Mambo in Chinatown

by Jean Kwok

  “What?”

  “That you’re invited and I’m not. That I’m not a professional, and therefore not supposed to be with you.”

  “I don’t think he worries about us that much.”

  —

  I went to the party together with Nina. I kept thinking about the fact that Ryan was somewhere in the hotel but I knew it was better to focus on other things.

  “You should find yourself a pro tonight,” Nina said as she put on her makeup for the party. “If you need the room, just let me know.”

  “For what?”

  “Sex, what else?”

  “Where would you go?”

  She shrugged. “I’d bunk with another dancer. We always help each other out.”

  “I’m not going to be needing the room.”

  “We’ll see. You haven’t been to a professional party yet.”

  —

  The penthouse was filled with dancers. Women were leading other women, men leading men, and of course, men and women together. A rap song was blasting at full volume. We passed Mateo dancing up a storm with a man I didn’t know. Mateo saw us, gave us a wink and a kiss, then said to his big handsome partner, “Okay, baby, I’m leading now,” and they switched leads. The other guy kicked his heels back in a flip as Mateo dipped him. An old friend of Nina’s grabbed her when the music changed. She winked at me as she was whisked away. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone else had years of history together. I wasn’t sure I should have come.

  Now Adrienne was at the stereo, changing the music and calling, “Hustle time!” Dominic took her in his arms and they started spinning and breaking at high speed. I’d never seen them dance together before. They were incredible.

  Then someone took me into dance position and I found myself face to face with Julian. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, looking much younger than I’d seen him, and he was more attractive than ever. I felt as if I’d been picked by the prince himself. It took me a second to figure out the hustle steps, but once I understood it was similar to western swing, I caught on pretty fast. Julian could move. It was so effortless, I could let myself go, trusting my body to his magical hands. I must have been glowing with pleasure.

  I tilted my head and asked, “How am I doing, coach?”

  “Beautifully.” He had such a sexy smile.

  The music changed to cha-cha and I said, “My turn to lead.”

  Julian grinned as he took the lady’s part. Of course, he was as light and fast as the best woman I’d ever danced with. I felt as if I’d been driving around in a rusty old heap my entire life and now sat behind the wheel of a Lamborghini. I had only to give him the slightest tap and he spun like a dervish. Then the music changed and he took me in dance hold again. We were dancing number after number together, and I knew people had noticed, but I was enjoying myself so much, I didn’t care. When I was with Julian, I was someone, I belonged.

  As the night went on, the dances became more intimate until I found myself backed against a darkened corner, doing the lambada with Julian. He had one hand braced against the wall, holding a glass of champagne. Our hips were rocking together in tiny circles, while his other arm was wrapped around my waist. He leaned forward, then brought the champagne glass to my lips and fed me another sip. My eyes fluttered closed. The party, the dancing, Julian. It was so intoxicating. I didn’t want to think or worry anymore: Pa, Lisa, Ryan all seemed like heartaches I could ignore, if only for one night.

  Then Julian had gotten rid of the glass somehow and had my hand in his again. He rubbed the back of my hand against the faint stubble on his cheek. “We feel good together, don’t we?”

  He had lowered his forehead to mine now. His breath was scented with strawberries and champagne. He turned my hand so that it lay against the side of his neck. I felt the silk of his skin, the sweep of muscle revealed by his thin T-shirt. Then his lips were on mine and the tip of his tongue was tracing the curve of my lips, parting them. He started to trail a line of kisses along the side of my neck. I drew breath and tried to clear my mind. “Julian.”

  “Mmmm?”

  My voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be the next woman on your girlfriend list.”

  Julian drew back and looked at me reproachfully. “How can you do the lambada with a man, then tell him no?” I smiled, as he’d meant me to, and he continued speaking. “You think I say this all of the time, Charlie, but I don’t. You’re special to me. I’d like to discover how special. I know I have a reputation, please don’t hold it against me. Give me a chance.” His eyes were sincere, and just a shade vulnerable.

  What would it mean to love the glorious Julian? To have him for myself, to be a dancer with him by my side, if only for a while? I could go to bed with him tonight. We’d have a wonderful time. How everyone would be amazed and impressed that he’d chosen me. Would it be so wrong to give him the chance he’d asked for? Julian bent forward and lifted my chin with his thumb. He kissed me on the lips while his fingers caressed the vulnerable skin of my throat.

  An image of Ryan, how he’d looked at me when I left the taxi that night, flashed across my mind. I opened my eyes. I reached up with both hands and gently pulled Julian’s away.

  He studied my eyes. “He’s forbidden, you know that.”

  I nodded and couldn’t keep the sadness from my face. Ryan wasn’t mine.

  “Am I such a poor substitute?”

  “You’re too good to be a stand-in for anyone, Julian.” I reached up and threaded my fingers through his hair. “I’m flattered. I admire you. You’re so sexy. But I’m just realizing that maybe I love him.”

  Hurt and anger crossed his face. He drew back as I let my hands drop away from him. “Do you know why I won so many competitions?”

  I said nothing.

  “Because I can’t abide losing.” And with that, he released me and walked away.

