Mask

by Jan Irving

  He had to fight down the part of himself that wanted to roll in the blood, touch the still-warm corpse. Of course, he knew who had killed the boy.

  NICK paced outside the school. Kain was twenty minutes late. Why was he waiting for him? Oh, yeah, because they needed to hash some things out.

  “Nick?” A hand gripped his arm.

  He jumped and then gave a weak laugh.“Oh, its you! Fuck, you scared me!” RED eyes, bleeding. Hands clenched into the bark of a tree, holding on. Watching from the shadows.

  Nick wasn’t alone. Someone… with him.

  Mark?

  Mark had kissed Nick. Mark screaming the night he died. Mark was dead. This had to be just another of his hallucinations. Everything jumbled in his head. Pain. Protectiveness. Rage.

  “MARK, how is this possible? I thought you were dead!” Nick hugged

  his friend, tears pricking his eyes. “Shit, oh, shit! They even had me identify the wrong body and it was fucking awful, thinking you were dead!”

  “ Poor Nick,” Mark whispered in his ear, pulling Nick close. “Were you upset? You were always so wrapped up in your art… and lately, him.”

  Mockery. Jealousy.

  Nick blinked, stiffening, then flushed self-consciously at the slap at both his dedication to his work and his relationship with Kain. “ Mark, you okay?” He pulled away from his friend. “Where have you been? You missed Kelseys lecture tonight. Fuck, youve missed a bunch of classes.”

  “Lets just say my priorities have changed.” Mark smiled. “No thanks to your boyfriend.”

  “Kain thought you were dead too. He regretted it.” Nick searched his friend s beautiful light eyes, seeing the same old Mark, except he was pale under the streetlamp. So what were his instincts trying to tell him?

  “Youve been sick or something? Where have you been all this time, Mark?”

  “In a manner of speaking. You could ask Finn.” Mark raised his brows. “ Finn! But he thinks youre dead too! He went with me to the morgue and he was really upset.” Nick ran a hand over his jaw as he thought it out, shuffling the pieces into a new, unexpected pattern.“I wondered if maybe you were with him the night you disappeared and he wouldnt admit it for some reason of his own. Possibly because he was afraid suspicion would fall on him and not just Kain.”

  “ So you dont entirely trust him?” Mark raised a brow. “Smart! Yes, I was with Finn. He actually gave me a tour of the grounds on Kains estate. They are quite extensive… and dangerous. Did you know there is an old wine cellar with a tunnel leading to it from the house?”

  “ Kain mentioned it. I think Finn keeps some herbs and stuff there.” Nick frowned, uneasy. “I still dont get why he didnt say he was with you that night, and that you were okay.”

  “Maybe he felt guilty. Or maybe he just forgot.” Mark shrugged. Nick crossed his arms, pissed. “Thats really unlikely! What could make him forget something so serious? And its such a weird coincidence, dont you think? Someone who looks so much like you, even wearing my jack—” Nick broke off and his eyes widened as one possible answer hit him.

  A few weeks ago, he would never have dreamed of the idea, but since then hed rubbed shoulders with shape-shifters and been claimed by a dark fey.

  He swallowed thickly, taking a step back from Mark, back toward the brighter, safer lights of the university. “And about Kain,” he clarified, trying to buy a little time until he showed. “We have an unusual relationship. Hes not what youd call normal. Something… happened to him.”

  “ Really?” Mark didnt blink, stalking slowly after Nick. He reached out so fast Nick didnt see the movement, playing with a strand of Nicks hair.

  Nick jerked away from the touch of chilly fingers. “Hey, dont!” Mark shrugged, not looking very remorseful.“Sorry. Its just that… we had a moment.” “ We did,” Nick agreed, trying to keep up a calm facade, although his heart was pounding and the back of his neck and his armpits were abruptly clammy with sweat. “But I think that window is closed.”

  “Closed, huh. So did you let him have you at last, Nick? Are his bruises on your skin? A man like him, youre right; he cant be gentle.” “ Uh.” Nick couldnt believe how things could skew so quickly. From shock and joy at seeing Mark… to asking questions… to suspecting the truth. “What happened between me and Kain is not something I want to talk about with you, Mark. Ever.”

