BARR: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “On your walk home,” Les said with a laugh.

  “Come on,” Mac said. “He’s good.”

  I started to move just in time to watch them climb into my SUV and drive away.

  Leaving me fucking stranded… somewhere.

  The last thing I saw was the red lights on the back of the SUV.

  Then I put my head back and shut my eyes again.

  Everything hurt. Head to toe.

  Inside and out.

  It didn’t make sense…

  But in reality it did make sense.

  It made perfect sense.

  This was what was supposed to happen.

  I survived Brooks Crest.

  I jumped into BC and left my mark.

  Now it was Mac’s turn to have a run at it.

  I was free…

  My eyes opened again.

  There were stars all above me.

  I wanted to smile.

  I wanted to laugh.

  I wanted to laugh so hard that the pain would go away.

  But when I opened my mouth to do so, it all hit me at once.

  There was no time to laugh.

  No time to smile.

  No time for anything.

  I had to get to Mel.

  I had to keep my promise.

  * * *

  I switched between walking and running, knowing I was screwed.

  But that didn’t stop me.

  I hobbled and wobbled my ass all the way back to Brooks Crest and to the auditorium.

  When I opened the doors, they shut behind me with an echoing thud that proved what my eyes had already seen.

  The place was empty.

  There was a piano on the stage.

  Not a single person in the auditorium.

  I stood there, feeling dead inside.

  “Hey, Barr, is that you?” a voice called out.

  I turned my head and saw Dan sweeping the aisles between the seats.

  “I missed it, huh?” I called out.

  “What? That?” Dan asked, pointing to the piano. “Nothing to miss.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She didn’t play.”

  “She didn’t play?”

  “No, no,” Dan said. “Poor girl. She was all worked up backstage. Nobody could calm her down. She left but came back. I don’t know, maybe five minutes later. She said she was ready. Walked out to the piano and… she was ice, Barr. Frozen like ice. They hurried to put someone else out there and she… that was it for her.”

  I turned and blew through the doors and started to run.

  I ran all the way back to my secret room.

  I never climbed those metal steps so fast before.

  When I climbed through the window, I saw the room was trashed.

  All the strands of lights pulled down.

  The covers thrown all over the room.

  The keyboard flipped over.

  I walked across the floor, stepping on anything in my way.

  I wished for anything for her to be there… waiting… crying…

  There was one place she would be if she wasn’t here.

  I climbed out of the window and hurried back down the metal steps.

  The first week Mel and I started hanging out, I told her I liked her. And that it wasn’t just me liking her to say that I liked her. But I really liked her.

  She stopped me from talking and asked why I was talking like a fool.

  I blurted out that I loved her.

  After one week.

  She laughed at me and I told her I was serious.

  And for some reason when she said prove it, I took out my knife and carved our initials into a tree. As if I could find a way to be anymore cliché.

  Mel laughed at me the entire time but there wasn’t a week that went by that I didn’t catch her sitting at that tree.

  That’s how I knew it meant something to her.

  That’s how I knew I meant something to her.

  Her subtle ways of telling me she loved me without saying the words.

  And I broke my promise.

  All so I could have Mac finish throwing the knives at my back.

  “Fuck,” I whispered when I got to the tree and found nobody there.

  Mel was supposed to play that show tonight and then move forward in her life. Get away from her crazy ass mother who was a waitress at high end strip clubs… who took more than tips…

  I put my hand to the initials on the tree and then backed up.

  I kept going until I climbed up on a picnic table and sat there.

  I lit a cigarette and looked around.

  It was quiet, calm, and empty.

  I felt empty too.

  With each drag of my cigarette, time put distance between myself and Mel.

  She always told me everything came to an end.

  I always told her that didn’t include us.

  Now I’d spend the rest of my life trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong.

  Chapter 18

  It was supposed to be one song.

  But it was never just one song.

  Not when I was playing in my secret underground club.

  Not when people clapped for me and asked for more.

  And especially not when I had the chance to kind of show off a little in front of Mel. I wasn’t the type of person to care about that kind of thing, but for her…

  I turned my head and saw her smiling as she watched me play.

  I took my right hand off the piano and plucked the cigarette from my lips. I placed it on the piano. I doubt I could smoke the thing anymore because of my sweat dripping on it.

  I slowly stood up and pushed the piano bench away.

  Then I stopped playing.

  Mid-note.

  Mid-song.

  A few people clapped.

  I put my hands out and a few more people clapped too.

  Mel cupped her hands around her mouth and let out a long Boooo! sound.

  Alex was putting drinks on a table and she froze in place.

  Looking at me. Then to Mel. Then to me.

  She put the last drink on the table, tucked the tray under her arm, and she cupped her hands around her mouth and boo’ed me too.

  “Really?” I called out.

  “We want more!” Mel called.

