Reign or Shine

by H J Welch

  Matty pulled it out of his pocket, handing it over. Their fingers so nearly touched, and Matty felt a thrill that maybe he hadn’t touched Cas for the last time.

  Within seconds, Cas pulled the back off it, revealing its SIM card. And something else. “What?” Matty asked at Cas’s grim expression.

  “I think your phone’s been cloned,” Cas said. He pulled the minuscule disk from where it had been resting inside Matty’s phone. “I also think this is a tracking device.”

  A wave of nausea rolled over Matty. He opened the car door and hurriedly stepped outside and leaned against a tree, taking deep breaths. He wasn’t surprised that Cas also got out, but Matty was relieved that he kept his distance. He was too busy panicking to work out if throwing himself into Cas’s arms would be a relief or a disaster right about now.

  “What’s happening?” Matty asked. “How is this my life? I thought I was being wild and having a vacation romance, like a normal person. But there’s absolutely nothing normal about this situation!” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and choked back a sob.

  He’d never wanted to be famous, like the actors in the plays he worked front of house for. The last thing he’d ever desired was to be in the spotlight. His life was such a pitiful disappointment, but that hadn’t seemed to matter between him and Cas before. But now his personal business was out in the open for all of Rosavia – all the world – to see, thanks to von Tarr. They’d all be asking why a prince would ever be interested in broke Matty Doyle from Queens, who had to work two jobs just to pay rent on the small room he lived in. Someone whose parents didn’t even love him enough to stick around.

  But the truth was, Matty had truly been starting to believe that no one else’s opinion mattered. Reghan, Lola, and Finley all loved him, and that had felt like enough.

  Especially if it was possible that Cas might be starting to love him, as well.

  “I feel like I’ve been cracked open for the whole world to see my flaws,” he said, his voice cracking as more tears leaked free.

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Matty,” said Cas with such a heaviness Matty had to look. He dropped his hands, spots dancing in front of his eyes. He sniffed and rubbed his face, trying to get a hold of himself as a couple of sobs broke loose from his chest. “It was selfish of me to put you in this position,” Cas said, a rueful smile tugging briefly at his lips. “But you’re so amazing, I just wanted a normal relationship for the first time in my life. I was afraid you’d see me differently once you knew everything.” He shook his head. “But that wasn’t fair. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to fix this.”

  Neither did Matty.

  “That woman just splashed my life all over the news,” he spluttered, fury and incredulity finally overshadowing his fear and heartbreak. “Like it was entertainment!”

  Cas nodded with a sad sign and rueful smile. “Yeah. That’s kind of her thing. No one can stop her – believe me. You just…get used to it.” He shook his head. “Not that you should have to. I meant me. My family.”

  Matty blinked, shame mingling sharply in with the anger. For the first time since his awful shock this morning, he began to truly appreciate the situation from Cas’s point of view. He’d been born into the public eye. He hadn’t chosen to be a prince, and yet he had leeches like von Tarr determined to delve into the depths of his public life.

  What Cas had chosen was to escape from that invasive life for a few precious days.

  With Matty.

  He shook his head and hugged himself. “I don’t know what to think,” he whispered. “I want this to stop. I want to turn back the clock.”

  He wiped his eyes, willing himself to stop crying. He could just see Cas in his peripheral vision, watching him anxiously.

  “My plan was to take you back to the cabin,” Cas said gently, like he was scared any one of his words might spook Matty and make him flee. There was a strange comfort in that for Matty. Like Cas really cared about keeping Matty around. “It’s not an official royal residence, so no one should know about it. But it is mine, and it’s protected. My security detail can monitor us from nearby, and there’s a panic button should we need it. You’ll be safer with me, but…” He sounded so pained, Matty’s heart threatened to crack. “But if you’d rather never see me again, I’ll make arrangements to protect you to the best of my ability.”

  “No-” Matty spluttered before he could stop himself.

