Everlonging Desires

by Daniel Elijah Sanderfer

  He didn’t want to get caught, but he could not help himself. He closed his eyes and listened to the sad song Skyler sang, and his heart was breaking inside.

  “Maybe I didn't love you

  Quite as often as I could have

  Maybe I didn't treat you

  Quite as good as I should have

  If I made you feel second best

  Boy, I’m sorry I was blind…”

  His voice trailed off to a hum as he finished up his shower. Skyler was not just a beautiful face but had the voice of a sweet country angel.

  Dustin snapped to attention as he suddenly heard the water turn off, and the doors to the shower slide open. Skyler’s beautiful body emerging from the erotic steam, and little beads of water sliding sensually down the trails of his abs to his package.

  Dustin ran back down the hall and dove onto the couch, covering his body and pretending to be asleep. It wasn’t long before Skyler sauntered up the hallway, the steam following him like a fog rising through the mountain ridge at dawn. He walked over to the sofa and leaned down to Dustin’s ear; He whispered, his voice deep and soothing. “Good morning kiddo rise and shine.”

  To Dustin’s surprise, the man kissed his cheek softly, the feel of Skyler’s soft lips on his skin, awakening his senses and left him wanting more. Skyler lifted slowly and smiled at the messy haired kid on the couch. It goes without saying Skyler really liked having another person there even if it was just for one night; it was so lonely at times he didn’t think he could endure it any longer.

  When all the tears he could cry had fallen, and the silence was deafening. There were moments where he wanted to throw away his inhibitions and pick up some trick so that he could feel the touch of another person’s body. But to him, that wasn’t a chance worth taking.

  He didn’t want the drama from somebody thinking a one-night stand was more than that. A few moments later, as he was in the kitchen making coffee, Dustin rose from the couch. He tried to put on his best I just woke up face. Skyler took a sip of coffee and smiled at him. “Well, Good Morning.”

  Dustin was so busy with making his performance believable the man’s deep voice startled him. Skyler sat his coffee down on the counter and laughed an amused chuckle, “I’m sorry little dude, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  Dustin held his cheek where Skyler had kissed him and blushed. “Oh no, it’s okay; you didn’t scare me too bad.”

  Skyler continued, “If you want a shower little guy, the bathroom is down that hall.”

  Dustin had already figured that out, but he didn’t want Skyler to know that. He pointed coyly in that direction and smiled inquisitively, “Down there?”

  Skyler lifted his coffee cup; gesturing down the hallway, “Yes, sir, last door on the left.”

  Dustin thanked him and continued that direction. He closed the door behind him and noticed the boxers Skyler had worn to bed last night hanging on the bathroom door. Dustin wasn’t at all a kinky boy, but with the show he had witnessed this morning, he couldn’t silence the sudden temptation he was feeling to be close to Skyler.

  He slowly removed them from the peg on the back of the door and brought them to his face. He held the front of them to his nose and inhaled the sweet aroma of the man he so desperately desired.

  Dustin’s eyes rolled back from pleasure; his head felt dizzy and light like he had just snorted cocaine. They smelled of Skyler’s woodsy cologne and musky body. He unbuttoned his jeans and slipped his hand down the front of them; gripping his hard dick and pleasuring himself. He thought, Shit, how sick can I be that I’m getting off from some guys shorts?

  Before he knew it, between huffing Skyler’s sweet aroma and images of the man’s naked body flashing through his mind's eye, he released himself into the boxers he had been huffing. Dustin felt guilty as he zipped himself up and tried to remember how they were hanging on the back of the door. He was terrified that if Skyler found out, he would be repulsed by him. But, it was something he just had to do since he wasn’t sure he would have the opportunity ever again.

  Besides he was a guest in the man’s house and if he wanted to come back, he needed to make sure everything went perfectly. He quickly rinsed his face with water and tried to push his hair into place with his fingers. He needed to get back home somehow and change. He emerged from the bathroom and made his way back down the hall to the living room, folded the blanket he had used and set it neatly on the nearby ottoman as he waited for Skyler.

  Skyler emerged from his bedroom in a tight union suit with his last name patched on the front breast pocket. Dustin was stealing glances at the man's muscular butt as Skyler turned off the lights in the hallway, grabbed his signature cowboy hat from the coat rack and turned to Dustin with a smile. “Let’s go check out that car kiddo and see what’s ailing it.”

  Dustin hopped up from the couch and followed the man out the front door. He stood on the edge of the covered porch taking in the warm air as Skyler locked up the cabin behind him.

  As he stood there observing the surroundings in the daylight, his nose was filled with the sweet essence of roses. He hadn’t even noticed them last night when he knocked on the door. They were an incredible array of colors and fullness. He commented as they walked down the steps, “Wow, these flowers are beautiful. I love roses too.”

  Dustin leaned in to sniff one right by the front walkway, and Skyler took the opportunity to steal glances at the boy's butt. For a brief moment, Skyler wanted to burst into tears. It was like God had sent Jimmy back to him reincarnated as this sweet little bartender. It was no coincidence to him that Dustin liked flowers too. The man stiffened his upper lip; trying to keep his emotions in check, and tousled the boy’s hair, “We got plenty of time to smell the flowers later, we got to get that car of yours running.”

