is the job I’ve always wanted,” he exclaimed.

  Wyn kissed his temple. “Congratulations, love. Perhaps losing your job at the school isn’t a terrible thing.”

  A blast of wind and a swat to his ass had Toby yelling, “Hey!” He looked up in time to see one of the teens who hung out at the museum’s parking lot whizzing past on his skateboard.

  He skidded to a halt and spun around, kicking at the end of his board and popping it into his hand. “Ah, c’mon you liked it.”

  Toby narrowed his eyes, his chin lowering. “Let’s get one thing straight, kid. Whethe
r I like guys or not, you’d better watch your step. I’m completely capable of kicking your ass, gay or not. And…you and your friends seem to like hanging out here and the museum tolerates it for some reason. Keep it up and you’ll find yourselves banished. Do you really want that?”

  The teen swallowed at Toby’s professor voice. “Um…no sir. I—we don’t mean nuthin’ by it. We just like clowning you.”

  “Well, stop. I don’t mind joking around with you, but I won’t put up with hateful behavior. Clear?”

  “Clear. So you’re not kickin’ us off the property?”

  “No. Not unless you give me a reason to. You’re not harming anything and as long as you leave people alone, I don’t have a problem.”

  “’Kay. Sorry, mister.”

  Toby walked toward him, thinking he should have said something a long time ago. He held out his arm. “Truce?”

  The skater stared at his hand then he looked over at his friends.

  “I’m not going to give you gayness,” Toby laughed. With an eye-roll, the teen enveloped Toby’s hand with his sweaty fingers. Toby mentally made a note to bring the guys some bottled water next time he came to the museum. The group played hard and he got the feeling they had no other place to go. Most places were anti-skater.

  Wyn shook the boy’s hand then he and Toby went to Toby’s car. It was then Toby noticed Wyn had stayed silent during the confrontation and hadn’t hulked up beside him and taken over. Toby glanced askance at him.

  “Well done, squire,” Wyn said when they were seated inside the car. “I told you the knight still lingered inside you.”

  “I like the knight inside me. Perhaps later?”

  “Definitely later. Perhaps sooner.”

  Toby sighed. “I need to be more careful. I was so happy with David’s news I wasn’t thinking. But…well, to tell the truth, I don’t want to lose my job at Grand Riverside. I’d quit in a minute, but I don’t want to be fired. Hell, all day today I’ve been fighting with myself. What can I do to keep from getting fired? What can I say? Or…should I just admit I’m gay and outright tell them? That would be the brave and heroic thing to do. But can I really? It’s also foolhardy. The economy sucks. What if David’s job doesn’t happen? I’ll be jobless with the black mark of being fired next to my name.”

  “So I am to remain at a distance.”

  Toby swallowed around the knot in his throat. He’d begun to get over the guilt of leaving Wyn before, but now he was failing him again. “I’m sorry.”

  Wyn shook his head and stared out the window, apparently immersed in his own thoughts.

  Wyn stifled a furious sigh that wanted to be a howl of frustration. They were in a constant dance. One moment they were making progress toward sexual freedom, the next Tobias was hiding. Again.

  He couldn’t say he didn’t understand. Not with everything he’d seen and heard. Not with what he knew of human nature and indoctrination. It seemed like a no-win fight, and he wasn’t sure how much he could take. Was this his punishment for denying his lover that day of Tobias’ death? Now he was fated to the inability to claim Tobias publicly though he wanted to. It was like the work of a demented imp.

  In truth Wyn fought with himself every time Tobias pretended their relationship was other than it was. Things kept to the shadows became withered and twisted. Perhaps they’d been well on their way there, years ago. Wyn didn’t want that for them. He didn’t want his insides filled with the poison of bitter resentment. He’d have to find a way to deal with this. Leaving Tobias wasn’t an option. But denying their love only seemed like a repeat of history that had had a destructive ending for both of them.

  “Tobias? If you do not lose your teaching position, what will we do?”

  “Continue on as we are, I guess. Be more careful. Hope that the job at Levey materializes.”

  Wyn nodded. “It would only be a matter of time before the school tries to attack you on another front. It is the way of things. Perhaps you should quit. Let me take care of you. You know taking care of you pleases me, and from what you’ve told me, I have the means.”

  “And be a kept man? Hmm… Enticing, but I’d go crazy with nothing to do.”

  Wyn snorted. He’d keep his squire busy. He understood Tobias’ reluctance as well. He too would be crazed with no useful occupation. Already the restlessness from it threatened him. It gnawed at his gut telling him he no longer had worth. Wyn knew better, but it built an anger within. And when Tobias pretended their love did not exist, it stoked that fire hotter.

