Broken Scars

by J. M. Walker

Lucas was losing the control he craved, and it was my fault. When he charged for me and pushed me back, all I could do was stare up at him.

  “What the hell do you want from me?” he demanded.

  “I want to take this one day at a time. We haven’t been together for that long and now you’re already talking about kids?” I knew he never mentioned kids because he wanted them with me. He was just testing me.

  “You know that’s…” He took a deep breath. “I’m losing my patience here, Lily. Either you want to continue this, or you don’t. Say the word and I’m either done or bringing you home with me.”

  God, I wanted that. I wanted to spend the night with him. So why the hell was I fighting this?

  “Tell me.” His deep growl washed over me. When I didn’t answer, he grabbed my hands and lifted me from the chair before throwing me on my bed.

  “Lucas.” I held up my hands, trying to ward him off.

  He grabbed them, spinning me onto my stomach and knelt between my legs. Holding my wrists behind my back, he leaned down to my ear. “Tell me what you want.”

  “You, Lucas. I only ever just wanted you.” This side of him shouldn’t have turned me on but it did. Him taking full control. Him restraining me. Him not letting me move even an inch. Him pushing into me.

  “You like this. Me holding your wrists and pinning you down.” He smacked his hand across my ass.

  I yelped. “Lucas.”

  He chuckled. “Tell me how you feel. Are you wanting this to end?”

  “No,” I finally confessed. “But working at your shop…”

  “What about it?” He slapped my ass again when I didn’t respond. “Lily.”

  “Working at your shop scares me because if you hurt me, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m scared that I’ll fall off the wagon.” A breath of relief washed over me. I had never expected those words to leave my lips.

  Lucas released me.

  I rolled over onto my back.

  He was staring straight ahead. “You think I’ll hurt you.”

  I sat beside him, cupping his face and turning it toward me. “I don’t think you will but if you do…I’m not strong enough for that.”

  “I have no intentions of hurting you. You also can’t live life like that, Lily. You’re telling me that you haven’t opened yourself up to anyone because you’re scared you’ll get hurt?”

  I shrugged, dropping my hand in my lap and looking away. “People always hurt each other.”

  “I won’t hurt you.” He kissed my forehead.

  “You can’t promise that,” I whispered.

  He pinched my chin, tilting my head back. “You need to trust me.”

  How he could be so trusting after what he had been through, was beyond me. His story, the things he had experienced as a child, should have destroyed him. And maybe it did. A part of him anyway. I found I wanted to help him find that piece of him he was missing.

  “Come home with me.” Lucas kissed the corner of my mouth.

  Instead of answering him, I wrapped my arms around him and just held on.

  Lily

  I WASN’T SURE WHY working with Lucas, freaked me out the way it had. It didn’t make sense. He was offering me a job. I should have been grateful but instead, I threw his offer back in his face and made him tell me more of his childhood.

  I sighed, staring out the window. A warm hand cupped mine. My heart stuttered. But I didn’t look at him.

  We drove back to Lucas’s place in silence. Our relationship was blooming into something more. Both of us would be stupid to deny it. Maybe that was why it freaked me out. And he couldn’t have kids. Or he had assumed he couldn’t. I wasn’t sure how he knew that or what had happened to him to make it impossible to bear children, but I didn’t ask. Did I even want to know?

  When we pulled into the alleyway between his shop and the building beside it, he cut the engine. “Look at me.”

  I met his gaze.

  “I’m not sure how you feel. Clearly, you feel something for me or else you wouldn’t be here, and you can’t say that this is just sex. Even though it’s the best fucking sex I’ve ever had, I know this is something more.” He lifted his hand when I opened my mouth to say something. “I’m not proposing to you, Lily. I want to date you. That’s it. I’d like to offer you the job as my partner. Not my employee. And before you turn me down again, think about it first.” He left the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

  I blew out a slow breath and slid from the vehicle, following him into his apartment.

  Lucas shut the door behind us and went to lock it when a hard knock sounded on the door a second later. He looked my way.