  Dustin and Skyler continued conversing as they headed down the steep road to his car. “You know I have a garden at my little trailer; I grow veggies and herbs and flowers. The landlord doesn’t like me digging up her land though.” Dustin frowned.

  Skyler was lost as he listened to the boy rattle on about his little garden the same way Jimmy used to tell everyone he saw about the roses. Before he could get emotional, Dustin pointed out his car sitting on the side of the road. It was a little Geo Metro from the early ’90s. Skyler shook his head with an amused smile, “You tried to drive a Geo up this mountain?”

  Dustin quipped, “I don’t know anything about cars, other than when I get in and want to go somewhere I go!”

  Skyler popped the hood and looked inside inquisitively as Dustin watched nervously biting his nails. Skyler was distracted by the sound. He yelled from under the hood, “Stop biting your nails, Jimbo!”

  He froze in place. Jimmy had been heavy on his mind this morning. Dustin’s little quirks were just reminding him so much of the boy he loved.

  Dustin paused and mumbled with a finger in his mouth, “Huh?”

  Skyler corrected himself, hoping the boy had not heard him say, Jimbo. He had not talked to anyone about Jimmy since the boy passed away over a decade ago. It just hurt too much. Unfortunately, Fate was not on his side today. Sure enough, after a brief moment, Dustin asked casually, “Who’s Jimbo?”

  Skyler felt chills rush up his spine; he squeezed his eyes tightly closed. The name verbalized by another person felt like a knife plunging into his chest. No one had said his name in years. Skyler wouldn’t let anyone talk about him. He closed the hood of the car and attempted to change the subject, “Well, it looks like it’s just a belt burnt in two. I have one in the garage that might fix it.”

  Dustin clapped his hands excitedly and threw his arms around the man with gratitude. It had been a long time since Skyler had felt a warm, slender body up against his, and it was such a nice feeling.

  At this point, he was feeling so vulnerable it was everything he could do to keep from laying Dustin down on the hood of that car and making sweet love to him as if it were the end of time. But, he suppressed his urges;
gently lowering his head onto the boy’s shoulder, and with a graveled sigh; he whispered, “You’re welcome kid.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  It must have been close to a hundred degrees as they made their way back up the hill towards the cabin. Once they reached the edge of the driveway, Skyler leaned up against the mailbox panting; desperately trying to catch his breath. Dustin was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands.

  Skyler sighed and shook his head, “I don’t know how on earth Jimmy jogged that hill every day.”

  Dustin glanced at the man, an expression of disbelief highlighting his face. “I don’t know how anyone could jog that hill once, much less every day; By the way, Who’s Jimmy?”

  Skyler had hoped his earlier attempt to divert the conversation would have worked. He turned his face where the boy could not see his tears and with an abrupt turn, made his way to the garage behind the cabin.

  Dustin was worried now; he didn’t mean say anything to upset Skyler. He ran up behind the man; placing his hand on Skyler’s shoulder. Skyler was leaning against the fence outlining the pasture. Dustin spoke cautiously as he stroked the man’s back reassuringly, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

  Skyler turned to the boy, with his tear-filled eyes. Dustin’s heart ached for him. He moaned with despair as a wave of fresh tears erupted; he wanted to tell Dustin he was fine. Skyler didn’t want the boy thinking that he had done something wrong. But instead of words all he could do was make barely audible shudders from deep within his body.

  In his mind, flashing visions of Jimmy’s beautiful face were playing out like an old movie; he turned to Dustin and collapsed in the boy’s arms. “I just miss him so much.”

  He composed himself for a moment and led them to a little bench that overlooked the pasture.

  Skyler took a deep breath as he tried to hold back more tears; his tone was somber and his eyes stared off into the distance. “Jimmy was my fiancé. He was killed by a drunk driver while jogging home one night. I saw the whole thing from the front porch of the cabin as his body flew into the air and crashed down onto the road.”

  Dustin’s eyes filled with tears and he covered his mouth with his hand. He could never have imagined this was the secret Skyler was holding behind those sad hound dog eyes. He whispered, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  Skyler continued through the storm of tears coming from his eyes “I ran to try and save him,” He paused, squeezing his eyes tightly closed to try and erase the image of Jimmy’s beautiful face his body laying mangled and broken on the cold hard asphalt. Skyler whined “I was too late; I couldn’t save him.”

  He lowered his head onto Dustin’s chest; he had cried all the tears he could. He moaned “You just look so much like him.”

  Dustin held the man’s head tightly to his body trying to somehow ease the pain the man was feeling. He understood now why Skyler was the way he was.

  Once Skyler had calmed down a little he lifted his head and stared into Dustin’s eyes; they were filled with love and compassion as Dustin spoke softly to him. “I know you miss him, but no one can ever take away the memories you made together.”

  He took Skyler’s hand and guided it to his chest. “Jimmy will always be with you, right here in your heart.”