  He fought to be calm. He was not a temper-driven knave. “I suppose training is not an option today. Will we go to the Y?” he asked.

  “If that’s what you want. I was thinking I’d veg on the couch and watch TV.”

  “Tobias…” Wyn sighed. “If I spend my life on your couch, I’ll get soft and grow a belly and you would not love me anymore.”

  “Of course I’d love you, silly knight.”

  Wyn laughed. “But you like my hard body better.”

  “I just like having your body here. Let’s leave it at that.”

  Then show me that, Tobias. Wyn nodded then looked out the window. “This veg on the couch sounds all right to me. I want to hold you.”

  * * * * *

  There was nothing on the television so Tobias turned on music and they lay together on the large couch while they talked. Wyn reclined behind him, his arms wrapped around his lover. Tobias laced their fingers together over his heart as he laid half on and half off Wyn. Wyn worked his knee between Tobias’ legs, entwining them.

  “If I lose my job, I’d like to go to your home and explore,” Tobias told him. “Is that not what I offered earlier?”

  “No. Earlier you said you’d take care of me.”

  Wyn gave him a quick squeeze. “I will always take care of you, job or not. I am your

  knight.”

  “What do you want me to be?” Toby asked good-naturedly. “You want me to be a

  warrior, but you want to take care of me—”

  “You may be the greatest knight of this time, but I shall always take care of you,

  Tobias. It is my God-given task.”

  “Hmm…”

  “Tobias, I have a boon to ask of you.” Wyn tipped his nose to Tobias’ shoulder,

  breathing in his essence and closing his eyes against possible rejection. He had to ask,

  despite the fear.

  “I don’t know… Last time I ended up in a knighthood refresher course and flat on

  my back. What do you want?”

  “David and Bryant… David called Bryant his partner. They are a couple?” “Yes…”

  “I want us to be a couple. As we could not be in the past. Even if we cannot tell a

  soul—at least not right now. I want my claim on you.”

  Tobias wriggled out of his arms and sat up.

  Despair weighed on Wyn. He shouldn’t have gone out on a limb. He slipped onto

  his back and tried not to look hurt as he regarded Tobias. At odds with Wyn’s thoughts,

  Tobias leaned forward and cupped his cheek. “I need to show you something.” He jumped up and disappeared down the hallway. A few minutes later, he

  returned with a small white box in his hand.

  “When I showed up on my family’s land, I was wearing these.” He removed the lid

  of the box and set it on the small table beside them then pulled out the two rings inside

  it and slipped them on his forefinger and his ring finger. “These are very similar and it’s

  obvious they were made to match,” he said. He tapped the one on his forefinger.

  “Perhaps we can get this one sized to fit you. I mean, if you want.”

  “There is no need.” Wyn took his hand. “Obviously you haven’t remembered all.”

  He slipped the ring off Tobias’ forefinger and placed the smooth silver band on his own

  ring finger. “I had wondered what became of these. No one kne
w. These rings…” He

  placed his hand beside Tobias’ and smoothed his thumb over the design carved into the

  top of Tobias’ ring. It matched Wyn’s band. “These hold my family crest. When I gave

  you that ring, I claimed you as my own. People thought it only that I was marking you as a valued member of the household. They were right…and wrong. And this ring,” he

  lifted his hand, turning it so the light caught the silver, “is mine.”

  “Yours? Why did I have it?”

  “You carried it because, during the journey, it had interfered with my new

  gauntlets. I needed them fixed but could not see to it until we returned home. I usually

  wore the ring when I did not have on my armor, but you had not given it back to me

  that night. Some nights you did not. I trusted it in your keeping. Just like I trusted my

  heart to you.”

  “Then I left.”

  “We have discussed this. You had no choice.”

  Tobias nodded tightly. “So we wear them from here on.” In contrast to his words,

  he pulled off his ring. But immediately he slipped it onto his other hand. “The left is the

  commitment finger.”

  Reaching for Wyn’s hand, he removed his ring as well then paused with Wyn’s left

  hand in his. “I’m yours, Wyn. And you’re mine. Forever. My knight and my love.” The band pushed into place at the base of Wyn’s finger, and he pulled Tobias down

  into his embrace, settling Tobias’ body over his as he sealed their pledge with a kiss. Forever didn’t seem long enough, but it was a start.

  Chapter Seven

  Despite Toby’s worry, the week passed with remarkable speed. He and Wyn spent every minute together better reacquainting themselves. Wyn did his best to distract Toby while Toby tried not to fret. He also did his best to bring Wyn up to speed on the twenty-first century, a monumental task even with someone as smart as Wyn. Thursday night they decided to get out of the condo. They were both weary from their efforts but eager for more time together.