  That was all he wanted. For it to just be him and Cas again, with Cas making everything okay. For nothing to have changed. Maybe he was a fool not to be running a mile from the man who had just betrayed his trust and made him vulnerable to the vultures of the press. But…Matty wasn’t ready to let go of the perfect fantasy bubble he’d had with Cas just yet.

  He cleared his throat. “For how long? Would we have to stay at the cabin, I mean?”

  Cas’s face lit up with what looked like hope. “Just until the palace PR team can draft a statement for me, and we can work out the best plan to move forward with. Once you go back to America, I’m sure the attention will die down. They’ll have a new royal scandal by next week, knowing my brothers.” Cas laughed ruefully, but his expression toward Matty was deeply earnest. “So maybe a day or two, if that’s okay?”

  For a second, Matty thought it could go back to how it had been the past week, with just the two of them hiding away. Except this time, they’d be in the picturesque cabin instead of Cas’s apartment. But…it couldn’t be that easy, could it?

  “Okay,” he whispered with a tiny smile. Because, realistically, how could things get any worse right now? What did he have to lose by spending some more time with Cas before he got on a plane on Monday? “Are you sure we’ll be safe there?”

  “Oh, great!” Cas cried breathlessly. “Yes, yes, totally safe. I – thank you, Matty. Thank you for staying a little longer. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

  He seemed unsure what to do with his hands as he flapped them and fidgeted on the spot. And just like that, it was as if Matty was seeing him for the first time that day in the ridiculously hot suit he was wearing. He looked like a super model, and Matty’s smile got a little brighter even as hot tears pooled in his eyes.

  Matty really, really liked this stunning, slightly dorky, incredibly caring man. Yes, things had gotten unbelievably strange and complicated between them…but was there a chance that they were still just Cas and Matty? Was Cas still just the gorgeous guy who had rescued Matty from his troubles and shown him endless kindness and devotion? The same guy who couldn’t cook worth a damn, but attempted blueberry pancakes anyway and acted like everything Matty made was gourmet?

  “Maybe we can talk some more?” Matty suggested shyly, not sure if he was making a huge mistake. But apparently Vacation Matty was back at the helm, and he was throwing caution to the wind again.

  “Yes, absolutely,” said Cas with a sniff and a laugh. “Uh, let me just…”

  Matty hadn’t realized that Cas was still holding the tiny tracking bug until he dropped it on the pavement of the road and ground the heel of his shoe over it. He pressed the back of the phone on again, and held it out. It felt more like an olive branch than it did a cell phone.

  “I wouldn’t use this yet,” said Cas. “Not until we can have someone take a look at it, or get you a brand new one. Von Tarr could still be listening in. But she won’t be able to track you anymore.”

  “Okay,” said Matty cautiously. “And those people that saved us from the mob – your security team – they’ll be close by?” His heart was beating so fast, and his head was spinning with fragile and tentative hope, so he wasn’t careful as he took his phone from Cas’s hand. Their fingers brushed, and it was like a lightning strike across all of Matty’s skin.

  Apparently Matty’s body had no hesitations if it still wanted Cas or not.

  Cas gasped. Matty was too busy being shocked at his own reaction – specifically down below – to guess what he might be thinking. But he cleared his thro
at and brushed down his suit.

  “They will,” Cas assured him. “But you won’t know they’re there, I promise.”

  God, Matty wanted to believe any promises that Cas made him so badly. “Okay, then. And, um, Finley? The school has gates and good security, but that reporter wouldn’t go after her, would she?”

  Cas grimaced. “Elm Willows has excellent security, yes. But…I would just remind Finley not to speak to strangers the next time you talk to her. You can use my phone, if you like?”

  He offered it out for Matty to use right there and then, which Matty agreed was a good idea. Nothing was more important than his niece’s safety. The call went to voicemail, so Matty left a short but upbeat message for her saying that he was okay, but if anyone approached her she didn’t know, she should go straight to her teachers. He tried not to worry her, but she was a smart kid and would no doubt have questions, so Matty said she could call back on this number.