  I shrugged.

  He opened the door, revealing Killian. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

  “What do you want?” I demanded, ignoring Lucas.

  Killian frowned, pushing past Lucas. “What the hell happened to you?” He cupped my face, earning him a growl.

  My ribs no longer hurt but you could still see some of the bruises on my face even though they had faded drastically.

  “I fell.” I slapped his hand away. “What do—”

  “How the fuck do you know where I live?” Lucas demanded.

  “I’m a Fed, remember?” Killian searched my face. “I don’t believe for one fucking second that you fell.” He glanced at Lucas. “Did you fucking hit her?”

  Lucas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause I get off on beating women. It’s my thing you know.”

  I stepped between them and pointed to the door. “I have no idea why you’re here or how you got Lucas’s address when even I know that you need a good reason to get that information. So if you aren’t going to tell us what you want then, get out.”

  “Lily,” Killian said gently. “If he hit you—”

  “Get the fuck out and the next time you insult my boyfriend, I’ll show you what a true beating looks like.” I thrust my arm out again. “Get. Out. Now.” He was obviously here for a reason, but I didn’t give a shit what that reason was. I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted him gone.

  “I’ll be seeing you again, Lily.” Killian stomped away.

  I rushed to the door, slamming it shut and clicking all of the locks into place. “I don’t know your security—” I was suddenly picked up off of my feet. “Lucas,” I cried.

  He threw me over his shoulder and charged for his bedroom.

  “What are you doing?” I demanded when he tossed me on his bed.

  But instead of answering me, he pulled me to the edge and ripped open my jeans.

  I gasped, the button popping off the material and landing on the floor. My whole body turned hot. “Lucas?”

  He roughly pulled my jeans off of me and knelt, bringing me closer to the edge of the bed.

  “Lucas,” I breathed, staring down the length of my body.

  He gripped my knees, spreading me open and covering my core with his mouth.

  I cried out, my fingers latching on to his head. His hair had grown in some, but he still kept the sides buzzed. “God.”

  “No,” he said against my pussy. “Boyfriend. Say it.”

  My eyes widened. So that was what this was about? “Lucas.”

  “Say it,” he growled, sucking my clit between his lips and biting down.

  I yelped, trying to shove away from him.

  In a quick move, he flipped me onto my stomach and bent me over the edge of the bed. His mouth was back on me, his tongue thrusting inside of me. “Say it.”

  “Boyfriend,” I gasped, clutching the blankets. “You’re my boyfriend.”

  He snarled against my center. “Again.”

  “You’re my boyfriend,” I cried out, shaking through my unexpected release.

  He stood, towering over me and thrust all of his inches inside of me.

  I screamed.

  “Again. Say it.” He fisted my hair, pulled my head back, and sunk his teeth into my neck. “Say it.”

  “You’re my boyfriend.” Wit
h each thrust, he owned me. I realized then that he was staking his claim. I was his. I belonged to him and having Killian touch me the way he did, brought out this beast inside of him. “More. God, Lucas, give me more.”

  “You’re mine, Lily.” His mouth brushed over the shell of my ear.

  “Yes.” I shivered. “I’m yours.”

  ***

  (Lucas)

  I never had something that belonged to me. Until I purchased the building that my shop and apartment were in, I had nothing.

  I kissed Lily’s neck, inhaling the faint smell of sex. I had used her good and hard. After she told Killian that I was her boyfriend and kicking him out, I snapped. Even though we’d had a fight tonight, hearing her say those words, sparked this newfound awareness inside of me. Was this what I had been looking for all along? I wasn’t sure, but I was damn determined to find out.

  I kissed her slender throat again.

  She stirred, letting out a soft sigh. Her eyes fluttered open.

  I had kept a lamp on in the room, so I could see every inch of her. After I had brought her into my bedroom and fucked her good and hard, I didn’t let up until she was on the brink of exhaustion.