  —

  I didn’t want to stay in our room and have to answer all of Nina’s questions when she returned. I couldn’t sleep now anyway. I thought about what that student in the elevator had said about the sauna. I undressed, grabbed a robe and followed the signs to the sauna downstairs. I hadn’t brought a bathing suit but it was deserted anyway. I took off the bathrobe and hung it up, wrapped a towel around myself and lay down on my stomach on the heated wooden bench. I cradled my head in my arms. What had I done? I’d hurt Julian and now he was angry at me too. What a mess I’d made of everything. I closed my eyes in the steamy room.

  I’m not sure how long I lay there but I must have fallen asleep because I woke as the sauna door clicked closed. It was Ryan. He was naked to the waist, wrapped in a towel, with droplets of water dripping from his chest. He must have gone swimming. All of my longing was in my eyes. He crossed the room and knelt in front of my face.

  As he reached for me, I stopped his hand. “What about Fiona?”

  “We broke up last weekend.”

  I blinked, trying to take it in. Ryan was available. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I tried. I’m not the smoothest guy, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m not like Julian.”

  I had to say it. “I just came from him.”

  His face stilled. His open hand clenched into a fist. “Did you—?”

  “No. Being with him made me understand how I feel about you.”

  I felt him exhale. I peeked from under my lashes. His face was exultant. Then his palms were on the nape of my neck. I let my eyes close again and felt his hand push my towel aside and run down the length of my spine. His lips were at my neck, making their way around to my collarbone. I reveled in his touch; I couldn’t believe that, finally, Ryan could be mine. None of the rest mattered: what Pa might say, what the studio might do. With Julian, I’d been infatuated, carried away by his glamour and charm, but Ryan recognized me as I truly was and filled my soul.

  I
turned over and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down for my kiss. I arched up and when my naked breasts touched his skin, I felt his sharp intake of breath. Still kissing me, he wrapped his arms around me and stood up slowly, until I was cradled in his arms. Now he let my legs go and I was standing nude on the sauna bench, pressed against him. I was taller than him this way. I bent over and started licking the droplets of water from his neck and shoulders. He tasted of chlorine and salt.

  “Come back to my room with me.” His voice was hoarse.

  I kept licking. I was kneeling, at his chest now. His hands ran across my body.

  One palm cradled my head and tilted my face up. He traced my eyebrow with his finger. “Will you come?”

  I nodded. He picked me up and set me by my bathrobe. I put it on, then he tied the sash neatly around my waist. He shrugged his on, took my hand, and we headed upstairs.

  —

  The next morning, I woke up with Ryan’s arms wrapped around me and turned to him with a smile.

  “Good morning.”

  With his eyes still closed, he started to stroke my body underneath the sheets. I kissed him and his beautiful eyes opened. He murmured, “I was afraid I’d dreamed it.”

  “Me too.” I studied his face, so close to mine.

  “Do you regret it?”

  “Never.”

  His face filled with joy. “I’ve been crazy about you ever since you gave that guy his tip back.”

  He kissed me again and again. When he gave me the chance to breathe, I said, “So I think I missed the part where you tried to tell me you and Fiona had broken up.”

  “In the van. I was going to say it but I was scared you’d say it didn’t matter, that you didn’t feel that way about me, so I tried to figure out first if you cared about me. You know, pave the way a bit. That’s when you told me you weren’t attracted to any of your students.”

  “Oh. I meant my other students.”

  “Great, that was very clear. Not.” His smile was crooked. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you at all. I’m a risk to the job you love, while Julian fits into your life perfectly. He could make you a star. I guess I didn’t know if you’d pick me over him, I wondered if you even should.”

  “I realized when Julian kissed me how I felt admiration and affection for him, but no more than that. It’s like you see who I am beneath it all, underneath the dancer and the dishwasher and all of the other labels.”

  He pressed his thumb to my lips and started stroking them, then kissed me tenderly. “What about your job?”

  “You’re leaving the studio anyway. I think if we keep our relationship quiet for a while, we’ll be all right. What happened with Fiona?”

  “I’d known for a while that it wasn’t working, I just didn’t want to hurt her. Then I met you and started to have feelings for you. You contributed to the timing with Fiona, but it would have happened anyway. When I saw her at the wedding last weekend and people started asking us when it’d be our turn, I knew it was all wrong.”

  “It must have been hard to tell her.”

  He simply nodded. “And how did Julian receive your rejection?” His voice was casual but his eyes were intent.

  “He was hurt. He might take it out on us in the competition today.”

  “Let him do his worst. What other people think of us, whether we place last or first, isn’t what really matters. If we feel that we’ve danced well, that’s all that counts.”

  Now I laid the tips of my fingers against his temple. “I wish I’d met you years ago.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “Thank you for sticking with this competition. It meant so much to me that you agreed to do it.”

  He grinned. “I couldn’t resist getting to spend more time with you. Now I want to know everything else there is to know.”

  My worries about Lisa and Pa came rushing back to me. I rolled over onto my back. “Well, first, I’ve been lying to my family about everything. My father didn’t even discover I’m a dancer until a few days ago, and he was very angry. I think he believes I’m some kind of stripper.”

