Everlonging Desires

by Daniel Elijah Sanderfer

  Dustin’s stomach growled at the suggestion; he had not eaten since last night at the bar. Skyler smiled and answered for him, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  They both headed back into the cabin from the back door. Skyler grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and tossed it his way and Dustin took a seat at the island separating the living room and kitchen.

  After he chugged half the bottle, he spoke to Skyler who was pulling bacon and eggs from the fridge and searching for a pan. “So, do I really look that much like Jimmy?”

  Skyler was feeling better now that he had finally spoken to someone about Jimmy. He walked into the living room and over to the entryway table where a tiny frame adorned with cowboy boots at the bottom and lasso’s around the perimeter was sitting. The man kissed the picture; running his fingers affectionately over the boy’s face as if he could feel the smoothness of Jimmy’s skin on his fingertips and whispered, “Hey, Jimbo.”

  He walked over to Dustin and held out the faded picture. Dustin’s mouth falling open from shock. The young guy in the picture could have been his twin. He whispered, “He looks just like me.”

  Skyler ran his finger down Dustin’s cheek and sighed, “Tell me about it kiddo. I will never forget the first day I saw you; I thought God was playing a trick on me. I had not spoken to anyone in days,” his voice cracked with emotion as he continued, “You made me feel human again. Like I was the only person in the bar.”

  Dustin bowed his head remembering all the times he almost quit that place, because the customers were so rowdy, and treated him so badly. Dustin sighed, “You don’t know how many times I quit that crummy place.” Skyler’s expression turned sad for a moment.

  Dustin continued, meeting Skyler’s sad eyes with his, “You made it worthwhile to stay. I waited all day just to see you walk through that door,” He swallowed hard and hesitated before continuing, “You are like my sunshine on a cloudy day, My Blue Sky.” He whispered, “My Sky.”

  Skyler’s heart jumped. The boy’s sweet words struck him like a lightning bolt. Skyler replied with barely a whisper as he set the picture down, and turned it over on the counter, “I can be your Sky if you want me to.”

  Dustin felt his body being pulled in closer; their faces getting ever closer together and he whispered, “Kiss me Sky.”

  Placing his hands on the sides of Dustin’s face, Skyler cocked his head and pressed his lips tightly against the boy’s. Dustin melted in the man’s strong arms like ice cream on a hot day. The man’s touch was like electricity on the surface of his skin. The feeling of his fingers pressing into his flesh more addicting than a drug. They separated again, breathing heavy and hard, staring deep into one another’s eyes. They were full of forlorn desire and It was becoming ever harder for them to keep from making love. Skyler bit his lip. He was normally a level-headed guy, in control of his emotions. But, Dustin made him weak.

  Skyler groaned, “I don’t know what’s happening to me, I shouldn’t feel this way about someone I barely know from a bar.”

  Dustin replied, “You’re tired of being lonely. Why torture yourself like this when I can help ease your pain?”

  Skyler whimpered, “But I feel so guilty; I feel like I would be cheating on him.”

  Dustin sighed slightly frustrated with the man’s continued delays, “You can’t cheat on someone that isn’t here anymore. He would want you to be happy; living your life the best way you can is what would make him happy!”

  Skyler sniffled, “I guess I haven’t been living my life the way Jimmy would have wanted.”

  Dustin took the man’s hand and smiled. “I’m here for you. I promise Jimmy that I will take good care of you for him. He’s gone Sky, but we will never forget him.”

  Skyler grabbed the picture and held it close to him. With that, Dustin threw his arms around the man, and Skyler buried his head into the boy’s chest.

  He whispered, “I have to let you go Jimbo. I have met someone new who is going to take care of me for you. I’m so sorry, but I’m so tired of being alone.”

  Dustin slowly pulled the picture from Skyler’s hands and slid it onto the entryway table replacing the picture with his own body. Skyler exhaled and squeezed Dustin tighter. “I need you, kiddo.”

  A lone tear slid down Dustin’s cheek; he closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m here for you, Skyler.”

  After a few moments, Skyler whispered, “Dustin, will you be my boy?”

  Dustin pulled away; his mind was racing. He could not hold back his emotions any longer. He searched Skyler’s eyes for a moment, trying to figure out if the man was serious, or whether his vulnerable state had clouded Skyler’s emotions.

  Skyler ran his finger up Dustin’s cheek tracing the outline of his beautifully proportionate face and jawline. “I’m getting too old to be lonely; I’m not going to promise you that everything will always be this easy. But I do know that when I am near you I am happy. I’m not rich, but I do well enough to take good care of you, Dustin.”

  Dustin jumped up into the man's arms and Skyler leaned back holding him up off the floor. “Oh my God Skyler, yes, of course, I will be your boy!”

  Skyler sighed in relief and replied with a chipper tone, “All right then, it’s a deal.”

  Dustin pressed his little nose up against Skyler’s and they rubbed them together tenderly. Skyler perked his big full lips outward to meet Dustin’s in a sweet kiss to seal the deal and chuckled, “Now, how about that breakfast. We have a lot to figure out kiddo.”