  Primal. Kain coming out of the earth and bringing Nick down, claiming him. And after, licking him, caring for him. He had a feeling that Mark would understand the first, but not the second, experience. And anyway, hadnt he wanted to get away from Telemachus House so he could put in some thinking time and figure out what was going on? Hed hoped to have some time to talk with Marilyn, who always was a great guide. She might even have read enough supernatural romances to give him some kind of idea of how to deal with Kain, who didnt seem interested in understanding what he was now.

  He took a deep breath, hating that he felt afraid of his friend. “Do you want to borrow my notes for class? Im waiting for Kain now. Hell be here any moment,” he offered casually, hoping Mark would back off.

  Mark reached out for Nick s offered art portfolio bag, and opened it, pulling out sheets of Nicks careful sketching and notes and then letting them flutter to the damp pavement. “Naw.”

  “ Mark, what the fuck!” Nick knew then that this wasnt his friend anymore. Mark had been a passionate artist, and he had always respected Nicks work. “Oh, shit! What happened to you?” Chills whispered down his spine.

  “Nick Anders?” Nick glanced at the muscular blond stranger with compelling blue eyes who stepped out of the trees near campus. He almost sagged with relief since the last thing he wanted was to be alone with Mark!

  “Yes?” he rasped. “ Im Dr. Armand Leyland. Im a friend of Ross and Ive been looking for you.” Leyland stared at Mark and his expression tightened into a snarl. “Get away from him; he’s disgusting!”

  Too fast, way too fast for Nick to have any chance to evade him, Mark snatched Nicks arm. “ Mark!” Nick gasped in pain at the tight grip. “Fuck, that hurts!” “Hes mine,” Mark growled. “Back off!”

  “Let him go, creature!”

  “Creature?” Nick gave Mark a blank look. “I thought you were a—”

  Mark smirked. “Entertain me with your theory.” Nick swallowed. “It was you at the morgue. You were wearing my jacket and it would just be too unbelievable a coincidence that you would go missing and someone who looks exactly like you winds up—”

  “Dead,” Mark growled.

  “Yes.” Nick raised his chin. “So I think you must somehow be like Kain, a fae.”

  Mark shook his head slowly, still with that unsettling little smile. “Not quite.”

  “Cant you smell him?!” Leyland grimaced. “Nick, close your eyes and then look at him.”

  Something in Armand Leylands eyes. The certainty. Nick took a deep breath and then squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like a little boy who wanted to hide under his covers; he wasnt sure he wanted to know what Mark had become. But hadnt he told Kain that they had to shine a light on the shadows in their lives?

  The smell hit him first. Not the clean scent of damp earth and man, as when Kain erupted from the ground, but something like rotting cat food.

  Nicks eyes flared open. Mark stared back at him through milky eyes, fluid seeping down one pitted cheek showing burns, torn flesh… and a beetle crawling through a hole in the skin.

  “Shit!” Nick fell back and Mark allowed it, eerie smile on his lips. Nick covered his mouth, afraid hed vomit. Mark was nothing like Kain or Siren, who both possessed an almost unearthly grace. Armand Leyland stepped between Nick and Mark, giving off a welcoming vibe to Nick in that moment of Alpha and protective. “Revenant,” he cursed.

  “You know what I am?” Mark grinned, blood coating his lips from rotting gums. “Then you must know poor Nick is no match for me.” Armand shoved Nick toward the woods. “Run!”

  NICK crashed through the brush, branches s
triking his arms, stinging his cheeks.

  Getawaygetaway. How was it possible that he was so close to the place where he d sat through a lecture, just minutes earlier? It was like his life, mundane, normal, boring even, had been a thin membrane over what lay underneath.

  Hed been touched, changed, as soon as Obsidian hooked up with Moonbeam in a chat room. Shadows swayed in a sudden gust, foggy air making a nimbus around the balls of light from a nearby running track that cut through the parkland.

  Breathing ragged now, looking over his shoulder but seeing no sign of Mark—or the thing Mark had become—, Nick remembered coming here recently on a warm September afternoon and sketching, oblivious to what was to come.

  It felt like another life. It was another life. He d also lost track of Armand Leyland, his mysterious rescuer. And there was no sign of Kain, who had promised to meet him. Shit, where was he?

