It's Never Easy: A Boudreaux Universe Novel

by Dani Rene

  “Good morning,” I say, but it’s stilted, pained.

  “The emails I need done are on the desk,” he tells me, his voice only slightly slurred. He takes a long swallow of the strong alcohol, winces, then lifts his gaze to mine once more. “There are also caterers that need confirming, and I’d like you to get the gallery ready. I have someone coming in later to help set up the artwork.” His voice seems far away. He doesn’t ask me how I am, or even what I’m feeling. So, I don’t offer up anything more.

  I nod and turn to make my way into the house. Even though I was prepared to tell him we should be professional from here on out, the way he’s dismissed me hurts. I blink back the tears as I grab a coffee before heading into the office.

  I should’ve known that an asshole never changes. Frustration burns through me, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m affected by his actions. I’m stronger than that. Settling behind the desk, I open my laptop and start working. Everything he told me needed doing has been printed out and left with notes.

  I don’t know when he did these, but I have a feeling he hasn’t slept at all. Sighing, I sip my coffee before I get started on the emails. Once the caterer is confirmed, I open a job listing website to start looking for something else.

  If this is how it’s going to be, I can’t work here. Suddenly, a glass shattering bounces off the walls, and I jump at the sound, but I don’t go to him. I have to force myself to sit on the chair and not race to see if he’s okay. I feel torn between admitting that I’ve fallen for him or just waiting until he’s going to confess what he’s feeling.

  The door of the studio slams loudly against the jamb, and I know he’s finally hidden himself away. My chest aches, the tears burning my eyes threaten to spill, and I sit back, breathing deeply as I consider what to do. Going to him might only anger him more, so I wait in the office, not working, just trying to come up with a plan. I need to figure out how to get through to him.

  I glance at the time and find it’s almost two in the afternoon. I’ve worked past lunch, applying for a couple of jobs. But what captured my attention was the email I received from Julian’s contact. He sent it to me directly, but I am sure he must’ve blind copied Julian. It’s my mother’s childhood home address.

  I spent an hour looking at the Google map, staring at the house on the street view option. Even though I can’t see inside, I can only imagine my mother playing in the garden as a child. The house is gorgeous. It’s clearly been refurbished over the years because I notice the railings have been painted, and the outer wall looks slightly different from the photo I had from my mother’s memory box.

  She always kept a shoebox with photos and trinkets from her younger years. And the only thing that really meant anything was the photo of her as a twelve-year-old standing at the wall, smiling into the camera.

  I know I need to go there, to see her home, and I’d love to go there this weekend. Perhaps even see if the family living there would let me inside so I can just see what it looks like.

  Pushing off the chair, I head outside, needing some fresh air. Everything that’s happened in the past few days has still got me wound up. I don’t know what to expect when Julian’s wife gets here, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find another job in the city, but I know I have to get away from him.

  I knew allowing myself to feel something for him was a mistake. The sun is bright today, beating down on me as I step off the porch and onto the grass. It’s soft underfoot, and I walk toward the center of the expansive garden. There are flowers that line the property. The colors are exquisite, drawing my attention to them immediately.

  “It was my pride and joy for a long time,” Julian says from behind me, startling me as he comes closer. He doesn’t touch me. Instead he stops a few yards away from me. It’s almost as if he’s scared to be too close.

  “It’s a beautiful garden. I’ve always enjoyed spending time outdoors.” Even as I speak to him, my voice is tinged with frustration at our situation. “I’m grabbing lunch. I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “If you want to take a half-day, that’s fine. I’ll have lawyers here this afternoon, and I didn’t think you’d want to sit and listen to us talk.” There’s tension in his tone. He’s nervous, because when I look up at him, he turns away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And he leaves me staring at his retreating form.

  I could’ve told him I’d stay. But I didn’t.

  “Thank your contact for the address,” I call after him, but all he offers is a wave, his head bowed, his focus on the ground rather than what’s happening around him.