  “Charlie, you’re one of the most honest people I’ve ever met. You must have had good reason and he’ll probably see that someday. Can’t your little sister help him understand?”

  I blinked and gazed at the ceiling, trying not to cry. “Lisa’s sick. There’s something wrong with her legs and she’s having trouble walking. She’s been acting strangely. I’m so scared.”

  “That sweet girl I met?” I heard the emotion in his voice. He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly. “What burdens you’ve been shouldering alone.”

  —

  Later, Ryan and I separated so we could go down to the ballroom discreetly.

  Nina raised an eyebrow when I slipped into our room. “Well? Was it the smart choice or the dumb one?”

  “Brainless is my middle name.”

  Nina came over and put her arm around me. “That’s my girl.”

  “How did you know?”

  She snorted. “So obvious.”

  Early that afternoon, Nina and I got dressed for the scholarship competition together. When we were done, she was in a slinky red dress covered with fringe, her hair in a French twist. My bright blue dress glittered with the stones I had spent so many hours sewing on. If only the world could know how many thumb pricks it had cost me. Catching sight of myself in the mirror—the way the dress clung and swung when I moved, the way the light hit my face—I realized for the first time: I looked like Ma.

  Then we joined hands and went downstairs to meet our partners.

  —

  There had to be at least a thousand people sitting at tables watching the dance floor. Cameras were set up everywhere for video, and the professional photographers circulated through the crowd, taking photos during the competition. Ostrich feathers and stones hung everywhere, with the many fragrances perfuming the air. It was now social dancing before our event. The couples on the floor could all actually dance, so it looked like a scene from a Broadway show. The entire crowd in motion rotated counterclockwise as it was supposed to, with the women swirling in their brightly colored evening gowns.

  A man came up to me and said, “You’re from the New York studio, aren’t you? I’ve heard of you. You must be the Princeton graduate.”

  “No, actually, that’s her.” I pointed to Adrienne, in a dark green dress that clung to her body as she danced with one of our students.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Since you’re Asian, I just thought . . .” His voice trailed off.

  Then I caught sight of Ryan and my breath hitched. Instead of the traditional black shirt and pants that most male Latin dancers used, he was wearing a white tuxedo shirt and black pants, without a jacket. He was staring at me as if he couldn’t stop. I went over to him and he swung me into a waltz with the rest of the social dancers. I danced with the crispness of his shirt underneath my fingers, the scent of his cologne embracing me.

  —

  As Nina and Keith were finishing their rumba, just before we were to go on and perform our routine, I spotted a Chinese man at a center table. He had gray hair, angular features, and was watching the dancers with great intensity. Pa. I gulped for air. What was my father doing here? And, oh gods, Lisa was sitting next to him, looking very young here.

  Ryan noticed my panic. “What’s wrong?”

  “My father and sister are here.”

  He squeezed my hand, and we were on. I could hardly breathe. The crowd was immense. I was going to forget my steps. I was only a dishwasher. My mind was a complete blank. But then I met Ryan’s eyes. He held out his hand to me and our music began.

  My body must have remembered the hours of training we’d done, but I was only conscious of the music and of Ryan. I moved with him, and even when he wasn’t touching me, I could almost touch
our connection as if it were an invisible bond between us. I felt the ache of all the months we hadn’t been able to be together, the satisfaction of our love now, and the exhilaration of finally accomplishing what we set out to do. We were two people who a year ago hadn’t met or set foot in a dance studio, and now we were doing our dance together in front of some of the best dancers in the country. I had done it.

  When the music stopped, I saw that Dominic and Adrienne had risen to their feet applauding. Ryan’s eyes were only focused on me. He turned me out under his arm and I sank into a low curtsey. It was hard to tell under the stage lights, but I allowed myself to believe the judges were beaming at us. Julian was writing notes, his head down, and I couldn’t make out his expression.

  We stepped off the floor, then walked back on while the other contestants joined us. The judges tallied their scores as I scanned the crowd for Pa and Lisa. They seemed to be gone now. Perhaps I had conjured them for inspiration. Nina rushed up and gave me a quick hug.

  “You nailed it,” she said.

  I held her by the shoulders. “You were fantastic too.” I turned to Keith, who was standing beside her. “You were both stunning.”

  “I couldn’t take my eyes off the two of you,” said Keith.

  And the announcer was naming winners. We weren’t the sixth place couple, nor the fifth. I couldn’t believe it. Then the announcer said, “In fourth place, Georgina Petrov and Hendrik Stevens!” We all clapped politely. My dress felt too tight, I was gasping to breathe.

  Now it was only Nina, Keith, Ryan and me, and one other couple left on the floor. It was the first time Ryan and I had ever competed and we were still in the running. I closed my eyes. I had danced better than I ever had before, we both had. Then the master of ceremonies called out another set of names for third place, and they weren’t ours. Could this really be happening?

  The announcer said, “And in second place, Charlie Wong and Ryan Collins!” My jaw dropped, then Ryan and I were walking onto the center of the floor to accept our bouquets. I was thrilled. I sought the judges’ table and saw Julian there, his eyes now upon me. He blew me a tiny kiss, then turned away.