  A branch snapped against his face, a sharp wakeup call. Pay attention or you ’ll wind up dead… or worse, like Mark. You have to take care of yourself now. Kain will kick your ass if anything happens to you.

  Gut twisting greasily. Throat tight.

  Oh, Mark.

  Panting, he came at last to a familiar small clearing where he d often done some sketching in warmer weather. He knew the spot was located near the campus bus stop. As he trembled, listening intently to every small sound, wary of stepping in the light, he glimpsed the colorful costumes of trick-or-treaters passing on the sidewalk through gaps in the brush. Children escorted by parents. Fuck!

  A twig snapped like a shattered bone behind him.

  Caught in the net of this new nightmare, he swallowed, sweat running down his cheek. Shit! He didnt want to look behind him. He just knew it would be bad.

  Slowly he moved his head by inches, struggling to suppress the sound of his breathing, to not give himself away to what hunted him. Mark’s ruby dripping smile. “ Happy Halloween, Nick! Did you think Id forget our favorite sketching place? Its certainly the perfect night to meet a real monster, dont you think?”

  “Mark. God, Im so sorry about what happened to you, but you cant want to hurt me,” Nick breathed. “I really cared about you.” Marks milky eye widened. “Oh, I do care about you. Thats why Im going to do to you what your lover did to me.” Nick made a soft, disbelieving sound. “Kain wouldnt do that. He wouldnt hurt anyone I loved.” Kain, primal, taking. Kain, gentle, diffident in the wake of his dominance. Please, no. Don’t let it be him responsible for Mark being like this!

  Nick grappled to make sense of things. If he dashed out onto the street would the creature Mark attack those kids?

  The sick twist in his belly said yes.

  Trapped. He was truly trapped. If he went forward, he endangered innocent people. If he stayed here, Mark would—

  A hand snaked out of the wood. Dirty, fingernails crusted with blood. Yanking Mark under the trees— Shaking, Nick caught the sound of a choked-off cry of agony. The finality of the snap of bone.

  Chilled, Nick waited, heart pounding in his ears.

  What now?

  Kain stepped into the dim light, defused by swirls of low-lying mist, nude, twigs and leaves caught in his ragged hair, hand up to protect his sensitive eyes from the nearby streetlamp.

  He hesitated, staring at Nick dumbly, hunger burning silent in his green glowing eyes.

  Nick let out a deep sigh, arms wrapped around himself, still trembling. He closed his eyes tightly. “ Oh, thank God!” he whispered before opening his eyes again and confronting his lover. “I guess I really did need a ride home, uh, not that youre exactly dressed to offer one.”

  Holding Kain s innocent and feral gaze, knowing better, knowing he had to think about things, and maybe this was the time to break it off. Remembering how Kain had taken him, Finns warnings, what Mark had accused Kain of doing….

  Remembering all that, Nick went to Kain, feeling it was as inevitable as the rise of the moon. He cupped Kains scarred cheek and then embraced him, resting his head against his cool shoulder.

  “Thank you for saving me. Shit, I was so scared!” Nick took Kains bruised and bloodied hand and kissed it. Kain only stared back with glassy eyes, looking totally out of it. “Nick,” he rasped.“My Nick.” Shaky, torn fingers combed through Nicks hair.

  “Come on; we better find you some clothing!” Nick took Kains cold hand firmly, protectively.

  MY NICK.

  Nick could still feel the words like a warm pressure expanding in his chest as he walked through the woods near campus, his hand firm on Kains, guiding him. Kain loved him. He was scared to say it because of the darkness, the questions, surrounding his life, but Nick was sure of it.

  Kain lifted his head, and a minute later, Nick caught the sound of a jogger running toward them on the path.

  He tugged Kain behind a tree to hide his nudity. When the footsteps faded, he breathed a sigh of relief against Kains neck. Kain was shivering spasmodically, his eyes so dilated in the dim light that only a thin rim of bittersweet green remained. “N-Nick.” “Im here.” Nick plucked twigs, leaves, from Kains hair. “Shhhhh, Im here.” “ Red, hurting,” Kain mumbled. “Did I h-hurt you?”

  “No, you saved me. Dont you remember?”