  “Play another song, Barr!” Alex yelled.

  Then came the scattering of Yeah! from the same people who had cheered me on.

  This place wasn’t exactly supposed to be like this.

  It was a place to hide out and relax.

  Sit at the bar and listen to music or listen to people read poetry out loud. You didn’t have to clap. You didn’t have to enjoy anything. You just had to be there.

  I put my left hand to the piano and hit a C note.

  Mel let out a woo! sound.

  It was nice to see her come alive.

  Break out of her shell and put that mile high steel wall to rest for the moment.

  I faced the piano again, still standing, and started to play again.

  I broke into a fast rhythm, my fingers scrambling like I was some space geek typing in a long chain of code to shoot a missile that would prevent an asteroid from turning the Earth into dust.

  My heart raced as fast as my fingers moved.

  My right leg even moved, catching myself almost wanting to dance to my own music.

  What the fuck is wrong with you, Barr?

  I played faster.

  I gritted my teeth.

  I knew what the fuck was wrong with me.

  The Rulz were my way out of everything that related to Mel. I could stir up trouble in BFH and then settle it my way. I could pick fights with HCH and win them. I could…

  I could never get Mel out of my mind and heart.

  I lifted my hands off the piano and looked around.

  More people applauded me.

  I pointed to Benny and nodded.

  He gave me a thumbs up.

  Then I pointed to Bob
by.

  He raised his glass to me and drank what was left of it.

  My hands hit the piano again and I kept playing.

  As fast as I could go, so many notes being hit at once, their sound smacked against each other over and over in the air around me.

  I scaled my fingers from the highest C down to the lowest and suddenly slowed it all down. Hitting the same note over and over but controlling the pace.

  My fast play suddenly became a slow and smooth sound.

  I looked at Mel again and the same smile was plastered on her face.

  I pointed to her.

  She quickly shook her head.

  I stopped playing.

  Benny and Bobby were now up on the small stage.

  I pointed to Mel again.

  “How about a duet?” I called out.

  A few people applauded.

  But it was Alex who got the ball rolling.

  She cupped her hands around her mouth again and cheered for Mel.

  Benny and Bobby were getting themselves set up and I walked to the edge of the small stage and stepped down.

  Mel stood up and put her hand out, shaking her head.

  “Barr, no,” she said.

  Now the smile was suddenly gone. Fear in her eyes.

  But that was okay with me.

  I reached for her hand and nodded. “Come on, love.”

  “Stop it,” she said.

  I pulled her toward me. “This place is for a moment like this, Mel. It’s casual. Relaxed. I fucked up before. I missed you playing. And you didn’t play. And it was like both of our lives just stopped. So just get up there with me and play a song. Anything. Nobody is here that we know. Fuck it.”

  Mel opened her mouth. Her eyes moved away from mine and I knew she was looking at the stage.

  She ripped her hand away and walked by me.

  I turned and saw her stepping up on the stage.

  That’s when I knew she was all mine again.

  * * *

  I started the song.

  Something slow and fun.

  Bobby came in with a bass line.

  And then Benny threw in his random trumpet notes when they fit.

  It wasn’t perfect. And it wasn’t meant to be perfect.

  If I wanted to make it as a musician I probably could have. But this wasn’t about becoming famous or making money or even being heard.

  It was about fun.

  Yeah… fun.

  I was the serious, pensive asshole when it came to the Rulz. The guy who stood there and smoked his cigarette slow and cool. The one who was sometimes quiet but always ready to throw the hardest punch if need be. The guy who knew how to navigate around a shit hole drug house like the one Ruby had been stuck in… because I had more experience and history than I cared to admit to anyone.

  That was me…

  But sometimes just fucking around with the piano was enough to chase all of that away for a little while.

  Mel stood next to me on my left side.

  I took my left hand from the piano and reached for her left hand.

  She was shaking as she hit a few keys.

  She was slow and scared.

  “Enjoy it, love,” I said to her. “It’s just us. Like it used to be. I love you, Mel. I never stopped loving you and I never will.”

  She looked at me.

  I backed away from the piano.

  Mel side stepped and I slid the piano bench toward her.

  She sat down and started to play.

  Benny stopped playing the trumpet, staring at her with a big grin on his face.

  Bobby reduced his bass line to just one note, over and over, giving Mel the tempo.

  And she did it.

  She really fucking did it.

  She sat there and played a song in front of everyone at the underground club.

  Was it the five hundred people from back in Brooks Crest?

  Nope.

  Was it going to change her life?

  Probably not.

  At one point she looked back at me and started to smile.

  I came up with a crazy idea and sat down on the bench and bumped my ass to hers to move her over.

  I put my right hand to her hand and she pulled her hand away.

  We tried to play together and it didn’t work.

  I hit one note. She hit a different one.