  When I arrived this morning, he looked worse for wear, and even though he still looks troubled, I realize it’s not up to me to fix anyone. I need to focus on myself.

  With a heavy heart, I go to pack up my things. As I’m walking down the driveway toward the Uber I called, a car rolls up toward the house, and I notice two well-dressed men in the front, and in the back is a buxom blonde who looks out of place here. Even though the plantation house is expensive and well maintained, and the gallery brings in thousands of dollars, this woman looks like she’d be more comfortable in front of the spotlight, being hounded by paparazzi.

  Ignoring the burning bite of jealousy, I walk away from Julian and whatever drama is about to unfold in that house. I have the address to my mom’s old home. Perhaps today is the day I need to pay a visit and focus on something other than the love life I thought I had.

  Chapter 24

  Julian

  The moment Nea left, I felt the loss. But I needed her to leave so I can say goodbye to my past. Once I can do that, Nea and I can finally sit down and talk. I want her to know me, all of me. And I need her to know that I love her.

  My phone buzzes, and when I glance at the screen, I see Eli’s name flashing at me. I answer, “Hey, man.”

  “You okay?” he asks, knowing Shay is coming here today. I told him via text message, and when he called me back, he advised me to tell the bitch where to go, but I haven’t yet. I need to know what she wants from me.

  “I don’t know. I just fucking sent Nea away.”

  “Why?” I can hear the confusion in his voice, and I know I should’ve asked her to stay, but this is a fight I need to finish before I can focus on Nea.

  “Because I can’t let her see this bitch who’s torn my life apart,” I bite out, anger at the situation taking ahold of me.

  “I get it. But remember one thing. Nea is your future. Don’t jeopardize it for Shay just because you were married.”

  “I know. Thanks for checking in on me. But once I’ve gotten the papers signed, she’ll be in my past, where she belongs.”

  “That’s exactly right. You found a good girl. Kate was gushing about Nea, and I think you can be happy with her. Just don’t let Shay fuck with your head again.” Eli is right, as he usually is, but I don’t tell him that, or I’ll never hear the fucking end of it.

  “Thanks, man. It means a lot that you both like Nea because I think I’ve fallen hard,” I admit to my best friend. He’s known me for far too long, and I know he’ll see the change in me.

  “Oh, I know that; so does Kate. That’s why she made me call you today,” he tells me with a chuckle. “Be strong, man. Call me when you’re done.” Once he hangs up, I can’t help but smile. He’s been a good friend, level-headed compared to me. And Kate’s been a godsend.

  Shay suddenly glides through the house as if she owns it. The hate I have for her is stronger than I could ever have anticipated. I’ve always been an angry person, always focused on myself, on my pain and my heartache, but Nea changed that for me. She made me see more than I could ever have imagined. But now that Shay is back, I feel like that young, inexperienced boy again.

  It doesn’t help that she’s older than me. It also doesn’t help that she was the one who wanted the marriage, the name, and the fame when all I needed was someone who would take me as I am. Who accepted my brooding personality and lightened my world wit
h color.

  “Seems like not much has changed,” Shay says as her lawyers follow her through the house. They settle at the dining room table with their briefcases and files. Moments later, Morgan, my lawyer, saunters in looking confident with a grin as he shakes my hand.

  “Nice to see you again, Julian. Sorry it wasn’t under better circumstances.” His voice is low, a whisper, so Shay doesn’t hear him. “If she makes any more demands, we’ll shoot her down.”

  I nod, but I don’t feel as confident as he seems. Shay may be a gold-digging bitch, but she’s a clever one.

  Morgan and I head for the table, I settle at the head, with Morgan beside me, and Shay with both her lawyers on the opposite end. It’s not the biggest of tables, but it offers space between us. I don’t ever want to be near her again.

  “What is this about?”