  The man’s lips quivered into a smile and Skyler placed his hands on each side of Dustin’s face; pressing his lips tightly to Dustin’s. Dustin gasped from the sudden surprise kiss. They could feel the hot summer wind blow across their bodies. The sun was shining brightly down on them; Skyler pulled away suddenly and turned away from the boy.He mumbled “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  Dustin was still leaning into him with a dazed expression on his face. He reached out placing his hand on Skyler’s arm, and Skyler turned back to face him. Dustin whispered, “I know I can never be Jimmy, but I would like the chance to be a part of your life.”

  Inside his mind, Skyler’s thoughts were racing; he knew that he shouldn’t have kissed Dustin, but it had been so long since he had tasted another man’s lips and Dustin’s kind words were everything he had needed to hear since Jimmy’s passing. Skyler leaned his forehead against Dustin’s, “I cannot bear to lose anyone else ever again; My heart is so fragile.”

  Dustin closed his eyes and whispered, “We can take as long as you need.” I just, He paused for a moment. “I have loved you since the first day I saw you two years ago in the bar.”

  Skyler opened his eyes to investigate Dustin’s. “Did you say you love me?”

  Dustin closed his eyes again and turned away. He could not believe he let those words come spewing out of him like a geyser. Skyler’s heart was beating out of his chest as he placed his hand under the boy’s chin and pointed his face toward his. Dustin opened his eyes and Skyler whispered, “Please be gentle with my heart.”

  Dustin wrapped his arms slowly around Skyler as the man eased him back onto the bench overlooking the pasture. Their lips pressed firmly against one another’s, their hands desperately searching to explore one another’s bodies and Dustin’s body surrendered to his; gently arching to close out the wayward rays of sun that were separating them.

  His mouth slightly opened to receive the gift Skyler was about to give him. Skyler paused for a moment and slid his soft, warm tongue into the boy’s mouth; Dustin’s eyes rolled back with pleasure as he felt the man taste him for the first time.

  He could feel Skyler’s firm cock pressed into his body like a spear. As they rolled off the bench onto the tall soft grass surrounding the serene pasture, they insatiably pushed their wanton bodies into one another. Skyler whispered, “Fuck kid, it has been over a decade since I felt this way for anyone. You don’t know how bad I have wanted to taste you.”

  The words were like a beautiful song in Dustin’s ears. As they laid there in the sunshine, Skyler ran his hands over the boy’s body. He could feel every little muscle the boy had flex in anticipation that Skyler would go one step further and ease the burning desire he had been holding deep inside since they met over two years ago.

  But instead, Skyler rested his head on Dustin’s chest and mumbled, “It feels so good to be close to another human being again.”

  Their moment was interrupted when Skyler shot up from the ground, “Shit, kid, I’m late for work.”

  Dustin jumped up too, trying to collect his thoughts and let his raging boner subside; he could hear something creeping up behind him. Skyler wasn’t paying any attention. He was trying to brush the hay and grass off his work jumpsuit.

  Then Suddenly, Dustin felt something warm and slimy caress the back of his neck. He shrieked in terror and jumped up into Skyler’s arms, frantically looking around to see what it was. Skyler erupted into laughter and Dustin shot him a look of offense, “What’s so funny?”

  Skyler sat the boy down gently and exclaimed, “That’s just Hilda!”

  Dustin turned to observe a tall beautiful horse. She was chocolate brown with white spots all over. He shuddered as he tried to wipe the horse slobber off his neck with the bandana he kept in his back pocket.

  Skyler walked over to the jolly looking horse with a big handful of hay. She craned her neck as the man rubbed her mane and spoke baby talk to her. “Who's Daddy’s big girl, huh?”

  The horse curled her lips and basked in the attention he was giving her. Dustin walked over slowly observing the towering creature. He had never seen a horse in real life. Skyler took the boy’s hand and guided it to her mane. Dustin trembled as he got closer to her; he whispered to himself trying to calm down, halfway amused that he had just been licked by a horse. “It was just a horse,” then he addressed the horse, “Hi there Hilda.”

  The horse neighed with delight at the touch of the boy’s soft tiny hands. Dustin shrieked in terror and ran away, collapsing to the ground and covering his head with his hands. Skyler was doubled over in pain from laughter. Hilda stood with an offended glare at the sudden stop in affection.

  Skyler patted h
er neck and made a clicking noise with his tongue, sending Hilda galloping away content with her snack, and the minimal amount of attention she had received before Dustin shrieked at her.

  Then Skyler walked over to the boy shaking his head with a smile on his face noticing Dustin was peeking out from under his fingers at him. He chuckled as Dustin slowly uncovered his face and mumbled, “Is she gone?”

  Skyler chuckled as he offered Dustin a hand to help the boy get up, “Jimmy was afraid of her too.” His tone lowered, “She loved picking on him.” He tried to hold back another wave of tears. “She was so happy; she just thought you were him.”

  Dustin smiled and held the man’s hand for a moment as he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. Dustin whispered, “I hate to interrupt but, what about work, I’m so sorry I made you late?”

  Skyler tousled the boy’s hair, “It’s okay kiddo, they will be fine without me for just one day; I will call later and tell them I had a farm emergency.” He continued, “I think we will make today a fun day, what do you say to some breakfast?”