  “I think you broke me,” she said, her voice rough with sleep.

  I placed a soft peck on her mouth, sliding my tongue between her lips.

  She deepened the kiss.

  I chuckled. “I must not have broken you that much.”

  Lily smiled up at me. “Are we good?”

  “We are.” I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

  “Well I freaked out tonight and then Killian showed up and…”

  “And you said that I’m your boyfriend and I fucked you like a raging animal,” I added for her.

  “I liked it.”

  “I know.” I leaned on my elbow, running my hand down her torso.

  “No.” She rolled onto her side. “I liked it a lot. I felt connected to you on a whole other level I have never felt before. With anyone. It’s like…” Her cheeks reddened. “It’s like you were fucking my soul.”

  My cock jumped at her words. “I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend before. Am I jealous of Killian? Yes. He had you first. But that’s beside the point. You kicking him out tonight was hot as fuck. I’ve never had someone do that for me either. So, thank you.”

  “I don’t know why Killian was here tonight.” She rested her head against my chest. “It’s frustrating. He’s frustrating. It’s like he’s causing problems just to cause problems.” She sighed, pulling away from me.

  “He’s an asshole, Lily. Men like that don’t need a reason to do anything.”

  She stood from the bed, revealing her naked, scarred body before me. She was short but curvy. Her pale skin was marred with a few freckles. My favorite one was on the inside of her right thigh.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her brows narrowing.

  “Because you’re beautiful.”

  She scoffed. “I’m scarred.”

  “So am I and you seem to think I’m still hot.” I shrugged, leaning back against the headboard with my arm behind my head. I bent my knee, letting it fall to the side. The white sheet dipped down below my belly button, resting on top of my cock that was now semi-hard.

  Lily’s eyes dropped to my crotch, her tongue peeking out to lick along her bottom lip.

  I bit back a chuckle.

  “You can’t do that,” she said, her voice husky.

  “I’m not doing anything.” I ran my hand over my chest and down my hard stomach.

  “Lucas.” Her nostrils flared.

  My dick lengthened. It amazed me that no matter how many times we had sex or how rough we had been, she still always wanted me.

  “How many guys did you fuck for booze?” I asked, knowing it would only piss her off. Call me a masochist, but I needed to know everything there was to know about this woman standing only a few feet away.

  “Five before I realized that I was good at it.” Her gaze popped to mine. “Why?”

  “How many more?”

  She frowned. “Enough.”

  “Fine. We’ll work with that.” I slid my hand beneath the sheet, wrapping my fingers around my dick. “We’ve already fucked several times tonight but we’re going to fuck again.”

  She came toward me. “Are you going to fuck the guys out of me? You know I’ve slept with more than just five, Lucas.”

  “Yeah? Well I’ve slept with more than just you.” My hand stroked from base to tip.

  Lily pulled the sheet off of me and straddled my waist. “I want you to forget them.”

  “And I want you to forget the men you’ve been with.” I sat up, cupping her nape. “Do you think you can help me do that?”

  “Yeah.” She grabbed my hand from her neck and kissed my palm. “Help me forget, baby.”

  For the rest of the night, I did.

  Lily

  IT HAD BEEN A few days since I freaked out over Lucas offering me the job at his shop. I wasn’t sure if I felt like he had an ulterior motive or what my issue was but by the time the night ended, I was over it.

  Six times. Six times we had sex before we passed out. A few days later and I was still sore.

  While I was hunched over the counter at Crane’s Ink, I couldn’t help but laugh at the way Lucas was walking slowly.

  Every time he walked by me, he would smack my butt and give me an answer to the crossword puzzle I was working on. Thanks to my grandma, I had become obsessed with them. Although I usually tried to figure them out on my own, doing them with Lucas was fun. I made a mental note to turn it into a sexy game.

  “What’s that smile for?” Lucas asked, sitting at the tattoo station.

  “Just thinking how we could turn crossword puzzles into a sexy game.” I tapped the pencil against my chin.

  “What? Like strip crossword?”