  “I want money, Julian. And since we’re married, I’d like to take the opportunity to remind you that I’m entitled to it.” She taps a long, red fingernail on the smooth wooden top, and I recall the day she slapped me after I told her I never loved her. We had a fight, I was drunk, and when she turned around and her hand crashed against my face, I felt the sharp talon cut into my skin.

  I never once hurt her; I never retaliated because I believed I was the bastard, and she was putting up with me. Now I know better. She’s the viper, and I’m here wanting her out of my life.

  “How much do you want? How much will it cost me to have you sign the legal paperwork and get out of my life?”

  “Does your confidence brim from that pretty girl I saw walking out of your house earlier?” Shay’s mention of Nea makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. My body tenses when I realize she saw the girl who’s taken over my life. And my heart.

  “This has nothing to do with anyone else. This is between you and me, Shay, and you know it. Stop making excuses and stop dancing around the subject. I want you gone. I no longer want to have anything to do with you or that bullshit of an excuse you gave me for not wanting to sign in the first place. We’re done.”

  “And you know, as much as I’d love to give you what you want, I feel it’s necessary for me to note that if you’re cheating on me, I’ll get a lot more than I’m asking for.”

  My hands fist under the table. The tension in my muscles only tighten further, and the need to break something has a grip on me. I wanted to get this done and see her out of my house for good, but I have a feeling it’s going to take longer than I thought.

  “Give me a price and I’ll pay it,” I tell her. “I want you out of my life, and I’m willing to meet your monetary demands.”

  “Mr. Lewis will handle the signing of the paperwork,” one of the lawyers who entered with Shay tells me. He points to the one in a dark shirt and suit and a silver tie.

  Mr. Lewis speaks up then. “Mrs. Elliot would—”

  “She’s not Mrs. Fucking Elliot,” I bite out, pinning the asshole lawyer with a glare I’m sure he can feel right down to his bones.

  “My client would like five hundred thousand dollars, paid into her account within twenty-four hours. She’s agreed to finalize the divorce papers within the time frame, if you agree.” Shay knows as well as I do the sum she’s asking for is nothing. I have that in small change.

  “What else does she want because that makes no sense?” I keep my gaze on him. I don’t turn to her because if I do, I may lose all self-control, and I could easily find my hands around her neck.

  Through every word and each nuance, my full attention is not here. I’m torn between being at this table and with Nea. I sent her home because I didn’t want her to be the target of Shay’s rage and jealousy. It was better that way, but it doesn’t stop the fact that I feel like a complete and utter asshole for doing it.

  Having Nea hate me is better than having her be ridiculed for her choice in men by my soon-to-be ex-wife. And I’ll make sure she’s my ex-wife before this fucking day is over.

  “That’s all I want.”

  “Then explain why you needed to stay married to me and lie about signing the divorce papers. I could just sue you for illegal activities because of that. You do realize it. Don’t you?”

  “That’s got nothing to do with you. I chose to stay your wife for my own personal reasons. Now, it’s done, and I need to move on.” Shay’s voice betrays her outward confidence. She’s scared of something. Or is she afraid of someone?

  “What reasons would you possibly have?” I bite out, frustration taking hold of me. Her eyes spark with secrets, and for a moment, I think I’m about to hear something that could change my life.

  “I was pregnant.” Her words have my heart falling to my feet with a heavy thud.

  “What?” My voice is barely audible, croaked from my throat.

  Her face twists into a grin, pure evil and satisfaction on her features, and I’ve never hated her more. I’ve never truly hated someone before, but with Shay, I do.

  “I was pregnant, but I lost the child three months after I left,” she finally admits, and it feels as if my world is crashing down around me.

  “And you didn’t think to tell me this?” Rage shudders through me like lightning in a storm, cracking, buzzing, alive with electric energy.

  “Like I said, I’m done. Time to move on.” Her cold, aloofness is her act, because she doesn’t look at me as she says this.