  He looked clever for a moment like he was pondering things. “We have known each other for two years so, what do you say we discuss our plans and dreams for this relationship while we eat? I’m starving”

  Dustin shook his head with a big smile. He could not believe what had happened to them today. He knew in his heart it would take a long time for Skyler to heal. But ten years was a major head start on that process.

  He took a seat at the island as Skyler cooked. They chatted the whole time about silly, mundane things they had never known about each other. Favorite color, favorite foods, anything they could get to know quickly about one another. By the time they had eaten breakfast there was still something Skyler wanted to ask him, but he waited.

  They spent the day together lounging about the cabin, watching tv and being close to each other; paying no attention to time. Dustin had even forgotten to let his mama know he wasn’t coming home tonight, or why he had not returned last night.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next morning the boys sat outside on the front porch enjoying the beautiful day; basking in each other’s company. Skyler was sitting next to Dustin on the porch swing. The silence between them was awkward prompting Dustin to ask him, “Is there something wrong Sky?”

  “Huh?” he grunted.

  He was still distracted from the question burning in his mind; he wanted to ask Dustin. Dustin was beginning to get worried so he asked again, his tone a little more contrite this time, “I said, Is there something wrong?”

  Skyler glanced over at him and hesitated, “I just enjoy spending time with you buddy. Sitting here with you reminds me that when you go home, I will still be alone up here.”

  Dustin turned to face him and placed his hand in Skyler’s. “What can I do to fix it?”

  Skyler stared at his face in silence for a long time contemplating the best way to respond to the boy’s question without totally freaking him out. The only sound was the wind whispering through the pine trees overshadowing the cabin. “Move in with me;” he blurted it out before Dustin could even ask him what was wrong again.

  Dustin sat with a glazed look on his face as Skyler stared at him with anticipation. He finally scratched his head and glanced at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “But where would I stay, I mean I didn’t think you were ready to take such a big step with us just getting to know each other?”

  Skyler interrupted. “Look, I have been alone for a long time now, and I can’t take it anymore. Now
that we are boyfriends, I want to have you as close to me as possible. Besides, what better way to learn more about one another than living together?”

  Dustin was overcome with emotion: Joy, worry, excitement, but he could not find the words to answer the man’s question.

  Skyler continued. “Jimmy’s room is empty; I never touched it after he passed away.”

  Dustin was sad for him. “Didn’t he have a family that wanted his things?”

  Skyler looked away and sniffled. “Jimbo didn’t have any family. His mother was a prostitute and his father was a drunk. She put him up for adoption as a baby. He never had any desire to find them. A lady I worked with was taking care of him until he turned seventeen. I took him in as a farm hand and paid him for the help around the cabin.”

  Dustin grinned, “A farmhand huh?”

  Skyler shrugged and smiled warmly, “We became close and fell in love, once we were engaged he started sleeping with me and didn’t need his room anymore. He had a bedroom down the hall where the bathroom is. I couldn’t bear to go in it after he died.”

  Dustin couldn’t believe the kid had such a hard life. It made his minor problems seem trivial. He was still close to his family. Way too close to be honest. His mother Trisha was so overbearing he could hardly stand it; he wondered what she would think of Skyler.

  He suddenly remembered he had not been back home all night and had no idea what time it was. “Oh, crap, Sky what time is it?”

  The man looked at his pocket watch and muttered. “Part near past two.”

  Dustin panicked. He knew his mother had probably already been by the trailer to check on him. She lived in the same park he did and was constantly popping in to gossip and make sure he was okay. Dustin whined, “Sky I’m in so much trouble.”

  He jumped up from the porch swing, and Skyler stood up to grab his shoulders. “Calm down babe, What’s wrong?”

  Dustin shouted, “I haven’t been back to the trailer since the day before yesterday. My mama is going to send out a search party.”

  Skyler pulled the toothpick from his mouth and flicked it across the porch. “Well, I will drive you by your place, let’s go buck a roo!”

  Dustin let out a sigh of relief. He was still as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room of rocking chairs. But at least if he made an appearance, he could come back to the cabin and get cleaned up before work tonight.

  Skyler went inside the cabin and grabbed his keys off the entryway table. “Let’s take the pickup.”

  Dustin asked, “What about my broke down car?”

  Skyler replied, “It’ll be fine. Don’t nobody ever come up here; I own all this land.”

  Dustin paused as he was getting in the truck. “All of it?”

  Skyler started the truck and turned to wink at the boy, “Yep, it’s all mine.”

  Dustin eased himself slowly into the passenger seat of the big truck and grinned like a kid who had just been given one hundred dollars to spend on whatever he wanted.”

  After a few moments, Dustin chuckled, “Wow, I see why you needed a farm hand!”

  Skyler added, “You got that right buddy!”

  They passed his broken down car as they came down the mountain and Dustin stuck his tongue out at it, “I hope bears destroy it!”

  Skyler laughed, “These bears are picky. They’d rather be messing with my chickens and goats!”