  I laughed. “Something like that.”

  He chuckled, shaking his head.

  The chime on the door dinged.

  I looked up from the crossword puzzle and found a large man entering the shop. He had light brown hair, with graying scruff on a strong chiseled jaw. His piercing green eyes met mine. He gave me a small smile and a nod.

  “Shephard.” Lucas stood, greeting the man and pulling him in for a hug. “How are you?”

  “Living the dream,” the man I now knew as Shepard said.

  Lucas glanced my way. “Lily Noel, Donny Shephard. Shephard, Lily.”

  I smiled, giving Shephard a tiny wave.

  “Since when do you have someone working for you?” Shephard looked between us both.

  Lucas only gave me a wink before turning back to his friend. “She’s actually working with me. Not for me.”

  Shephard looked between us, a slow smile spreading on his face. “Interesting.” He turned back to Lucas. “Did you get the image I sent you?”

  “I did.” Lucas sat and showed him his tablet.

  “Fuck man.” Shephard whistled. “That’s perfect.”

  While they continued chatting about Shepard’s tattoo, I went back to work on the crossword puzzle. I had come to learn rather quickly that Lucas didn’t book himself a lot of appointments. He liked to keep busy but not so busy that he became overwhelmed.

  “I don’t want to lose my passion for it.”

  It made sense. So we spread out his appointments for him. I also had a feeling that he didn’t actually need the money.

  The door chimed again, revealing Lena.

  “Hey.” I smiled up at her.

  “How’s it going?” she asked me.

  “Not too bad. You?”

  “Good,” she said, glancing at Lucas before looking back at me.

  He didn’t look up when she came in, but he looked our way now. Our eyes locked.

  My heart stuttered. God, I loved the way he looked at me.

  “So, are you guys official now?” Lena asked, low enough for only me to hear.

 
; “Yeah. I guess we are.” I rose to my full height, stretching my arms up and over my head. My muscles twitched. A sharp pain jabbed me in the side. I gasped, rubbing the spot.

  “Lily.” Lucas shoved to his feet.

  “I’m fine.” I waved him off. “Do Shephard’s tattoo. I’m good.” I rolled my eyes when no one moved. “Seriously. I’m fine.”

  Lucas sat, muttering to Shephard.

  “What was that about?” Lena asked a moment later.

  “I had…uh…an accident a few weeks back and I’m still a little tender. It depends on how I move. I’m usually good but I think I broke a rib so I’m still healing from that.” I didn’t want to tell her that I was actually attacked.

  “Holy shit, girl.” Lena’s eyes widened. “Where did this happen?”

  “I was walking home.” I shook my head. “It’s fine. It’s done and over with and I’m good.”

  “Well I’m glad you’re okay.” Lena blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Who’s that?” She nodded to Shepard.

  “A friend of Lucas’s,” I told her. “Oh and he’s married.”

  “He is?” Lena frowned. “Too bad. Are you sure?”

  “I saw the wedding band and he also hasn’t looked our way at all.” Even if he wasn’t married, he never noticed Lena so clearly, he had no interest.

  “Must be nice,” Lena muttered. “Anyway, I stopped by to see if you were able to get anything on my ex.”

  “I told you we didn’t,” Lucas said.

  “Is this her?” Shephard asked.

  Lucas nodded.

  Shephard nodded to the empty chair by the bed. “Sit,” he told Lena.

  She hugged her purse tighter but did as she was told.

  “Lucas told me that you’re trying to get custody of your daughter,” Shephard said, while Lucas went back to working on his tattoo.

  “I am,” Lena murmured.

  “I’m a cop and I’ve been friends with Lucas for years. You can trust me.” Shephard looked my way then. “There’s still no information on your attack.”

  My eyes widened. “He’s the one you called?” I asked Lucas.

  He nodded. “I meant to introduce you two earlier, but we’ve been kind of busy.”

  “Well, any friend of Lucas’s is a friend of mine.” I smiled.