  “Shay—”

  “I said I’m done. Send me the money and I’ll leave you for good.” There is no arguing with her. She’s made up her mind. Not that I’d take her back, but she doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.

  Pushing the chair away from the table, I head into the office to grab my laptop. When I return, everyone is still seated. Morgan is flicking through documents as I settle back in my seat and open my computer.

  Once the browser is open, I log into my online banking and make the transfer. I know it can’t be as easy as this, but I’m going to do it anyway. Anything to get away from my ex-wife. Anything to be free to make a new life for myself.

  The moment the transfer is confirmed, I hear Shay’s phone beep in her purse. She takes it up, flicking the screen with her long nails, and she nods.

  “Thank you,” she says, shocking me at her being thankful for anything. She forced me into this, coerced her lawyers into doctoring paperwork, and now she wants to say thank you?

  I bite back my retort. If I say anything now, it may just backfire on me. One of her lawyers pushes the paperwork toward her along with a pen. I watch as she signs the documents, initialing the pages. She looks up before she signs the last page, and I wonder if she’s waiting for me to stop her.

  I won’t.

  I will never stop her.

  Once it’s done, I sign my name where needed and initial the same way she did. My gut still churns because I didn’t believe she would go away this quickly, so easily. Even though she wanted a large sum of money, it doesn’t make sense that she would come all this way to do it.

  Mr. Lewis passes me my copies after he’s gone through to make sure we all have signed copies. I allow Morgan to look them over before he pulls his phone out and calls someone.

  “I’d like to confirm paperwork with you,” he speaks into the phone, and I sit back and wait for him to send through photos of all the pages, then he waits on the line to hear what his contact says.

  I’m almost certain he’s talking to a judge I know he’s been seeing. She’s one of the best, and I wish she were here just to oversee this bullshit.

  “Thank you,” he says and hangs up before looking at me. “All good.”

  I take the copies and rise. “You can see yourselves out. Morgan, thank you again for everything.” I shake his hand before he leaves. As the two other men rise, I watch them for a moment, and as they head for the door, I turn and make my way into the privacy of my office. Hearing the clicking of heels behind me, I groan in frustration. In the office, I make sure to file the documents away and turn to find Shay.

  “I wanted t
o ask you a favor.”

  “You’ve already done enough. You can see yourself out the same way you did when you left me the first time.” I don’t go to her. I don’t even move around the desk because I don’t want her near me.

  “Julian—”

  “No, Shay, it’s done,” I bite out, more frustration taking ahold of me, and I’m about to slam my fist into something when the door swishes open, the floorboards attracting my attention with their haunting creak, and Nea steps into the office.

  Her eyes are on me, but I can tell she’s nervous being here. She came back. My heart does some stupid flip, and my gut churns both with anger at her seeing Shay and with happiness at her coming to me.

  At least, I hope she’s coming to me.

  Chapter 25

  Nea

  Two sets of eyes are on me. They watch me intently, what my move is, but even I don’t know that. Julian sent me home, told me he didn’t want me here, but the way he’s looking at me right now tells me that he may have made a mistake. That he probably regrets it.

  “Is this your new pet?” Shay mumbles. She looks nothing like the woman I pictured Julian to be with. Her stare is filled with jealous anger, and for some reason, I want to smile. I may not be a pet to anyone as she thinks, but I know I make Julian happy.

  “I’m no pet,” I spit the word, finding my confidence, and straightening my spine. “I suggest you listen to Julian and leave. There’s no longer a place for you here.” I move deeper into the room, sashaying past her toward the desk where Julian is standing with hands fisted at his sides.

  “Seems like you enjoy leftovers,” Shay snarks. “Enjoy them. And when he turns into a drunken recluse just like his father, you’ll be the one taking out the trash.” Her warning startles me for a minute, but all I can do is smile in response. I’ve been around artists, I know what they’re like, but from the look of her, she would be more comfortable in a penthouse in the city where she can bask in the bright lights and nightlife.