  Then he also left Reghan a voicemail, as she’d been increasingly suspicious since Matty had closed their call abruptly. No doubt she was sleeping again, as it was still early morning in New York and she was bound to be exhausted from her treatment and the fright Matty had given her. But he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to blurt it all out until he knew where he and Cas stood.

  “Sorry for cutting the call short earlier,” he said into the phone, away from Cas and out of his earshot. “I’ll explain more later – it’s complicated. But…” He took a deep breath. “I’m working very hard on not getting my heart broken.”

  He hoped that was the truth.

  “What do we do now?” Matty asked after he’d walked back to the car, handing back the cell.

  Cas offered him a small smile. “Why don’t you sit in the car?” he suggested gently. “I need to call my valet. She’ll make sure someone delivers supplies for us. Is there any food you’d like in particular?”

  Matty shook his head. The thought of eating right now made his stomach churn. Cas looked took a breath and nodded in understanding as Matty turned and went back to his side of the car.

  He could hear the murmur of Cas’s voice as he waited in the car, but none of the specific words. Matty’s feelings toward Cas were still complicated, but the were pretty simple about von Tarr. What a despicable person, to use him like that for a scandal just to sell papers.

  How far would this news story go?

  How much would the press dig into his and his family’s lives? They seemed convinced that he was a gold digger seducing Cas for his fortune. They couldn’t have been more wrong, but that didn’t seem to matter to them. Would Matty lose his jobs over this? How would he get new employment when any internet search would now throw up this scandal? How long was he going to have a black mark against his name? Months? Years?

  Forever?

  Matty bit his thumbnail and tried not to let his panic spiral. Cas got back in the car, and even just the waft of his familiar scent made Matty’s heart clench and his throat clamp.

  There was no denying he still felt very deeply for Cas, despite everything.

  They were both silent for the rest of the drive back up to the impossibly beautiful log cabin where they’d almost shared their first kiss. That felt like a lifetime ago now. Matty looked around with apprehension at the stunning pond with its waterfall and amazing view of Alpina. What was going to happen now?

  When he exited the car in front of the cabin, he turned back toward the woods in the other direction and was surprised to see ominous gray clouds in the distance. Perhaps a summer storm was on its way. That seemed more appropriate to his mood than the glorious sunshine.

  He followed Cas as he walked up to the front door and let them inside. It smelled a little musty, but nothing a few minutes with the windows open wouldn’t fix. As Matty had suspected before, it was just an open plan, one-room space. There was a sofa and a bed and a few kitchen appliances along one wall, and not much else. With a jolt, he worried he didn’t have his phone charger, but he couldn’t use it anyway, so it didn’t really matter if it ran out.

  It seemed like it was just him and Cas in the whole world, which was how it had kind of been in the apartment. Matty was almost scared of recapturing that feeling, unsure if he could trust it again.

  He distracted himself by looking around. There was a quaintness to the cabin. A knitted blanket was draped over the bed, and roses were carved into the wall beams. In front of the sofa was a stone fireplace with an ancient-looking clock ticking quietly on the mantlepiece. Rugs stretched across the floor, a stuffed bookcase stood against the wall opposite the kitchen area, and there were well-used pillar candles everywhere too. When Matty breathed in deeply, the whole place smelled like warm wood.

  He wished he wasn’t here under such confusing circumstances. Otherwise, it might be extremely romantic.

  As it was, he and Cas looked awkwardly at each other. Matty wasn’t sure what to do now they were here, and it seemed like Cas felt the same. Where before they’d had such easy conversation and incredible chemistry between them, now it just felt like they were both holding their breath.

  “Um, is it okay if I go for a walk?” Matty blurted out. He had so many turbulent thoughts, some alone time would be really appreciated. “Is that allowed?”