  Kain shook his head slowly. “Never remember. I… didnt hurt?”

  “No, never.” Nick took one of Kains hands and stroked it gently, wishing he could touch all of Kain, his torn body, his tormented mind. Unable to give Kain what he needed with words, Nick wrapped his arms around him, ignoring the blood, the chilled skin. And, after a moment, Kain rested his head against Nicks shoulder.

  “Its all right,” Nick whispered. “You did what you had to. Now let me take care of the rest.” NICK peeled off his jacket, passing it to Kain.

  Kain stared at him, making no move to take Nicks offering.

  Nick made a soft sound of exasperation, mainly at himself. Kain was reduced to his most primal. Dangerous… but also innocent, vulnerable.

  “We wont be able to get to Marilyns if you dont wear it,” he told Kain. “And we need to get out of here so I can take care of you.” Kain slowly slipped on the jacket, which was just long enough to cover the essentials—barely.

  “HES IN costume,” Nick told the wary driver who was obviously

  reluctant to give Kain a ride.

  “As what, fucking Tarzan?” the man asked, shaking his head. Sighing, Nick pulled out his wallet and offered triple the fare.

  “COME on; youre shaking!” Nick kept his tone soft, which seemed to

  reach Kain. He hated seeing him like this, but at the same time, it felt right to take care of him. “Step into the shower so I can rinse you off and get you clean,” he urged.“Please, Kain, just let me help you. I want that, more than anything.”

  Kain looked back at him blankly, green eyes dazed, still seeming out of it, except every now and then his eyes would snap into focus on Nicks face.

  Nick rubbed Kains arms. Did the fey suffer from exposure? He didnt know, but Kain did not seem himself. “ I just want to help you,” Nick whispered. “You saved me, saved us both.” He pressed a gentle kiss against Kains lips, wanting to imprint comfort, safety, gratitude that they were together.

  HOT water struck Kains back, rousing him, stinging his eyes. He took a deep breath, wishing he could remember what had happened. Just… red mist images.

  And Nick. Familiar depression caught him, making him want to sink down, sickened by what he was; he fell to the shower floor and put his head on his knees.

  “ Hey, I go to get a fresh bar of soap and you crash. Literally.” Nick was suddenly there, inside the tiny wet space with him. He gently tugged a strand of Kains hair.

  Kain looked at him, one dull, sullen ache.

  “Shhhhhh.” Nick was all around him, refusing to leave him alone, his body a slight, strong imprint that Kain could feel, could hang onto. “Did I hurt someone?” “ You stopped Mark from hurting me,” Nick said. “And Mark… he wasnt Mark anymore. I think well need Sirens hel
p on what exactly he was.”

  He helped Kain stand up and picked up the only bar of soap he d been able to find, scented with lilacs, reminding Kain they were at Marilyns apartment. No wonder the shower booth was so small, not that he said anything to Nick, who was earnestly cleaning him off. But Kain didnt want to be seen by anyone else, wanted to go back to his mansion and bury himself in his rooms.

  He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the soap stroking his back, Nick paying careful attention to the scratches Mark had inflicted. As if anything could make him clean after everything he was afraid hed done, everything hed experienced since hed become a part of a dark, secret world.

  Nick soaping the scarred side of his face jolted him from reverie. He covered Nicks fingers, staying him. “ The scars are a part of you, and Im not going to pretend they arent there,” Nick stated, almost primly. “Siren implied you choose to wear them.”

  “Why would I do that?” Kain raised his eyebrows.

  “To punish yourself, probably.” Nick shook his head. “Im not going to let you go on doing that, because its just dumb.”

  “How can you stop me?” Pushy. Nick was so pushy, and prodded him to believe in himself. Nick wound his arms around Kain and rested his head against his chest. After a pause, Kains hand came up automatically, caressing Nicks back.

  “Behold my strategy,” Nick murmured.

  “THIS bed is too fucking small,” Kain groused. He was spooning Nick,

  scrubbed clean by him, head buried between Nick s neck and shoulder. At first Nicks warmth and scent had been soothing, but now Kain could feel need rise. He couldnt be close to Nick without wanting to possess him, hammer home with cock and touch that Nick was his. “We should go home.”

  “We will when weve both had some rest. Last night….” Nick