  Dustin swiveled his head, “You mean to tell me that you have more animals!”

  Skyler smiled and patted the boy's leg, “I sure do, I’ll introduce you later.”

  Dustin wasn’t sure he wanted to meet them. He didn’t do well with animals. Creatures with distinctive personalities could always sense he was uneasy around them and used it against him. His mind went back to Hilda, and the feeling of her slimy wet tongue sliding across his neck. He shivered at the thought, prompting Skyler to ask if he was cold.

  Dustin shook his head, “No, I was just thinking of your horse licking my neck yesterday.”

  Skyler laughed. “Well in her defense, you do look delicious.”

  Dustin pursed his lips together. He wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. Skyler interrupted. “Where am I going here?”

  Dustin pointed down the curvy road. “Down there about five miles on the right. Sunnyside mobile home park.”

  Skyler nodded, “Boy, you do live way out here!”

  Dustin sighed, “Tell me about it.”

  Skyler was quiet for a moment and then turned into the dusty road entering the trailer park. As he parked, he turned to Dustin, “By the way, you never answered my question.”

  Dustin was trying to remember what the man had asked him at that point. His eyes lit up as he realized what Skyler had said. Before he could answer the man, an angry looking woman with a big country diva style hair came running up the road to the truck.

  Skyler rolled down the window and placed his arm across Dustin’s body preventing him from getting out. Dustin whispered in a worried tone, “That’s my mama!” Skyler looked over at the boy with an inquisitive glare.

  The woman shouted. “Hey, Tex, where is my boy, and furthermore who the hell are you?”

  Skyler tipped his hat to her, and she crossed her arms unimpressed with his charms. “You best answer me, or I’m gonna kick someone’s ass up in here.”

  Skyler laughed at the short woman who was wearing a Moomoo dress with an old house phone in one hand. Dustin sunk down in the passenger’s seat. He spoke to Skyler in a hushed tone, “Don’t provoke her; she’s like a chihuahua; she’ll tear you up.”

  Skyler raised an eyebrow and then turned to address the worried looking woman’s concerns. “Dustin is fine Ma’am; his car broke down and I stopped to help him.”

  She uncrossed her arms and Skyler let the boy get out. The woman ran over to the passenger’s side hysterically shoving Dustin’s face into her chest. “My baby, my baby boy, I was so worried about you. I was getting ready to call your Aunt Gretchen and have her go looking for you.”

  Dustin fought his way from her grip, “I’m okay mama, a belt snapped on the geo, and Mr. Skyler lives near the bar where my car broke down. I spent the past couple of nights with him.”

  The woman arched her eyebrows and craned her neck around him to get a better look at Skyler who was watching the commotion cautiously. “Well thank you, Mr. Skyler, for bringing my boy back.”

  Dustin kept trying to interrupt the woman who had continued babbling about how much she loved her baby and was worried sick. “Mama!” Dustin shouted.

  She scowled, “What baby? I’m trying to talk to the nice man!”

  Dustin sighed, “Mama, Skyler is my boyfriend.”

  The woman blushed and popped a fan from her Moomoo pocket. “Now, now you didn’t tell me about a boyfriend. Do I hear wedding bells in the near future?”

  Dustin cried, “Mother!”

  Skyler leaned out the side of the truck and offered his hand for her to shake.

  She took his hand coyly and smiled, “Charmed I’m sure, you ain’t missing no meals are you stud?”

  Skyler laughed, “I do well for myself.”

  Dustin was beet red and muttering, “Oh my God!”

  He leaned back in, pulled the door handle and hopped out the driver’s side of the truck. He walked over and put his arm around Dustin to try and soothe the boy's embarrassment.

  Trisha had finally calmed down now. She felt like anyone driving a nice truck like his couldn’t do any harm. She turned to Dustin, “Now if we can just get your sister a man like this, I can die happy.”

  Dustin was infuriated, “Stop being dramatic Ma!”

  She frowned, “Well I can’t help it, I ran out of Xanax the other day, and your father wouldn’t buy me cigarettes.”

  She turned to Skyler. “You don’t happen to have a cigarette, do you?”

  Skyler shook his head with a smile, “Nope, I don’t smoke.”

  She smiled, “Oh, good boy! A vile habit it is. I just do it
to calm my nerves when I run out of my pills.”

  She turned her attention to Dustin who was unlocking the front door to his trailer. Skyler offered the woman his arm, “Shall We?”

  The woman cackled with delight and shouted Dustin’s way, “Baby, you got yourself a real keeper here; you need boots to deal with this man.”

  As they stepped into the small, dated home, Skyler could not help but feel sad that Dustin lived so humbly. The drab interior adorned with vintage and worn furnishings were not much to be desired.Skyler was a man’s man, but he appreciated nicer things and good craftsmanship.

  Dustin’s mother Tricia went over to the sink and washed a couple of dishes left over from a couple of days ago. Skyler glanced around the home and finally decided to take a seat in a worn leather chair in the corner. Dustin had gone to the back to the bedroom to change.