  Cas looked appalled. “Of course that’s allowed, sweethe-” He grimaced, cutting off the endearment midway. They were back to awkwardly holding their breath. “Of course, Matty. You’re not a prisoner here. Just, maybe stay close to the cabin. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  There was a loaded pause between them, the weight of what that might mean. Cas would be here when Matty returned…and then what? They knew each other so intimately now. Their bodies might need one thing, but their hearts and minds another. Matty didn’t know what the hell he wanted.

  Best to go clear his head and put some space between them, before he did something he’d regret. Like run across the small cabin, leap into Cas’s arms, and kiss him like the world was ending.

  Because it wasn’t. He’d get through this. Yes, it was horrifying to think his privacy was being invaded and the man he’d been developing feelings for hadn’t been who he thought he was. But all that really mattered was Matty’s sister’s health and his niece’s safety. Right? His heart would mend.

  That was what he kept telling himself as he stepped outside, thunder rumbling ominously overhead as he walked toward the forest. If he kept insisting to himself that he’d survive this heartbreak, then perhaps his heart might finally start listening.

  Because as far as it was concerned, losing Cas really was the end of the world.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Cas

  Cas awoke with a start to the sound of pouring rain. He blinked for a second, completely confused as to where he was. Then his memories came flooding back and dread filled his heart.

  Matty.

  Cas had obviously fallen asleep on the sofa. He sat up, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders. The cabin was dark, and outside, a thunderstorm was raging. Checking the clock on the mantle, Cas saw it was late afternoon. The last thing he remembered was meeting Valentina outside in the driveway with the bags of supplies she’d procured for them. Then he’d sat on the couch, anxiously waiting for Matty’s return and going over and over what he was going to say once he eventually came back.

  “Matty?” he called out as he stood up, but he already knew the answer to his question.

  Matty wasn’t there.

  Fear lanced through him as he lurched for the front door. He’d fallen asleep in his fancy suit with his shoes still on, so he didn’t hesitate as he wrenched open the door and stepped out onto the covered porch. “Matty!” he bellowed over the torrential rain. It might have been a summer storm, but there was a nasty chill in the wind that blew water against Cas’s face. Was Matty out in this?

  Cas’s car was still standing in the drive, so at least Matty hadn’t taken it and driven off somewhere. But where was he?

  Cas gr
itted his teeth, trepidation flooding him. He’d spent all morning frantically searching for Matty. He wasn’t sure he could go through that again.

  He should try calling him before jumping to conclusions, so that was what he did. But just like that morning, the call rang out. Cas realized with a thrill of hope, though, that he had a very important advantage now.

  He called Valentina.

  “Hey,” he said without preamble once she picked up. “Does the security detail have eyes on Matty?”

  Valentina hummed in displeasure. “Yes, they have eyes on him. We were getting concerned, and I was debating contacting you soon. Did he wander off to go find himself for a bit?”

  “I don’t know,” said Cas truthfully.

  Valentina sighed. “Do you want his coordinates, or would you like the team to pick him up?”

  “No,” Cas said immediately. “I’ll go get him. Just tell me where he is.”

  Cas had been using this little cabin as his hideaway for even longer than his apartment in the city. He knew the woods like the back of his hand, and had never lost the orienteering skills he’d learned as a child. When Valentina told him where they’d last seen Matty, Cas knew exactly the spot she meant.

  He thanked her, then hung up. He didn’t bother getting changed into the more appropriate clothing that she’d sent over. That would waste precious minutes. Instead he just grabbed an umbrella from the stand and closed the front door. The cabin only had a basic lock, but Cas used it anyway, just in case. Then he plowed into the rain.

  Knowing it would take about twenty minutes to reach Matty, Cas tried calling him again a couple of times, but to no avail. Cas prayed Matty hadn’t moved from where the team reckoned he was. Was he hurt? Was he stranded in the middle of the forest with a twisted ankle or something?

  He sped up, his dress shoes slipping on the muddy ground. Rain streamed off his umbrella in rivulets, the wind trying to tug it from his hands, and thunder rumbled overhead. Once or twice lightning forked across the sky, but thankfully, the storm looked to be moving away as evening drew in.