  She gasped and looked at me.

  “Who cares?” I whispered to her. “Just play.”

  We tried again and again, slowing figuring it out together.

  Poor Benny packed up his trumpet and walked off the stage.

  Bobby left his bass behind when Alex waved a glass in the air, showing him he had a refill waiting.

  That meant it was just Mel and I on stage, behind a piano, playing together.

  We traded glances.

  Her cheeks kept turning red.

  It was fucking intense.

  And kind of hot.

  Her left hand played the lowers notes. My right hand played the higher notes.

  Her right hand was on the bench. My left hand was on the bench.

  We ended up holding hands as we played.

  We fucked up more notes than we played right, but we didn’t stop playing.

  Which meant something.

  I leaned toward her. “Mel…”

  “Shut up, Barr,” she said. “You know I love you too. Don’t make me announce it. This is fucking crazy as it is.”

  “I was just going to tell you, you look pretty right now.”

  “Shut up,” she said. “I can’t…”

  Her eyes moved away from me.

  I felt her right hand lose its grip to my hand.

  And her left hand stopped playing.

  I looked where she was and didn’t see anything out of the normal.

  “What’s wrong, love?”

  Mel stood up.

  So I stood up.

  She looked at me, her eyes filling with tears.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “You’re wrong, Barr.”

  “Wrong? About that?”

  “You said nobody knows us here,” Mel said.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “Who’s here? Somebody you know is here? Who?”

  Mel turned her head and looked to the bar.

  I looked too.

  She grabbed my forearm and dug her nails in hard.

  “Barr… my mother’s boyfriend is here…”

  * * *

  I pulled Mel off the stage and to our little table.

  A handful of people clapped. The rest looked confused.

  As far as I was concerned, every person there could go fuck off.

  The entire night had just flipped itself over.

  I sat Mel down and touched her face. “The guy at the bar, love. Black hair? Gray polo? The big ass watch only to prove how small his dick is?”

  “That’s the one.”

  My eyes looked to the bar.

  That was Carl.

  The guy who hurt Mel.

  I was shocked I remained calm so far. In my mind I was stomping his head into the ground.

  He reached for the person next to him.

  Some woman in a glittery black dress with legs that stuck out and went for miles. She was boney skinny, her blonde hair perfectly done, straight, halfway down her back.

  Carl ran a finger through her hair, tucking it behind her ear.

  Then he kissed her cheek.

  “Does your mother have blonde hair, love?” I asked.

  “No. Why?”

  “He just upped his game,” I said. “He’s on a new level of asshole. He brought someone here, Mel.”

  Mel turned and let out a gasp. “Motherfucker.”

  She tried to stand and I pulled her back down.

  Alex came over to the table. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “The new guy over there,” I said to her. “Who is he? Why is he here?”

  Alex loo
ked. “Oh. He… he’s here through a friend of a friend kind of thing. Why? Is this a bad situation?”

  “Yeah, it is,” I said.

  “I can talk to Hank,” Alex said. “But you can’t do anything here.”

  “Then he needs to go outside,” I said.

  “Barr, what are you talking about?” Mel asked.

  I looked at her. “He’s not getting away with it.”

  “What happened?” Alex asked.

  I stood up and got close to Alex. “You don’t say a word, love. But you get him outside. He’s a piece of shit who wants to fuck anything with a pulse. Think you can help with that?”

  “Outside?” Alex asked.

  “Outside,” I said. “Make it like he’s getting some wild fantasy come true. The secret underground club with the hot waitress looking for a quickie.”

  “I’m flattered you think I’m hot, Barr,” Alex said. “But Mel is much prettier than me.”

  “This isn’t a joke,” I said. “He hit her. And I’m going to make sure he never does that again.”

  Alex stepped back. Her face was flushed.

  She looked down at Mel and nodded.

  She walked away in a hurry.

  “Barr, stop this,” Mel said.

  I looked down at Mel next. “No. I wasn’t there to protect you. This is on me. I’m fixing this. For me.”

  “He’s… if he…”

  I crouched down. “Listen to me, love. You can sit here and sip soda and pretend like nothing is happening. I can have Benny sit with you. You can listen to some of the poetry. But we’re doing this.”

  “We’re?” Mel asked.

  I reached for my phone. “This isn’t just about me. This is about the Rulz. The way we love and protect. We did it for Tinsley. We did it for Ruby. And now we’re going to do it for you.”

  Mel grabbed my arm. “You’re going to call Pres and Kip to come here? To do what? This is crazy.”

  I touched Mel’s face and my thumb ran over the corner of her lip where Carl had hit her.

  “Crazy is me letting this happen to you. Crazy is you sitting here, still in love with me. What I’m about to do isn’t crazy at all, love. It’s the right thing to do. And you can’t stop me.”